would you let a pregnant friend ride your horse?

[Dizzle]

People are entitled to feel guilty after an accident, even if it wasn't their fault.

 

[Moomin1]

Moomin, the horses owner has the right not to feel uncomfortable or fearful. Owner's are often held responsible for any fall a rider may suffer. if the owner doesn't want to take that risk then their feelings are equally as important and they should not be ridiculed for them. It is a nice part of being human that we feel protective of a mother/unborn child and not something sinister.

And I have said I can understand if people are worried about being held responsible in a court.

It may well be 'nice' to feel protective, but that doesn't necessarily mean it is particularly nice for the woman involved. I don't feel they should be ridiculed for their feelings either. My feelings would be that I would be quite offended if someone refused to let me sit on a horse I regularly rode, knew very well etc simply because they feel it a danger to my unborn child. If they said that they didn't want me to because they were worried I would sue them, then I could completely understand that and I would respect that completely. But I certainly am not comfortable with other people deciding what is dangerous for my unborn child, and what isn't (apart from my OH obviously - but like I say, not even he feels it necessary to make the decision on me riding).

Each to their own though.

 

[Moomin1]

People are entitled to feel guilty after an accident, even if it wasn't their fault.

I didn't say they weren't, did I?

I said I don't personally UNDERSTAND that.

 

[AandK]

How is it a different kettle of fish?

By telling someone they can't ride your horse, simply because they are pregnant (I am not talking about whether you actually feel they can handle the horse or not), you are making a decision for them on theirs and their unborn baby's safety, because you feel it is a risk. Dr's currently recommend that pregnant women AVOID horse riding, and AVOID alcohol. Therefore, why would you make the decision that riding your horse is too dangerous for a pregnant woman, but not make a decision on whether you would pour her a glass of alcohol? That's the point I am trying to make. Is it a case of pick and choose? That glass of wine may well harm the baby, or it may not. Similarly, riding may cause a fall, harming the baby, or it may not.

Surely that is completely down to the woman to make that decision?

As I say, fair enough if there are reasons behind not allowing someone on your horse - ie, they have never ridden before and don't fully appreciate the dangers, or you know that the person is not capable of handling that particular horse etc. But if someone has regularly ridden your horse, knows what the horse is like and capable of, and is a competent rider themselves, then why should anyone but themselves make that judgement on whether they should continue to ride or not?

Because one of the risks of riding a horse is falling off, this and the possible consequences are much worse than that of drinking a glass of wine. I am not saying I would tell the pregnant lady she cannot ride full stop, I have no right do to that. What I do have the right to do, is not allow her to ride MY horse as I would not feel comfortable with the risks and possible consequences of those risks (miscarriage/injury to baby and or rider and as one poster put, a court case). It is not just the feelings/rights pregnant lady that has to be considered, or her unborn child, but also the father of the child surely?
I would however rider MY horse if I were pregnant, but I would not put a friend in the difficult position of asking to ride their horse whilst with child. All my opinions and I don't see where I am dictating what someone must/mustn't do. You make it sound like any pregnant lady has the right to ride any horse they like, regardless of who owns it! A bit melodramatic, yes, but hey ho..

 

[Moomin1]

Because one of the risks of riding a horse is falling off, this and the possible consequences are much worse than that of drinking a glass of wine. I am not saying I would tell the pregnant lady she cannot ride full stop, I have no right do to that. What I do have the right to do, is not allow her to ride MY horse as I would feel the risks and possible consequences of those risks (miscarriage/injury to baby and or rider and as one poster put, a court case), are not in my best interests. It is not just the feelings/rights pregnant lady that has to be considered, or her unborn child, but also the father of the child surely?
I would however rider MY horse if I were pregnant, but I would not put a friend in the difficult position of asking to ride their horse whilst with child. All my opinions and I don't see where I am dictating what someone must/mustn't do. You make it sound like any pregnant lady has the right to ride any horse they like, regardless of who owns it! A bit melodramatic, yes, but hey ho..

