Roll up! Roll up!! Get the answer you're looking for RIGHT here. NO problem too big..

This thread MUST be good, I just spent 3 evenings reading from #1- #815 and couldn't stop laughing.


I have a problem too. I know shoes aren't natural and try to let my mare wear her feet down herself by letting her out of the field to run up and down the tarmac with the cars. She has soo much fun she squeeels with joy every time and runs soooo fast! One of her legs is now pointing the wrong way and this seems to have affected her balance so now I think I need to put some studs in her feet. Is it ok if I use a corkscrew to make the stud holes or should I ask a qualified farrier to make proper holes in her feet? Also, should I insist on getting matchy-matchy ones to go with the red that is on the leg that is pointing the wrong way. I sure wouldn't want to commit a faux pas and risk my position on the short list for the 2012 olympics in the bullshit throwing division.

Please help PF, I know you will be able to set me straight.

Yours,

Ima Prattley
 
Dear PF,

we all know that you are a horse whisperer without equal... but are you any good at cat whispering? I really hope that you do Huggle Catmanship because I really need your help. :o

My cat is being very selfish and he absolutely refuses to catch any vermin that is larger than he is. :mad: Now in Wales we are inundated with sheep, they are everywhere and now there are lots of little ones too, it's an infestation I tell you!

Anyhooo, what can I do to encourage him to get off his lazy ar** and deal with this? Would it help his confidence if he practiced his hunting on some little birdies? We have lots of Buzzards and Ravens, I'm sure that if he decided to put some effort in, he could jump up and pluck them out of the sky. :cool:
 
How many easter eggs can my ponio eat without getting colic? And do I need to unwrap it for her? Of course, I kno not to get a cream filled egg, I'm not stupid! However Tesco's think they have a delivery of MyLiklePonio flapjack eggs coming in later this morning.:cool:

Love and kisses,
Pinkan Fluffy
 
popstar said:
This thread MUST be good, I just spent 3 evenings reading from #1- #815 and couldn't stop laughing.


I have a problem too. I know shoes aren't natural and try to let my mare wear her feet down herself by letting her out of the field to run up and down the tarmac with the cars. She has soo much fun she squeeels with joy every time and runs soooo fast! One of her legs is now pointing the wrong way and this seems to have affected her balance so now I think I need to put some studs in her feet. Is it ok if I use a corkscrew to make the stud holes or should I ask a qualified farrier to make proper holes in her feet? Also, should I insist on getting matchy-matchy ones to go with the red that is on the leg that is pointing the wrong way. I sure wouldn't want to commit a faux pas and risk my position on the short list for the 2012 olympics in the bullshit throwing division.

Please help PF, I know you will be able to set me straight.

Yours,

Ima Prattley
Click to expand...

You're quite right, shoes are NOT natural and I discourage their use at all times. All horses should be barefoot, even if it means they have to be foot sore for a while... sometimes months at a time. This is a price that you should be willing to pay for the benefit of your horse, who will always be better off with no shoes on. BUT why should you pay a professional who has trained for several years to do this when you can do a weekend course in barefoot trimming and do it yourself??
Sooo, basically, you can make the stud holes yourself in the soles of your horse's feet. No need for shoes.
Matchy matchy is always good; you can't get too much matchy matchy :D
 
Faracat said:
Dear PF,

we all know that you are a horse whisperer without equal... but are you any good at cat whispering? I really hope that you do Huggle Catmanship because I really need your help. :o

My cat is being very selfish and he absolutely refuses to catch any vermin that is larger than he is. :mad: Now in Wales we are inundated with sheep, they are everywhere and now there are lots of little ones too, it's an infestation I tell you!

Anyhooo, what can I do to encourage him to get off his lazy ar** and deal with this? Would it help his confidence if he practiced his hunting on some little birdies? We have lots of Buzzards and Ravens, I'm sure that if he decided to put some effort in, he could jump up and pluck them out of the sky. :cool:
Click to expand...
Are you really in touch with your inner cat?? It would seem not otherwise you would know that cats will not do what you ask them to. You have to make them think it's THEIR idea. So, perhaps you should 'stage' some situations where your cat would be inclined to hunt. Basically try to keep him away from all small rodents, birds and livestock and within a very short time he'll be dragging sheep through the catflap! Good luck and feel the huggles ;)
 
Dear PF,

I have a problem concerning horses. My current mare (which came to me as dangerous but has turned out to be dope on a rope ;) ) of which I have owned for 6 years has had to unexpectedly be retired due to injury :(

However, I need a horse to ride to exercise all the dogs twice a day (before and after work) ie they follow along ;)

The YO has quite clearly stated that she doesn't wanted anymore horses at the farm so I can't go off and buy another without sorting out the lame, useless one!

