Sold my horse and new owner is a nightmare

kathantoinette said:
What a bloody nightmare. I must say I’ve been there as the buyer and my seller wouldn’t take the horse back. I had to a send to sales livery at my expense. The seller walked away and left it to me to sort out. The horse was purchased for 6k and I got all of my money back less the sales livery fee.

I have some questions before I can give advice as to what I would do;

How much was the sale for?
How old is the horse?
How long did you have the horse before selling?
Did you ride/compete regularly with the horse?
Why did you sell?
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How much was the sale for? £1200, he’s only a pony and was fairly green although well behaved plus the corona virus, if it wasn’t for corona I would have asked for atleast £2k
How old is the horse? 9
How long did you have the horse before selling? Only a few months which she new
Did you ride/compete regularly with the horse? He was ridden 4-7 time’s a week by me and his 14 year old sharer. Never competed.
Why did you sell? I bought him to give me confidence as I had an accident years ago and although he was well behaved to ride I even hacked him alone once a week and the sharer always hacked him alone, I hated it! Didn’t enjoy it at all, tried other horses and hated it, I just don’t want to ride anymore, it’s like I’ve got a mental block and just can’t get excited about it!
 
I really feel for you!

I dont think the new owner is being fair to the horse either - 4 weeks is no time to get him settled and into a new routine. I think you have been honest and understanding and really offered alot of solutions. Honestly, I dont think the answer is to take him back either but the new owner doesnt want to give him up anyway so thats a moot point!

I think your best bet is to send a message to both this YO and new owner - laying out your position and being polite and firm and then blocking both their numbers. Lay out the situation as you see it, horse was bought and paid for & no longer your responsibility without vetting, against advice and the horse like all horses needs time to settle into a new routine and be given a fair chance, its a horse not a machine. Explain you have answered all their questions and offered solutions but now you need to move on & let him figure out how to proceed with their horse. And then bow out.

You have conducted a fair sale and been more than helpful - I think you have done enough!
 
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So you posted in 2015 to ask advice about buying a horse which your experienced mother could help you with, were told not to buy a green horse, then roll forward a few years you bought a green pony which you owned a few months before selling on...... what advice did your mum give you about all of this? Can’t she help you out?
 
What a horrible situation to be in.

OP, you don't want the pony, you can't afford the pony and you have nowhere to keep the pony - whilst yes it may be a good option for the pony to be back with you, it's not practical in any way, shape or form.

The YO is perfectly capable of caring for the pony in the case of abandonment from what you have described. It's up to her to follow any legalities she may need to and not for you to worry about on the basis that you don't actually want the pony back.

Has the pony actually not been abandoned, the new owner is responsible for the pony and doesn't want to send him back.

I don't see what else you can do in this situation other than offer the help you already have, and walk away.

It's nothing to feel guilty about or be pressured into by holier than thou strangers on a forum either...
 
Levrier said:
So you posted in 2015 to ask advice about buying a horse which your experienced mother could help you with, were told not to buy a green horse, then roll forward a few years you bought a green pony which you owned a few months before selling on...... what advice did your mum give you about all of this? Can’t she help you out?
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Ok that’s the daily detective award going to you Lev.
 
Bellaboo18 said:
If I'm honest, I feel there's a bit of the story missing.

You don't have to do anything, you could block the owner and tell the YO as far as you're concerned the horse was sold as seen and you don't want her contacting you.

I just find it strange that you appear to feel nothing for the horse. It's not a welfare issue but far from an ideal situation for the horse to be in.
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I don't think we can assume that OP feels nothing for the horse. The purpose of her post was to hear opinions about her position and possible solutions - adding a lot of detail about how she feels about it is not really necessary. Remember that while some people feel happy giving details about these things others are more private about their feelings, but it doe not mean that they are not just as upset as those who talk about it more openly.
 
Well I’ve been riding solidly 6 years, I didn’t end up buying a green horse then, my mum also would have killed me! I carried on riding my mums horses and sharing a horse and bought one last year when I felt I was ready, which I was. He was green but I paid a groom to bring him back into work which was about 3 weeks of regular riding and I carried on his training with my experienced yard and never had any problems.

