Worst thing the cat's done.

[Boulty]

Horrid brought us a mouse for Xmas, how thoughtful although his wrapping skills could do with work!

This led to a totally serious conversation with one of the vets I work with (who was in today & is also in tomorrow) about whether we could feed it to the kestrel that got brought in today since all our chicks & mice have mysteriously disappeared!

This then led to me driving to her house to drop it off (via me realising I’d forgotten her house no & that the road layout where she lives has changed and having to call work to check it!)

 

[Ratface]

Madam Carrie Cat has reviewed the photos on this thread. We Are Not Amused.
She has had no presents, other than the four packets of different-flavoured Dreamies which Cat Slave has bought her. She's had them before. She wants Something Different. Something Special. And no - a dab of butter will not do . . .

 

[Boulty]

The kestrel did not want Horrid’s mouse apparently (in hindsight it probs should have gone in the freezer overnight)… he wonders if Madam Carrie might like to sample it if he asked for it back? Or would she prefer he caught her a fresh one? He might be able to persuade his staff to giftwrap it in a box with tissue paper (he reckons tissue paper is better than presents anyway!)

 

[Ratface]

M

The kestrel did not want Horrid’s mouse apparently (in hindsight it probs should have gone in the freezer overnight)… he wonders if Madam Carrie might like to sample it if he asked for it back? Or would she prefer he caught her a fresh one? He might be able to persuade his staff to giftwrap it in a box with tissue paper (he reckons tissue paper is better than presents anyway!)

View attachment 131086

Madam Carrie Cat is quite taken with Horrid. A handsome fellow. She's concerned about the unfortunate nature of his name. HORRID??? That's going to RUIN his self-esteem. She has the local Cat's Protection Society team on speed dial. She has Cat Slave under her paw. Just tell him and she'll get onto them about it.
She is impressed with the offer of a freshly-murderd piece of mouse, but sadly must decline. Cat Slave loves mice and rats, but they have to be alive. Humans are such a disappointment in many ways, but hers is a quick study. She's just brought new, expensive cat sweets back from The Expensive Clattery Thing's Slave and her staff. She's told them about me and the fact that I'm mostly "Staaarved". She got two tins biscuits and some expensive cheeses. Good show. I'm partial to a little piece of cheese.
Unfortunately, the biscuit tins weren't wrapped in tissue paper. I shall issue orders in the morning. Mustn't let standards slip.
Laters, Dhaaaarlings.
Madam Carrie Cat.

 

[Boulty]

Horrid shall investigate the possibilities for live posting. He assures her that his full name of Horatio (Nelson) is very posh but he quite enjoys the notoriety of the nickname he acquired for being a particularly demanding and destructive kitten (the things you have to do to train the staff correctly!) He’s worried that standards are slipping through… the small, humiliating cat bed that he has been forcing his minion to use has disappeared and been replaced by one you could probably fit a small Labrador in… he thinks it’s highly unfair that I’ve taken this bit of entertainment out of his life by giving the dog a bigger bed. It has not yet dawned on him that the new bed is HIS (& that indeed its smaller predecessor was supposed to be his not the dogs!)

 

[Ratface]

Madam Cat sends feline felicitations to Admiral Lord Horatio Nelson. Coincidentally, Slave is a distant relative to your namesake.
Inform your Slave that anything less than prompt and perfect service will not do.
They are definitely Lower Ranks. They should remember their place, or there will be consequences.
As for the dog - that had better watch its' step, as well.
Re: beds. Take over Slave's bed. Warmer, larger and Slave is within easy paw and claw reach should one require anything in the dark hours.
I look forward to hearing from you. Any more insubordination - just let me know.
Yours,
Madam Carrie Cat.

 

[Crazy_cat_lady]

Not a bad thing as actually it's really sweet how she carries it around - however was sat having a wee and glanced down and it scared the s**t out of me as I thought it was real!!! It's her rather realistic looking ratty toy, which she loves carrying around - I think it didn't help the last time I saw it it was downstairs and that was only 10 minutes ago!

 

[Rumtytum]

Not a bad thing as actually it's really sweet how she carries it around - however was sat having a wee and glanced down and it scared the s**t out of me as I thought it was real!!! It's her rather realistic looking ratty toy, which she loves carrying around - I think it didn't help the last time I saw it it was downstairs and that was only 10 minutes ago!

View attachment 131564

It is very realistic!

 

[ycbm]

however was sat having a wee and glanced down and it scared the s**t out of me

Well that's appropriate

 

[FinnishLapphund]

... however was sat having a wee and glanced down and it scared the s**t out of me ...

Well that's appropriate

Depends on the timing, if the scared the s**t out of me = involuntary jump + squeal mid weeing in a speed too fast for an immediate emergency pause message to reach the neither regions, it can "hypothetically" lead to a bit of wee landing where you don't want it, and you'll need to clean it up.



Not that I'm talking out of own experience, of course not.

 

[ycbm]

Depends on the timing, if the scared the s**t out of me = involuntary jump + squeal mid weeing in a speed too fast for an immediate emergency pause message to reach the neither regions, it can "hypothetically" lead to a bit of wee landing where you don't want it, and you'll need to clean it up.



Not that I'm talking out of own experience, of course not.

Too much detail ?
.

 

[Shady]

Thought I'd best share this as it's certainly up there with one of the worst things one of my cats has done

I didn't realise that my oldest Gremkitty MiniMe had thrown up on my hand held fan and it had all seeped inside onto the blades.
I then automatically grabbed it and switched it on high when I got a hot flush........

