Safe Place to Make Mistakes!

[MereChristmas]

And when you find out you can tell me!!

Today I was in the ‘totally overwhelmed and riding like a donkey’ space. Hey ho….

and I was sitting in the mud next to F

 

[Ample Prosecco]

F as in the nickname for a pet? Or family member. Or F as in dressage letter?? Hope you are ok if the latter!

 

[MereChristmas]

F as in the nickname for a pet? Or family member. Or F as in dressage letter?? Hope you are ok if the latter!

F as in abbreviation of my pony’s name.

I went on a fun ride. I’m OK
I exploded my air jacket!
Early on F fell over in a gateway, we went down together and he deposited me the 2” to the ground.
He was lying with his legs tucked under and as he got up,
leaving me on the ground, BANG
I have no idea how he fell. There were no slip marks and he was entirely unruffled.
We carried on and he was fine. It was most odd.
The gateway was sloping a little and F had just slowed to walk. There were 2 hoof prints almost on top of each other in the mud. Perhaps he got his feet too close together as he began to turn. It happened so quickly. I fell about 2” as we went down together. The a.j. didn’t explode until F stood up.
I have muddy boots and mud on the bum of the a.j. but am fine.
F seemed unruffled and we waited for deflation so I could remount and then carried on.
When we were back I discovered F has cut himself between his legs in front of the girth. I expect he caught it with his shoe. I’ve cleaned it and sprayed it as I cannot see it needing a stitch. If it was I think he’d rip it if he rolled.
YM has checked it just now and it’s OK. She’ll check again in the morning and let me know.

 

[Ample Prosecco]

So being brave I’ll tell you about my car crash of a day. I did my first 90 on Lottie at Frickley last season and she stormed round clear. I’ve done 3 more this season which have felt straight forward. Training has been brilliant. Novice fences and complex 100 lines. So I felt I was ready to give 100s a go. My trainer agreed. In fact she thought I was ready way before I did, but finally I also felt ready.

Weirdly the E last weekend at the 100 HT was confidence giving because the fence heights felt fine. I just screwed up the water complex and I was determined not to do that again but to. Attack the course. So today I went to Epworth for the BE100. My friend who was grooming was unable to come so I went alone. And just fell apart completely. Oddly calm on the surface but paddling like @*#% underneath! Everything went wrong. I lost all track of time and was late for dressage - having got there with 2.5 hours to spare. I forgot the test for the first time in 5 years. I was totally imposter syndromed in SJ warm up surrounded by pros, and rode like a complete beginner. I didn’t dare ask anyone to adjust fences, or assert myself to get to the fences that were put up by others. And - having not had a single refusal all season in BS up to 1:05 - I had 3 refusals by fence 6 on a straightforward course, by just completely freezing up. E again and an early trip home. I’ve had a look at the view at 100 level and it’s bl00dy scary up there! So much so that even the thought of the XC overwhelmed me so much that I just couldn’t ride.

So I’m stepping down again and focussing on 90s and a LOT more training to try and shrink these fences and make the lines look more manageable. Plus some focused mindset work to ‘unfreeze’ myself. My riding might be ready. My horse certainly is. But my brain is nowhere near. I WILL get there. But not just yet…..

 

[Ample Prosecco]

F as in abbreviation of my pony’s name.

I went on a fun ride. I’m OK
I exploded my air jacket!
Early on F fell over in a gateway, we went down together and he deposited me the 2” to the ground.
He was lying with his legs tucked under and as he got up,
leaving me on the ground, BANG
I have no idea how he fell. There were no slip marks and he was entirely unruffled.
We carried on and he was fine. It was most odd.
The gateway was sloping a little and F had just slowed to walk. There were 2 hoof prints almost on top of each other in the mud. Perhaps he got his feet too close together as he began to turn. It happened so quickly. I fell about 2” as we went down together. The a.j. didn’t explode until F stood up.
I have muddy boots and mud on the bum of the a.j. but am fine.
F seemed unruffled and we waited for deflation so I could remount and then carried on.
When we were back I discovered F has cut himself between his legs in front of the girth. I expect he caught it with his shoe. I’ve cleaned it and sprayed it as I cannot see it needing a stitch. If it was I think he’d rip it if he rolled.
YM has checked it just now and it’s OK. She’ll check again in the morning and let me know.

