Safe Place to Make Mistakes!

[MereChristmas]

I tried something about a month ago, totally on a whim. Sat on it for a few minutes in walk, then popped into trot and got a horrible feeling from it. Swiftly walked again, thanked the owner but said it wasn’t for me. I’ve become much more aware since my accident and if I get a bad feeling, I get off.

I’ve done my days of flying around SJ courses and riding the lunatics that no-one else wants to get on! You absolutely do not bounce as readily when you get older.

I rode F at the viewing and he made me feel so safe even on the road, I was so nervous I couldn’t ask for canter but he did everything I needed and much much more with the seller.
When he was ill he reared vertically, leapt left, right or forwards, shot backwards and quivered violently. Not separately, any combination of the above. In spite of my age I was able to jump off. Where had the lovely pony gone?
Knowing he was ill has helped but nervousness overpowers everything and it has been very difficult for me this last 18 months.
If I hadn’t known how good he was before I am pretty certain I would never have ridden again.

 

[MuddyMonster]

I get around the horror of trying a horse and having my riding judged by only buying unbroken ones.
I wish I still liked jumping , I get nervous at a cross pole these days.

If it helps, I've never truly loved jumping & I'm still relatively young being in my 30's (or so I tell myself ) so anyone that has is very brave in my books! I enjoy popping logs and ditches out hacking - I've kept jumping up enough to give pony variety and do Trec but that's about it. If I never jumped a (small) showjump again, I wouldn't miss it.

Truth be told, I've never been the fearless, ride anything type and although I think I might like to be and perhaps ought to be ... well, it's meant to be fun, innit?

My current WIP is trying not overthink the flat work and thus make pony go worse not better I've changed my time of riding to avoid someone if riding in the school too - I know I should just crack on and ignore but I'm taking the easy way out at the moment

 

[Gloi]

If it helps, I've never truly loved jumping & I'm still relatively young being in my 30's (or so I tell myself ) so anyone that has is very brave in my books! I enjoy popping logs and ditches out hacking - I've kept jumping up enough to give pony variety and do Trec but that's about it. If I never jumped a (small) showjump again, I wouldn't miss it.

Truth be told, I've never been the fearless, ride anything type and although I think I might like to be and perhaps ought to be ... well, it's meant to be fun, innit?

My current WIP is trying not overthink the flat work and thus make pony go worse not better I've changed my time of riding to avoid someone if riding in the school too - I know I should just crack on and ignore but I'm taking the easy way out at the moment

I've never been fearless on other people's horses but not bad on my own. I did a fair bit of jumping and working hunters.
Post menopause though I've lost it and worry about hitting the deck and doing some permanent damage I just tootle around on my little cob mostly.
I drove some of my others and this one would soon get going. I had him in my trap but he was a bit big for it and so I sold it. The traffic is crazy though these days so it's not safe to drive on the lanes here.

 

[Mrs. Jingle]

I've never been fearless on other people's horses but not bad on my own. I did a fair bit of jumping and working hunters.
Post menopause though I've lost it and worry about hitting the deck and doing some permanent damage I just tootle around on my little cob mostly.
I drove some of my others and this one would soon get going. I had him in my trap but he was a bit big for it and so I sold it. The traffic is crazy though these days so it's not safe to drive on the lanes here.

I used to drive when I lived in Norfolk but even then, over 20;years ago the lanes became just too dangerous to carry on. Pity really I wouldn't mind a pretty little driving pony even now. But the Irish lanes would be even more terrifying.

 

[Gloi]

I used to drive when I lived in Norfolk but even then, over 20;years ago the lanes became just too dangerous to carry on. Pity really I wouldn't mind a pretty little driving pony even now. But the Irish lanes would be even more terrifying.

I know. I always liked driving but I've had incidents riding where I've needed to squash into the hedge to get away from vehicles and a trap would have been hit. Also someone I know had a tractor run into the back of them. Trap was wrecked. Pony fortunately had only minor injuries but was traumatized and is no longer drivable and no longer safe in traffic ridden.

 

[Cherryblossom]

Oh how I need this thread!
Mid June I did a county show and everything went wrong throughout the whole day. I had 2 refusals and a pole in the workers, tried to retire but but the judge encouraged me to go round- completed the course and then it was time for Pop to have a month off. She’s back in work a fortnight now, and externally it seems sensible that I haven’t yet jumped her, but internally I’m fighting a real battle. I know I should probably just book a jump lesson- my instructor is great and really gets us both, but I keep delaying and in a month I’ve to go back to working in the hospital and any riding becomes hard to squeeze in. I know if I faff I’ll regret wasting this summer of relative freedom, so I’m hoping that writing this down will give me the kick up the arse I need!

 

[Mrs. Jingle]

Cherry blossom please accept this virtual kick up the arse and get yourself a lesson booked, no more prevaricating just do it ASAP.

