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Dear PF

One of my horses is quite fat. Someone says it is because I never ride her, but I love her too much to be cruel to her.

I was wondering....to save money this autum, would it be ok to not bother worming her for tapeworm? I was thinking also that this might make her lose weight rather than me having to bother my arse riding and/or lunging her? Its just that I find doing horse stuff a bit smelly and dirty - I prefer looking over the stable door if I am completely honest.

If you could answer ASAP ...my YO is demanding I should worm her but if I can print off some of your most excellent advice to show her that would be great.:D

CantBeArsed (CBA)
 
WHISKEYMAC said:
dEar PF,
hope you can help. wE r a familey of 5(wife and 3 lovley but large kids). wE wonted to find a horse 4 me and my wife 2 ride and the kids to feed polos and carrots all weekends and holidays by hand so it got frienley wiv us. wE went to a dealer pimpmyhorse.com i think it was. vEry nice man who had all 6 of his horses in a mickanical round pen 4 when we arrived(think he called it a bob o walker. wE pick out one he called F B think it was short for flippin beautie. hE waz so kind that he lunjed it for a least 1/2 an hour so we could realley sea it move. i Decided to ride it as i had the most expearience(used to ride donkies on skeggie beach all through summer holidays when i was a kid). iT was very sweaty when i got on him so only did a medium walk on a loose rain. wE asked the kind man how much he said £8000 4 cash but that wud go up next week as it wud be more better schooled. wE did not have F B vetted as so expensive(£80 2 put the dog down coz we were getting a horse) any way my wife has read 2 books about horses so she new wot we were lookin 4.
i Now need some answers if you can help
1. F B chews the door and sucks in air. sHall i put chilli sauce on top of the door?
2. he moves his head from side 2 side. tHe man sed he did this at feed times but he seems to do it all the time now. dO i stand at 1 side of his box and clout him when his head cums my way?
3. He has like a wart near his ear, the nice man said it was like a teen age spot and wud go but it has got bigger. sHall i get 1 of my dawters hare bobbels and put it round tite so the bllod dus not get 2 it?
4. when i try 2 hack him F B only goes about 500 yards then wants 2 cum back home also he is fritened in traffic. i have a mate with an artic lorry shall i tie him to it and get hime to pull next to it and how long shud it take to get used to it 2,3,4 hours?
5.i bought a do ally head coller off ebaythe one with heavy buckle, i thought i could ride him in it as well so i wud not have 2 go in to the exspence of buying 1 of those metal things to go in his mouth but he is nervous when i go to put it on.shud i show him that i am an alfa-A male and crack him with the buckel end before i try it on?
6. when my sun(6 year old) goes in the stabul F B tries to kick him. do i get Kevin to kick him first so he knows not to do it?
7. i like the idea of the bannana stick. do i waft it round head or do i get my wife to ram it up his ar** to make him respond to my aids?
8. with the price of hay i have been feeding grass cuttings(not that daft,have limited him to 6 scoops a day) along side his competion mix. is this enough or cud i give him more?

please send me the box set of dvd's as am stuck 4 xmas pressies for my wife and kids
kind regrets your beloved new disciple Wayne John Smiths :)
Click to expand...

Hi and congratulations on your new purchase, he sounds lovely. No need to get the horse vetted; it's just a money-making ruse anyway.
To answer your first question; Yes, you can put chilli on the door and the hotter the better. You could also put some barbed wire on as well; that'll be doubly effective.
2. Your horse is dancing. It's so cute when they do that!! Get him on Britain's Got Talent ASAP!!
3. That wart is called a 'sarcoid'. If you squeeze it very hard it'll pop just like a zit and problem solved.
4, Yes. 4 hours is about right
5. You need my special patented left handed headcollar which you can also ride in. It has extra heavy buckles so if your horse is naughty you can smack him in the face with it; show him whose boss!!
6. Tell Kevin to creep into the stable VERY quietly, preferably when ponio is having a nap. He should then blow a foghorn and yell "Wake up you dozy ****!!" and kick him very hard. Kevin will probably get kicked back, but it'll be worth it as your horse will respect you afterwards.
7. All of those things. Preferably simultaneously. The bananastick will also work on your wife and kids should they step out of line.
8. Grass cuttings are fine. You can also feed yew and snapdragons and ragwort.

