YO advice how to evict a livery

[paddy555]

Are you sure it is him being the problem and not the others? Livery yards can be quite cliquey at times.
Is he the only man? Maybe hes shy.
You seem to have a problem because he schools 5 times a week and competes at weekends - why? Lots of people do!

you could also be describing someone with aspergers who simply has not a clue that he is causing a problem.

 

[Red-1]

you could also be describing someone with aspergers who simply has not a clue that he is causing a problem.

That was my first thought too, well autism, especially with religiously following the rules and having a strict routine.

 

[Mrs. Jingle]

Honesty politely put by far the best way to go - anything less will come back to bite you I am sure. some excellent suggestions how to politely word things.

Just one small thing niggling me though - is he the last livery on, are the other liveries long established with you? If so I would be absolutely certain that the long term existing liveries aren't just getting a little above themselves and deciding among themselves this guy's face doesn't fit with them and their clique, and feeding you unsettling rumours and half truths to encourage you to ask him to go? It wouldn't be the first time by a long chalk that well settled liveries with their boots firmly under the table have decided they are the ones to control and decide who stays on a yard and who doesn't.

 

[indie1282]

Hi all, I’m looking for advice on the best way to get a livery to ‘move on’. He never breaks a rule and on paper should be the perfect person but he is a control freak, only speaks to certain others that he feels are ‘below’ him in rank, and generally creates a nasty, poisonous atmosphere. It’s only a tiny yard so can make things very awkward and others avoid coming here when they know he’ll be on the yard. I’ve had enough and want them gone but if I evict without a genuine (and polite) reason then he’ll blacken my name for future clients. So I need a good excuse/reason. I was considering the following:
1) if your horses won’t live out 24/7 in summer months then I won’t be able to turn them out (he won’t have his live out 24/7 in summer even though this is an option here meaning I have to turn them out at 6:30am all summer when all the others live out.) This could smack me in the face if he decided now that his horses can live out though I doubt it.
2) I’m only offering retirement livery from now on (he takes himself very seriously and schools 5 times a week and ‘competes’ at weekend).

I’ve been waiting patiently for a broken rule but it never happens - I’m sure he knows I’m waiting!!
Anyone had past experience or can offer any advice would be much appreciated! Thank you

I would say that you dont seem to like him from the way you talk. Saying that he schools 5 times a week and 'competes" like it's a bad thing??

I do think you have a very valid point with the turning out at 6.30am though and if that's something that you longer wish to offer then I would try that first, he may leave on his own accord. I also would talk to him before serving notice and explain that his behaviour is causing upset with the other liveries. Have you seen his behaviour first hand? Or are you relying on the other liveries stories?

 

[ester]

you could also be describing someone with aspergers who simply has not a clue that he is causing a problem.

And even more reason not to be at all daft lying about reasons .

 

[blitznbobs]

Or double the price of his livery...

 

[ester]

see that would seem pretty mean to me!

 

[jules9203]

You are a YO. At some point you and your yard will be gossiped about no matter what you have or haven't done!. Because you are small you have to make sure you have the correct fit. You do not owe anyone an explanation if you ask them to leave (especially with a longer notice period). If you are sure that it is him and not the other liveries then you need to give him notice. If however you have any doubts you need to assess the situation beforehand. Do not trust other livery gossip either.

 

[HashRouge]

One YO put up the livery until most left, then dropped it, and 'restocked'.
I would think he has no idea the effect he has on others, and if horses are you downtime I would imagine he is blooming annoying.
I would just politely give him notice, if he asks why just say you prefer a less competitive atmosphere and you think another his interests would be more suited to a competition yard. Its not you, its me.

I was on a yard where the YO decided she was closing the yard down...then, as soon as the person she wanted gone had found somewhere else, told the rest of us we could stay!

Op, I like Amber's Echo's suggestion. Don't make up a reason - either be straight with him, or give him notice but don't make up a reason.

 

[MagicMelon]

Cant you just be honest with him and tell him his behaviour is making you/others uncomfortable and to improve and be more friendly etc. or else you'll have to ask him to move on? I think personally that I'd try to be more engaging with the guy to see if he settles more. It sounds like you just dont like him even though hes done nothing wrong...

 

[milliepops]

Honesty politely put by far the best way to go - anything less will come back to bite you I am sure. some excellent suggestions how to politely word things.

Just one small thing niggling me though - is he the last livery on, are the other liveries long established with you? If so I would be absolutely certain that the long term existing liveries aren't just getting a little above themselves and deciding among themselves this guy's face doesn't fit with them and their clique, and feeding you unsettling rumours and half truths to encourage you to ask him to go? It wouldn't be the first time by a long chalk that well settled liveries with their boots firmly under the table have decided they are the ones to control and decide who stays on a yard and who doesn't.

