Rude/thoughtless things people say . . .

kellybee

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(after Alfie dragged me in from the field one night regardless of whether I was in the way or on the end of the lead rope at the time) Fellow livery: I never liked him, he's never liked you. That thing needs a good hiding or a bullet in it's head.

In truth he's really insecure, was turned out half a mile from the yard and was the last one in by about an hour. It was windy, muddy, the YO hadn't put him any hay out and he was cold/by himself/hungry and nervy.

Sharer (who's really nice, just not very tactful! whilst trying to fasten Alfie's noseband); God I can't stand tack that's so well looked after you can't get the buckles undone. It's like one of those things I really wish people wouldn't do. Where's the need for it?
 

suffolkmare

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Back to topic, sort of. It's not just horsey folk. After 40+ years longing/lessons/loaning I bought my lovely Welsh (NF?)x last year to share with my daughter. On telling my anti-horse mother, she told me it would be the worst mistake of my life. When she started to get used to the idea and asked what colour he was, I said dark bay, and she replied that at least he was a sensible colour! I think grudging acceptance is the most I can hope for::rolleyes:
 

micramadam

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Horsesatemymoney - a taster for later!

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Gypley

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I HATE it when people make fun of my girls roman nose! I get all 'mother hen' and feel like covering her ears and telling her mummy thinks she's beautiful.

Its silly I know, but I wouldn't poke fun at somomes child! Don't do it to my horse!! She CAN understand!
 

Holding

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If I had a yard, and you were working on it and said something like that about my client's horse (2 times!) you'd have been having a right good laugh down the jobcentre! So rude. Why would you laugh about somebody who is proud of their (older) horse? Or their heavyweight cob? You sound like just the sort of person who ruins peoples' enjoyment of their horses, and must be very insecure.

Heh, not especially insecure, no. :D I find it hard to believe that nobody on this thread has ever said something thoughtless and unkind. I hear people say much nastier things on a daily basis - maybe I just speak to the wrong people! I did feel genuinely bad about the woman with the older horse though, because he was a sweetheart, never going to be a dressage star but fab for his owner and would jump anything. And as for the cob - as I said, turned out he was worth a damn sight more than my warmblood, so I doubt me having a giggle bothered the owner much!
 

BigYellowHorse

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When I bought my little sec a and I was told by my brothers other half that she didn't like him at all and he had a horrible canter. I replied she had obviously been around eventers for far too long.

People are nasty especially when they start a hate campaign all over Facebook about you and your horse because you invited them to ride and share your horse as they said they were very experienced and fell off within minutes pf getting on.. on top of that the most crooked horse person in the area comments 'never met her but think she's strange' .. how anyone with a single brain cell between their ears say such thing - happy if people want to call me strange but at least meet me before making your decision!
 

Orls

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I find it hard to believe that nobody on this thread has ever said something thoughtless and unkind. I hear people say much nastier things on a daily basis - maybe I just speak to the wrong people!

I bitch and moan and gossip all the time .... But only to hubby in the car on the way home from the yard when I'm needing to vent! I would never laugh at someone or make a comment to their face and I can say that, hand on heart completely truthfully because I make an enormous effort to be polite and positive all the time. I think that comes from years working in the horse industry and having it drummed into me by my employers that customers should always be treated with respect and in a helpful, considerate manner.
 

Doormouse

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I'm still trying to decide if this one was rude or just thoughtless......

Had a friend to stay last week and when she arrived I was still in my yard clothes (jogging bottoms and fleece, not pretty but perfect for shovelling ****) and she greeted me with a rather sarcastic "You look nice!"

Fast forward 2 days to the morning she is leaving and she announces that she is going lambing that afternoon so she says " When I get home I'll need to find some really disgusting clothes to wear for it, rather like the ones you were wearing when I got here". :eek:

Don't think she'll be coming again!
 

Moomin1

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Heh, not especially insecure, no. :D I find it hard to believe that nobody on this thread has ever said something thoughtless and unkind. I hear people say much nastier things on a daily basis - maybe I just speak to the wrong people! I did feel genuinely bad about the woman with the older horse though, because he was a sweetheart, never going to be a dressage star but fab for his owner and would jump anything. And as for the cob - as I said, turned out he was worth a damn sight more than my warmblood, so I doubt me having a giggle bothered the owner much!

So you base whether someone's beloved horse deserves laughing at nastily or not, on their value? That's the way it comes across. I take it if that horse had been worth £500 then it would have been ok to potentially really upset someone?
 

Jesstickle

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Heh, not especially insecure, no. :D I find it hard to believe that nobody on this thread has ever said something thoughtless and unkind. I hear people say much nastier things on a daily basis - maybe I just speak to the wrong people! I did feel genuinely bad about the woman with the older horse though, because he was a sweetheart, never going to be a dressage star but fab for his owner and would jump anything. And as for the cob - as I said, turned out he was worth a damn sight more than my warmblood, so I doubt me having a giggle bothered the owner much!