Sending you my complete set of DVDs plus a bonus DVD of me singing Christmas carols with VVVAgner. Tracks featured are Good King Bananastick and Away in a Bananastick. Enjoy!!
 
SirenaXVI said:
Dear PF

I am having trouble with my horse, he is 17.3 and I am 4ft 9. He is very bad tempered in the stable and keeps biting me which really really hurts. I tried some inhand stuff but that did not really work so I thought it would be a good idea to give him some more work to do so I have started to pessoa him and he is brilliant at it, however I thought I would also ride him and he was very good to tack up but when I got on he turned into a bucking bronco!

I have had his back, teeth and saddle checked.

I cannot turn him out as he is too big for the other horses but he does not seem to mind as he has never been turned out with others.

I cannot understand why he is being like this, he was such a lovely foal and we would spend hours playing in the field, mock fighting when he was little:confused:

Should I try a calmer?

He turned 2 this year and I am at my wits end, please help!

Yours in anticipation


Lonelybraincell





This would be funny but it was a genuine question asked of me, person concerned wanted advice :eek:
Click to expand...
Not surprised! It has that ring of authenticity!! Anyhooo, this is MY advice;
You definitely need to sedate him or at the very least give him a sharp knock to the head to daze him a bit. Don't worry about not turning him out; horses don't really mind being indoors all day. especially if you feed him loads of oats and barley. Some people will tell you that they need to walk miles and miles a day, but don't listen to them; they're just jealous.
How good of you to play with your foal; it's so cuttte when they learn to bite and kick like that!!
You can also buy my DVD set; How to Bribe My Horse into Loving me :) only £14,000
 
WoopsiiD said:
Dear PF

I have just bought my daughter a pony for Christmas. I think its a looker and has great breeding potential!

503x.jpg


At the moment it is in the conservatory at Nanny and Grandads house. They are a bit worried as it is lying down a lot.

Should they have given it water?

Also, daughter is 7 and want's to ride at Badminton. Will she have to pay as she is a minor? We are sure the pony is capable-if it gets up again-as it jumped over the sofa to get away from the dog.

Yours

PushyPonyClubMum
Click to expand...
What a gorgeous pony and what a great idea to keep in the conservatory; with a bit of practice you can get him to poo on the plants, saving yourself that job! Don't worry about him lying down a lot; he's doing it because he's feeling at ease and comfortable.
I'm sure your daughter is more than capable of geting to Badminton, but it'll probably be 2012 rather than 2011- Hey, how about the Olympics!!!!
Ponies don't need water as they're about 70% water already :)
 
hackedoff said:
my pony is 21 years old and I have never jumped him. A lady on my yard says that all ponys will know how to jump upright and spread fences and as he is a welsh cob I should not that he is able to jump 5 foot by 5 foot by now*. So why did he refuse to jump when i tried to do this height last night last night?

*this was said to me as a genuine piece of advice...
Click to expand...

Only thoroughbreds know how to jump from the start. Cobs only know how to eat and poop. I'd sell him (or give him to a rescue home- no need to vet) and get yourself a proper horse :p
 
Dear PF,
I've got a 6 month old cob and my YO says I should start riding him now before he gets too big which I totally agree with. If you ask me people are too fond of mollycoddling horses leaving them hanging about til they're 3 and 4 years old and then they wonder why it takes so long to train them up right. I will be backing him myself because I am the lightest one on the yard, I weight 20 stone, but it's ok because my cob is really big boned.

