YO advice how to evict a livery

Not a troll sorry to disappoint!!
Don’t want the yard identified and genuinely wanted some advice on the best way to get rid of someone who causes a sour atmosphere. I’ve had a few good responses and have been trying to decide the best course of action.
I’m sure this guy is on the autism spectrum now it’s been said though I’m sure they aren’t aware. There are only 5 of us, he speaks to 1 ignores the other 4, myself included, when I walk into the yard and say hiya! Then I get text messages later asking for hay or instructions with their horse, won’t speak to me directly making it hard to just ‘have a chat’! No eye contact, just head down and ignores me.
I’ve lost a livery earlier in the year because she couldn’t take the atmosphere and wasn’t enjoying time with her horses (yes she had 2!). They had a row some months before as this guy is very competitive and saw this girl as a threat (they would compete at the same places etc). I don’t want to loose more. He isn’t the last one on the yard as have replaced the girl he chased off.
I have no issue with the schooling every day except the hogging of the school, not to mention the churning it up every day since it’s always ‘fast’ work. Again, that’s tough and has every right to use it.
I have to turn out at 6:30 as I have young pre school children so have to do any horse handling before my husband leaves for work. My problem granted, but exhausting over the holidays. I can do morning field checks with kids in tow so that suits me better but when he first came the livery included morning turnout so would be a change of contract on my part.
I am genuinely looking at going down the retirement route, I have one full retirement livery which is perfect. I’d like to go down this road but again would need the stable back.
I’m still very stuck which way to go but will give it some more serious consideration as to the best way forward. Like pervious statements I think I’ll get slagged off no matter which reason I give.... thanks guys x
 
be honest and tell him that you are expanding your retirement livery business. I would give him ample notice so he can start looking for a situation that suits him and his horse. it is so hard when you are on a small yard
 
It would definitely be understandable and fine to say you don’t want to turn out in the mornings.

Re the communication, I’m a texter, I can wind myself up sufficiently over seemingly very simple questions/information and rehearse that conversation so much that I then end up struggling to speak at all 🙄. It’s not personal but without fail mostly occurs with people who I consider to be in a position of authority (which made me wonder when you say he speaks to the person he considers below him) When in reality I’m a bit of a chatterbox. He might well know but not want everyone else to.

It does make me smile a bit though as many times on here you see ‘just keep you head down and ignore other people’.
 
It's your yard and you have the right to run it as you choose. So by all means say that you are no longer prepared to turn out at 6:30 am. And you can introduce a booking system for the school. Though if your other liveries are retirement liveries is there much demand for it apart from him? Keeping the school harrowed and fit for use is a core function of yards that have schools. I don't think you can blame him for using the facilities you are providing. If you no longer want to maintain a school then you can stop offering it as you move towards retirement only livery. But these details sound a bit like red herrings - they are all manageable. The key issue is you and others don't like being around him.

But it sounds as though a lot of the toxic atmosphere comes as much from people's assumptions about his behaviour as the behaviour itself. If people think he is arrogant, selfish and rude then that creates a negative atmosphere but if people think he's anxious and socially awkward then that can lead to a totally different and more accepting atmosphere. And if you tell him plainly that ignoring greetings and refusing to speak to people comes across as rude then he might change that and be a little less stand-offish.
 
firstly I apologise for suggesting you were a troll. Sorry.

many adults on the spectrum don't realise. Can you sit him down, (whether he likes it or not) and tell him what you put in your last post. Explain your dilemma truthfully, go through each point and explain what went wrong and what he could have done. Say something has to be done. Does he have any suggestions? He may not realise or understand about sharing the school etc. He walks on by as he simply doesn't know what else to do. He makes no eye contact as he simply cannot read people. His whole life may be one of anxiety that he is trying to find a way through. Explain what you want, that people want to be friendly etc but he has to say "hello" as well.
explain you cannot carry on the 6.30, whatever happens something has to change even if it is his contract.
He could be upset and willing to give it a go to try and change his behaviour. Otherwise he may even offer to go. If he does want to try and change get the others to help him, he will not be able to reach out to them they will need to make the first move before he can respond. If he is on the spectrum he may well think he is a non person and needs help to be part of it all.