Yikes. Glad you are both ok x

 

[Ample Prosecco]

Ps my trainer has said I need to go to Somerford to walk the lines I’ve been riding. She thinks I don’t realise how big/tricky they are, so when I walk a course I get hopelessly intimidated. And then panic/freeze. So that’s my homework for the week x

 

[MereChristmas]

So being brave I’ll tell you about my car crash of a day. I did my first 90 on Lottie at Frickley last season and she stormed round clear. I’ve done 3 more this season which have felt straight forward. Training has been brilliant. Novice fences and complex 100 lines. So I felt I was ready to give 100s a go. My trainer agreed. In fact she thought I was ready way before I did, but finally I also felt ready.

Weirdly the E last weekend at the 100 HT was confidence giving because the fence heights felt fine. I just screwed up the water complex and I was determined not to do that again but to. Attack the course. So today I went to Epworth for the BE100. My friend who was grooming was unable to come so I went alone. And just fell apart completely. Oddly calm on the surface but paddling like @*#% underneath! Everything went wrong. I lost all track of time and was late for dressage - having got there with 2.5 hours to spare. I forgot the test for the first time in 5 years. I was totally imposter syndromed in SJ warm up surrounded by pros, and rode like a complete beginner. I didn’t dare ask anyone to adjust fences, or assert myself to get to the fences that were put up by others. And - having not had a single refusal all season in BS up to 1:05 - I had 3 refusals by fence 6 on a straightforward course, by just completely freezing up. E again and an early trip home. I’ve had a look at the view at 100 level and it’s bl00dy scary up there! So much so that even the thought of the XC overwhelmed me so much that I just couldn’t ride.

So I’m stepping down again and focussing on 90s and a LOT more training to try and shrink these fences and make the lines look more manageable. Plus some focused mindset work to ‘unfreeze’ myself. My riding might be ready. My horse certainly is. But my brain is nowhere near. I WILL get there. But not just yet…..

Wow
and I wouldn’t jump 2foot today as it was too high.
Congratulations on your determination and ability to work it out.

 

[millitiger]

Great thread!
I think important to be able to positively review when things don't quite go as you want/expect.

My jump trainer I have started using this year has really helped to change my mindset.
Yes, it's best to jump a perfect round, without any crappy strides or poles etc.
However, I don't lose my head after every poor jump now, I review if I could have done things differently and come again.
Sometimes I don't think I need to do things differently and actually it's just my horse learning and he sometimes makes mistakes too and that's ok.

I now actively practice the things i didn't like- super square oxers off a left turn back, right handed 'proper' corners.

I don't have any videos or photos to add here, only as I am naturally a perfectionist and trainer has advised me to watch a mistake on video 2 or 3 times, decide what you could have done differently (if anything), and then delete.
Otherwise my perfectionist side will slow mo and run it over and over again, nit picking which is no good.
Instead we keep the videos where the feeling was great- and I'm allowed to watch those as many times as I like!

In the spirit of the thread, I had a loss of confidence in my ability to train my horse at all this week BUT in hindsight I am being dramatic
Yes I have tonnes to work on, but in true dressage fashion- the more you know and the better you go, the longer you realise the journey actually is and you're not as far down the road as you thought!

 

[CanteringCarrot]

Ps my trainer has said I need to go to Somerford to walk the lines I’ve been riding. She thinks I don’t realise how big/tricky they are, so when I walk a course I get hopelessly intimidated. And then panic/freeze. So that’s my homework for the week x

Sounds like you've got your work cut out for you!

The brain is a tricky thing!

 

[HufflyPuffly]

Ps my trainer has said I need to go to Somerford to walk the lines I’ve been riding. She thinks I don’t realise how big/tricky they are, so when I walk a course I get hopelessly intimidated. And then panic/freeze. So that’s my homework for the week x

Glad you have something to work on to help, I can sympathise with being ready but mentally it all just goes wrong. That’s how I ended eventing with Skylla so I feel I’ll be even more inept by the time Beryl will be ready…

My win of today is that Skylla stood like a pro for me to get on. She can be a bit sensitive about mounting if not ridden regularly (scoped, x-rays clean) and put me on my ass the other week by shooting off before I was 100% on, so we were both getting anxious about it!