I don’t understand your point about my post in 2015? Surprisingly people Progress, in that time I’ve hunted a lot, helped back my friends youngster and been as involved as I can with my share horse and friends horses, I also rode from when I was a child until early teens so I wasn’t exactly a beginner in 2015 either.

I unfortunately no longer have my mum to ask advice otherwise I would have already.
 
Do people not remember how much a younger person's maturity, riding and horse management skill can increase in five years?

Have they never been in a situation where the money has been spent and can't be repaid?

Or one where they've lost income since the horse was sold?

Some nasty judgemental posts on this thread.

.
 
Hm. I wasn’t sure whether to reply to this thread or not as I’ve never sold a horse. My logical thinking head says, why is YO and owner contacting you? The horse was sold as it was. The owner now has a contract with the YO. If new owner can’t handle the horse and hasn’t bothered to look after it, that is then the problem of the YO and a livery. I would not agree to have the horse back and certainly not on request of the YO. That would create some serious legal problems.

If you really are that detached from the horse, which it sounds like, then I’d explain to both YO and owner that it has nothing to do with you, the horse was agreed on and sold as it was. Then ignore or block them.

However. The part I can’t understand is why are they contacting you in the first place... has it been miss-sold?
 
ycbm said:
Do people not remember how much a younger person's maturity, riding and horse management skill can increase in five years?

Have they never been in a situation where the money has been spent and can't be repaid?

Or one where they've lost income since the horse was sold?

Some nasty judgemental posts on this thread.

.
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Agree with this and the judgemental posts are from the usual people.
 
ycbm said:
Do people not remember how much a younger person's maturity, riding and horse management skill can increase in five years?

Have they never been in a situation where the money has been spent and can't be repaid?

Or one where they've lost income since the horse was sold?

Some nasty judgemental posts on this thread.

.
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totally agree

trust it to be who it was that went back through posts to cast doubt :rolleyes: back on UI as honestly that’s just nonsense
 
ycbm said:
Do people not remember how much a younger person's maturity, riding and horse management skill can increase in five years?

Have they never been in a situation where the money has been spent and can't be repaid?

Or one where they've lost income since the horse was sold?

Some nasty judgemental posts on this thread.

.
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Thank you, admittedly I was a 19 year old who got back into riding and thought I knew it all! However I took everyone advise and continued to share a horse for 2 years, loaned a horse that I hunted for 2 years and spent a year, behind borrowing and stealing horses to hack for an hour until I found my horse that I paid to bring back into work and never had any issues with! I’m not blowing my horn when I say I’m a good rider and know enough to own a horse!

That’s the internet for you, anything can be used against you at any time! Can I not get brownie points for listening to advise back then??
 
Tillytiger said:
Well I’ve been riding solidly 6 years, I didn’t end up buying a green horse then, my mum also would have killed me! I carried on riding my mums horses and sharing a horse and bought one last year when I felt I was ready, which I was. He was green but I paid a groom to bring him back into work which was about 3 weeks of regular riding and I carried on his training with my experienced yard and never had any problems.

I don’t understand your point about my post in 2015? Surprisingly people Progress, in that time I’ve hunted a lot, helped back my friends youngster and been as involved as I can with my share horse and friends horses, I also rode from when I was a child until early teens so I wasn’t exactly a beginner in 2015 either.

I unfortunately no longer have my mum to ask advice otherwise I would have already.
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I wasn’t questioning your experience or what you had done in between in any way? I was hoping you could have relied on your experienced mum for advice and help, I’m very sorry to hear that isn’t possible
 
Winters100 said:
I don't think we can assume that OP feels nothing for the horse. The purpose of her post was to hear opinions about her position and possible solutions - adding a lot of detail about how she feels about it is not really necessary. Remember that while some people feel happy giving details about these things others are more private about their feelings, but it doe not mean that they are not just as upset as those who talk about it more openly.
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To be fair OP has cleared this up; she'd only had the horse herself for a few months and didn't enjoy riding in that time as a 'nervous novice'.
 
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holeymoley said:
Hm. I wasn’t sure whether to reply to this thread or not as I’ve never sold a horse. My logical thinking head says, why is YO and owner contacting you? The horse was sold as it was. The owner now has a contract with the YO. If new owner can’t handle the horse and hasn’t bothered to look after it, that is then the problem of the YO and a livery. I would not agree to have the horse back and certainly not on request of the YO. That would create some serious legal problems.