Ester's point about being a chatterbox is a good one, give him a cup of coffee and get him talking about his horses. You will get some idea from that. Once you get him going you may not be able to stop him.

You may then see if he has a problem with autism or alternatively if he is just damned miserable and has to get the boot!
 
It's not an employment contract, but a commercial agreement, you don't have to give a reason, just give notice according to your livery agreement. Just had to do the same with a tenant who was pushing the boundaries of how she kept the property. Stick to the business side, don;t get drawn into reasons. Good luck!
 
The yard is your home, as well, by the sound of it. You have a perfect right to have whomsoever you please there, or not, as you see fit. You don't need to give a reason, just give him notice, be pleasant about it but businesslike, extent the notice period if you feel that would be appropriate. You do not have an obligation to make adjustments in your home for someone who acts as if he might have ASD but hasn't got a diagnosis.
 
I don’t think it’s fair to second guess what he is or isn’t.

You either decide you want him gone and do it in as nice a way as possible just to be a nice human being, you are well within your rights to do this

Or, having reflected on it, you might think that you could give him another chance if he modifys his behaviour a bit.

I was on DIY with a girl with ASD last year. YO pre warned me, as she did with everyone. Had she not I might have been less tolerant of some of the behaviours. As it was I didn’t really have an issue with her, other than one episode when I immediately pipped up that I didn’t appreciate being spoken to so rudely. It was a shame though as there were a couple of others on the yard that would always have a dig.
 
Ellietotz said:
Completely opposite to what everyone else has said but if he isn't actually nasty to anyone and gets on with his own things, I would be more inclined to tell the others to get on with it and ignore him.
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Having been on a yard with a similar sounding person it is easier said than done. Having someone's opinions forced on you is very irritating, hanging over your stable door and questioning what you do etc etc. Ioved when summer rolled around so I could arrange my time at the yard around other said livery not being there 🙄. It was a glorious day when they were asked to move on.
 
This guy has been here for 2+ years. It’s gradually escalated and I feel now is more of a controlling thing than a behavioural thing. They have not told me about any ASD or otherwise so I just assume he’s an arrogant, extremely selfish person!! Started off friendly enough until I put my foot down about something then stopped talking to me altogether!! So I feel this is more about pushing the boundaries than not realising what they’re doing, which does annoy me somewhat as it’s just plain rude and they do know better.
Thanks for all of the opinions and advice people I do appreciate it and have lots to consider before I take appropriate action! 😊
 
Regardless of whether he has a condition that causes him to behave this way there is no need for any one to be rude or refuse to speak to the YO if asked a direct question or a given friendly hello, as he has got worse it seems he can manage to be polite when required, it may be that he is very comfortable now so his normal behaviour is showing, either way it is your yard and you do not have to put up with an uncomfortable atmosphere.
 
It was just a direct response to PaS saying he didn’t. Not trying to make any particularly relevant point to the thread just that people don’t go round telling everyone ;)
 
OP based on your further post giving more examples in your position I would just be inclined to explain you've given in a lot of thought and don't feel like this is a good fit anymore so you are issuing notice. Then you can give examples - i.e. won't talk to you, creating atmosphere etc
 
Elbie said:
OP based on your further post giving more examples in your position I would just be inclined to explain you've given in a lot of thought and don't feel like this is a good fit anymore so you are issuing notice. Then you can give examples - i.e. won't talk to you, creating atmosphere etc
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I am genuinely interested in why people feel the need to give explanations and excuses. Why not just tell the man that he needs to move? The reasons are not relevant unless/until he asks.
 
It is a difficult situation- if it was the livery posting, what would he say? "Ive been on my yard for 2 years, really like it here, always pay on time, do my horses well, I dont really like socialising and chatting, I go to the yard to have some 'me' time.... but the other liveries, mostly female, are gossiping about me to the YO, saying Im hard to get on with, snobby and I dont like them.... so I just ignore them, after all my contract is between me and YO not the other liveries.... I really dont know what to do as I feel Im not wanted on the yard, but it really suits me being here, distance, facilities etc"..... what would HHOers recommend then?
 
