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Dear PF

In the absence of any advice from you regarding what colour matchy matchy I should use on my spotted piebald ex pit pony with 3 brown legs, I found myself left to my own devices and actually bought some pistacio (lime green) accessories, I would have also bought a hat cover, but like all good riders I do not wear a hat. Since buying this set my scores have not improved - not one iota, soooo, obviously it is the wrong colour.

I have discovered that there is now a set in aubergine and wondered what your thoughts would be, should I:

1) Go for the Aubergene?

or

2) Stick with the Pistacio and just add some diamante?

or

3) Wait for your advice on colour co-ordination?

Please please answer quickly as I cannot get my passage right until I am wearing the right colour.


Yours

Passage in waiting
 
Dear PF,

I need your help. People keep telling me that my pony is fat and that I should put a grazing muzzle on him or put him into a starvation field. I think this is very cruel and surely the more he gets fed the more he will love me? As well as being out 24/7 on lots of green grass he only gets two scoops of race mix twice a day (I want him to look as shiny as race horses do) and one scoop of sugar beat twice a day so it's not a lot? I don't ride him as he doesn't like it and he tries to buck me off. Some people are saying some thing about laminitis but I think they're just jealous.

Thanks.

A very worried pony owner
 
But still ... no underwear?! What about covering her, ahem, privates? :eek:

It's ok, all sorted. I've been on line and ordered her a stretch fit wonderhorsebra in apple print and matching (of course) stretch dressage briefs. The pain is I've had to buy matching numnah, boots, girth, rugs, shirt, gloves, haynet and horsebox - cost a fortune. :rolleyes:
Never mind; the more you spend the better the marks, that's what I always say.:cool:
 
It's ok, all sorted. I've been on line and ordered her a stretch fit wonderhorsebra in apple print and matching (of course) stretch dressage briefs. The pain is I've had to buy matching numnah, boots, girth, rugs, shirt, gloves, haynet and horsebox - cost a fortune. :rolleyes:
Never mind; the more you spend the better the marks, that's what I always say.:cool:

Excellent, I'm glad it's all sorted now. :)

I'm sure you'll do brilliantly at dressage now - assuming you've got a matching apple print bra and briefs for yourself?
 
Excellent, I'm glad it's all sorted now. :)

I'm sure you'll do brilliantly at dressage now - assuming you've got a matching apple print bra and briefs for yourself?


Have had matching morag and morass restrainers for sometime now.
Sudden thought - i'll have to get the lingerie fitter on the same routine as the saddler, dentist, chiro, vet - and for the horse as well.
In my research I found that Derby House do a "poni bath robe", do they think we're suckers just waiting to be parted from our money. Hah!
 
Have had matching morag and morass restrainers for sometime now.
Sudden thought - i'll have to get the lingerie fitter on the same routine as the saddler, dentist, chiro, vet - and for the horse as well.
In my research I found that Derby House do a "poni bath robe", do they think we're suckers just waiting to be parted from our money. Hah!

You mean you don't have a bath robe for her yet? :eek: Poor pony. :( What do you put on her once she's taken her swimming costume off? (She does have a swimming costume, right?)
 
You mean you don't have a bath robe for her yet? :eek: Poor pony. :( What do you put on her once she's taken her swimming costume off? (She does have a swimming costume, right?)

A variety of cossies depending on the type of swimming being undertaken and wether she's in salt or fresh water. Then afterwards she goes under the heat lamps and then has an aromatherapy massage and a multivitamin smoothy. You can't take chances you know.
 
PF

May I suggest that it would be most beneficial (indeed gracious of you) to offer to Course-Walk the Huggley Way next Badders?

I feel sure that aside from making others realise the way things SHOULD be done, you might manage to flog rather a lot of banana sticks....

(Ps - I'll be on 10% of what you make, please)
 
Did Mark Todd really win Badders... or did he just buy his way to the top ? I notice all of the screen had his name on them... maybe he just screened himself winning ?
 