If you really are that detached from the horse, which it sounds like, then I’d explain to both YO and owner that it has nothing to do with you, the horse was agreed on and sold as it was. Then ignore or block them.

However. The part I can’t understand is why are they contacting you in the first place... has it been miss-sold?
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I do understand the yard owner messaging me as she’s at her wits end with it all! She’s also been asking questions about him which I’ve been more than happy to answer. She rode him out at my yard and was offered a trial. The information I was originally given by her, she would more than be able to deal with him. I sent her a list of his “quirks” and how I overcome them, she was grateful for the advice and confident she could handle it as I have.

She turned out to be a complete beginner and I’m guessing her friends were helping her answer some of my questions because she didn’t appear that way to me. She over horsed herself and the situation went south quickly.

She was originally looking for a 16+hh ISH with a scopey jump to replace her loan ISH who retired! Turned out that horse never existed and thank god she didn’t get what she was originally looking for
 
Tillytiger said:
Thank you, admittedly I was a 19 year old who got back into riding and thought I knew it all! However I took everyone advise and continued to share a horse for 2 years, loaned a horse that I hunted for 2 years and spent a year, behind borrowing and stealing horses to hack for an hour until I found my horse that I paid to bring back into work and never had any issues with! I’m not blowing my horn when I say I’m a good rider and know enough to own a horse!

That’s the internet for you, anything can be used against you at any time! Can I not get brownie points for listening to advise back then??
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OP, you don't need to justify your reasons for buying a horse, your experience, or your reasons for selling. Your questions to the forum in 2015 are not relevant to this current situation at all.

As someone else said up thread, you have not done anything wrong during the sale (we assume so anyway - unless the horse was miss-sold, in which case you are not telling us the whole story!). I would personally contact the BHS and ask for legal advice. Document all the discussions with the buyer and the new YO, e-mails, texts, the lot, with dates. Tell the new YO that you sold the horse in good faith, the buyer tried the horse and was offered a vetting. If she wants to start abandonment proceedings, then it's up to her, but you are not in a position to take the horse back. Be clear, and don't let emotions get in the way!

Good luck, and let us know how you get on.

.
 
OP you have had the courage and wisdom to realise that riding is not for you anymore and you have sold your pony in good faith. It really now is someone else's problem so please don't put yourself through any more agonising. The buyer owns him, the YO runs the yard where he is kept. If there are problems with the horse or between the buyer and the YO it is up to them to sort it out and it really won't help you to get involved any further. Having stated firmly to both of them that you are not in a position to take him back then the matter is closed. If they approach again just tell them that you are unable to enter into any further discussions on the matter.
If the YO completes the abandonment procedure then the horse will be hers to sell and she will know how to go about that.
 
Tillytiger said:
I do understand the yard owner messaging me as she’s at her wits end with it all! She’s also been asking questions about him which I’ve been more than happy to answer. She rode him out at my yard and was offered a trial. The information I was originally given by her, she would more than be able to deal with him. I sent her a list of his “quirks” and how I overcome them, she was grateful for the advice and confident she could handle it as I have.

She turned out to be a complete beginner and I’m guessing her friends were helping her answer some of my questions because she didn’t appear that way to me. She over horsed herself and the situation went south quickly.

She was originally looking for a 16+hh ISH with a scopey jump to replace her loan ISH who retired! Turned out that horse never existed and thank god she didn’t get what she was originally looking for
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In which case, it has nothing more to do with you as a seller. It is now up to the new owner to seek help. I’m glad the Yo seems to have her head screwed on with things, hopefully she’ll make the girl see sense and get help or sell it on.

What a sad situation for everyone :(
 
Levrier said:
I wasn’t questioning your experience or what you had done in between in any way? I was hoping you could have relied on your experienced mum for advice and help, I’m very sorry to hear that isn’t possible
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What total BS! Epic backtracking!
Your post did nothing except very nastily call her experience into question!
 
conniegirl said:
What total BS! Epic backtracking!
Your post did nothing except very nastily call her experience into question!
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Oh are you on the band wagon again? How tedious.... read the post, I asked what advice her mother had given, sadly her mother is no longer available to advise her. You really don’t have much to do apart from find supposed hidden meanings behind everything I post have you? How sad.....
 
