Would you consider buying this horse?

[Ellietotz]

My amazing first horse, Pinto, was very similar to your new guy. I was an extremely nervous first-time owner with severe PTSD after a riding acciden, and although I was competent enough on school horses, getting my first private horse was an eye opening experience.

I didn’t canter him for 6 months (actually i didn’t canter Tartine for 6 months either ?). It took time for him to settle into a new routine, after being stuck in someone’s back garden for 8 years, he was now in a different environment. He loved hacking, and solo he was an angel, though he had definite ideas of what pace he should be going, and it took a long time for him to realise he could walk along certain paths. He never calmed down in a group though, and even after 8 years I was never comfortable hacking in a group (more than 2 others) because he *had* to be at the front and would pull like a train until he got there, and then he completely chilled out. But because he wasn’t the fastest in the world (being a 14.3 cob), if we were trotting or cantering in a group he became a nightmare. So I just didn’t do it.

Pinto didn’t like schooling, I didn’t like hacking; however over time Pinto tolerated schooling, and I learned to enjoy (solo) hacking. I learned to laugh at his spooking as silly things, because he only ever spooked when I was confident.

I was a much more confident rider when I bought Tartine, as soon as I bought her my confidence completely disappeared. She was much, much more sensitive than i had anticipated, and she spooked at everything, which included 180 pirouettes, levitating to the side and running away. But as soon as I saw her I knew she was for me, we worked through our issues - over time. We’ve definitely had ups and downs along the way, but that is just life.

Anyway... the point of this yarning is basically to say - no horse is foot perfect from day 1; you need to learn each other, your quirks and foibles. There is only so much you can change about their inherent personality. I think you either click first time or you don’t.

Tartine sounds like my mare!
I love hacking solo which seemingly he has been good at other than the one time he was really lazy and calling for his mate the whole time. He was also good in company with his field mate so perhaps he can't cope with being out with more than one either. I do want to make it work. He is so sweet, he comes over and says hello to me in the field. He does have negatives but they all will I suppose. I did want to be able to hack with two others as I'd always done this regularly but perhaps if they were just doing a plod round the block he would be okay but if not, then I could live with that. Maybe cantering in a group was too much for him!

 

[Ellietotz]

Because your mare has nowleft him and gone off to do her own thing.

Yes, you're probably right. I just didn't think he'd be that attached to her already. He still has horses surrounding him for company.

 

[Ellietotz]

What’s he like if you ride him in the arena with other horses working in there too?

I'm on a private yard so I don't have this option to find out. He is fine out on the forest with lots of other animals moving around though, he doesn't try to go after them if they are on the move and although he felt wired last night when the stampede flew passed us, he didn't bomb off so that's a bonus.

 

[Kat]

I think you really need to have a think about whether you actually want to own a riding horse now or whether your confidence and the situation with your mare mean it would be better to get some lessons, hack a school horse and share/borrow. You might just not be in a position to commit to building a relationship with a new horse.

It seems fairly common that after having a wonderful beloved horse it is difficult to bond with "the replacement" especially if the old horse is still with you but retired. The constant comparisons, and the feelings of disloyalty sabotage the new relationship.

If you really want to have a new riding horse then this one sounds a good bet. He doesn't seem to have done anything dreadful and is generally safe (no horse is a saint, they can all have an off day and you have experienced what an off day looks like with him). The problem is you have doubts and are questioning yourself. You are wrapping yourself up in questions because this is a trial and you have options and because you want to replicate the feeling you had with your mare.

Realistically things weren't 100% perfect instantly with your mare, you are remembering the good stuff at the expense of the awkward settling in and getting to know eachother stuff. Plus if you didn't have a trial you probably committed to her sooner and were motivated to make it work rather than mentally hedging your bets.

If you want a riding horse and would genuinely be gutted if he was sold elsewhere commit to him get out daily with one sensible companion, book some lessons on him, build a relationship and confidence in eachother and give him a fair chance.

If your confidence is too fragile or you think you have over-horsed yourself, if you don't like him or you need longer to get over your mare's retirement then send him back asap.

 

[stormox]

Dont buy him. If you really wanted him you would find a way round problems. Talk about inventing scenarios that probably wont occur!!

 

[SpotsandBays]

I'm on a private yard so I don't have this option to find out. He is fine out on the forest with lots of other animals moving around though, he doesn't try to go after them if they are on the move and although he felt wired last night when the stampede flew passed us, he didn't bomb off so that's a bonus.

Have you got a paddock or something safe enough to ride in? If I were you, before the end of the trial I would have a ride around somewhere enclosed with some other horses too and see if it’s just a “excited about new horses” thing. I’d test out various different things/situations (safely) and see how he copes. It’s so hard to judge an animal with just a week as some take much longer to settle. I like the sound of him, but I think you’ll need to put some time/money/work into getting him where you want him to be, so it just depends if that is what you are willing to do. I reckon some work with a good professional (on the ground and in the saddle) will be beneficial. Good luck, whatever you choose!

 

[brighteyes]

I'm not a positive kind of person lol!