With the extra info I would just give him notice without a reason, if he asks why I would say that the relationship has broken down due to his behaviour and it's making it unpleasant due to the fact you get ignored, I wouldn't have anyone on my yard that ignored me and the minute someone did they would be out, it's bloody rude and disrespectful.
 
stormox said:
It is a difficult situation- if it was the livery posting, what would he say? "Ive been on my yard for 2 years, really like it here, always pay on time, do my horses well, I dont really like socialising and chatting, I go to the yard to have some 'me' time.... but the other liveries, mostly female, are gossiping about me to the YO, saying Im hard to get on with, snobby and I dont like them.... so I just ignore them, after all my contract is between me and YO not the other liveries.... I really dont know what to do as I feel Im not wanted on the yard, but it really suits me being here, distance, facilities etc"..... what would HHOers recommend then?
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I'd pretty much guarantee they would advise moving, no?
 
PrivateCLW said:
Started off friendly enough until I put my foot down about something then stopped talking to me altogether!!
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That would be enough for me! My yard is also my home, and I wouldn't tolerate behaviour that made me feel uncomfortable on my own property. I'm very lucky with my current bunch of liveries - but I have swiftly given notice to a few in the past who haven't treated me with courtesy/respect.
 
Cortez said:
I'd pretty much guarantee they would advise moving, no?
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If he really doesnt speak to YO at all I think yes- evict him. But if he is just businesslike and just not chatty I wouldn't advise him move- sometimes there isnt anywhere suitable to take 2 horses- I would advise him to be businesslike and polite to the YO and ignore the other liveries.
 
I honestly think that he would move as he can’t like the atmosphere he’s created, but the horse is very settled and the healthiest it’s been since he’s owned her (his words albeit a while ago), it’s quiet (since everyone avoids being there when he is there!) and it suits him. It’s a little way away from his home, good 25 min drive. I’ve heard through the grapevine that he looked at moving over the summer so I waited patiently for their notice but it never came so I’m guessing he couldn’t find anything similar to suit him. You’d think if that was the case he’d be careful to make sure he’s not evicted! 🤷‍♀️
 
So based on your update then I suggest that you tell him that you are going to be making a few changes and unfirtunately this may impact him more than the others. You will totally understand if he decides that your livery will not suit him but you will be making summer turnout compulsory 24/7 as you are no longer wanting to do turnouts before the children go to school. Also that you are looking to actively encourage retirement / hacking liveries rather than competition liveries as it means that the school is getting high useage which increases the maintenance needs.

You are giving him advance notice so that if he does decide that this is not the yard for him then he has plenty of time to make alternate arrangements. Tell him to give it some thought and let you know.
 
Fred66 said:
So based on your update then I suggest that you tell him that you are going to be making a few changes and unfirtunately this may impact him more than the others. You will totally understand if he decides that your livery will not suit him but you will be making summer turnout compulsory 24/7 as you are no longer wanting to do turnouts before the children go to school. Also that you are looking to actively encourage retirement / hacking liveries rather than competition liveries as it means that the school is getting high useage which increases the maintenance needs.

You are giving him advance notice so that if he does decide that this is not the yard for him then he has plenty of time to make alternate arrangements. Tell him to give it some thought and let you know.
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And what happens when he decides to stay, despite the changes? Doesn't that leave the OP with no option but to keep him on?
 
I think people are being a bit harsh to OP. How any times have yard owners complained about liveries only for people to say "your yard, your rules, if they don't like it they can go." Now, when a YO is trying to do that, she's being told she's being unfair. Even if she is (and I don't think she is) she has every right to be. It's her yard, her home and she doesn't have to share it with anybody she doesn't want to, for whatever reason. Would the rest of you put up with a lodger who refuses to speak to you unless it's to complain about when you get up? Even if this person does have some form of ASD, that doesn't give him the right to treat people badly and he can't expect people to make allowances for him if he hasn't told them he has ASD.

Based on what you said OP, I'd just tell him you don't feel it's working for anybody any more and you'd like him to leave but give him an extended notice period to be nice.
 
I think it ones from the ‘your yard your rules’ usually means rules are being broken which doesn’t appear to be the case here just lack of communication/atmosphere.

That said as in my first post they should ask him to leave if they don’t want him there but not to use any of the ‘excuses’ suggested. Just say the arrangement isn’t suiting you because it isn’t and give notice.
 
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