Tillytiger said:
I do understand the yard owner messaging me as she’s at her wits end with it all! She’s also been asking questions about him which I’ve been more than happy to answer. She rode him out at my yard and was offered a trial. The information I was originally given by her, she would more than be able to deal with him. I sent her a list of his “quirks” and how I overcome them, she was grateful for the advice and confident she could handle it as I have.

She turned out to be a complete beginner and I’m guessing her friends were helping her answer some of my questions because she didn’t appear that way to me. She over horsed herself and the situation went south quickly.

She was originally looking for a 16+hh ISH with a scopey jump to replace her loan ISH who retired! Turned out that horse never existed and thank god she didn’t get what she was originally looking for
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you are not at fault in any way here. You don't want to ride anymore, honestly sold your horse, end of.

I suspect you are however a bit of a "pushover". :D you have offered help and the YO and buyer keep coming back in the hope of something. YO definitely in the hope you will remove the problem from her yard. :D
I wonder if you should be a little firmer and tell them that is it. End of it. New owner is clearly lost, possibly young if this is a pony and not wise enough to take advice. You are right in that thank goodness this was not a 16hh horse.

I can see selling a horse you liked would be very traumatic but I think now you just have to distance yourself and tell them that is it. You can do no more.
 
What a horrible situation OP. I think I understand why the YO contacted you hoping that you were in a position to take the horse back. But it isnt her horse to sell. This young girl seems to have mislead you and the YO with her riding knowledge and abilities. If you can't take him back, its up to the YO to sort this out with the new owner.
What a dreadful situation this is.
 
Tillytiger said:
How much was the sale for? £1200, he’s only a pony and was fairly green although well behaved plus the corona virus, if it wasn’t for corona I would have asked for atleast £2k
How old is the horse? 9
How long did you have the horse before selling? Only a few months which she new
Did you ride/compete regularly with the horse? He was ridden 4-7 time’s a week by me and his 14 year old sharer. Never competed.
Why did you sell? I bought him to give me confidence as I had an accident years ago and although he was well behaved to ride I even hacked him alone once a week and the sharer always hacked him alone, I hated it! Didn’t enjoy it at all, tried other horses and hated it, I just don’t want to ride anymore, it’s like I’ve got a mental block and just can’t get excited about it!
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Thanks for clarifying those things. So in my opinion...you've got no attachment to the pony (short term owner) and you wanted him gone as you weren't enjoying the ride. That's fine. He was sold as seen (tried). The purchaser chose not to get a vetting done prior to purchase - her bad luck as if there is something not right with the pony, the vetting would have highlighted that. The contract is between you and the buyer. Nothing to do with the YO. Send the YO a message stating you'll have no futher communication with her regarding the matter. If the purchaser gets in touch again, explain you're not in a position to take the horse back and refund the money and as for he keeping the horse and you refunding, that is a ridiculous proposition. Let the purchaser sort the situation out. If worse comes to the worse and the pony has been abaondoned the YO will have to go through the channels and sort that out but that's nothing for you to be involved in. Good luck!
 
paddy555 said:
you are not at fault in any way here. You don't want to ride anymore, honestly sold your horse, end of.

I suspect you are however a bit of a "pushover". :D you have offered help and the YO and buyer keep coming back in the hope of something. YO definitely in the hope you will remove the problem from her yard. :D
I wonder if you should be a little firmer and tell them that is it. End of it. New owner is clearly lost, possibly young if this is a pony and not wise enough to take advice. You are right in that thank goodness this was not a 16hh horse.

I can see selling a horse you liked would be very traumatic but I think now you just have to distance yourself and tell them that is it. You can do no more.
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I know I’m a total push over, I want to make sure he is in a good home and happy! I think part of the reason I’ve not been firm is because I’m worried she will either totally disappear and I’ll always wonder if he’s okay but never know. Or she’ll do something stupid with him and that won’t be good news for either of them!

I want her to do the right thing and admit she isn’t a suitable home for him, weather he has anything underlying or not so we can find an appropriate home where he will be happy
 
ester said:
Are we only allowed to ask our mums now, no one else?
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What a very odd comment, wherever did I say that? Personally I refer to my mum a lot for advice on dog matters because she has a lifetime of experience, I was wondering whether the OP would also have that opportunity.
 
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