No I am not in the slightest bit suggesting that. What I am saying is that of course any owner has the right to tell someone they aren't riding their horse, for any reason they like. HOWEVER, I personally would not stop a pregnant woman from riding my horse simply because they were pregnant. That is her choice, her risk. Just like it is when any non pregnant person gets on my horse. My instructor is schooling my horse for me whilst I am pregnant. I made him fully aware of what she is like before he got on her the first time. He is now fully accustomed to her, and how she can be. If he fell off (god forbid) and broke a leg, and was off work for six weeks with no wage, then yes, I would feel very bad for him, but I wouldn't feel guilt, because he knows it is a risky business getting on in the first place, and he knows what my mare is like. And he is also a very capable rider. Therefore he has made that judgement himself. I don't see it any different whatsoever for a pregnant woman (who, in the main part, are pretty sane too ;-) ).

With regards the father - I think I have pointed out a number of times that the father's wishes are the only other wish I would take into consideration.

 

[ozpoz]

Any horse can be unpredictable. Most horse owners are well aware of that. No one has said they would say no on the basis of it being dangerous but rather on the basis of not being comfortable with the risk.
Anyway, as you say, each to their own - own horse,own decision. : )

 

[Mince Pie]

My horse is a saint and was, up until recently, ridden by a very novice 11 year old so I would say it's up to her. However, having said that, if she is a novice herself I would also explain the potential downfalls of doing so, so she could make an informed decision.

ETA: with regards to pregnant women making their own decisions, "baby brain" is, IMO, very real and therefore a woman who is pregnant may not make the same decisions that she would if she were not pregnant. Just a thought.

 

[AandK]

No I am not in the slightest bit suggesting that. What I am saying is that of course any owner has the right to tell someone they aren't riding their horse, for any reason they like. HOWEVER, I personally would not stop a pregnant woman from riding my horse simply because they were pregnant. That is her choice, her risk. Just like it is when any non pregnant person gets on my horse. My instructor is schooling my horse for me whilst I am pregnant. I made him fully aware of what she is like before he got on her the first time. He is now fully accustomed to her, and how she can be. If he fell off (god forbid) and broke a leg, and was off work for six weeks with no wage, then yes, I would feel very bad for him, but I wouldn't feel guilt, because he knows it is a risky business getting on in the first place, and he knows what my mare is like. And he is also a very capable rider. Therefore he has made that judgement himself. I don't see it any different whatsoever for a pregnant woman (who, in the main part, are pretty sane too ;-) ).

With regards the father - I think I have pointed out a number of times that the father's wishes are the only other wish I would take into consideration.

I agree with what you are saying re your instructor riding your horse, but a broken leg is a whole different thing to losing a baby.. Yes I would feel bad for instructor for the loss of income etc, but I would never forgive myself if my friend lost her baby riding my horse.
It is their choice to ride or not, but it would also be my choice whether or not I allowed them to ride my horse. And in my case the potential risks would just be too high for me to allow it.

ETS: Your comment about sane pregnant ladies made me smile.. I am sure most are sane, most of the time! Haha :smile3:

 

[Spring Feather]

OP, out of interest, are you all going to stop her from mucking out, handling the horses, poo picking, grooming and doing all the jobs she may have been doing to help out?

 

[Ibblebibble]

But you aren't responsible for the unborn child - she is.

I would be seriously offended if someone told me, as a pregnant woman, what I can and can't do. (Not having a go here, that's just the way I view it as a currently pregnant woman - and possibly a very hormonal one too ;-) )

but i would feel responsible! and that may be daft but i can't change that i know i would blame myself if something happened, and TBH I'm sure her boyfriend and family would blame me too as she's only 18 and I'm the 'adult' (allegedly lol). She has only just got back into riding and has ridden my cob a handful of times and my big mare once. didn't really click with my big girl and the cob is still a bit green, too much of a risk IMO.
I can understand what you are saying about people making decisions for you just because you are pregnant , if she had been riding longer and cob wasn't so green i may have felt differently.
I don't have any issues with pregnant women riding, just not my horses

 

[Ibblebibble]

OP, out of interest, are you all going to stop her from mucking out, handling the horses, poo picking, grooming and doing all the jobs she may have been doing to help out?

