Please excuse me while I die of idiot disease.

OMG I can't breath...... and now my one eyed, 3 legged staffie is looking at me strangely.

rotfl

*gasps*

Starzaan.... I do love you in a non mad lesbiany way
 
Are you saying that you wouldn't go all mad lesbiany for my crazy morags?!

You'll have to be gentle... they're a bit tender now!
 
No strained morags is no laughing matter... but the handyman going to get his friends to witness this with said friend requiring tena lady on the floor... now that brought a tear to my eye! you really should publish this....
 
Will there be any tickets for sale next time you ride this horse?? It sounds like a great spectator sport. (in a non lesbian ish way).

We will all sit on buckets, just in case.
 
If you're very, VERY nice to me, and promise to say yes to a sausage... then you can come and watch my morags flapping in the breeze....

I accept payment in cake, pomegranate and gold horse shoes.
 
Marvellous. I will be VERY nice indeed.

I (like yourself) very rarely turn down a sausage when offered.

Wafting windswept Morags must be a sight to behold (especially when some of us only possess a pair of non wafting fried eggs).
 
HollyWoozle said:
To be honest, I don't know which excites me more... Nigella or the food...
Click to expand...

OH has just said... "What does she [Nigella] have to do with food? I thought it was just legalised porn"

Chico Mio said:
This is hilarious! I am crying and OH is dribbling tea down himself.....
Click to expand...

least it's only tea!!

Starzaan said:
I think I might have to go to the doctor with pulled morags.
Click to expand...

please stop it.... my lapdog doesn't like being covered in tea! It's still sticky from the ovaltine the other night!!! I'd love to see his face when you try to explain that one to the GP!! :D:D

Starzaan said:
If you're very, VERY nice to me, and promise to say yes to a sausage... then you can come and watch my morags flapping in the breeze....
Click to expand...

its not us you should be asking, but FF.... silly girl - now we know where you've been going wrong!! :D:D ;)
 
Starzaan said:
Short of whacking them out and shimmying in front of FF, I think we can safely say he's seen my morags.... I've spent enough time bending over and saying "WHOOPS, my top appears to have fallen down...".

I have no shame.
Click to expand...

No shame indeed, but Morags youse has & everybody knows...

If you've got 'em - flaunt 'em !!!

Jen :D
 
Oh Stazaan you are awsome! Reading this post every morning after you lot have let loose over night makes the fact that I'm at work bearable! :)

How ever I think the rest of the office is getting slightly worried about my health as I sit a snort and rock in my chair and giggle when asked a question...

You most recent incident has reminded me of a run in my friend had with a western saddle horn..

X (shall remain namless) and I were working on a QH stud in Agrentina and had just taken a group of 2yr olds out, and as V hopped off to close the gate, the front of her shirt hooked on the horn, ripping ALL the buttons off leaving her generous morags some what exposed. :o :o
On the way back to the yard we ran into the 2 HOT brazilians who worked there who couldnt understand why:
a) she kept hiding behind me/ turing her mare away,
b) I was PMSL in the saddle (almost fell off!)
c) we didn't want to help bring the steers in (excuse for a good gallop)

On returning to the yard she still had a nice long walk past everyone to get back to our cabin! :) ;) :)
 
Starzaan ... the image of you being bronced with and yelling about your escaped morags has nearly killed me ... I'm so glad OH has gone to work and I don't have to try and explain why I'm crying with laughter ...

ETA - strained morags are NO laughing matter. Get FF to rub some deep heat on them for you ;)
 
New morag restrainers on the cards then.... you could take FF emergency shoppinggg????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then offer a hotdog in return for his kindness.
 
clipcloppop said:
"come in and have a sausage"???

really???

hahahahahha


ahahahahahahahaha


ahahahahahahahahahahahah

*breathe*

ahahahahahaha

*snort*

ahahahahaha

*chokes*
Click to expand...

What she said. You've worried me now. I too am sat at home looking very similar so if someone should come to the door I will ignore them
 
I knew someone who once ruptured a morag.

It had to go in a SLING pmsl!!!!!!!

Maybe you should go to the doc, if you got a sling for each morag you wouldn't have to buy a new morag restrainer thingy AND you could personalise the nhs ones you just got.............
d040.gif
 
Hells Bells Alma
Should we be encouraging Staarz to add any more possible conquests to her collection of the FF, the Mechanic, the ex and Nigella Lawson, she will be worn out:)
 
Really, we like running across cute girls is dishabelle...hair all over, scruffy clothes, muck everywhere...it makes you human and awkward...and you laugh and smile a lot in embarrassment.

Remember, nothing's prettier on a girl than a smile.
 
Tennessee said:
I knew someone who once ruptured a morag.

It had to go in a SLING pmsl!!!!!!!

Maybe you should go to the doc, if you got a sling for each morag you wouldn't have to buy a new morag restrainer thingy AND you could personalise the nhs ones you just got.............
d040.gif
Click to expand...

THIS just made me spit out and choke on my tea.. not a good look in the middle of the office.. ha ha ha ha
 
Maybe you'll have to get a full chest plaster cast?

At least that would be something for FF to sign.

"Just here please"

"And here"

"and there"

"...and just here"

"and this bit"

"and here"

"...and here"

"...whoops, missed a bit, just here..."
 
Oh *wheeze* My *wheeze* God *wheeze*

This has got to be the funniest thread ever, though reading the whole thing in one sitting is NOT good for the health. I thought I was going to die laughing, seriously, I couldn't breathe!
 
My morags ache like billio.

Ow.


A LOT.






And the handyman, though sexy, has a very lovely (very skinny and gorgeous) dancer girlfriend, with morags that stay where they're put... so he's not an option. And besides, I've Skyplussed at least four episode of Nigella Bites... so please excuse me while I take my tender morags to the sofa for a but of gentle wafting over Nigella and her juicy jewels...
 
Starzaan said:
My morags ache like billio.

Ow.


A LOT.






And the handyman, though sexy, has a very lovely (very skinny and gorgeous) dancer girlfriend, with morags that stay where they're put... so he's not an option. And besides, I've Skyplussed at least four episode of Nigella Bites... so please excuse me while I take my tender morags to the sofa for a but of gentle wafting over Nigella and her juicy jewels...
Click to expand...
I will NEVER look at my Highland pony ("Morag") in quite the same way again!
 
I spent about ten minutes crying with hysterics at work today whilst trying to explain this to my colleagues and failing miserably.. but they did have a good laugh at me which did cheer everybody up!

How are the morags feeling today Starzaan? You defnitely need a OSBH.... that would solve all the problems of strained morags. Not so attractive admitedly, but very comfy! :D
 
My morags are still feeling very sorry for themselves.... and I've got to give a mounted XC lesson today... that's going to be interesting! I think I might bandage the buggers down.... that should work....

I would just like to point out that FF has not sent me even the smallest suggestion of a text since the sausage incident last Tuesday.

This is quite possibly the longest period sans contact since May.... and is most definitely due to my rankness.


BUGGER AND BALLS AND ACHING MORAGS.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top