Anyway, we want him to work long and low from the start and we thought we'd encourage him to put his head down by leaving a trail of food in the school for him to follow once I am on him and I wondered whether you thought donuts or cheeseburgers would be a better for this?

Thanks!
AlwaysRight
 
Dear PF,
I do hope you will be publishing details of your reasonably priced nationwide tour. I have a loading problem for your demonstration; I can't get my horse in the new lorry he just won't stand still on the tail lift. Would a banana stick help or hobbles or maybe dispense with the tail lift and use a trampoline?
 
Dear PF,

I don't think my pony likes his shoes. When he takes them off, he looses them and we can never find them again.
I was thinking about getting him some pink, patent (so they match my wellies) kitten heels but am a bit worried in case he gets upset cos they're pink (he's a boy horse). What do you think?

Thank you,

Bubbles.
 
Dear PF
I recently bought a stunning heavyweight red and white cob from the market. She is starting to charge me in the field. I wondered if I should do some groundwork with her and maybe some joinup? She has large sandcracks in all feet, but I am assured these will grow out, given a supplement of biotin. At what point should I attach the leadrope to her nosering to push her backwards, before or after my hospital visit? What would you advise?
ps., the hair on her chest and face is becoming curly and I wonder if she is developing pillows disease?

Yours Katie Strangely-Brown
 
Last edited:
Most of these replies are modern claptrap. In my day there was not problem that couldn't be solved by a bran mash, a good strapping with a wisp, or tying the head down with a tight standing martingale. Sorted.
Maud Ponsonby-Smythe
 
poppymoo said:
Dear PF

One of my horses is quite fat. Someone says it is because I never ride her, but I love her too much to be cruel to her.

I was wondering....to save money this autum, would it be ok to not bother worming her for tapeworm? I was thinking also that this might make her lose weight rather than me having to bother my arse riding and/or lunging her? Its just that I find doing horse stuff a bit smelly and dirty - I prefer looking over the stable door if I am completely honest.

If you could answer ASAP ...my YO is demanding I should worm her but if I can print off some of your most excellent advice to show her that would be great.:D

CantBeArsed (CBA)
Click to expand...
Oh. My. God. Some people can be so cruel!! Of course you shouldn't ride your horse; it's not natural. Lunging isn't natural either. Don't do it!!
Your YO is just jealous and that's why she's hassling you about worming your mare. Worming is neither natural nor necessary. Worms are like measels; once they've had them once they don't get them again. If you're not sure if your mare has had worms then hold a french fancy up near her bottom, yell "Come and get iiiiiit" in a very loud voice and watch her bottom to see if any worms poke their heads out to see what's for dinner. If they do then you can squash them and if they don't then clearly she hasn't got worms.
 
skint1 said:
Dear PF,
I've got a 6 month old cob and my YO says I should start riding him now before he gets too big which I totally agree with. If you ask me people are too fond of mollycoddling horses leaving them hanging about til they're 3 and 4 years old and then they wonder why it takes so long to train them up right. I will be backing him myself because I am the lightest one on the yard, I weight 20 stone, but it's ok because my cob is really big boned.

Anyway, we want him to work long and low from the start and we thought we'd encourage him to put his head down by leaving a trail of food in the school for him to follow once I am on him and I wondered whether you thought donuts or cheeseburgers would be a better for this?

Thanks!
AlwaysRight
Click to expand...
Yes, definitely start riding as soon as you can and before he gets strong enough to buck you off. He should be small enough for you to pin him down with your feet still in the stirrups.
Well done for not succuming to social pressure and keeping a healthy weight and yes, good idea to work long and low; use the cheeseburgers as you'll need the donuts to keep your strength up! Good luck!
 
Am I right?

