Re the "haven't a clue" thread: what's the numptiest thing YOU'VE done? ;)

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FionaM12

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Lots of us came up with funny/worrying things which we've seen other horsey folk do on the "haven't a clue" thread. So I wondered how many of us would 'fess up to our own embarrassingly numpty moments?! :D:o

I'll start it with my confession.

Newly back to horse-owning after a 30 year+ total abstinence from all things horsey, I asked my farrier to remove Mollie's shoes and he suggested I buy some hoof boots for when I ride on stoney or hard surfaces. There were no hoof boots back in the dark ages, so I'd never seen one. :o

Off I went (the farrier having measured her feet for me) to the local tack shop and asked for horse boots. These are what I came back with:

:o:o:o

I put them on my long-suffering horse. She flapped about the yard, I was just thinking, "This can't be right..." when the lovely farmer's wife came out and explained they were not the right sort of boot. :o:o:o

Home I went and got on the internet and did some reading. Shame I didn't do this in the first place of course, but never mind, lesson learnt. :p I then bought the right type of boot online. :)

I confess to being too embarrassed to return or sell my embarrassing purchase but hid them in my cellar, a guilty secret. :o So if anyone has a medium-sized horse with foot injury... just give me a shout. :D
 
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Lol :D

I entered my welsh cob who had a mane down to his shoulder and a tail that dragged along the ground in a show cob class when I was a teenager

Well.... Welsh cobs are cobs right?

It was years later that the 'OMG did I really do that' moment hit
 
Oh ha! Bless you!
I was uber stupid last month and tried to long rein a difficult youngster with safety stirrups to hold the reins.... Guess what happens there!
Embarrassingly dumb!
 
Where to begin?

A few years ago, I entered my mare into a WH class, entered the ring to multiple mumblings from onlookers, did my canter circle waiting for the bell, when the commentator asked me to kindly remove myself from the ring and put on a hat.

My best one though was probably when my vet came to do a check up on my cob (who had issues with his sheath), and I brought out the horse, tied it up and left it to the vet. Vet then looked at said horse, then at me and said something along the lines of 'this horse doesn't have a sheath?' My poor mare.
 
Well where do I start? Several years ago I was working on a hunting yard and the owner said 'Just muck out those stables and then we'll put the kettle on' so I did as she said, filled the said kettle with water from the hose and boiled it and asked where the cups were. Owner was HORRIFIED. It was to get warm water for cleaning the tack. Drinking kettle was in the staff kitchen!
And on my yard, some of my best numpties here a) Girl came to ride and got tacked up then let both stirrups down whilst still in the stable, even though she had to lead out through the stable and 2 x gates.
b) Same girl came to an in-hand show, they were running early so I scooted off to get the number and I said 'Quick, stick that in-hand bridle on that horse'. Came back to the box to find poor horse with an in-hand bridle on upside-down and the girl trying to to the throat latch up as a brow band!
 
I bought a hi-viz breast plate for Ned. It wasn't in it's packaging, but it was with breast plates etc..
I got it back and couldn't for the life of me figure out how to get it on him!!
I asked a friend and she told me it was for people...


Not a novice mistake, but still funny!
I decided to have a "Native American" photoshoot with Ned. I picked a day and time when no one would be there. I was wrong! The farrier and his apprentice were there and sat there gawping at me! Sadly, not in a "She's so hot!" way, but rather in a "Who is this lunatic?" way...

I was doing work experience on a yard. I was walking through the fields with a girl (we are both to blame here!) and neither of us shut the gate from the mares and a stallion. Oops! Thankfully after plenty of galloping around avoiding us, we managed to get Mr. horse back in his field!!
 
I'll never forget my total and utter panic as I watched mare I was looking after for someone get up from a really really good roll in her correctly fitted rug and hop away on three legs. She couldn't put one of her hinds to the ground and I was horror-struck. I ran into the house to call the vet, decided I'd better have another look first and went back out. I went to take her rug off, slightly surprised that with this awful injury she didn't show any signs of stress at all and found that she'd managed to get one leg trapped under the cross surcingles.
 