What shall I so with the lame, useless one? Put her in foal to a hairy common cob and make a buck from her to fund the cost of a shiny new horse's livery? Send her off to kennels seeing as she is useless and lame? Turn her out on the common and chance her luck with the natives? Sell her loaded up with bute and calmer (she is very good looking after all)?

What do you suggest?

Yours indebtedly
Inna Pickle
 
Dear PF
Thankyou very much for your help with my previous problem, although the very cross policman would'nt beleive that i had been advised by a professional to put two shetlands in child seats in the back of my rav, and insisted that i travel them in something more apropriat, i had to take them home on the bus. :(

So i have a new problem. :(
A friend of mine told me she bathed her pony the other day, and i would like to bath the shetlands, they are luvely wuvely bundles of fluff, but they do smell a bit..... horsey, so i thought a nice bubble bath would make them smell a bit more........ human, but........
I can't get them to climb up the stairs .
Do i need a staner stair lift. Please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
PapaFrita said:
You're quite right, shoes are NOT natural and I discourage their use at all times. All horses should be barefoot, even if it means they have to be foot sore for a while... sometimes months at a time. This is a price that you should be willing to pay for the benefit of your horse, who will always be better off with no shoes on. BUT why should you pay a professional who has trained for several years to do this when you can do a weekend course in barefoot trimming and do it yourself??
Sooo, basically, you can make the stud holes yourself in the soles of your horse's feet. No need for shoes.
Matchy matchy is always good; you can't get too much matchy matchy :D
Click to expand...

Thanks PF! I knew you'd have the answers I needed. I always thought people who used farriers and vets and such were just showing off about how much money they have, I'm sooooo happy to hear I can do it myself and save my money for matchy matchy blings!
 
I hope you can help me with a problem I have with my new horse. I bought him 4 months ago, I fell in love with him as he has the most unusual silver stripe along the bottom of his feet. I've noticed lately that this silver stripe is shrinking though, & he's started to walk funny. Could I have bought a horse with some kind of disease? The man I bought him off told me to put some olive oil on his feet to keep the silver shiney, but I forgot 1 day, could this be the problem?? I've scoured the forum to see if anyone else has this problem but can't find anything!
Thanks,
A. Dumbass xx
 
Ravenwood said:
Dear PF,

The YO has quite clearly stated that she doesn't wanted anymore horses at the farm so I can't go off and buy another without sorting out the lame, useless one!

What shall I so with the lame, useless one? Put her in foal to a hairy common cob and make a buck from her to fund the cost of a shiny new horse's livery? Yours indebtedly
Inna Pickle
Click to expand...

Confused me in one sentence your YO says no new horse & in the 2nd talk of putting said horse in-foal to fund new horse's livery. I think perhaps you are a TROLL, shame as this is such a serious thread, but there is always one who has to ruin it.........................LOL
 
Dear PF,

Why is it that no matter how much bling my horse or I wear for dressage competitions, our scores don't improve? I thought that with all the money I'm spending on sparkly things judges would DEFINITELY give us better marks...

It's a mystery to me :(

Yours Sincerely,

Dressage diva in despair
 
Digger66 said:
How many easter eggs can my ponio eat without getting colic? And do I need to unwrap it for her? Of course, I kno not to get a cream filled egg, I'm not stupid! However Tesco's think they have a delivery of MyLiklePonio flapjack eggs coming in later this morning.:cool:

Love and kisses,
Pinkan Fluffy
Click to expand...

Dear Pinkan Fluffy
Sorry for my late reply. I hope your horse had loads of fun looking for her easter eggs. You did make her look for them, didn't you? :p

:)
 
Dear PF,
I am new to this horse owning lark, but have been on lots of horse bending courses, have sorted out a kidney(or is that a livery?) but I am confused...
these coloured horsee and ones with spots on their bums but nowhere else...are they proper horses or ones that have been made from parts of others? I work in the motor trade and these creatures look a bit like cut and shut jobs to me. Is that common in the horsey trade too?
 
Ravenwood said:
Dear PF,

I have a problem concerning horses. My current mare (which came to me as dangerous but has turned out to be dope on a rope ;) ) of which I have owned for 6 years has had to unexpectedly be retired due to injury :(

However, I need a horse to ride to exercise all the dogs twice a day (before and after work) ie they follow along ;)

The YO has quite clearly stated that she doesn't wanted anymore horses at the farm so I can't go off and buy another without sorting out the lame, useless one!

