Vegan boyfriend...and hunting....

[Snowfilly]

I have a vegan work colleague who has become a good friend over the past year since she joined. I mentioned this thread to her, said it was bloodhounds and she says 'he's the type of vegan with his head up his $&@* who gives us a bad name.'

Interestingly, she is happy wih the idea of riding, keeps asking me questions about it and also keeps pets who are allowed meat from a local farm. Not all vegans are crazy!

I'd dump him, life is too short.

 

[Meredith]

Sorry are you suggesting my comments were controlling or his current behaviour, as i suspected the later but cannot see how what i have mentioned could be controlling?

His not yours. Just being cautious. Just read about signs of future behaviour.

 

[paddi22]

Go ahead and do it anyway. He needs to accept who you are and respect your beliefs/wishes, even if they clash with his. It's his choice to either live with it, or its a deal breaker for him and he leaves.

Personally I wouldn't want to be with a partner who would ban me from doing a longterm life goal and something I love. I don't think that is showing love on his part.

 

[Theocat]

I cannot see this lasting. Might as well finish it now so you can go hunting!

It's not necessarily controlling (depending on how/ what he said), but even if it isn't, presumably it is some kind of ultimatum on his part - he is not happy dating someone who will go hunting. He's made his feelings clear; I genuinely can't see you wanting to give up large parts of your lifestyle, so I honestly think the sooner you both move on the better. I suspect he is also wondering whether you are right for him ...

 

[ycbm]

This is my intention completely but he isn't at all convinced it's clean

He thinks bloodhounds catch live animals?

Then you should dump him because of his stupidity, never mind the hunting!

 

[Antw23uk]

This is my intention completely but he isn't at all convinced it's clean

Then he is a typical know nothing vegan know it all!

I've been looking into veganism recently, its kind of lead by me wanting to go vegetarian but they are all nuts, totally up themselves, horrendous lot and its really really put me off which is a shame!

 

[Chinchilla]

People who try and push their own beliefs on others are ridiculous. OP's bf sounds naive, and possibly brainwashed, by all the cyber vegans out there, saying all "hunters" are bunny killing criminals: they're not. I don't doubt that some flout the ban - but those are very few, I imagine.

OP, is he aware about the ban, and the penalties for not respecting it? Have you told him you're not actually going to be killing anything...?! Can you get him involved in some way so he sees the truth in what you're saying?
To be honest I would dump anyone who tried to impress their own beliefs on me so strongly to the extent that it was affecting how I lived my life(!!!) but it is entirely your choice whether you do that or not.
I actually wouldn't mind going vegan myself but the type of people who usually are vegan entirely put me off. I don't want to be seen to be one of them (that's an awful thing to say but they are a bit shall we say, persistent, and have a bit of a record for, and this is putting it politely, telling white lies to push their POV.)

 

[cobsarefab]

OP, if you want to go hunting you should. He has no right to say what you can and can't do. If you want to do this than you should. If push comes to shove I'd dump him and buy another horse.

 

[Blixen Vixen]

What’s your boyfriend’s objection to you having a riding horse? I say it as you mention he disagrees with what you do with the horse besides the hunting element. Does he understand that horses for most leisure riders are virtually pets, the amount of work they have to do is so minimal it’s negligable really. There would be no horses around if they didn’t have a job to do!

To be honest op it sounds like you guys are incompatible. Sorry but if your fundamental beliefs are so far apart that doesn’t augur well for a successful long term future.

 

[Bri101]

To clear up, I am not vegan myself although I don't disagree with their beliefs I just cant personally live by them myself! We do have pets (we live together) we have 8 rats and 3 hamsters (all his choice to buy them might I add)

The idea of dumping him and buying another horse did cross my mind during our debate!! ��

 

[tashcat]

Go with Bloodhounds - there is no vegan contradiction there.

I can understand he wants your support in his beliefs and lifestyle, but it is completely unacceptable to stop you from doing something you love on the basis of these ignorant, short sighted beliefs.

Snowfilly couldn't agree more about giving vegans a bad name!!

 

[Bri101]

What’s your boyfriend’s objection to you having a riding horse? I say it as you mention he disagrees with what you do with the horse besides the hunting element. Does he understand that horses for most leisure riders are virtually pets, the amount of work they have to do is so minimal it’s negligable really. There would be no horses around if they didn’t have a job to do!

To be honest op it sounds like you guys are incompatible. Sorry but if your fundamental beliefs are so far apart that doesn’t augur well for a successful long term future.

He disagrees with schooling of any sort, completely okay with hacking because in his mind it isn't "work" as such. He just disagrees with keeping a horse to use it, wouldn't have anything against it if he was a field ornament. He once told me I was cruel for cracking my lunge whip at my horse....

 

[Alec Swan]

Bri, I'm intrigued …. when 2 people live together and one is a vegan and the other is normal, what on earth happens at meal times? Do you both cook for yourselves? Do you have separate fridges so that one set of ingredients doesn't become infected by the other?

Alec.

 

[Abi90]

My Vegan friend is also in the RAF. She’s against animal suffering of any kind but she has joined an organisation where she may be called upon to kill other humans... and wears a uniform that has leather in it. How does that even work?!