Still picking bits of puke out of my hair
And my eyebrows
And my mouth (which I stupidly opened to scream WTAF)

 

[NinjaPony]

Thought I'd best share this as it's certainly up there with one of the worst things one of my cats has done

I didn't realise that my oldest Gremkitty MiniMe had thrown up on my hand held fan and it had all seeped inside onto the blades.
I then automatically grabbed it and switched it on high when I got a hot flush........

Still picking bits of puke out of my hair
And my eyebrows
And my mouth (which I stupidly opened to scream WTAF)

That is nightmare fuel!!!

 

[Rumtytum]

Thought I'd best share this as it's certainly up there with one of the worst things one of my cats has done

I didn't realise that my oldest Gremkitty MiniMe had thrown up on my hand held fan and it had all seeped inside onto the blades.
I then automatically grabbed it and switched it on high when I got a hot flush........

Still picking bits of puke out of my hair
And my eyebrows
And my mouth (which I stupidly opened to scream WTAF)

Really, truly, horribly, ghastly Shady!
I usually laugh at others’ misfortunes but this one is just
If ever we collect these posts and write a book it absolutely has to be the opener

 

[Shady]

That is nightmare fuel!!!

I know right
And look at all those meanies laughing at me

* spits another morsel of cat puke out*

 

[ycbm]

Thought I'd best share this as it's certainly up there with one of the worst things one of my cats has done

I didn't realise that my oldest Gremkitty MiniMe had thrown up on my hand held fan and it had all seeped inside onto the blades.
I then automatically grabbed it and switched it on high when I got a hot flush........

Still picking bits of puke out of my hair
And my eyebrows
And my mouth (which I stupidly opened to scream WTAF)

Sorry, trying hard to stop laughing but it's not working

 

[Shady]

Really, truly, horribly, ghastly Shady!
I usually laugh at others’ misfortunes but this one is just
If ever we collect these posts and write a book it absolutely has to be the opener

Lol
Oh it's up there on the gross factor for sure Rumptytum , but having 7 cats with giardia once, tops it I think. I certainly remember the end of my hair trailing in one particularly large and fragrant puddle of poop, which I then flicked all over myself...and the walls

 

[Shady]

Sorry, trying hard to stop laughing but it's not working

Hmmmm, just how hard did you try on a scale of one to ten? x

 

[oldandgold]

Myother half now thinks I've totally lost the plot laughing

 

[Shady]

Myother half now thinks I've totally lost the plot laughing

Honestly, as if it couldn't get any worse, my OH Rob, on hearing me screeching my head off, comes running up from the basement thinking there's a home invasion or something , only to find me frantically picking bits of vomit off my face, and then when I tell him what's happened , he promptly starts gagging all over the kitchen, which then set the two Weims off, who came rushing in and very quickly realized that mum was covered in a particularly prized food group, and were like, ' quick lets eat her'

 

[MereChristmas]

Honestly, as if it couldn't get any worse, my OH Rob, on hearing me screeching my head off, comes running up from the basement thinking there's a home invasion or something , only to find me frantically picking bits of vomit off my face, and then when I tell him what's happened , he promptly starts gagging all over the kitchen, which then set the two Weims off, who came rushing in and very quickly realized that mum was covered in a particularly prized food group, and were like, ' quick lets eat her'

Sorry, just had to put

 

[Tiddlypom]

OH, dog and cat all sharing the sofa while keeping out of the way of the plasterer who was fettling the kitchen and the hall.

Can’t see the cat? There’s a lump under the throw just above and to the right of the TV remote…

Cat later had to be evicted from the plasterer’s van before he packed up and left.



(We are experimenting with different coloured throws before committing to new soft furnishings. This colour shows up JRT hairs).

 

[SilverLinings]

That is excellent cat hiding skills TP, I am very impressed

 

[Gloi]

That is excellent cat hiding skills TP, I am very impressed

I'm ashamed to say I sat on my cat after she exhibited similar skills.

 

[Ratface]

I'm ashamed to say I sat on my cat after she exhibited similar skills.

Madam Carrie Cat has Cat's Protection on speed dial. Dm Slave and she'll do it for you. Don't delay. Cat Slave is very good at instant awakening at the touch of A Heavy Paw. Anywhere.

 

[Snow Falcon]

Why does Tilly cat think that hurtling around the house at nearly 12.30am crashing into things is appreciated?

 

[Tiddlypom]

As part of the long overdue house refurb and sitting room redecoration we’ve finally got rid of the ugly childsafe guard around the fireplace and hearth.

The JRT is trained not to venture onto the hearth. She is looking in a wtf way at the cat who doesn’t do training. That’s a hot open coal fire…



Maybe it was a bit warm there after all… Dog says ‘Told you so’.

 

[FinnishLapphund]

…
Maybe it was a bit warm there after all… Dog says ‘Told you so’.

View attachment 132388

Or maybe after reaching the just perfect amount of warmth, the cat decided it was time to move to another spot?

 

[Gloi]

Madam Carrie Cat has Cat's Protection on speed dial. Dm Slave and she'll do it for you. Don't delay. Cat Slave is very good at instant awakening at the touch of A Heavy Paw. Anywhere.

Sadly she is no more (old age, nothing to do with being sat on) or I'm sure she'd take Madame Carrie up on her offer.

 

[Ratface]

View attachment 132394
Sadly she is no more (old age, nothing to do with being sat on) or I'm sure she'd take Madame Carrie up on her offer.

Wow! That is the best "Don't You Know Who I Am?" pose and expression that I've seen in a long time!
"Slave! Peel me a mouse!!"