Really working on giving each stage of mounting time and calmness before doing the next step. So stood still next to block, foot in stirrup and give a wiggle whilst still stood still, bounce a bit but not getting on, then if we’re both calm and still I’ll get on. I know she’s 100% when in enough work but got myself in a right viscous cycle about it!

 

[Ample Prosecco]

@HufflyPuffly horses standing still for mounting is so confidence giving. Just a much nicer way to start a ride. Well worth taking time over. Well done on getting there with her!!

 

[millitiger]

Ps my trainer has said I need to go to Somerford to walk the lines I’ve been riding. She thinks I don’t realise how big/tricky they are, so when I walk a course I get hopelessly intimidated. And then panic/freeze. So that’s my homework for the week x

Definitely a good idea to walk what you have jumped already.
Also means you can build similar at home to practice more.

I used to think I was practicing corners at home, until my trainer said they were just sloping spreads ..
So I got off in a lesson and really looked at the dimensions of what she had built me, with a proper 90 degree wedge corner and less than 3ft gap to safely jump, with a jump wing blocking the wider part.
Magically this has transformed us- 90 corners now look small, complex skinny combinations on turns are jumpable, my horse is SO much more confident too.
I had been kidding myself what I was practicing with but also doing a disservice as we were able to do it in a lesson but I needed to keep practising until it was normal and nothing special.

 

[MereChristmas]

@millitiger …the more you know and the better you go, the longer you realise the journey actually is and you're not as far down the road as you thought!

I’ve been riding since 1969 and I don’t think I’ve found the road yet.

 

[Cloball]

Glad you have something to work on to help, I can sympathise with being ready but mentally it all just goes wrong. That’s how I ended eventing with Skylla so I feel I’ll be even more inept by the time Beryl will be ready…

My win of today is that Skylla stood like a pro for me to get on. She can be a bit sensitive about mounting if not ridden regularly (scoped, x-rays clean) and put me on my ass the other week by shooting off before I was 100% on, so we were both getting anxious about it!

Really working on giving each stage of mounting time and calmness before doing the next step. So stood still next to block, foot in stirrup and give a wiggle whilst still stood still, bounce a bit but not getting on, then if we’re both calm and still I’ll get on. I know she’s 100% when in enough work but got myself in a right viscous cycle about it!

My homework for the foreseeable.

Changed my plan today as OH had offered to try going out with just him on the bike today but my head really wasn't in the game so when a livery asked if I wanted to go for a quiet hack we did that instead. Definitely for the best as a massive yellow and black biting insect started attacking D on our way up the field and she started turning herself inside out in a way she hasn't done before and knocked me over. Which wasn't a great start but I carried on covered her in ultrashield and went out on a lovely relaxed hack. Still feel a bit like a failure as I changed plans and also my wrist and back are killing me.

 

[HufflyPuffly]

My homework for the foreseeable.

Changed my plan today as OH had offered to try going out with just him on the bike today but my head really wasn't in the game so when a livery asked if I wanted to go for a quiet hack we did that instead. Definitely for the best as a massive yellow and black biting insect started attacking D on our way up the field and she started turning herself inside out in a way she hasn't done before and knocked me over. Which wasn't a great start but I carried on covered her in ultrashield and went out on a lovely relaxed hack. Still feel a bit like a failure as I changed plans and also my wrist and back are killing me.

Never a failure, you chose the best choice to set you both up for success today! Always aim for success and not making problems worse, you can work on the tricky stuff on a better day x

 

[Ample Prosecco]

@millitiger great advice thanks. Especially the idea of actively practicing things you don’t like. So easy to keep repeating stuff you already feel ok with! And building stuff at home x

 

[millitiger]

And I also practice with everything I would at a competition - so carry my competition stick, wear my posh long boots , he wears the same boots etc. to replicate the show feel at home as much as possible.