Agree with this, it's amazing how quickly this can happen too, and perfectly innocent behaviour gets misconstrued and twisted. Make sure you're basing your decision on facts rather than hearsay, op, as others have said if he follows the rules and pays on time you could have a more difficult client next time

 

[fawaz]

I think that your current liveries may be twisting the truth because he doesn't want to stop and chat all day and cracks on with his horse. Being a guy too he they may be put out that he wont pay them any attention.

If he doesn't do anything wrong and your only gripe is he needs his horses turned out in the morning in summer (which I would assume he pays extra for) then surely you would be happy to be receiving the paid on time income and not concerning yourself with the other liveries taking a dislike to him NOT talking to them.

It also sounds like you don't approve of him schooling and competing, isn't that one of the reasons people get horses?

 

[pansymouse]

I'm in the have a frank and honest chat and give him a chance to change camp; he may not know how he is impacting others and be willing to change.

I was doing an interesting project for a director at work but found him patronising and condescending. I got to the end of my tether and told "please don't talk to me like I'm stupid - I'm not and the project is going very well". He was genuinely horrified he came over that way and changed his attitude almost immediately. I would say now he someone I would actively choose to work with.

 

[case895]

We have only had one livery and she left voluntarily. She is a serial mover and annoyed 2 or 3 YOs later who went to her and said "I am sorry X, but I am no longer able to meet the needs of you and your horse. I would like you to leave by Y."

 

[JillA]

We have only had one livery and she left voluntarily. She is a serial mover and annoyed 2 or 3 YOs later who went to her and said "I am sorry X, but I am no longer able to meet the needs of you and your horse. I would like you to leave by Y."

^^^^ This. You don't have to give a reason, just give him notice as in you can't provide the service for him any longer

 

[LegOn]

He could well reply saying that he IS happy and wants to continue as he is with that approach though?

But that give you an opening then to explain that he doesnt act like it & the other liveries have expressed that he doesnt seem happy which means its changing the atmosphere in the yard so maybe he would be better off finding a yard he is happy with. Sometimes personalities just dont gel - its not either parties fault but he may be happier at a more like minded yard.

 

[ester]

Nothing more irritating than someone telling you you’re acting happy wrong

 

[stormox]

TBH I am reading this as "I the yard owner dont.like you.. and I want you gone" . Look at this from his point of view- he is a conscientious owner, schooling his horses and competing - maybe he doesnt want to get involved with the others? Are they mainly women who chat groom play about with but dont actually ride types? Plenty of them on yards, they would annoy me intensely too!
Does it really matter he wants to do his own thing? Not everyone goes to yards to socialise. If he does his horses properly and pays regularly (Im assuming he you and he agreed to 6.30 am turnout when he came, maybe you could change it to 8.30 or whatever time you get to yard) is it really fair to chuck him off?

 

[DD]

are you genuinely only going to offer retirement livery from now on? if so just give him his notice as per post above and tell him its because you are only doing retirement livery no ridden horses from now on if he asks why. I understand your pain OP having had liveries in the past. a local livery yard near me had several people stable with them and one bloke with 3 horses was a control freak. he even told the YO yount son off for riding his peddle tractor on the muck heap. the muck heap was beauitifully square and tidy and the yard immaculate but it drove people nuts. if hes told my child off hes have been out by the end of the day, horses tied up in his back garden !

 

[alexomahony]

First of all, I'd be going with EllieTotz' view of if he isn't actually doing anything wrong or being mean to anyone, then it's up to everyone else to get on with it. If he is showing bullying/secluding/ignorant behavior, I'd be going with the option of speaking to him first and asking if there is a reason for why he is acting like he is and see his response - he might not have any idea that he is like it and be shocked. He may just be terribly shy which can often come across as rude.

I don't think it's fair to him if you haven't yet spoken.

 

[KittenInTheTree]

Meanwhile in the real world, decent YO's talk to their liveries as opposed to surmising stuff about them based on the random emissions of the yard gossip circle...

 

[Crazy_cat_lady]

TBH I am reading this as "I the yard owner dont.like you.. and I want you gone" . Look at this from his point of view- he is a conscientious owner, schooling his horses and competing - maybe he doesnt want to get involved with the others? Are they mainly women who chat groom play about with but dont actually ride types? Plenty of them on yards, they would annoy me intensely too!
Does it really matter he wants to do his own thing? Not everyone goes to yards to socialise. If he does his horses properly and pays regularly (Im assuming he you and he agreed to 6.30 am turnout when he came, maybe you could change it to 8.30 or whatever time you get to yard) is it really fair to chuck him off?