I have a 5 year old welsh pony who lives out 24/7 (it's natural) and try to give him as natural life as possible. I don't have a lot of land so I keep him on my back garden but the grass seems to have gone (naturally). It's obviously working as he's getting racing fit as I can see every one of his ribs and his hip bones are well defined. Someone told me that I should give him some extra feed but surely this is not natural (After all they wouldn't get barley and oats on the welsh mountains would they) and that I should have his feet trimmed and worm him and possibly have a vet look at the huge lump on his belly that has yellow gunk coming out of it but I think that the natural way is better and don't want to load his system with chemicals. When I ride him he seems very slow and no longer keeps up with the hunt so do you think I should carry a banana stick when riding him to make him go faster?

Thanks

Naturalidiotic
 
Fellewell said:
Dear PF,
I do hope you will be publishing details of your reasonably priced nationwide tour. I have a loading problem for your demonstration; I can't get my horse in the new lorry he just won't stand still on the tail lift. Would a banana stick help or hobbles or maybe dispense with the tail lift and use a trampoline?
Click to expand...
The World-wide Tour will be kicking off at HOYS where coincidentally I shall be loading a difficult horse with nothing more than my patented left-handed headcollar, lunge-line with extra-heavy clip and a bananastick. No cameras will be allowed as some people just don't understand my Huggly Horsemanship philosophy and will be shocked when I wrap the lungeline around the horse's legs, flip him like a steer and drag him on with a tractor.They just don't GET it? Can you believe that???
I like the idea of the trampoline! Good thinking! I believe you have a natural talent for Huggly Horsemanship. I can help you develop those skills with one of my training days at a very reasonable £54,000!
 
City Mare said:
Dear PF,

I don't think my pony likes his shoes. When he takes them off, he looses them and we can never find them again.
I was thinking about getting him some pink, patent (so they match my wellies) kitten heels but am a bit worried in case he gets upset cos they're pink (he's a boy horse). What do you think?

Thank you,

Bubbles.
Click to expand...
Dear Bubbles
Your ponio doesn't like shoes because they're not natural! Kitten heels are definitely the way forward, but they must match his rugs and headcollar, buckets, etc. If he's a proper man then he won't be embarrassed by wearing pink
 
Tass said:
Most of these replies are modern claptrap. In my day there was not problem that couldn't be solved by a bran mash, a good strapping with a wisp, or tying the head down with a tight standing martingale. Sorted.
Maud Ponsonby-Smythe
Click to expand...
If the handler follows these good old fashioned tips before approaching their horse, PPFs Huggly Horsemanship becomes so much clearer;)
 
Dear PF,

I am HORRIFIED by the standard of riding I see nowadays, especially the riding done by anyone who stoops so low as to actually compete on their horses, and most especially by the DEVILS who ride internationally. In fact, no one has ever ridden correctly since Xenophon passed away. Equestrianism has been in freefall since the 4th century BC.

Luckily, I have seen the light. I've been in contact with Xenophon on the other side. He's learned English, which shows how much of a genius he is as it didn't exist when he was alive, and he speaks to me directly. He is telling me that I must save the tortured competition horses and free them from their dreadful lives. I am a living guru and spend all of my time on internet chatrooms telling all the horrible people who compete their horses how EVIL and ABUSIVE they are, and how I and only I know the way to the light. If they come and have lessons with me, I will cause their horses to sprout wings and fly. And they will see the EVIL of all other riding. Because Xenophon speaks to me. Don't you know. As does Gerd Heuschmann. Although I'm not hearing him so much since those embarrassing photos.....

Please tell me how I can spread the WORD of Xenophon across the world and enjoy the profits of enlightenment. And stop all those people who actually hold the reins when they ride - the cruel evil horse torturers!
 
Achinghips said:
Dear PF
I recently bought a stunning heavyweight red and white cob from the market. She is starting to charge me in the field. I wondered if I should do some groundwork with her and maybe some joinup? She has large sandcracks in all feet, but I am assured these will grow out, given a supplement of biotin. At what point should I attach the leadrope to her nosering to push her backwards, before or after my hospital visit? What would you advise?
ps., the hair on her chest and face is becoming curly and I wonder if she is developing pillows disease?