What shall I so with the lame, useless one? Put her in foal to a hairy common cob and make a buck from her to fund the cost of a shiny new horse's livery? Send her off to kennels seeing as she is useless and lame? Turn her out on the common and chance her luck with the natives? Sell her loaded up with bute and calmer (she is very good looking after all)?

What do you suggest?

Yours indebtedly
Inna Pickle
Click to expand...
You are indeed in quite a pickle. How about you put her in foal, THEN when you've got the foal you send her off to the knackerman (so you can get a few bob off her) and THEN you sell the foal? Nowadays foals are weaned at a few days and make a ton of money at the sales and any lameness issues he may've inherited will become someone else's problem. Assuming he doesn't go for meat of course... but that's not your problem. On second thoughts; if you get a filly foal keep it and then you can breed MORE little ones and make enough money to buy fags and beer :D
Good luck and feel the huggles :)
 
PapaFrita said:
Dear Pinkan
Sorry for my late reply. I hope your horse had loads of fun looking for her easter eggs. You did make her look for them, didn't you? :p

:)
Click to expand...

She didn't have to look far, I bought all the eggs Tesco had! I was up all night unwrapping them -in the absence of advice from you I decided to be cautious.
I've just got in from talking to the vet, he says my adorable ponio must have tripped over one of the eggs and strained a tendon, but I think he's jealous of the bond between me and my ponio. These professionals think they know every thing don't they.:rolleyes:
Also she must have liked the eggs because she is still very excited and keeps looking at her belly (where she knows the eggs are).:D

PS Do ponios like wedding cake? I don't want her to miss out on the fun on Friday.
 
Last edited:
Dear PapaFrita,
My horse just will not do what I want when I whip it. I've tried all sorts of whips and done some muscle building to get my strength up, what do you recommend I try next?

Weak and feeble rider.
 
Fii said:
Dear PF
Thankyou very much for your help with my previous problem, although the very cross policman would'nt beleive that i had been advised by a professional to put two shetlands in child seats in the back of my rav, and insisted that i travel them in something more apropriat, i had to take them home on the bus. :(

So i have a new problem. :(
A friend of mine told me she bathed her pony the other day, and i would like to bath the shetlands, they are luvely wuvely bundles of fluff, but they do smell a bit..... horsey, so i thought a nice bubble bath would make them smell a bit more........ human, but........
I can't get them to climb up the stairs .
Do i need a staner stair lift. Please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Click to expand...

I've been lobbying the Police Force to incorporate Huggley techniques into their training... it would help them to understand not only the general public, but also the horses and dogs they work with. It makes me sad that the police officer you met was so unreceptive to your superiour understanding. I hope your journey on the bus wasn't too traumatic.
As for your second problem.. Yes, horsey odours are most inconvenient. you really should have a second bathroom installed downstairs and move your the shetlands into your living room for convenience and also so they don't get dirty. Dirt is such a problem :(
 
tinap555 said:
I hope you can help me with a problem I have with my new horse. I bought him 4 months ago, I fell in love with him as he has the most unusual silver stripe along the bottom of his feet. I've noticed lately that this silver stripe is shrinking though, & he's started to walk funny. Could I have bought a horse with some kind of disease? The man I bought him off told me to put some olive oil on his feet to keep the silver shiney, but I forgot 1 day, could this be the problem?? I've scoured the forum to see if anyone else has this problem but can't find anything!
Thanks,
A. Dumbass xx
Click to expand...
The silver strip is sometimes refered to as a 'horse shoe' but this is a misnomer; it is, in fact, an unnatural and hideous form of torture that unenlightened horse owners make their horses endure. Your horse is walking funny for this reason. You should remove the 'shoes' and take a tea-time course in barefoot trimming so you can maintain your horse's feet yourself. You can expect him to be sore for a while before he gets better.
 
magic104 said:
Confused me in one sentence your YO says no new horse & in the 2nd talk of putting said horse in-foal to fund new horse's livery. I think perhaps you are a TROLL, shame as this is such a serious thread, but there is always one who has to ruin it.........................LOL
Click to expand...

It is a sad fact that some people will not take seriously our attempts to enlighten them to the error of their ways, but we must rise above it and continue to be a force in defence of our Huggly Friends... :(
 
CastleMouse said:
Dear PF,

Why is it that no matter how much bling my horse or I wear for dressage competitions, our scores don't improve? I thought that with all the money I'm spending on sparkly things judges would DEFINITELY give us better marks...

It's a mystery to me :(

Yours Sincerely,

Dressage diva in despair
Click to expand...