 

[Chinchilla]

To clear up, I am not vegan myself although I don't disagree with their beliefs I just cant personally live by them myself! We do have pets (we live together) we have 8 rats and 3 hamsters (all his choice to buy them might I add)

The idea of dumping him and buying another horse did cross my mind during our debate!! ��

Considering how (some) petshops treat animals and where they get their animals from (rodent mills), I'm fairly shocked to hear someone who won't let their OH go draghunting supports petshops. That is, to me, fairly hypocritical, though some may disagree.

 

[Alec Swan]

My Vegan friend is also in the RAF. …….. she has joined an organisation where she may be called upon to kill other humans... ?!

Presumably with a gun in her hands she'd shoot to miss …….. and then die in the process. I knew someone who took that stance once and I was a pallbearer at the idiot's funeral!

Alec.

 

[Snowfilly]

Hi Alec, my vegan friend lives with a distinctly none vegan fella. She is a great cook and normally preps packed lunches for them both and he'll add some meat or fish to it later. Dinner, he figures eating vegan is a small price to pay for not having to cook!

She will cook with eggs and diary for him but not meat. They have one fridge with seperate shelves and isn't bothered about anyone eating meat around her. I'm nosey and also a vegetarian so I asked lots of questions when I'm round there.

To be fair, I think she is an unusual type of vegan and she distances herself from a lot of their practices and beliefs. She hates PETA and the RSPCA with a passion! She also believes it's better for animals to engage with humans and work to keep their kinds and bodies active - she loves dog agility and finds riding fascinating - I think I could persuade her to try quite easily.

 

[Abi90]

Presumably with a gun in her hands she'd shoot to miss …….. and then die in the process. I knew someone who took that stance once and I was a pallbearer at the idiot's funeral!

Alec.

Rather more worryingly, her job is conducted in relative safety but she could be partially responsible for the death of many. Whilst wearing her leather shoes! She does the same job as me and I cannot understand how you can’t eat cheese because it’s immoral but can reconcile yourself with doing what we do!

 

[Bri101]

Considering how (some) petshops treat animals and where they get their animals from (rodent mills), I'm fairly shocked to hear someone who won't let their OH go draghunting supports petshops. That is, to me, fairly hypocritical, though some may disagree.

I completely agree and have mentioned this to him, however he believes he is not supporting pet shops but in fact saving the animals sold within them! Very backwards

 

[Alec Swan]

I completely agree and have mentioned this to him, however he believes he is not supporting pet shops but in fact saving the animals sold within them! Very backwards

Backwards? Stooopid too. My opinion hasn't changed …. Dump Him!

Alec.

 

[ROMANY 1959]

I would not let anyone dictate what I do... everyone has their own beliefs and ideas , but to cow tow to another just to keep the peace is the short end of being dictated too. Does he tell you not to wear leather boots? Or what you eat yourself..

 

[Bri101]

Bri, I'm intrigued …. when 2 people live together and one is a vegan and the other is normal, what on earth happens at meal times? Do you both cook for yourselves? Do you have separate fridges so that one set of ingredients doesn't become infected by the other?

Alec.

We originally had separate shelves in the fridge and I didn't eat meat on nights he was home (he worked night shifts at the time) however after about 6 months I gave up with this so started eating veggie

 

[Chinchilla]

I completely agree and have mentioned this to him, however he believes he is not supporting pet shops but in fact saving the animals sold within them! Very backwards

By giving them money? Well. Urmh. Alright then. Not quite sure what to say to that to be honest lol - basically agree with Alec, and everyone else, at this point. (Sorry!)

 

[cobgoblin]

He disagrees with schooling of any sort, completely okay with hacking because in his mind it isn't "work" as such. He just disagrees with keeping a horse to use it, wouldn't have anything against it if he was a field ornament. He once told me I was cruel for cracking my lunge whip at my horse....

So he would be OK with you hacking out an ill mannered, untrained horse that might be a danger to yourself and everyone else?

Are you sure this guy has any brain cells?

 

[Bri101]

I would not let anyone dictate what I do... everyone has their own beliefs and ideas , but to cow tow to another just to keep the peace is the short end of being dictated too. Does he tell you not to wear leather boots? Or what you eat yourself..

He never told me to give anything up just pushed me to the point of giving them up with the comments I got anytime I did something. I stopped wearing my favourite pair of shoes (red doc martens) after all the comments I got when wearing them.

 

[cremedemonthe]

Backwards? Stooopid too. My opinion hasn't changed …. Dump Him!

Alec.

Same here Alec

 

[Abi90]

Having read your latest replies, I suggest you dump him. Your lifestyles are not compatible. Let him find a vegan to be fanatical with

 

[cobgoblin]

He never told me to give anything up just pushed me to the point of giving them up with the comments I got anytime I did something. I stopped wearing my favourite pair of shoes (red doc martens) after all the comments I got when wearing them.

Wear them! It means the animal didn't die for nothing.

 

[RaposadeGengibre]

He never told me to give anything up just pushed me to the point of giving them up with the comments I got anytime I did something. I stopped wearing my favourite pair of shoes (red doc martens) after all the comments I got when wearing them.

Here you go... You gave up eating meat, wearing leather shoes, he is pushing you out of the horse world.... Whats next? Only vegan friends are accepted after being screened by him?

 

[cobgoblin]

Goodness girl!

Put on the doc martens, go out and buy a burger and tell him you are going hunting and he can either deal with it or push off.