Yours Katie Strangely-Brown
Click to expand...
Dear Katie Stangely Orange
Congratulations on your purchase!! It would appear that your mare is attempting to join up (I prefer to call it by my trademarked name; Grapple up) already! You must allow her to explore her relationship with you and not rebuke her or punish her in any way. She may knock you over and trample you, but once you've picked yourself up and the hoofmarks on your back have faded you will have achieved a unique relationship with your lovely mare!
You're quite right that the sandcracks will grow out naturally; there is no need for a farrier (money-spinning ruse!)
The hair on your mare's chest is caused by a condition called Cushions. Cushions is like measels; your horse will have it once and then never again. No need to call a vet. Vets are only in it for the money!
 
Tass said:
Most of these replies are modern claptrap. In my day there was not problem that couldn't be solved by a bran mash, a good strapping with a wisp, or tying the head down with a tight standing martingale. Sorted.
Maud Ponsonby-Smythe
Click to expand...

Dear Maud...just because you don't understand, you shouldn't knock it. I couldn't possibly explain the intricacies of Huggle Horsemanship on this thread, but if you come on one of my training courses (£60,000 a day) you will be enlighted and thank me for it afterwards. Keep the faith! :)
 
PapaFrita said:
Dear Katie Stangely Orange
Congratulations on your purchase!! It would appear that your mare is attempting to join up (I prefer to call it by my trademarked name; Grapple up) already! You must allow her to explore her relationship with you and not rebuke her or punish her in any way. She may knock you over and trample you, but once you've picked yourself up and the hoofmarks on your back have faded you will have achieved a unique relationship with your lovely mare!
You're quite right that the sandcracks will grow out naturally; there is no need for a farrier (money-spinning ruse!)
The hair on your mare's chest is caused by a condition called Cushions. Cushions is like measels; your horse will have it once and then never again. No need to call a vet. Vets are only in it for the money!
Click to expand...


Katie Orange, I jusy wanted to ask, does your horse have a strange neigh?
 
blitznbobs said:
Am I right?

I have a 5 year old welsh pony who lives out 24/7 (it's natural) and try to give him as natural life as possible. I don't have a lot of land so I keep him on my back garden but the grass seems to have gone (naturally). It's obviously working as he's getting racing fit as I can see every one of his ribs and his hip bones are well defined. Someone told me that I should give him some extra feed but surely this is not natural (After all they wouldn't get barley and oats on the welsh mountains would they) and that I should have his feet trimmed and worm him and possibly have a vet look at the huge lump on his belly that has yellow gunk coming out of it but I think that the natural way is better and don't want to load his system with chemicals. When I ride him he seems very slow and no longer keeps up with the hunt so do you think I should carry a banana stick when riding him to make him go faster?

Thanks

Naturalidiotic
Click to expand...
You're quite right to keep it natural and are doing all the right things. Not necessary to have him wormed or his feet trimmed as this is not natural nor should you get the vet as this is not natural either (and it's a money-spinning ruse) At a push you could trim his feet yourself after an afternoon of tea and cake with an authorised barefoot guru. A bananastick when riding is a very good idea as this is the best way to achieve Grapple Up and oneness with your horse.
 
Dear PF, I have recently brought myself an ex-racehorse to be my competition horse, she cost a lot of money (£500!) so obviously I expect her to be good. 'Cos she is a competition horse I keep her stabled 24/7 as obviously she would go loony in the field! She used to live out all the time after she finished racing (apparently she was injured but she looks fine to me) anyway now she is being ridden she doesn't need to go out does she? I ride her a few times a week, when I can be bothered. The trouble is she is a right nutter, I think it must be because she's a chesnut mare. I feed her 3 scoops of oats, 2 of barley and one of whole maize 4 times a day like you are meant to. She must be really lazy as quite often she just lies on the floor groaning but then she looks at her belly to say she's still hungry so I feed her a bit more.

