Would you consider buying this horse?

[Ellietotz]

Just say that you're really disappointed that it didn't work out the way you'd hoped and expected. If she wants to blame you, walk away, let her and move on.

At least this trial has opened your eyes to some potential problems you hadn't foreseen and you can get some plans in place to make the turnout arrangements work when you are ready to buy a horse.

I have. I've told her these things happen, they're just being horses etc and she keeps telling me that she is worried he is going to be messed up etc and how it's because of my mare. I've tried saying goodnight but she keeps coming back with more.
This situation is just a mess now.

 

[brighteyes]

I have. I've told her these things happen, they're just being horses etc and she keeps telling me that she is worried he is going to be messed up etc and how it's because of my mare. I've tried saying goodnight but she keeps coming back with more.
This situation is just a mess now.

Block her or turn off her texts. It's late, you are overwrought and things always seem worse at night. You have tried and it hasn't worked. So what - apart from your mare has scrapes?

He'll settle at home and all will be better tomorrow. Draw a line under it and move on.

Hope your mare is OK

 

[Ownedby4horses]

OP, I’m afraid the owner is sounding slightly bonkers. Just block her and let her rant on her own time.

 

[southerncomfort]

I really feel for you. Its all turned in to a bit of a nightmare and the owner sounds a bit crackers.

Why not start a new thread with a list of what you're looking for in a new pony and let the legendary HHO horse hunters see what they can find?

In the meantime is their a RS or trekking centre near you that offers hacks? I think I mentioned before that its enormously helpful to hack out on a steady Eddie when you're confidence has taken a knock.

 

[Winters100]

OP, I’m afraid the owner is sounding slightly bonkers. Just block her and let her rant on her own time.

She really does sound crackers. She sent the horse on trial, knowing he would be with a mare, and now says it has messed him up? And quite frankly OPs field is over the road from hers, so if she was too lazy to have a walk around and check the fencing and pasture then she has only herself to blame.

Personally I would not block her, but would just try to diffuse the situation by answering calmly and infrequently.

 

[Ellietotz]

She really does sound crackers. She sent the horse on trial, knowing he would be with a mare, and now says it has messed him up? And quite frankly OPs field is over the road from hers, so if she was too lazy to have a walk around and check the fencing and pasture then she has only herself to blame.

Personally I would not block her, but would just try to diffuse the situation by answering calmly and infrequently.

I have been really polite with her and I'm not sure she is quite understanding as she is telling me to let it go, that she is so hurt and upset by it, she feels sorry for her poor boy etc. I am really trying to stay calm and tell her it's all fine, he is fine, it is done now etc. I think I will just stop replying to her now or only reply infrequently as you say, I've tried diffusing it all and I don't want to continue to take the blame for it.

 

[Flowerofthefen]

I think if you had viewed this horse in the normal way you would have bought him and sorted out issues as they arose, like we all do, but because you know him and have tried him several times you get to see his bad points aswell. Whether that's a good or bad thing I don't know!!

 

[Ellietotz]

I think if you had viewed this horse in the normal way you would have bought him and sorted out issues as they arose, like we all do, but because you know him and have tried him several times you get to see his bad points aswell. Whether that's a good or bad thing I don't know!!

This is it. I think if I'd have bought in a normal way, I'd have worked on the group riding thing but the living with my mare situation was very important and if he is tearing up her back escaping and mounting her, that wouldn't work so that along with the severe separation anxiety would have been a going back to seller request or selling on as gelding only turnout and not to be left alone sort of set up as I can't facilitate this. If he really was perfect in every other way then I'd have found a solution but sadly there were many issues and it wouldn't be worth it.

 

[Odyssey]

She really has got a problem! It's a shame that it hasn't worked out, but the only damage has occurred to your gate and your mare. Nothing has happened to her horse, he'll be fine. I, too, would block her very soon if she continues to contact you - there's nothing more to be said, and she will just continue to stress and upset you about something that's done and dusted. Goodness knows why she can't just accept what's happened and move on.

 

[brighteyes]

I have been really polite with her and I'm not sure she is quite understanding as she is telling me to let it go, that she is so hurt and upset by it, she feels sorry for her poor boy etc. I am really trying to stay calm and tell her it's all fine, he is fine, it is done now etc. I think I will just stop replying to her now or only reply infrequently as you say, I've tried diffusing it all and I don't want to continue to take the blame for it.

I loaned a mare out and after two weeks of being fine, the gelding got kicked on his manly part because she was teasing him and he was being a responsive gelding. She rang me to collect her, which I did, reluctantly as the loan was perfect otherwise.
FF a month and she contacted me again to say she was sorry, could they try again. FF to eight years later and the mare was PTS through a 'no-fault' tragic, turnout accident with nothing else involved after a smooth and uneventful loan. We are still friends from pre 2008 and I have just fixed her up with yet another loan! No need for nonsense behaviour.