Of course you aren't. You were just the only person silly enough to admit it on HHO, home of the most perfect posters in posterity ;)

I have said many an unkind thing in my yoof and (when in a bad mood) I still do it now sometimes. No, I'm not proud of it and yes, I should try harder not to let my tongue loose but I'm not going to lie and say I've never done it. I'd never set out to be cruel or say it so it could be overheard but I'm sure I have.

I am utterly tactless most of the time really! :(
 

JFTDWS

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Of course you aren't. You were just the only person silly enough to admit it on HHO, home of the most perfect posters in posterity ;)

I have said many an unkind thing in my yoof and (when in a bad mood) I still do it now sometimes. No, I'm not proud of it and yes, I should try harder not to let my tongue loose but I'm not going to lie and say I've never done it.

I've said loooooooads of things about people / horses on the edge of the ring / other liveries / to friends etc - never rudely to their face (though if asked / given the opportunity I wil say honestly anything I think is really important) or intentionally bitchily :eek:
 

Cinnamontoast

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To be fair to me, it was a little incongruous amongst all the big warmbloods.

As was pointed out to me the day I bought my cob and I was on a big BSJA yard full of warmbloods. My Hanoverian had just been PTS. :( Somebody went past and said '(insert the nasty word for traveller) horse'. I didn't stay on that yard much longer. I think it's disgusting to slag off someone else's precious horse. You make yourself look a fool and/or jealous. Strikes me as deeply immature.
 

horsesatemymoney

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I bitch and moan and gossip all the time .... But only to hubby in the car on the way home from the yard when I'm needing to vent! I would never laugh at someone or make a comment to their face and I can say that, hand on heart completely truthfully because I make an enormous effort to be polite and positive all the time. I think that comes from years working in the horse industry and having it drummed into me by my employers that customers should always be treated with respect and in a helpful, considerate manner.

^ This. It's not about being sanctimonious (which I can't even spell!) it's just about thinking how I'd feel if it were me on the receiving end of a comment. And, I'd put the total value of my cob (£600!) on betting that those who believe in 'telling it like it is' would be the most affronted if they heard somebody mocking their horse.
 

kerrieberry2

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my mare cut herself quite badly on a new fence that was put up, so I brought both mares in and put them in a stable whilst waiting for a vet to arrive, they weren't happy being in so I gave them some hi fi to keep them quiet! when some mongrel woman and her daughter walked passed and laughed whilst making comments about "people who feed their horses when they don't even ride!"

weird, coz I did ride a lot and didn't feed normally!

Jealously is a horrible trait
 

horsesatemymoney

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As was pointed out to me the day I bought my cob and I was on a big BSJA yard full of warmbloods. My Hanoverian had just been PTS. :( Somebody went past and said '(insert the nasty word for traveller) horse'. I didn't stay on that yard much longer. I think it's disgusting to slag off someone else's precious horse. You make yourself look a fool and/or jealous. Strikes me as deeply immature.

And this ^. Everybody has a favourite type of horse or whatever, and just because you might not personally want to own somebody else's, doesn't mean you need to tell them/be cruel about the horse. Each to their own.
 

Moomin1

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Of course you aren't. You were just the only person silly enough to admit it on HHO, home of the most perfect posters in posterity ;)

I have said many an unkind thing in my yoof and (when in a bad mood) I still do it now sometimes. No, I'm not proud of it and yes, I should try harder not to let my tongue loose but I'm not going to lie and say I've never done it. I'd never set out to be cruel or say it so it could be overheard but I'm sure I have.

I am utterly tactless most of the time really! :(

Well, I say plenty of unkind things about people but generally things that I would quite happily say to their face if they were to ask me, and I do speak my mind when it comes to matters surrounding welfare or when things are affecting other people or animals in a negative way. However, to laugh in someone's face when they unload their cob onto a dressage yard, only then to stop laughing when they realise the value is above their own horse, strikes me as shockingly shallow. I can quite honestly say I have never done that. I have made remarks to other people about how 'ugly' or unpleasing to the eye some horses are, and make no qualms to say that I am not keen on gypsy type cobs, or coloureds. But I certainly wouldn't aim the comments at the owner's of such, by laughing in their face. How cruel. :(
 

Holding

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So you base whether someone's beloved horse deserves laughing at nastily or not, on their value? That's the way it comes across. I take it if that horse had been worth £500 then it would have been ok to potentially really upset someone?

Oh dear, I think this might have been blown out of proportion! I didn't point and hoot, I just had a little giggle as he walked off the trailer. Then the owner and I had a chat about him, and no feelings were hurt. I only mention his value because the joke ended up being on me when it turned out he was very expensive. I promise there was no full blown bullying involved!