Sorry I agree with this. I'm also pretty good at being antisocial. Maybe he has a stressful job and when he's at the yard just wants to chill out and focus on his horse, he's also presumably paying for the turn out service so isn't he entitled to manage his horse how he prefers, not everyone loves 24/7 turn out- maybe see if you can agree a slightly later time to turn out? Not everyone is social and loves to chat I know I'm the same lol.
If he was being actively rude e.g. saying rude comments/ being aggressive to them etc you'd have a lot more terms to remove him. Maybe he feels an outsider if the rest are a cliquey group of women?
If I owned a yard I'd rather have someone who got their head down and got on with things and pays on time rather than a late paying person who makes bitchy comments.
Maybe organise a yard meal or bbq etc and invite them all to try and break the ice but obviously he may prefer not to come.

 

[The Fuzzy Furry]

Wonder what the OP has done about it? They have been on here in the last hour, perhaps they find the posts not to their liking?

 

[Pinkvboots]

I would just be honest with him and say some other liveries don't like his behaviour, but then I would make sure that it's not just them bitching about him, might be worth having a yard meeting and get it all out in the open.

 

[paddy555]

Wonder what the OP has done about it? They have been on here in the last hour, perhaps they find the posts not to their liking?

or perhaps it's troll?

 

[Velcrobum]

or perhaps it's troll?

I was wondering the same myself especially as the post was the first on the forum and no introduction................

 

[Fred66]

Hi all, I’m looking for advice on the best way to get a livery to ‘move on’. He never breaks a rule and on paper should be the perfect person but he is a control freak, only speaks to certain others that he feels are ‘below’ him in rank, and generally creates a nasty, poisonous atmosphere. It’s only a tiny yard so can make things very awkward and others avoid coming here when they know he’ll be on the yard. I’ve had enough and want them gone but if I evict without a genuine (and polite) reason then he’ll blacken my name for future clients. So I need a good excuse/reason. I was considering the following:
1) if your horses won’t live out 24/7 in summer months then I won’t be able to turn them out (he won’t have his live out 24/7 in summer even though this is an option here meaning I have to turn them out at 6:30am all summer when all the others live out.) This could smack me in the face if he decided now that his horses can live out though I doubt it.
2) I’m only offering retirement livery from now on (he takes himself very seriously and schools 5 times a week and ‘competes’ at weekend).

I’ve been waiting patiently for a broken rule but it never happens - I’m sure he knows I’m waiting!!
Anyone had past experience or can offer any advice would be much appreciated! Thank you

You don't really give examples of his behaviour, so its difficult to tell whether his behaviour is something that warrants being evicted or just ignoring.

It is possible as someone else said that he is on the Aspergers/Autism scale which would explain issues regarding him maybe not being as socially adept as others.

Also you make schooling 5 times a week and going out competing sound as though this is a character fault.

Everyone has their own expectations out of owning horses, be it just loving caring for them, happy hacking or competing. People should be allowed to do their own thing without any form of judgement.

Why not have a chat with him. Find out what it is that makes him interact with people the way he does. You can say that his use of his horse is more varied than most on the yard and maybe he lacks the time or inclination to socialise more with people but that it has made people feel uncomfortable around him. Does he think he can make more of an effort to get on with the others . If this comes as a shock to him and he says he is willing then you need to speak to the others to give him a chance. It might be that he still won't be everyones best friend but at least if they don't feel intimidated by him.

Obviously if says that he is how he is and sees no reason why he should change then you can tell him that he ought to start looking for somewhere else. At the end of the day it is not only a yard but also your home

 

[Fransurrey]

you could also be describing someone with aspergers who simply has not a clue that he is causing a problem.

Also my first thought. Speak to him first. I was well into my 30s before I realised I came across like this. I'm conscious of it now and make an effort (which is exhausting!), but I'm still rather marmitey at work, I think!!

 

[Mrs. Jingle]

or perhaps it's troll?

AAArgh! No not again - please dont turn a perfectly normal and interesting H&H thread into a ludicrous troll hunt yet again - I was the last victim on here to be hunted down because totally inaccurate assumptions were made by a few members because my view point didnt match the general concensus of opinion on that particular thread. If the OP doesn't find the response to her liking then I can see why she wouldn't respond, annoying as that might be that is her choice and right surely? but please don't immediately assume she must be a ....shock horror....troll!

 

[paddy555]

AAArgh! No not again - please dont turn a perfectly normal and interesting H&H thread into a ludicrous troll hunt yet again - I was the last victim on here to be hunted down because totally inaccurate assumptions were made by a few members because my view point didnt match the general concensus of opinion on that particular thread. If the OP doesn't find the response to her liking then I can see why she wouldn't respond, annoying as that might be that is her choice and right surely? but please don't immediately assume she must be a ....shock horror....troll!

I'm not assuming just questioning that someone would post this on their first post with no intro and then, if they truly had a problem and wanted suggestions, would not come back with more info as to why this guy was a problem. Just reminds me a bit of the guy who wanted to gallop racehorses even though he had never ridden one. Mind you that was a good story!