 

[smolmaus]

I skipped a hack today altogether, buddy had a fall yesterday and clearly wasn't feeling it with the miserable weather so I very happily took a rain check. The relief I felt is definitely a problem

Didn't even end up bringing her in, putting one horse back in the right field meant another one got out (because I'm stupid and didn't notice the tape wasn't secured to the last post) and then he wouldn’t be caught and the hullabaloo had our mares prancing about the field like morons so as soon as Misplaced Gelding #2 was herded back to the right side of the tape and the rain started again, I gave up and came home. Next time I'm just messaging the YO like I should have done. Sadie got a wave, didn't even pat her

 

[iknowmyvalue]

Perfect place for admitting the low point of an otherwise very successful SJ outing today. He’d jumped a fab clear in the 80cm, warming up for the 90 and I just put him on the most impossible long distance to a big oxer. I don’t know what stride I thought I was going on, I see the odd long stride but not quite this bad. Cue Pepsi chipping in right to the base and launching himself into space to try and clear it (which he did), safe to say I did not stick the landing. Big oops.

Luckily, I’m fine other than a bit bruised and he didn’t seem too rattled and went on to jump another super clear. I’m just kicking myself because we’ve been so careful building up his and my confidence, and then I go and do something stupid like that. I guess both lucky and unlucky that he’s so honest?! Hopefully the nice round following it means his confidence isn’t dented too much going forward

 

[MuddyMonster]

So being brave I’ll tell you about my car crash of a day. I did my first 90 on Lottie at Frickley last season and she stormed round clear. I’ve done 3 more this season which have felt straight forward. Training has been brilliant. Novice fences and complex 100 lines. So I felt I was ready to give 100s a go. My trainer agreed. In fact she thought I was ready way before I did, but finally I also felt ready.

Weirdly the E last weekend at the 100 HT was confidence giving because the fence heights felt fine. I just screwed up the water complex and I was determined not to do that again but to. Attack the course. So today I went to Epworth for the BE100. My friend who was grooming was unable to come so I went alone. And just fell apart completely. Oddly calm on the surface but paddling like @*#% underneath! Everything went wrong. I lost all track of time and was late for dressage - having got there with 2.5 hours to spare. I forgot the test for the first time in 5 years. I was totally imposter syndromed in SJ warm up surrounded by pros, and rode like a complete beginner. I didn’t dare ask anyone to adjust fences, or assert myself to get to the fences that were put up by others. And - having not had a single refusal all season in BS up to 1:05 - I had 3 refusals by fence 6 on a straightforward course, by just completely freezing up. E again and an early trip home. I’ve had a look at the view at 100 level and it’s bl00dy scary up there! So much so that even the thought of the XC overwhelmed me so much that I just couldn’t ride.

So I’m stepping down again and focussing on 90s and a LOT more training to try and shrink these fences and make the lines look more manageable. Plus some focused mindset work to ‘unfreeze’ myself. My riding might be ready. My horse certainly is. But my brain is nowhere near. I WILL get there. But not just yet…..

I've loved this not because I love the car crash of your day but for your attitude and your bravery for posting this ❤

You'll totally do this & I, along with most of HHO will be popping some fizz and celebrating for you when you do!

(But on the very small off chance you don't for any multiple of reasons, you've still achieved so much & inspired so many - I hope you realise this).

 

[SEL]

Need a hug button - especially for those who have been splatted this weekend. Hope you're not too bruised. Ibuprofen is great!

I've lost canter with Baby Cob and it's totally my fault. There's only a couple of safe places to canter on hacks and he was getting cocky so I went back to walk & trot. Now if I ask for canter I get Cob Trot. It's an impressive and much better trot but he prefers that to canter.

So I need to have a think.

 

[outdoor girl]

Aw it’s hard after serious accidents at any age. But even more so when you are older as you just feel more vulnerable.

Can you break things down into tiny steps? There’s nothing wrong with having a foot soldier again for another 6 months! Slowly your confidence will grow -like it did last time. New horse means you may need to repeat the process that helped last time.

I just knew I could rely on understanding from you lovely lot. I think the next step is going to be for me to tack her up and grab my husband to hold tightly onto the reins while I climb aboard. You're right AE, If I can just walk round the yard, even with a foot soldier, I think a little smile may just appear. Watch this space.

 

[southerncomfort]

I can't currently sort my position out cantering uphill on a hack (I live in a very hilly area with hardly any safe, flat areas for a canter).

In my head, I want a lighter, more forward seat but can't seem to get up and forward enough to get out of his way.

I suspect its my weak core muscles letting me down so I suppose I know what I need to work on but still feel fairly useless about it.

 

[Ample Prosecco]

Can you practice in walk?