Anyway, before the tarring and feathering begins, I would like to back down gracefully. Cobs are people too, it's not the size of the feathers that counts but the size of the heart, zip-a-dee-doo-dah and all that. I shall now retreat gracefully to hide behind my warmblood (who hates cobs - I suspect he might be jealous and/or immature). :D
 

Moomin1

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Oh dear, I think this might have been blown out of proportion! I didn't point and hoot, I just had a little giggle as he walked off the trailer. Then the owner and I had a chat about him, and no feelings were hurt. I only mention his value because the joke ended up being on me when it turned out he was very expensive. I promise there was no full blown bullying involved!

Anyway, before the tarring and feathering begins, I would like to back down gracefully. Cobs are people too, it's not the size of the feathers that counts but the size of the heart, zip-a-dee-doo-dah and all that. I shall now retreat gracefully to hide behind my warmblood (who hates cobs - I suspect he might be jealous and/or immature). :D

Ah right. So you didn't 'laugh in their face' then at all? You just had a 'little giggle to yourself.

This sort of thing makes me sooo glad I am on a small private yard.
 

micramadam

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Let me be the first to say I am far from perfect but I was brought up to respect other people's property and other people's feelings. Maybe I am in the minority now. :(
Remember the old saying "walk a mile in the other man's shoes".
I hope that I have managed to pass this onto my daughter.
With age comes wisdom and I find it better for all parties concerned to not let the mouth run riot.
 

Marydoll

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Holding, youre on a hiding to nothing now, no point in trying to defend yourself, at least you were honest enough to admit it just let it go and ignore it now, and fwiw, i dont believe for one minute that all of us havent said something bitchy or snidey about someone or someones animal at some point, sadly i think its human nature, and that includes using humor that does the same :D
 

Holding

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Ah right. So you didn't 'laugh in their face' then at all? You just had a 'little giggle to yourself.

This sort of thing makes me sooo glad I am on a small private yard.

My bad, I was being hyperbolic. I did not, in fact, throw my head back and guffaw while said cob cried a single tear. I giggled, in front of the owner, who in turn said something disparaging about warmbloods, and that was it. I can assure you that the owner was not upset, although I can't guarantee that the cob wasn't.

Holding, youre on a hiding to nothing now, no point in trying to defend yourself, at least you were honest enough to admit it just let it go and ignore it now, and fwiw, i dont believe for one minute that all of us havent said something bitchy or snidey about someone or someones animal at some point, sadly i think its human nature, and that includes using humor that does the same :D

Yes'm. I'll stop now - I'm pretty sure I might just be making it worse, anyway. I promise I'm actually quite a nice person, all cob-taunting aside.
 

slumdog

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I have had my confidence pretty much destroyed by bitching, behind my back but to someone who took great delight in telling me all about it. I'm now on a lovely yard and my riding has improved and found I don't get sickening nerves at shows any more either. I was never particularly terrible to start with, the whole thing revolved around my tendency to lean too far forward when I jump (despite having not jumped for a couple of years following a bad fall) but soon my whole riding and my poor horse (who I'd only just bought) were being picked apart and I had no confidence at all.
I don't get involved in yard politics, I keep to myself so I've never had the need to bitch about anyone where I am.

Besides, my other half has gone from being totally non-horsey to being the pony club parent I never had and quickly tells me when I do something wrong lol!
 

JJones

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Well I've just been told that someone else commented that my horse was ugly & I should sell her. What horrid shallow people are out there. :(
 

maisie06

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Some of the things people say about little Alfie - such as "his movement is rubbish for dressage" - it would be, he's a soddin' trotter!! And some people also take it upon themselves to make nasty comments about "his ugly white face"

Hmmmmm yes Alfie may be ugly and move like the trotter he is, but he is dependable and honest and safe, he has manners - I wouldn't want to try and break some of the comment makers "better" looking horses to harness due to their disgraceful manners and not so nice attitude.
 

Marydoll

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I had a friend who had the ugliest horse in the world, it looked like it was made up out of spare parts, but it could jump like a gazelle and was ûber fast in a jump off, very careful and left a foot of air between it and the poles, ugly or not most in the yard would have had it in a heart beat, as the saying goes" looks arent everything" :D:D
 

Littlelegs

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It's sometimes an easy mistake to make though. Friend was telling me about a coloured cob for sale on her yard, would make a lovely allrounder but green & therefore cheap & I should buy it as daughters next pony as it would be ideal. My response 'theres no way she's having a coloured cob next'. Which if it had been overheard could easily be seen as rude. But, as my friend already knows, my daughter has always preferred finer types. Connies are the only chunkier ones she likes & that's only cos I've got one. She likes show ponies, section b's, show hacks & fine tbs. And secondly I find coloureds a pita to keep clean, they show dust & dirt, & unless it had v little white I would only buy my daughter any coloured when I don't have to help keep it clean. So not a rude comment at all, but it could easily be taken that way.
 

Moomin1

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I don't like coloureds or cobs and not afraid to say it, but I wouldn't make a rude comment to someone about their horse. If they asked me my honest opinion I would tell them I am not into coloured cobs but if their horse is what they want then great!
 
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