You are indeed in quite a pickle. How about you put her in foal, THEN when you've got the foal you send her off to the knackerman (so you can get a few bob off her) and THEN you sell the foal? Nowadays foals are weaned at a few days and make a ton of money at the sales and any lameness issues he may've inherited will become someone else's problem. Assuming he doesn't go for meat of course... but that's not your problem. On second thoughts; if you get a filly foal keep it and then you can breed MORE little ones and make enough money to buy fags and beer :D
Good luck and feel the huggles :)

Now, why on earth didn't I think of that?!! :eek:

In just a few short years I will be a mill-yon-air !! :D

Thank you PF for your amazing insight :)

Yours, not-so-Inna-Pickle-now xx
 
Confused me in one sentence your YO says no new horse & in the 2nd talk of putting said horse in-foal to fund new horse's livery. I think perhaps you are a TROLL, shame as this is such a serious thread, but there is always one who has to ruin it.........................LOL

:eek: :eek: :eek:

It is a sad fact that some people will not take seriously our attempts to enlighten them to the error of their ways, but we must rise above it and continue to be a force in defence of our Huggly Friends... :(

Oh NO - I have been rumbled :(

I apologise and am not worthy or your words of wisdom :o

I will take my tolledness away, so long, fair well and good luck in your endeavour to enlighten horse owners across the world xx
 
Dear PF
I have just won a little event what I entered on my grey horsy. I was so pleased as I am getting on a bit and have had a bit of time off.
Now it seems that I have done the wrong thing by smacking said grey horsy to get him to focus on a fricking great log that had broken neck written all over it. He jumped it just fine but lots of VERY KNOWLEDGEABLE PEOPLE are well cross with me, PF.
Should I hand the trophy back do you think? Or are they just slightly less bright than the log?
Hanging on your every word.
M*** T***
 
PF

May I suggest that it would be most beneficial (indeed gracious of you) to offer to Course-Walk the Huggley Way next Badders?

I feel sure that aside from making others realise the way things SHOULD be done, you might manage to flog rather a lot of banana sticks....

(Ps - I'll be on 10% of what you make, please)

I would be willing to escort the riders on their course walks. I think they would benefit hugely from my Huggly-Know-How. I'm confident I can also convince them to ride without those horrible 'whip' things and with my brand-new, shortened Exercise Banana Stick.
You can have 1% ;)
 
Did Mark Todd really win Badders... or did he just buy his way to the top ? I notice all of the screen had his name on them... maybe he just screened himself winning ?

I suspect he did buy his way to the top; loads of dinners , parties etc, to ingratiate himself to event organisers, fence judges, owners, vets, etc.... quite hard work but it does mean that he doesn't actually have to put any work into the horses... It's not about THAT at all, is it??? ;)
I think he probably paid off a hacker to fiddle the screens at Badders...
 
Dear PF
I have just won a little event what I entered on my grey horsy. I was so pleased as I am getting on a bit and have had a bit of time off.
Now it seems that I have done the wrong thing by smacking said grey horsy to get him to focus on a fricking great log that had broken neck written all over it. He jumped it just fine but lots of VERY KNOWLEDGEABLE PEOPLE are well cross with me, PF.
Should I hand the trophy back do you think? Or are they just slightly less bright than the log?
Hanging on your every word.
M*** T***
Dear M ;)
I was very sorry. to see you smack your lovely horse. If you recall, on our course walk I told you when to huggle your horse forwards and when to retire. It is unfortunate that you disregarded my advice in view of your 40 odd years of experience and numerous team places and wins at international events, but I'm very relieved you both made it through to the next day and that your lovely boy rose to the occasion despite your awful judgement on the XC, to give you your fourth win.
I have to tell you at this point that on Sun evening I used my mind to convey Huggly Healing messages to your horse so he was able to overcome his exhaustion and aches and pains.
Bill's in the post ;)
 
Dear M ;)
I was very sorry. to see you smack your lovely horse. If you recall, on our course walk I told you when to huggle your horse forwards and when to retire. It is unfortunate that you disregarded my advice in view of your 40 odd years of experience and numerous team places and wins at international events, but I'm very relieved you both made it through to the next day and that your lovely boy rose to the occasion despite your awful judgement on the XC, to give you your fourth win.
I have to tell you at this point that on Sun evening I used my mind to convey Huggly Healing messages to your horse so he was able to overcome his exhaustion and aches and pains.
Bill's in the post ;)

I am now in helpless fits of laughter. You deserve a column, you do. It would be the best bit!
 
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