So Dissapointed

L

LittleSoph

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Joined
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southeastriders.myfanforum.org
I keep toying with whether or not to post this, as I think a lot of people are just going to tell me I'm over reacting, but I can't help feeling it needs to be said.

Without going any further, I'm not one to over react often... I'm not a wimp, I not afraid of a decent debate and believe it or not, I'm not actually easily offended normally. But I do feel that the 'cobs' thread from last night was really below the belt, and became more so as it went on.

I couldn't care less who likes my horse and who doesn't. As far as I am concerned he is the best horse in the world and nobody can change my mind about that. However, I think some of the people posting last night were bullies and I think it is wrong that this is allowed to happen on a forum like this.

I'll admit to getting quite irate last night, as things went on, but having had time to think about it, I think, rather than just being plain rude, I think it was wrong the way people were tactlessly winding others up and offending people.

The thing is, the culprits say 'oh but we're not serious'... but the thing is, throughout the thread a bullying culture developed where as long as they stick a smiley on the end, all agree with one another and then claim they were only joking, it's fine for them to say what they like to who they like and then accuse their victims of over reacting!

I really felt, for the first time in many years, that I was back in the playground again, with some big bullies and their little sheep, probing and probing for a reaction that you don't want to give because you know it's what they're looking for, but in the end, you just can't help bite back!

I reported the post to admin, but it seems that because of who the ring leaders are, nothing has been done about it... which I find a real shame. I'm really disappointed with HHO about this and think this needed to be said. If this post dissapears into the depths with not a single reply now, then so be it... but at least I've said what I needed to say.
 
I think you've totally blown that post out of proportion, and taken offence where none was intended.

And as a caveat - I love your little horse, and would have another cob tomorrow
 
But that's kind of my point... it doesn't matter if none is intended (which actually I disagree with, but anyhow) if offence is taken, it isn't acceptable to carry on offending and then just go 'oh but we were joking'!
 
Some people can be very easily offended (I'm not insinuating you here), and take wind up's very personally.

See it for what it is, and don't give it a second thought.
 
I think the inital post by Shils was all in good humour and designed to wind people up on a Monday evening. Whatever she says we know there is a pink fluffy heart beating under that scaley exterior!! It's just the same stereotype applied to anything isn't it; poofy warmblood, scatty TB, naughty / cheeky pony? I think most people took it in the way it was intended and if I thought anyone posting actually looked down on or had those thoughts in real life about a cob I'd be quite shocked! There was one poster who I thought took it a bit far and really did seem to be venting about hating cobs which was a bit much but there's always one!

FWIW my little lad is short and hairy and I have been riding point to pointers up until I bought him. I am having the p*ss taken out of me something chronic by all the racing-minded people for buying a native and discussion about ploughing competitions has reached epic proportions! But I know if they were left with him for 5 minutes where no one was watching they'd be patting, chatting and making friends with him!!
 
Yup - I'm afraid you are over-reacting! Move on and put people on user ignore if you really have to. It is just a forum and we all have differences of opinion - life's too short to be fretting over what people may or may not think of your horse.
 
I agree it wasn't my sense of humour so I didn't read it or join in. I am getting a bit sick of posts being pulled all the time because admin seems to think if one person is offended, then posters should be censored and I'm NOT pointing the finger at you, littlesoph. I just think there is too much of this going on at the mo. BTW I LOVE your horse and I'd have him off you like a shot! :)
 
indiat said:
I am getting a bit sick of posts being pulled all the time because admin seems to think if one person is offended, then posters should be censored
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Agree with you entirely - we are going to end up with a very anaemic, dull and fluffy forum soon if this trend carries on. There are lots of tightly moderated fluffy forums about if that is people's preference, but please don't let this one go the same way. :(
 
Hi, I don't post very often on here, more of a lurker, but felt the need to comment. O.K the original post was meant to be a bit of a wind up, I read it all with interest as I am a cob owner. I didn't find any of it particularly funny, why would someone think it is funny to start a post with 'why would anyone want to own a cob', you could say that about any type of horse/animal. I don't like TB's wouldn't have one given, but I don't think it would be funny to put a post about people owning them - each to their own. Don't think it is a question of over reacting, think it is more a question of why would someone think its funny to start a post like that anyway. Yes - I do have a sense of humour I have had my leg pulled numerous times about owning cobs, I don't care I love them. Putting smiley's after posts doesn't make them less offensive - justs give people the excuse to be rude and thoughtless. Anyway, each to their own, but if people are bored can't think of anything better to do than put posts on a forum to wind people up. Childish !!! Don't know how to work smiley's so can't put any on, but don't want to appear rude and thoughtless !!!!!!
 
TGM said:
Agree with you entirely - we are going to end up with a very anaemic, dull and fluffy forum soon if this trend carries on. There are lots of tightly moderated fluffy forums about if that is people's preference, but please don't let this one go the same way. :(
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I have to say I agree with TGM. If people are offended - don't read the post! I was laughing as were a whole load of cob owners!! People do sometimes have sense of humour failures but that is not a reason to pull the post. If everything that offended me on this forum was pulled, there would be a lot less threads!