Have you matched all your accessories, hat and clothing? Is your horse black and very very big? Do you train without a hat? If not, no matter how much you train, your scores will continue to be rubbish. Sorry.
Oh, and you should by my entire collection of DVDs and books at £10599 :)
 
Dear PF,
I must be very cruel, as my horse has a bit in his mouth, and I believe it is very very painful for a horse to have a bit in his mouth especially if it is a french link snaffle. To make matters worse, I may need to put a flash strap on him as we are getting a bit onward bound jumping through enthusiasm - would this make me horrendously cruel?
Do I need to do some games with him to make him respect me?

Sincerely
Toocrueltoride
 
Berpisc said:
Dear PF,
I am new to this horse owning lark, but have been on lots of horse bending courses, have sorted out a kidney(or is that a livery?) but I am confused...
these coloured horsee and ones with spots on their bums but nowhere else...are they proper horses or ones that have been made from parts of others? I work in the motor trade and these creatures look a bit like cut and shut jobs to me. Is that common in the horsey trade too?
Click to expand...
Well the only horses that really matter are the ones that have either splodges or spots. Nothing else is worth their hay, so you must make sure you get one of those. Some horses are indeed cut and shut (very delicate surgery required) but it doesn't matter what they look like because onlookers will be dazzled by their array of colours and think they are beautiful. Good luck and feeeel the Huuuuggles :)
 
Digger66 said:
She didn't have to look far, I bought all the eggs Tesco had! I was up all night unwrapping them -in the absence of advice from you I decided to be cautious.
I've just got in from talking to the vet, he says my adorable ponio must have tripped over one of the eggs and strained a tendon, but I think he's jealous of the bond between me and my ponio. These professionals think they know every thing don't they.:rolleyes:
Also she must have liked the eggs because she is still very excited and keeps looking at her belly (where she knows the eggs are).:D

PS Do ponios like wedding cake? I don't want her to miss out on the fun on Friday.
Click to expand...

I'm glad she enjoyed herself. Sadly vets will tell you whatever it takes to make some money; it IS their living, after all. If you ARE worried you should ask on a forum where no one has financial interests at heart and are all so experienced and knowledgeable.
Wedding cake is a great idea; a varied diet is vital to keep your horse healthy :)
 
amandap said:
Dear PapaFrita,
My horse just will not do what I want when I whip it. I've tried all sorts of whips and done some muscle building to get my strength up, what do you recommend I try next?

Weak and feeble rider.
Click to expand...

*sigh* If you need a whip, you are not weak and feeble, you're just a cr*p rider. Did you watch Badminton yesterday? Every rider had a whip, bunch of losers :(
What you really need is my DVD set and book; Handle your Horse with your Head. It will make a whip and in fact any tack or even training unnecessary and you will be able to ride round Badminton in pure harmony with your horse. Ok, so you may not manage any fences, but that's not what it's about, is it? It's all about being at one with your ponio. Can I also recommend my Huggle Horsemanship Training Kit? It comprises the banana stick and patented ambitextrous control-and-training headcollar/bridle with extra-heavy patented Clunk Click Clip.
Feel the huggles.
 
only_me said:
Dear PF,
I must be very cruel, as my horse has a bit in his mouth, and I believe it is very very painful for a horse to have a bit in his mouth especially if it is a french link snaffle. To make matters worse, I may need to put a flash strap on him as we are getting a bit onward bound jumping through enthusiasm - would this make me horrendously cruel?
Do I need to do some games with him to make him respect me?

Sincerely
Toocrueltoride
Click to expand...

Yes, I'm sorry to say your choice of tack is VERY cruel. In fact, even RIDING your horse, especially in tack, is unnatural and borderline cruel... and as for JUMPING?! The only thing worse than jumping is eventing. And racing.
Immediately desist from riding your horse and turn him away to be 'natural' in a field. It will not be necessary to attend to his feet, worm or give vaccinations.
If you insist on continuing to ride, you must purchase my DVD and book set entitled Huggle Horsemanship; Anything Else is Just Cruel, and also the banana stick and the ambitextrous headcollar/bitless bridle with the extra-heavy Clunk Click Clip.
Good luck and I hope you see the error of your ways soon and find your way to the path of true enlightenment
 
PapaFrita said:
Have you matched all your accessories, hat and clothing? Is your horse black and very very big? Do you train without a hat? If not, no matter how much you train, your scores will continue to be rubbish. Sorry.
Oh, and you should by my entire collection of DVDs and books at £10599 :)
Click to expand...

I wouldn't want to be presumptious and appear to doubt your vastly superior experience and wisdom, but have you considered the importance of wearing matching underwear - for horse and rider? I think this might be a deciding factor.
 
Oh, heck, I haven't got round to riding yet. :o I was trying to get her in and out of the stable and let me brush her. :(

Cheque in the post for your DVD's etc.
 
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