I am a huge pessimist but VERY stubborn!

 

[brighteyes]

Yes, you're probably right. I just didn't think he'd be that attached to her already. He still has horses surrounding him for company.

He's being a HORSE! They need the security and reassurance of others. More so in new situations and if their old company has gone and there are new horses he doesn't know/rank with. You, I'm afraid, will be inconsequential and no help at all, initially.

 

[Winters100]

From what you have written it sounds to me as if you are not ready to buy. Nothing wrong with that, maybe just take the pressure off and find a good riding school, ride lots of different horses, then you can take your time deciding what you really want. Nothing that you have described would make me think twice about buying, but it clearly bothers you a lot, and if in doubt don't buy. It sounds like the seller has been really great letting you use the horse many times to try, so I think you should be straightforward with her about your doubts. You come over as being very nervous and lacking in confidence, I also had a stage like this and it is hard to get through, but if this is not the horse to get you over your fears, and it does not sound like he is, then don't buy. You seem to be very 'up and down' about him, one day saying that he made you feel really safe and the next saying that he made you nervous. Perhaps you just need a bit more time before buying? Do remember that no horse is always a better than the wrong horse. Good luck!

 

[indie1282]

Tbh he doesn't sound right for you. You don't sound 100% committed and I think you should take a step back. I would write a checklist of what you want then see how many boxes he ticks.

I also think the owner seemed a bit to concerned about if you would still buy him after your incident ? I would wonder if maybe there is more to it.

Can you not look in to getting something on loan?

 

[AmyMay]

I think you really need to have a think about whether you actually want to own a riding horse now or whether your confidence and the situation with your mare mean it would be better to get some lessons, hack a school horse and share/borrow. You might just not be in a position to commit to building a relationship with a new horse.

It seems fairly common that after having a wonderful beloved horse it is difficult to bond with "the replacement" especially if the old horse is still with you but retired. The constant comparisons, and the feelings of disloyalty sabotage the new relationship.

If you really want to have a new riding horse then this one sounds a good bet. He doesn't seem to have done anything dreadful and is generally safe (no horse is a saint, they can all have an off day and you have experienced what an off day looks like with him). The problem is you have doubts and are questioning yourself. You are wrapping yourself up in questions because this is a trial and you have options and because you want to replicate the feeling you had with your mare.

Realistically things weren't 100% perfect instantly with your mare, you are remembering the good stuff at the expense of the awkward settling in and getting to know eachother stuff. Plus if you didn't have a trial you probably committed to her sooner and were motivated to make it work rather than mentally hedging your bets.

If you want a riding horse and would genuinely be gutted if he was sold elsewhere commit to him get out daily with one sensible companion, book some lessons on him, build a relationship and confidence in eachother and give him a fair chance.

If your confidence is too fragile or you think you have over-horsed yourself, if you don't like him or you need longer to get over your mare's retirement then send him back asap.

Teally sensible advice.

 

[Winters100]

Can you not look in to getting something on loan?

Actually Indie is right - a loan would be perfect!

 

[ycbm]

He petrified me

I didn't feel safe

the fact that he is a lot bigger and stronger than what I'm used to makes me nervous

It doesn't sound like this is the right horse for you, or possibly the right horse but not at the right time.
.

 

[Ellietotz]

Actually Indie is right - a loan would be perfect!

I'd love one if I could find something!

 

[Ellietotz]

I think I have sadly made up my mind. This was my list on him:

Pros:
Can hack alone
Not sharp (when alone)

Cons:
Sharp and spooky when in company in a group
Has to tank to the front in company
Strong
Not always easy to handle
Separation issues
Bigger than I wanted
Acts riggy with my mare

I discovered from the other sharer who takes him out with others who aren't his field mates and that is normal behaviour. He has to tank to the front in company, he gets sharp and strong.
I spend 50% of my time riding with my two friends so having to deal with that isn't going to work. If he was the same in company as he is on his own then he would be ideal and it would outweigh the cons but that situation last night was how one girl broke her back coming off him.

I took my mare out for a brush tonight, only about 10 feet from the field in clear sight and he ran around calling the entire time too which is also not going to work.

 

[EllenJay]

Brave decision - but I think the right one for you.

 

[indie1282]

I'd love one if I could find something!

Put a wanted ad out? What area are you in, maybe someone on here has or knows of something suitable?

 

[Ellietotz]

Put a wanted ad out? What area are you in, maybe someone on here has or knows of something suitable?

Thank you, I'm in South East area. I will look at putting an ad up.

 

[Lois Lame]

He has been absolutely fine for the last 4 days and not cared at all so I mean why more so now.

Who has been riding him lately? Previously he had several riders, as I understand it, and now perhaps only one.

 

[Ellietotz]

Who has been riding him lately? Previously he had several riders, as I understand it, and now perhaps only one.

Yes, about 4 people in total.

Wish I'd moved him back last night.

He managed to break down the gate and has torn up her back. I have no words for how I feel right now. :'(

 

[Ownedby4horses]

You weren’t to know and these things happen. You can’t blame yourself that it hasn’t worked out and that’s he’s damaged the gate. How injured is your mare?