I doubt she will want to do the work without the 'payment' of riding, and i understand that.

 

[Spring Feather]

but i would feel responsible! and that may be daft but i can't change that i know i would blame myself if something happened, and TBH I'm sure her boyfriend and family would blame me too as she's only 18 and I'm the 'adult' (allegedly lol). She has only just got back into riding and has ridden my cob a handful of times and my big mare once. didn't really click with my big girl and the cob is still a bit green, too much of a risk IMO.
I can understand what you are saying about people making decisions for you just because you are pregnant , if she had been riding longer and cob wasn't so green i may have felt differently.
I don't have any issues with pregnant women riding, just not my horses

So she's a novice rider. That puts a very different slant on things then I'd say. The question really should be; would you allow a novice rider to ride your green youngster and my answer would therefore have been, no I wouldn't.

 

[Moomin1]

I doubt she will want to do the work without the 'payment' of riding, and i understand that.

If she did want to though...would you allow her?

Because honest truth now, I have on a number of occasions felt I could have potentially increased my risk of miscarriage whilst poo picking, hauling haynets etc etc.

 

[Moomin1]

So she's a novice rider. That puts a very different slant on things then I'd say. The question really should be; would you allow a novice rider to ride your green youngster and my answer would therefore have been, no I wouldn't.

The point I have made all along! Lol!

 

[Patterdale]

No, I wouldn't.

I'm 34 weeks pregnant and stopped riding months ago as I PERSONALLY don't feel that it is an acceptable risk. Therefore, because of MY feelings on the subject, I would hardly then hand the reins over to another pregnant lady. I'd feel awful if something happened.

If someone wanted to ride their own horse, then that is completely their decision which doesn't need any agreement or consent from me. It's totally up to them and I don't judge.

By giving permission you are enabling the person to ride the horse, and therefore it would be totally understandable to feel a sense of guilt if they then fell off and lost the baby, doing an activity that was only open to them because of YOUR permission.

I don't really see what's hard to understand about that?

 

[Tern]

No because my horse is unpredictable at times and wouldn't be able to live with the guilt if something did happen

 

[DiNozzo]

And that is what I am shocked at...

I'm quite shocked at your double standards TBH!

You say its a woman's choice in whether to drink/ride etc. during pregnancy, but won't allow other people to have an opinion on whether they would help her to do these things!

 

[Moomin1]

No, I wouldn't.

I'm 34 weeks pregnant and stopped riding months ago as I PERSONALLY don't feel that it is an acceptable risk. Therefore, because of MY feelings on the subject, I would hardly then hand the reins over to another pregnant lady. I'd feel awful if something happened.

If someone wanted to ride their own horse, then that is completely their decision which doesn't need any agreement or consent from me. It's totally up to them and I don't judge.

By giving permission you are enabling the person to ride the horse, and therefore it would be totally understandable to feel a sense of guilt if they then fell off and lost the baby, doing an activity that was only open to them because of YOUR permission.

I don't really see what's hard to understand about that?

I don't understand the reasoning no. Because quite simply, if a pregnant woman decided to get in my car, and I then crashed it, or someone crashed into us (being totally an unavoidable accident now), and something happened to the baby, then it was still that pregnant woman's decision to get in the car. She understands the risks. As I do when I get in a car driven by someone else.

But I repeat, if an owner does not feel comfortable allowing someone on their horse, fine, it's up to them.

 

[Moomin1]

I'm quite shocked at your double standards TBH!

You say its a woman's choice in whether to drink/ride etc. during pregnancy, but won't allow other people to have an opinion on whether they would help her to do these things!

Where have I said nobody is allowed an opinion? I have merely said I don't understand some trains of though. And merely said what my opinion is. I think if you read my posts properly you would see I have repeatedly said that any owner has the right to say no, for WHATEVER reason.