I really don't see how last night's post equates to bullying.
 
I didn't respond to the thread but I read through ever post and was LMAO. I own a cob and didn't find the thread offensive at all.

TBH I think it's the most fun that has been had on this forum since the change over!
 
TBH....I saw it was Shils who had started the thread...I knew it was intended as a wind up but some others maybe didnt. I didn't bother to read it as I had a fair idea what would ensue.

I have no strong preference either way.... I'm not a massive cob fan but I dont hate them either....I ride OH's cob mare now and again and its fun.....but she's not my cup of tea. Neither are warmbloods, full TB's and a host of other 'types'.....I love arabs but they are not everybodies cup of tea either.

Its like when you are at work/college or whatever...conversations go on around you....you don't get involved in all of them, you may not agree with whats being said but live and let live I say.

Here endeth the lesson;)
 
Some people have such an odd sense of humour.... call it a sense of humour failure, call it what you like, but I readily admit I do fully fail to understand! Where I come from, causing trouble for the sake of it and offending people, just isn't funny. But then I suppose it takes all sorts...
 
I never bother reading Shilasdair's posts - assuming they are always the usual standard... about as funny as a heart attack. I just went and had a look - yes obviously meant tongue in cheek but also intended to bait people. There are some genuinely humourous threads on here every so often but that one is just lame. Stick her on ignore and move on - your horse is stunning btw!
 
I think maybe you are being a bit oversensitive. The post was meant to be a wind up and tongue in cheek and I think had you responded in that way you would have got a different reaction. At the end of the day if you are happy with your cob what does it matter what people you don't actually know write on a forum. Personally I'm more of a tb fan (well tb x natives to be precise). If someone wants to post about how they hate them that's fine by me - I don't feel the need to get defensive about it.

I didn't see any evidence of bullying just people with different opinions getting into a bit of a spat! Sure some of the comments got a bit personal from time to time and I can see that maybe you felt a bit got at, but that's quite different from being bullied.
 
martlin said:
No, not really, I'm not going to argue, but maybe read your posts on the cob thread again and you will see what I mean?
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Oh ok, you mean I was offensive back when I was offended??? I think that's called self defense??
I thought you meant I had previously made a post or replied to a post, unprovoked, and said something tactless or deliberately hurtful... like I said, I will admit I got angry last night, and for that I apologise to anyone I offended.
 
Now, you see, I don't see the difference between being rude unprovoked and in as you call it self defence. You would be in much better position with this thread if you haven't lost it last night. But that's just my personal opinion.
 
LittleSoph

I suggest you just put down the shovel and step away from the hole you are digging yourself in to. You have given the exact reaction that some people on here were looking for and you just need to accept that some people do not like cobs and move on. It doesnt matter how much you protest, you can't change someones personal tastes.

FWIW I am a huge cob fan and am certain that my first horse will be a cob, and you need to watch out for me on the rob for your boy because I love him!! :D :D
 
Like I said, I felt it needed to be said and I'm not really bothered what people think of cobs... that isn't my issue.
I agree Martlin, I would, and have apologised for anyone offence caused... but I STILL don't think it's acceptable for people to feel it necessary to just post an entire post to offend/cause trouble...??? I'm baffled as to how anyone thinks that's fine. I must live in a different world.

Perhaps HH you are right, perhaps I should give up (something I've never been very good at doing)... it's clear that people have different levels of tolerance and ideas of what is right and wrong.
 
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LittleSoph said:
Like I said, I felt it needed to be said and I'm not really bothered what people think of cobs... that isn't my issue.
I agree Martlin, I would, and have apologised for anyone offence caused... but I STILL don't think it's acceptable for people to feel it necessary to just post an entire post to offend/cause trouble...??? I'm baffled as to how anyone thinks that's fine. I must live in a different world.
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Maybe it wasn't posted to offend - maybe it was just posted to promote a bit of banter which is how most people took it. What is acceptable to one person may be unacceptable to others and with the number of people on the forum you are bound to get differences in what people find acceptable. At the end of the day we can all post what we like (within reason) on this forum - its called freedom of speech. However you can choose what you read.
 
No, I dont think you liveina different world! I have never read any of shilasdairs threads, I seem to be picking up that the threads are quite often tongue in cheek posts, sorry if I am wrong there. But if someone doesnt know this I can see how people could get offended. Especially to be told that your horse, that you love dearly, should be sent to france to be eaten, just because its a cob! Its good to have a lively debate, but I think maybe it went a little too far last night for some people. Its meant to be fun, and it can be without being hurtful,
 
LittleSoph said:
Perhaps HH you are right, perhaps I should give up (something I've never been very good at doing)... it's clear that people have different levels of tolerance and ideas of what is right and wrong.
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Not saying give up, just know when to stop. Everyone knows that you are upset by the thread and that it has offended you, but the more you go on about it the more others will try to rile you even more.

xx
 
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