Deltic Blue
Well-Known Member
Hi everyone,
Sorry if this is a long one, I'll try and keep it as short as possible, but I just need some advice and reassurance that I'm making the right decision.
So we moved yards back in April to a yard which is lovely and suited to my mare, but we're now having issues with the YO.
To begin with, things were going well, YO was really helpful and approachable, but as time has gone on, I just get the feeling she does not like me/doesn't value me as a livery at all.
It all really started when my horse got injured and coming back into work. All was fine whilst on box rest, even offered the field behind her stable for a companion, which I really appreciated and kept on top of maintenance with the horses owner.
But when she was coming back into work, I started to ride her just around the yard as I felt comfortable with that, as I didn't want to take her in the school, or out on the road, having been out of work for 10 weeks, when she is an excitable/stressy horse and I'm not the most confident of riders.
I was told I wasn't allowed to do that as the yard is for leading horses on, not riding, and to go onto the hacking behind the yard which is just grass tracks, so I stopped and tried taking her onto the grass, where she was manageable, but got a bit wound up so I turned round and came back before she got worse.
I then decided to try again a few days later on the grass, went past the school where YO was, and got completely attacked by horseflies which wound my horse up so much, I did wonder if I'd get back without falling off. I'd never hacked up there before, so I wasn't aware of how bad the flies were, or I wouldn't have gone. YO then says, "oh you shouldn't hack down there at this time, the flies are really bad". But didn't tell me this before I went, only as I was coming back with my horse dripping with sweat and and very wound up.
I've now got a friend of a friend riding her for me, as I decided I'd happily pay someone to bring her back into work, as I'm just not brave enough.
The day she came down to first "try" her to see how they get on and if I liked her as a rider, YO had a go at me and told me I should have let her know. In my defence, I didn't know, and didn't think it would be an issue as we hadn't agreed to anything at that point and I was with her at all times, so it wasn't like I'd told her to go onto the yard on her own and ride my horse.
Ever since this point YO has been to put it politely, very rude to me and making me feel so unwelcome.
Yesterday, rider came over, we decided to try her straight in the school as opposed to going on the road which she's done a few times now and was relaxed and comfortable with.
YO was in the school with their son. I asked if we could come in and just walk around, since she can only walk. Told them my horse can kick if she feels trapped or a horse gets too close. YO's son proceeds to start cantering around the school, following and getting too close. My horse is now visibly upset and not happy with the situation at all. Rider tries to settle her down, which starts to work. So she stops to give her a long rein and try to relax. Horse then out of nowhere rears, and not just a small rear, quite a big one, which shocked us both as she has never reared like that before, she used to threaten when I first got her an hop, but never actually go up! The whole situation just blew her brains.
YO then comes at me and says , you should be putting IT on the lunge in very tight side reins. How are you happy with letting the rider get on her when she's this naughty. I don't feel you should be in here as she is a liability and will hurt someone. Questions my insurance and basically makes me feel like I shouldn't have asked someone to ride her. YO's son then says if IT kicks my horse I will kick off! So we were asked to leave the school.
By this point, I was in too much shock to even respond very well at how she had been speaking to me and making me seem like I forced the rider to ride her.
I didn't, I put an advert up asking for a confident, calm rider to come and bring her back into work following injury. Making them fully aware of the situation and that she is easily stressed.
I'm very annoyed that she feels she can refer to my horse as an it, when she knows full well what her name is and that she's a mare. When she was in work she complimented at what a nice horse she is and how well she was going. And now she thinks she dangerous. She's not at all, she just easily wound up and hasn't been in work for a good 11 weeks, so the situation just got too much for her.
Rider is not overly worried about how she behaved, so we took her down the road again, where she was calm and relaxed to be out of that situation. To ensure the ride was ended on a good note, and to calm her down, which did work.
I have been doing exactly as the vet has told me, no more than walk, which YO knows, so the suggestion of wacking her on the lunge and strapping her down really angered me.
YO has been increasingly rude and abrupt with me ever since she came back into work, and makes me feel like I don't know what I'm doing, and has questioned my morals as an owner one too many times now.
There's been too many rules created since I moved there, that I don't feel like I can do anything right anymore.
I've also recently found out that they won't allow any outside instructors to teach on the yard, we must use them. Which won't suit me and I have an instructor that I want to use.
I really don't feel welcome there anymore and I'm now looking to move ASAP.
My question basically is, do you think I'm making the right decision by moving, or would you stick it out?