When I ride her she is really wierd, when I kick her with my legs she tries to run away so I put her in a dutch gag on the bottom hole like my instructor said, trouble is then she gets quite lazy and doesn't want to move, so I bought these special western spurs with rowels on ('cos they look really cool) and use them on her, but sometimes this makes her even naughtier and she tries to buck me off, so my instructor said to put her in draw reins all the time so she can't get away with it. I know it is not my riding as I have been riding two months at a riding school on cob ponies and my instructor said if you can ride them you can ride anythink. Plus I've fallen off seven times already so that makes me a really good rider. 'Cos my mare is such a nutter I think I should get her a calmer, which do you recommend? I want to take her round badminton next year but apparently you're not allowed to jump in draw reins there, do you know a way I can get round this?

Thanks
 
WoopsiiD said:
Dear PF

I have just bought my daughter a pony for Christmas. I think its a looker and has great breeding potential!

503x.jpg


At the moment it is in the conservatory at Nanny and Grandads house. They are a bit worried as it is lying down a lot.

Should they have given it water?

Also, daughter is 7 and want's to ride at Badminton. Will she have to pay as she is a minor? We are sure the pony is capable-if it gets up again-as it jumped over the sofa to get away from the dog.

Yours

PushyPonyClubMum
Click to expand...

Wow - this is exactly what we're looking for 4 the kidz xmas (see my post last night). it would look so cute done up in tinsell with a big red bow round its neck. The kidz wud love it. Do you think one that size would carry my 2 14 stone kidz - they wud both have to ride it at the same time of course or there wud be tearz n' snotterz?
 
Dear PF

Please help I am sooooooooooooooo worried. I saw on an internet forum that if my pony is plaited then he will be stolen.

I live in the middle of nowhere up a long farm track, I have 4 equines. 2 are fit well bred eventers, 1 is an ex event pony, now a broodmare in foal to a lovely stallion, the fourth is a small hairy Squeaky thing, he has a long mane and tail and is really difficult to catch (unless he likes you!!!!!!!!!!!!). Today it has been pretty wild and windy here and the Squeaky thing has some tangly plaits in his mane. Surely this means that someone has been into my fields that are outside my house and got past my 3 guard dogs and plaited his mane, they must love small Squeaky ponies much more that fit well bred eventers.

What should I do?????????

thanks

i'msoworriedcozhehasplaits
 
Dear PF

On that very subject of vets being in it for the money, I have found that Googling the complaint and then asking on a Forum I have found (Nag&Dog Online) always gets me the answers for free! Mostly I don't need to call a vet - unless the horse lies down and won't get up or stops breathing - nobody was on The Forum that morning, so I had to wait til after lunch til I got a reply. Anyway I saved a huge vet bill and just buried my horse in the garden that time. And the chemist sells most stuff you need to treat them with anyway, or you can ask if your elderly relatives have any drugs hanging around for the more dodgy complaints, like cushions and laminitus. You can put garlic and toothpaste on most things - works wonders in conjunction with remote healing by photograph (any photograph will do).

Lardydahdiarse

P.S. I think we are kindred spirits on a similar wavelength now.
 
Dear PF

My international event horse is rolling around in his stable AGAIN, it makes such a mess of his lovely bed!

He seems to do this 3 or 4 times a week and sometimes he scrapes himself on the concrete floor silly boy. He gets so excited he sweats buckets!

Someone said I should call the vet but I thought I would ask people on the forum what I should do ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh hang on a minute..........................................


















Damn he has now knocked over his water bucket, or at least I think he has - he is absolutely soaking:eek: He must be excited as he has left his flapjacks uneaten again :rolleyes:

Anyway, how can I stop this happening?


Moronwithahorse
 
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