Get him back today and do not feel guilty, it is always difficult with a new horse but there is a horse out there for you and he will find the right human also.

Try not to worry so much. x

 

[DizzyDoughnut]

I'm so sorry it didn't work out. Is your mare is OK?

 

[Ellietotz]

You weren’t to know and these things happen. You can’t blame yourself that it hasn’t worked out and that’s he’s damaged the gate. How injured is your mare?

Get him back today and do not feel guilty, it is always difficult with a new horse but there is a horse out there for you and he will find the right human also.

Try not to worry so much. x

He has torn the skin off her back on one side, about 6cm long and 1cm wide, another patch next to it about the size of a 50p coin, very swollen. Looks like he has tried mounting her. Other side there are a few patches where he has torn the skin off.
All superficial by the looks of it but she is very stiff. Luckily we had the osteopath booked in.

He has gone, I moved him back as soon as I heard.

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

When you look for your next horse, I would narrow your search to mares. Some gelding/mare pairings work well but with a horse you don't know, I would avoid the potential problems. I hope the mare is ok.

 

[Annagain]

Sorry it hasn't worked out Ellietotz.

For what it's worth I have a new boy after 15 years of my two (now elderly) horses and even though he's been an absolute star I've struggled, confidence wise. I never had any confidence whacking issues with either of them but that worked against me - simply because I knew exactly where I was with them and all of a sudden I was being thrown into the unknown. Things that were never a problem with them, I was suddenly worried about because "he's not Arch / Mont". Actually he's the perfect mix of the two - generally unflappable (pigs aside ) like Arch, but not as strong and rude; and as compliant as Mont but more forward. It's taken a while for me to realise that and to stop worrying that he's going to be different - different is fine, it just takes a bit of getting used to.

You will find the right one but even when you do, you'll struggle to begin with. It's perfectly normal so don't beat yourself up about it. It took me a couple of months to canter on our local common, not because I was worried about cantering him but because it's totally open to the road with lots of dogs and people on it and I always had that "what if" at the back of my mind. Those "what ifs" are much smaller now but there are still times when I don't canter there as it's too busy. Taking things slowly is just fine.

 

[Ellietotz]

When you look for your next horse, I would narrow your search to mares. Some gelding/mare pairings work well but with a horse you don't know, I would avoid the potential problems. I hope the mare is ok.

Thank you. The osteo went well and she was surprised how mobile she actually is. She has had a good pamper.
The reason I hadn't looked for mares is because she gets so attached to them so I was hoping a gelding would be better but perhaps not!

 

[Ellietotz]

Sorry it hasn't worked out Ellietotz.

For what it's worth I have a new boy after 15 years of my two (now elderly) horses and even though he's been an absolute star I've struggled, confidence wise. I never had any confidence whacking issues with either of them but that worked against me - simply because I knew exactly where I was with them and all of a sudden I was being thrown into the unknown. Things that were never a problem with them, I was suddenly worried about because "he's not Arch / Mont". Actually he's the perfect mix of the two - generally unflappable (pigs aside ) like Arch, but not as strong and rude; and as compliant as Mont but more forward. It's taken a while for me to realise that and to stop worrying that he's going to be different - different is fine, it just takes a bit of getting used to.

You will find the right one but even when you do, you'll struggle to begin with. It's perfectly normal so don't beat yourself up about it. It took me a couple of months to canter on our local common, not because I was worried about cantering him but because it's totally open to the road with lots of dogs and people on it and I always had that "what if" at the back of my mind. Those "what ifs" are much smaller now but there are still times when I don't canter there as it's too busy. Taking things slowly is just fine.

Thank you.
He turned out more like an XXL version of my mare which is counterproductive sadly but the search continues. I'm not going to rush, he just happened to be for sale when I started riding him. Never mind.
I will take the next one slow, I'm just worried with her now, I'd rather not ride than her get hurt again.

 

[Ellietotz]

The owner is now blaming me for all this and is worried he might be messed up in the head now. Said my mare's scent is strong and she's pushed him to it. I wasn't even conversing with her at this point, she had only asked how my mare was and then blamed me again for the lack of stability in fencing. He didn't even have a hair out of place. The other horse is also slightly lame with a stone bruise which is also my fault because I split them as she said...

 

[Lexi_]

Well that’s the risk she took when letting him go out on trial, isn’t it? Easier said than done, but try and ignore her!

 

[Flame_]

The owner is now blaming me for all this and is worried he might be messed up in the head now. Said my mare's scent is strong and she's pushed him to it. I wasn't even conversing with her at this point, she had only asked how my mare was and then blamed me again for the lack of stability in fencing. He didn't even have a hair out of place. The other horse is also slightly lame with a stone bruise which is also my fault because I split them as she said...
You really couldn't make this up.

Just say that you're really disappointed that it didn't work out the way you'd hoped and expected. If she wants to blame you, walk away, let her and move on.

At least this trial has opened your eyes to some potential problems you hadn't foreseen and you can get some plans in place to make the turnout arrangements work when you are ready to buy a horse.