 

[DragonSlayer]

I've had this with a friend, she had ridden the horse a couple of times before, then after the news was out she was pregnant and she asked again, I explained I'd feel guilty forever if something happened that caused issues. My friend was perfectly understanding and said actually she agreed, she would do the same!

For the sake of hurting someone's feelings for safety's sake, my conscience is clear.

With the alcoholic drink issue, I think it's a little different. Certainly I'd have other drinks on offer, I couldn't exactly take the glass away from someone because I didn't agree with it!

With regards to the horse issue though, the horse is mine....so I'm responsible for that.

 

[khalswitz]

I sure as hell wouldn't let a pregnant woman ride my horse. However, he is sharp as a tack, and I don't 100% trust him - I wouldn't let anyone else ride him without me knowing how good they were and me being present. My horse WOULD be a risk to a pregnant woman, so I wouldn't. If I owned a safe, quiet horse? Answer might be different. However my decision would be based on insurance and liability rather than any desire to take choice away from a pregnant woman.

 

[Serephin]

I am still riding my horse at 36 weeks, but he is sensible, although will spook at a pheasant!

I personally wouldn't let a pregnant woman ride my horse as I know him inside out and I couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't spook. And I hate others riding him anyway, with the exception of my sister. The OP says that the rider is a novice, so thats a done deal for me, its just not worth the risk as no matter how lovely that person is, so many people look to blame others when something goes wrong even if they knew full well it was their decision and responsibilty to get on someone else's horse whilst pregnant.

 

[L&M]

No absloutely not!

I rode my cob up until 36 weeks, but that was my choice and would have had to live with it if anything had happened.

I would never be able to forgive myself I allowed a pregnant person to ride my horse, however sensible, and to have a freak accident.....

 

[ChesnutsRoasting]

Yes. Her body, her baby, her choice. My choice is allowing her to have a choice.

 

[L&M]

I am totally pro-choice, but would suggest she got her own horse to excercise this 'choice' on......

 

[ChesnutsRoasting]

I am totally pro-choice, but would suggest she got her own horse to excercise this 'choice' on......

Why? My horse, your horse, her horse - whats the difference?

 

[Spring Feather]

Yes. Her body, her baby, her choice. My choice is allowing her to have a choice.

That's exactly how I feel and I'm one who avidly does not describe myself as a feminist lol! I do find this thread one of the most telling threads posted on here for a long time.

 

[ChesnutsRoasting]

I am totally pro-choice, but would suggest she got her own horse to excercise this 'choice' on......

That's exactly how I feel and I'm one who avidly does not describe myself as a feminist lol! I do find this thread one of the most telling threads posted on here for a long time.

I'm no feminist either SF! I rode up until 7 months & the decision to ride was always placed in my court. It was my choice to continue riding & my choice to stop riding. Any repurcussions were my responsibilty & no-one elses.

 

[stencilface]

I rode until 7 months, then I decided rehab walk work was not great on a horse on small paddock turnout. The first time I felt unsure of him, I got off and didn't get back on (riding him again now and I'm back to my normal)

As regards the drinking, people on the continent think it's nuts we don't drink, so it depends what culture you're from. My rule was if the glass was small and the drink expensive, champagne fits this bill perfectly thankfully I probably had a drink a month, it was my one sin. I didn't have any caffeine and am a healthy veggie, so I figured a glass a month or so was well within healthy

 

[khalswitz]

I had the same argument with my old boss when I broke my elbow. It was strapped up, and I could ride fine like that, but she would not let me go against my doctor's advice and ride as she was concerned about the possible consequences. My opinion was that whilst it was my choice to ride, it was her horse I wanted to ride, so therefore letting me ride was her choice!! I had my own rider insurance etc so wasn't about that.

I know being pregnant isn't the same as being injured, but in both cases a fall could have severe consequences. Choosing to ride yourself is one thing, but the owner also has a choice.

It's an argument over where your rights cross - right over your own body versus right over your own property, and responsibility for that property.