Old, nackered and past it riding club

[eahotson]

Just for Fun.Do you think there might be room for one.My suggestions are, no class to last longer than 10 minutes.
No children on premises,on grounds of cruelty to adults.
Number of accessible toilets high and no more than 5 minutes maximum away from parking areas/ring.
Large bar with attendent grooms to help you back to your box and to drive you home.
Several very large mounting blocks.
Any other suggestions?

 

[Nicnac]

Photos to be picked by rider before publication to all and sundry.

Grooms to tack up/untack and wash down whilst rider refreshes in bar.

I'd join!

 

[eahotson]

Brilliant ideas.

 

[Glitter's fun]

Young riders on hand to warm up/tire out your mount.
Special "Know What- NAH" class for those who get as far as arriving but then decide to sit & watch.
Chocolate dispenser for those sod-it-life-is-short moments.
Safety pin dispenser for burst clothing. (see above)

 

[ycbm]

On the grounds of electrolyte balancing "sports drinks". With tube direct to the mouth allowed in all classes.

 

[ycbm]

Great thread!

 

[marmalade76]

You can't ban children, mine are my assistants/helpers! They are teens, though, not little.

 

[SilverLinings]

A special soft surface in all riding areas for unscheduled dismounts (this magic surface would still be safe for the horses of course). Someone on hand to pass the riders refreshment at any time required when riding. A hoist to get on and off the horses!

 

[ycbm]

You can't ban children, mine are my assistants/helpers! They are teens, though, not little.

Minimum height 1m 30?

 

[Glitter's fun]

All classes to have callers for those who forget where they're going.
Outside of ring areas also to have callers. "You left your car over there..."

 

[ycbm]

Mounting blocks with extra big tops to dismount onto if you've gone pensioner crazy and bought the biggest horse you've ever owned!

 

[vhf]

A caller for all disciplines, and an optional 10-minute-box (for rider comfort) in all 'endurance classes' (i.e. over 10 minutes).
Under 50's only allowed HC.
Under 40's only allowed as assistants.
On site physio, massage and quiet-rooms with beds. (all for riders only).
Motivational coaches.

 

[ycbm]

All classes to have callers for those to forget where they're going.
Outside of ring areas also to have callers. "You left your car over there..."

Runner service to take your keys and run round the parking pressing the bottom until they find the vehicle which answers. Our local John Lewis used to offer this!



ETA I have decided not to edit the best typo I've ever done

 

[ycbm]

Free painkiller and anti inflammatory dispensers in all loos.

 

[Fransurrey]

Might I suggest tena ladies or period pants as 'courtesy comfort items' in the loos? Along with emergency oestrogel?

 

[Glitter's fun]

Runner service to take your keys and run round the parking pressing the bottom until they find the vehicle which answers. Our local John Lewis used to offer this!

Guessing you mean "button" but if not I may still be interested...

 

[vhf]

Free painkiller and anti inflammatory dispensers in all loos.

Ooh yes, dispensing chemist and prescribing GP on site if you realise you need something a bit stronger than the usual...

 

[eahotson]

Great thread!

Thanks.

 

[HeyMich]

The most important one - NO WHITE JODS REQUIRED, ANYWHERE, EVER!

 

[eahotson]

Mounting blocks with extra big tops to dismount onto if you've gone pensioner crazy and bought the biggest horse you've ever owned!

Oh dear!

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

Free wine and gin for over 50s

 

[HeyMich]

and lots of chairs. Chairs next to the trailer parking, chairs next to the warm up, chairs next to the arena, chairs next to the loo... you get the idea!

 

[eahotson]

Free wine and gin for over 50s

Yes yes yes.

 

[Trouper]

All announcements to be repeated at frequent intervals for the short of memory.

 

[vhf]

Two of every class, so you can have another go to win a rosette if you bottled it/went wrong/arrived late due to wardrobe malfunction/saw the first class and suddenly wanted to after all...

 

[nagblagger]

A 'dismounting' hoist, which lowers you to the ground gracefully, for those that have trouble getting off!

 

[HeyMich]

Ooh, how about a team of butler type folk who walk around the parking area helping do up zips on long riding boots? And then after we've ridden, they come and help us take them off again. And they bring chairs with them, naturally.

 

[eahotson]

Another brilliant idea.

 

[Glitter's fun]

Programmes, judges notes, everything, to be written REALLY BIG so you don't have to keep taking your reading glasses on & off.

 

[nagblagger]

A competition for the most faults..I might stand a chance then.