 

[Cherryblossom]

Cherry blossom please accept this virtual kick up the arse and get yourself a lesson booked, no more prevaricating just do it ASAP.

Kick gratefully received! Promise I’m not procrastinating, but can’t text instructor in middle of night- but I will tomorrow (she works the weekend) and will report back!

 

[Bernster]

Nice idea for a thread. If we want to improve, we have to stretch ourselves outside our comfort zone. And that’s bound to mean some mistakes along the way. Some of my misses make yours pale in comparison, AE!

I’ve retreated way way back into my comfort zone after a bad fall, and have hardly ridden for weeks now. Luckily I have “not so old” faithful (pictured below) who is the best confidence giver, to help me get back to riding and feeling more riding fit. And then, we’ll see…

 

[Cloball]

Well I couldn't even get on my pony last night . Took me ages to get her to stand still (which hasn't been an issue for ages) and when I finally managed to get on we were both so stressed out I did one circle in walk and jumped off. I tried breaking it down to...
1) standing next to her .. fine
2) gathering the reins ..initially instigated marching off but got to a calm stand by the end.
3) clambering on and off the mounting block, lining her up....fine
4) jumping, hopping, putting weight into the stirrup... Fine
5) putting it all together, marching off and pulling the reins from my hands.

Feeling particularly demoralised as I don't often ride by myself at the moment but she's been so good and there were people about I thought let's go for it even if I just walk round. I should probably have called it a day earlier with a smaller victory and come back to it after identifying the problem. I can mount on the move but I would like it to be safer especially when I'm on my own which or doesn't feel safe as it is. I can mount out hacking and with company fine. I'm just trying to decide if this was just an off day or if I am doing something wrong. We have had difficulty with standing in a relaxed way previously and she is quite a buzzy pony. I also definitely don't set off as soon as I get on I stand about do my girth and stirrups wait a bit and then go so I don't think I've trained this issue

 

[Mosh]

This is me having a right misser on my friends horse at Aylesford about 15 years ago. We did land together the right way up somehow!

 

[outdoor girl]

I love this thread and feel you'll understand how I'm feeling about riding. I had a bad fall over 20 years ago and it's still effecting my confidence riding. I came off a youngster I'd just backed when it started to bronc on the yard. You can only stay on for so long and I came off and badly broke my leg. When it was time to begin riding again I found a schoolmaster to loan, but even that took some nerve. I had to have someone walk by the side of me all the time, and I mean all the time. It must have taken about 6 months before I could trust this lovely horse to the point that I'd hack out with someone else. Several years later she had to be retired and I felt I could look for something to buy. I found my lovely little cob, who is a saint, but even on her, if she looks at something and begins to jog I freeze, if she stops and lifts her head a bit higher than normal I freeze. When you become a mature rider (0ver 70!!!) things become much more scary and maybe a bit blown out of proportion but very, very real. I haven't sat on her for 12 months now and although I really really want to and in my head I can visualise trotting and cantering her around, finding the courage to do it is another thing. Thanks for listening to me and hopefully understanding.

 

[Glitter's fun]

I also definitely don't set off as soon as I get on I stand about do my girth and stirrups wait a bit and then go so I don't think I've trained this issue

Sorry if this is too obvious/basic but if you get on, count to ten, give her a piece of carrot, move off might she get used to waiting for the carrot?

 

[Mosh]

My mare and I jumping last year. She chipped in half a stride and then went. I got so left behind...

 

[smolmaus]

Well I couldn't even get on my pony last night .

I've had this happen twice recently, both times someone had left something "new" in the corner with the mounting block (a metal barrel and a new, bright blue mounting block, hardly subtle) and I was so focused on getting her to stand still that I didn't even notice. I felt very stupid indeed to have had the exact same problem twice and still not catch on when I should have!

 

[Cloball]

Sorry if this is too obvious/basic but if you get on, count to ten, give her a piece of carrot, move off might she get used to waiting for the carrot?

I will definitely try this, just need to get past the hopping along side maybe make it a lot more boring
@smolmaus thank you glad it's not just me. I really enjoy your pony updates

 

[smolmaus]

I will definitely try this, just need to get past the hopping along side maybe make it a lot more boring
@smolmaus thank you glad it's not just me. I really enjoy your pony updates

This is the perfect thread for most of my pony updates

 

[southerncomfort]

I will definitely try this, just need to get past the hopping along side maybe make it a lot more boring
@smolmaus thank you glad it's not just me. I really enjoy your pony updates

Bo gets a (sugar free) polo for standing quietly at the mounting block before I get on

I suspect if we didn't he'd be much the same. In his case, he's so eager to go hacking (seriously...I once let go of him for a second and he was off out the gate without me!), that he needs a sweetie so that we can have a moment of calm before setting off.

 

[Cloball]

I fear this was my main mistake.... I ran out of rosehip rewards. I don't think I was clear in what I was asking as she kept offering rein back instead.

 

[Birker2020]

This was on Linked In a couple of years ago and I saved it.