 

[AShetlandBitMeOnce]

I made a mistake only yesterday, teaching Dex to 'lunge' (move independently or with me behind him in prep for long lining) - I realised half way through that he wasn't quite as understanding of bit pressure as I thought he was, and that actually his confidence was lost on a bigger circle to that we usually do in hand 'work' on. So I went back to some bits he's happy with and called it a day, every day is a school day.

He's become a bit anxious when we do in hand work recently, always looking for an answer to what he thinks I may be asking, even if I am not asking anything at all - so time for 5 steps back, in order to take better steps forward I think

 

[Chippers1]

I've really lost confidence recently, particularly in SJ. I dream of being able to hop around even a 70cm course without feeling totally overwhelmed but I just can't seem to do it. Before lockdown I was aiming for BE80 and managed to get to one (although Eliminated..) but I could happily jump an 80cm SJ course. Oxers just terrify me now and I can't seem to jump them. I will do a 60cm as oxers are normally closer!
I will gladly XC at 70, and have qualified for the Eland champs at 70 but some of those fences are a little scary too. Buzz loves to jump higher but I can't give him that confidence like I used to.
So I am making a lot of mistakes at the moment! Getting left behind or over riding to a fence. I am hoping to move soon which will potentially involve a yard move to a yard with a proper SJ course where I can practice more and gain some confidence back hopefully!

 

[humblepie]

In the spirit of things, admission first - have not competed show jumping for 20 years and despite jumping Foxhunter/Grade C etc back in the day with an ex racehorse, am now terrified of a cross pole. Back then if jumping in a class with top show jumpers/events just found it fun despite my horse not going on the bit and whizzing at high speed everywhere as in a jumpg off generally one of the fastest, if the least stylish. However the being intimidated and freezing in the warm up is something I can relate to as I moved into top class showing - I went and had a sports pysch session which was excellent. Of course as we all know, control the controllables but that every outing is a new one and my horse who was doing well was probably considering a serious contender by others in the class. I learned to not panic because mine didn't come off the lorry and immediately go beautifully - yes I had to warm him up properly and getting him working but the many of the other horses had already done that before looking amazing too. Essentially embrace the imposter syndrome (if that makes sense) you are there on merit, many people are very helpful if you have a question and head up and rock it.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

Well I couldn't even get on my pony last night . Took me ages to get her to stand still (which hasn't been an issue for ages) and when I finally managed to get on we were both so stressed out I did one circle in walk and jumped off. I tried breaking it down to...
1) standing next to her .. fine
2) gathering the reins ..initially instigated marching off but got to a calm stand by the end.
3) clambering on and off the mounting block, lining her up....fine
4) jumping, hopping, putting weight into the stirrup... Fine
5) putting it all together, marching off and pulling the reins from my hands.

Feeling particularly demoralised as I don't often ride by myself at the moment but she's been so good and there were people about I thought let's go for it even if I just walk round. I should probably have called it a day earlier with a smaller victory and come back to it after identifying the problem. I can mount on the move but I would like it to be safer especially when I'm on my own which or doesn't feel safe as it is. I can mount out hacking and with company fine. I'm just trying to decide if this was just an off day or if I am doing something wrong. We have had difficulty with standing in a relaxed way previously and she is quite a buzzy pony. I also definitely don't set off as soon as I get on I stand about do my girth and stirrups wait a bit and then go so I don't think I've trained this issue

Use treats just regularly stand at the mounting block and give a few treats, make sure you get her to stand in the correct place a few treats use the word stand, then a treat once your on it stops most horses rushing off some people might think its wrong but I can't have my horses pissing around when I'm trying to get on and it's worked for mine.

 

[AShetlandBitMeOnce]

Use treats just regularly stand at the mounting block and give a few treats, make sure you get her to stand in the correct place a few treats use the word stand, then a treat once your on it stops most horses rushing off some people might think its wrong but I can't have my horses pissing around when I'm trying to get on and it's worked for mine.

If she is partial to a wither scratch and will move toward you for more of them, you can also use this as a fairly easy way to make it rewarding for them to line themselves up with the mounting block for you if you add a very clear que. Dex is very established at this now, and I'm actually having to re-train the 'only do it when I am asking' part.

 

[southerncomfort]

Can you practice in walk?

Good idea!