Sorry for the rant, I'm just so upset at the situation and didn't know what to do
Sorry if this is a long one, I'll try and keep it as short as possible, but I just need some advice and reassurance that I'm making the right decision.
So we moved yards back in April to a yard which is lovely and suited to my mare, but we're now having issues with the YO.
To begin with, things were going well, YO was really helpful and approachable, but as time has gone on, I just get the feeling she does not like me/doesn't value me as a livery at all.
It all really started when my horse got injured and coming back into work. All was fine whilst on box rest, even offered the field behind her stable for a companion, which I really appreciated and kept on top of maintenance with the horses owner.
But when she was coming back into work, I started to ride her just around the yard as I felt comfortable with that, as I didn't want to take her in the school, or out on the road, having been out of work for 10 weeks, when she is an excitable/stressy horse and I'm not the most confident of riders.
I was told I wasn't allowed to do that as the yard is for leading horses on, not riding, and to go onto the hacking behind the yard which is just grass tracks, so I stopped and tried taking her onto the grass, where she was manageable, but got a bit wound up so I turned round and came back before she got worse.
I then decided to try again a few days later on the grass, went past the school where YO was, and got completely attacked by horseflies which wound my horse up so much, I did wonder if I'd get back without falling off. I'd never hacked up there before, so I wasn't aware of how bad the flies were, or I wouldn't have gone. YO then says, "oh you shouldn't hack down there at this time, the flies are really bad". But didn't tell me this before I went, only as I was coming back with my horse dripping with sweat and and very wound up.
I've now got a friend of a friend riding her for me, as I decided I'd happily pay someone to bring her back into work, as I'm just not brave enough.
The day she came down to first "try" her to see how they get on and if I liked her as a rider, YO had a go at me and told me I should have let her know. In my defence, I didn't know, and didn't think it would be an issue as we hadn't agreed to anything at that point and I was with her at all times, so it wasn't like I'd told her to go onto the yard on her own and ride my horse.
Ever since this point YO has been to put it politely, very rude to me and making me feel so unwelcome.
Yesterday, rider came over, we decided to try her straight in the school as opposed to going on the road which she's done a few times now and was relaxed and comfortable with.
YO was in the school with their son. I asked if we could come in and just walk around, since she can only walk. Told them my horse can kick if she feels trapped or a horse gets too close. YO's son proceeds to start cantering around the school, following and getting too close. My horse is now visibly upset and not happy with the situation at all. Rider tries to settle her down, which starts to work. So she stops to give her a long rein and try to relax. Horse then out of nowhere rears, and not just a small rear, quite a big one, which shocked us both as she has never reared like that before, she used to threaten when I first got her an hop, but never actually go up! The whole situation just blew her brains.
YO then comes at me and says , you should be putting IT on the lunge in very tight side reins. How are you happy with letting the rider get on her when she's this naughty. I don't feel you should be in here as she is a liability and will hurt someone. Questions my insurance and basically makes me feel like I shouldn't have asked someone to ride her. YO's son then says if IT kicks my horse I will kick off! So we were asked to leave the school.
By this point, I was in too much shock to even respond very well at how she had been speaking to me and making me seem like I forced the rider to ride her.
I didn't, I put an advert up asking for a confident, calm rider to come and bring her back into work following injury. Making them fully aware of the situation and that she is easily stressed.
I'm very annoyed that she feels she can refer to my horse as an it, when she knows full well what her name is and that she's a mare. When she was in work she complimented at what a nice horse she is and how well she was going. And now she thinks she dangerous. She's not at all, she just easily wound up and hasn't been in work for a good 11 weeks, so the situation just got too much for her.
Rider is not overly worried about how she behaved, so we took her down the road again, where she was calm and relaxed to be out of that situation. To ensure the ride was ended on a good note, and to calm her down, which did work.
I have been doing exactly as the vet has told me, no more than walk, which YO knows, so the suggestion of wacking her on the lunge and strapping her down really angered me.
YO has been increasingly rude and abrupt with me ever since she came back into work, and makes me feel like I don't know what I'm doing, and has questioned my morals as an owner one too many times now.
There's been too many rules created since I moved there, that I don't feel like I can do anything right anymore.
I've also recently found out that they won't allow any outside instructors to teach on the yard, we must use them. Which won't suit me and I have an instructor that I want to use.
I really don't feel welcome there anymore and I'm now looking to move ASAP.
My question basically is, do you think I'm making the right decision by moving, or would you stick it out?
Sorry for the rant, I'm just so upset at the situation and didn't know what to do