Hah just last week I was in such a mad crazy rush at a show I tried to chuck my poor boys double bridle on while the curb chain was attached at both ends.... :eek::rolleyes:

He threw his head up like " mum your doing it wrong!" Wasnt until both bits were in his gob I reaslised.. and said " sorry, your mums an idiot" :p:o
 
When I was a young teenager and having lessons only very occasionally I had no horse sense at all. One Saturday, I had finished my lesson and I was asked to turn my horse out in the indoor school with about 5 other horses who were already loose in there. After I got my horse into the school I promptly took off his bridle and he shot off still wearing his saddle :o

Later on, when I was 15 or 16 I did a week work experience at another school. Another girl and I were asked to muck out one block of stables. After an hour on of the instructors came to see his we were getting on, only to be horrified that we were basically bottoming one box which was deep litter :o. The blummin thing stunk to high heaven as we were "digging the wet out"
 
When I was about 15 I went for a ride up the road on a very spooky mare and as said mare was spooking and napping on the grass verge at a large road sign the cars coming from behind me were dutifully giving me plenty of space when one man rolled down his window and said 'you could wear a hat you know' - oops.
 
I remember putting on my first full neck turnout rug on... backwards. :o Umm, it didn't look right, but couldn't understand why for a few moments. Luckily no-one about to see!
 
Hmm, some of these are pretty funny (esp Nah's breastplate error! :D) but I fear none are quite as cringeworthy as my Great Hoof Boot Embarrassment. :o:o

Oh, and 4x4, our own numpty moments, not other peoples' please! ;):p
 
Oh god- tonnes!

One that sticks (and still hurts...) was out hacking on my mare- I'd had the ex racer out for a couple of hours in the morning, swooped horses and headed out for a 4 hour marathon with my second horse. By the time we were on our way back, my arse was in severe pain, so I was wandering along on a long rein with my left foot in the stirrup, and my right leg slung over side saddle style. I was explaining in cheeky terms to my male friend that my mare would outrun his huge gelding any day of the week (I was young, she was quick!) and decided to prove my point so I kicked on. She went off like a rocket, I realised that my right leg was on the wrong side, tried to get it back over, couldn't figure out where to put my reins to get said leg over and popped off the side- with left foot stuck in stirrup. I remember trying to keep my head off the deck (brand new GPA helmet...!) and reaching for something to hold and realising it was her flanks I was reaching for... I still have a knackered shoulder from sticking it between the ground and my hat!
 
When I was fourteen and working at a riding school I tried to give some small child a leg up and threw her right over the horse.

But really, I don't seem to get much better as I get older. :rolleyes: The other day I bought a new lunge line to teach my horse to long rein. I attached the new one on the far side, brought it down over his bum; he immediately trotted off and I realised that I'd bought a really short one. I could barely get a foot from his bum, so I had to run round after him trying to stop without dropping the rein. It's a miracle I've managed to keep him alive this long tbh.
 
Last year, I tacked my horse up, left her in her stable because I forgot to grab my gloves, so I toddled off to the tack room. When I came back, the stable door was wide open and my horse wasn't inside. So I ran towards the fields and all I could see is my horses arse and the stirrups flapping about at her side while she was galloping towards the fields! Only then did I realise that it was me who left the stable wide open, not my horse opening it :o

A few years back, I was working at pony camp, and the instructor asked me to go and get her horse ready to go out for a hack with the group. I know all the horses there perfectly, I learnt to ride there and I still see them every year, some of them I have even known since they were born. So off I went down the field, caught the horse, brought it in, brushed, tacked up and waited for instructor to return. All the kids were ready and on their ponies, walking around in the school waiting to go for a hack. Instructor comes back, looks at her tacked up horse and says ''well I am flattered that you think I am good enough to ride this unbroken 3year old out on a hack with a bunch of kiddies!'' :eek: It turns out I was in my own little world and brought in the wrong horse! In my defence, said 3 year old mare was the instructors horses younger sister, so they do look alike, a bit, but the 3 year old doesn't have any markings whereas the instructors horse has a big white star and 2 white socks, and is about a hand bigger :o
 
When I was a kid my pony was kept at a riding school, they didn't have a lot of land so rented a huge field about 10 mins away. I went to get the pony who of course was right at the bottom of the huge field. Having now walked for about 20 minutes to catch the blinking thing and being an inpatient teenager, I tied my clip rope to his headcoller sort of like reins and vaulted on his back. Pony (who was a highly strung jumping pony) then took off up the field at a gallop, broncing. I think I only didn't fall off because I was too terrified of the rollocking I would have gotten! He stopped when he got to the gate and I led him home, never did it again lol!
 
OK, OK so I rugged a horse to the (thankfully switched off) electric fencing by doing up the belly straps when she was standing alongside it. She did not take too kindly to this, and needless to say the fencing took some repairing :o
 
I managed to attach my horse to the window grill in her stable a year or so back.:o

I threw her rug over her (rather un-BHS style), and somehow the leg strap clip hit the grill, and clipped itself on to it! I only noticed when she turned around to try and walk away - and was stuck to the window! :eek:
 
Got on without the reins over the head- I was in a world of my own :o
Didn't realise there was a farmer with an airgun a few fields away! Pony promptly shot off at canter, and I had to throw myself forwards and grab onto the bit rings, screaming for dear life. Did mange to stop by pulling on the bit rings, but a rather hairy expirience!
 