 

[TheHairyOne]

Even the best get it wrong sometimes is what i tell myself (whilst thinking I'm horrific).

I struggle to push outside my comfort zone for fear or doing it wrong or getting it wrong. Its a mindset that really can hold back learning and one I am trying to chip away at. Horses are very forgiving and if it is wrong its not like i intended it to be. Its the risk assessment around 'if I get this wrong' that really hold me back jumping though. Its a shame as my horse adores it.

This Im not sure was a horrific misser and may have been very over enthusiastic horse, and he did jump us out of trouble, but none the less was horrible with the 'what ifs'... I suspect though that it was 100% me trying to ride positively forward whilst still loking for the little 'pop' stride that as he was moving wasnt there.Thats a big XC fence for me and Ive not got back up to schooling at that height consistantly since.

 

[SEL]

@TheHairyOne I'm pretty sure we've all got jumps like that in our past. If horse and I were together the other side I take it as a success. If it hadn't been caught on camera then I suspect you would have put it out of your mind quicker.

 

[CanteringCarrot]

Edit: upon further thought, best not to post.

 

[Ample Prosecco]

I had a losing access to skills experience yesterday. Dressage in the morning went well, and a large part of what I was pleased about was all the mindset stuff to manage nerves and turning them into excitement rather than just being scared. In the afternoon I had a lesson and went really quickly back to feeling 'small', reluctant, and backward thinking. Which gave a pretty 'meh' feeling lesson and then feeling deflated/annoyed with myself afterwards. Regained access to skills/positive mindset today in another lesson which on paper I would have said was objectively more challenging, and had a great time. Brains are weird (and wonderful). I'm pondering what the learning from this weekend is!

I guess that positive mindset/ confidence is not a presence or absence thing. It needs on-going work. And like any other skill, ability to access it varies from day to day. Of minute to minute.

Also sometimes people can do better when it’s more challenging. Challenge stress can increase motivation which in turn can increase focus/fire in your belly!

 

[Ample Prosecco]

Kick gratefully received! Promise I’m not procrastinating, but can’t text instructor in middle of night- but I will tomorrow (she works the weekend) and will report back!

Have you texted yet?!

 

[Ample Prosecco]

I love this thread and feel you'll understand how I'm feeling about riding. I had a bad fall over 20 years ago and it's still effecting my confidence riding. I came off a youngster I'd just backed when it started to bronc on the yard. You can only stay on for so long and I came off and badly broke my leg. When it was time to begin riding again I found a schoolmaster to loan, but even that took some nerve. I had to have someone walk by the side of me all the time, and I mean all the time. It must have taken about 6 months before I could trust this lovely horse to the point that I'd hack out with someone else. Several years later she had to be retired and I felt I could look for something to buy. I found my lovely little cob, who is a saint, but even on her, if she looks at something and begins to jog I freeze, if she stops and lifts her head a bit higher than normal I freeze. When you become a mature rider (0ver 70!!!) things become much more scary and maybe a bit blown out of proportion but very, very real. I haven't sat on her for 12 months now and although I really really want to and in my head I can visualise trotting and cantering her around, finding the courage to do it is another thing. Thanks for listening to me and hopefully understanding.

Aw it’s hard after serious accidents at any age. But even more so when you are older as you just feel more vulnerable.

Can you break things down into tiny steps? There’s nothing wrong with having a foot soldier again for another 6 months! Slowly your confidence will grow -like it did last time. New horse means you may need to repeat the process that helped last time x

 

[Fjord]

I need this thread. I overfaced myself recently with a 40cm jumping round on a friend's pony who I had only ridden a couple of times before. We were hopeless and I cried, not through fear but just sheer despair at how utterly useless I was.

With new pony we are going to go super slow. Walk in hand lots, line up at the mounting block, get on, treat then get off. Lead rein if necessary to keep us both calm. I'm determined not to f*ck this up and I will listen to my gut, not other people telling me to move faster.

As an aside, I'm interested in learning more NH training tips (not Parelli) if anyone can recommend any you tube clips.

 

[Gloi]

Joining in with the cross country here I am nearly coming off the back when he took off a stride early years ago
It's a bunch of mini strokes during lockdown that's knocked my confidence a lot unfortunately, though I'm ok now if I keep on the drugs.

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

I guess that positive mindset/ confidence is not a presence or absence thing. It needs on-going work. And like any other skill, ability to access it varies from day to day. Of minute to minute.

Also sometimes people can do better when it’s more challenging. Challenge stress can increase motivation which in turn can increase focus/fire in your belly!

I think the difference within the same day was quite striking; hopefully that will be useful to learn from and will help me figure out what take me to the 'small/scared/can't do it' place and what takes me to the 'hey let's go!' place.

 

[Ample Prosecco]

And when you find out you can tell me!!

Today I was in the ‘totally overwhelmed and riding like a donkey’ space. Hey ho….