Loads of the 'why on earth did I just do that?' moments of idiocy! But the two that come to mind are...

I was working in a racing yard, mucking out one of 'my' three. Horse was tied up but something caused him to pull back, he broke free and headed out of the door (no wheelbarrow in the doorway, we used mucksacks.). The only thing I could think of was the rollocking I'd be in for if I let a horse loose on the yard; so what did I do? Yep, I grabbed hold of his tail :o:eek: He stopped dead, I caught him and put him back in-no one saw! Nasty Boss, you were a legend!

The other was a similar moment of brain failure. I was taking a horse for a pick of grass with the other stable lass and her horse, along the farm drive. We stopped to let the horses munch and chatted about stuff. My horse moved down the drive a bit, so I changed sides by walking around his head. I have no idea what possessed me to pass the rope under his neck whilst I was standing directly in front of him. He brought his head up, smacked me on the chin and as a result I bit through my lower lip. Owww.

I have also got on with crossed reins.......:o
 
There was a competition not too far away so I loaded my horse fully tacked. At the venue, led him off the lorry, tightened the girth, let down the stirrups and got on. Then I discovered the reins were still looped through the throat lash. I am also notorious for going out on the course with the tail guard still on.
 
FionaM12 said:
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner. :D:D:D:D:D
Click to expand...

Everyone who has ever done leadrein gymkhana games has done this! Well I have anyway.:o Several times! I'm very good at grabbing child by the seat of his pants as he goes over the point of no return and hoiking him back into the saddle, making it look like it never happened.

I'm rather embarrassed to say that as I was reading this thread I was going, I've done that, and that, oh and that... In fact I bet there were 8 out of 20 posts where I'd done it too!! Half the ones I hadn't done just sounded like the yards not explaining things properly to you rather than real boo boos!

Don't worry, I don't run a yard anymore or work with horses, so you're safe!!
 
Not numpty exactly, but back in pony days aged 10 or so I jokingly pushed my bf when she was sitting on her pony, and she fell right off! :D we still laugh about it now, well I do ;)

I do stupid stuff all the time, in an interview as an sj groom she was asking me if I could stud up, I was thinking well, I am 'stood up' took me ages to figure it out :o To be fair to me, its hard to tell in a yorkshire accent :p Still got the job, wooden spoon for most useless groom ever tho :D
 
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Wrapping a lunge round my hand whilst lunging our old boy a couple of years ago, he was a bit of a loon on the lunge and this time he had been off work for a while. He went balistic, lunge wrapped tighter round my hand, horse got faster and faster until he pulled me over and dragged me along the floor like I was water skiing! :eek: I really thought my number was up, he eventually slowed down, I managed to loosen the lunge and escape! OH had been stood in the corner of the school laughing his head off...... oh and I got a carpet burn on my coat due to the friction!
 
One day I arrived at the field one day to see the fence intact and my mare gone. I panicked as she can't jump and my escape artist other pony still there and was convinced she had been ill and someone had brought her in. I eventually found her in a huge field next to a load of baby tbs ( well disguised as she is a Welsh, not ) so relieved was I that I forgot a head collar and choose to round her up cowboy style up to her gate as I could not get near her. Lo and behold she didn't go in and galloped off with her buddy. Now twice as many horses and still no head collars :cool:
 
Never managed to leg somebody right over but did have the occasional complete miss.

Leading another pony closely behind a known kicker was a rather painful mistake
 
Taking off a rug without undoing hind leg straps. Stood holding rug with horse still attached by back legs, in the field! Luckily horse stood still while i sorted straps out. Solved by removing straps and adding fillet string!

I know someone who did a 2 hour hack with one rein done up in noseband, how he steered I have no idea.

OH put ponies tea in stable, left door open and pony galloped round garden, hitched fleece on apple tree and ripped from front to back, rolled on veg patch and made huge holes from feet on lawn. Excellent said OH when pony, who was on box rest due to annular ligament injury, was captured, ready made bulb planting holes!
 
Mollie slipped on ice when I was leading her once and nearly went over. I stepped forward to catch her.... :eek::o

Fortunately she righted herself, but I cringed as I wondered what on earth I thought I'd been doing. I'm a 5' 2" woman in my late 50s, with osteoporosis. She'd have squashed me flat! :o:p
 
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