A bit miffed.

[Ossy2]

I read it that the sharer was riding the comp horse, and sharer's friend was riding the share horse.

If this is correct, the sharer needs to be sacked pronto. What on earth is going on in someone's mind to think they can just borrow someone else's horse without asking?! Words fail me...

Then yes I agree I’d be more than a “bit miffed”

 

[Esmae]

I would have gone mental I think you need to get rid of this sharer that's just not on.

Yep that would have been me! OP you are a far better soul than I. I would have gone ballistic then and there. Little madam!!

 

[Fransurrey]

Nope. Nope. Nope. If Fin had a sharer and they’d let their mate borrow Hermosa without me knowing about it and express permission to do so, a whole new crater would have been blown into the West of Scotland with the amount of sh1t I would have lost.

Sounds messy. I would generate a similar crater in the Surrey Hills. She and her friend would have had both barrels and been told to get TF out of the yard.

 

[Cowpony]

Sorry, bit of a diversion, but the title of this post reminded me of this. Borrowed from John Cleese:
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

 

[Ample Prosecco]

OMG if someone 'borrowed' Lottie!!! WTAF? A bit miffed must be the understatement of the century.

 

[Waxwing]

Prior to returning to horse ownership I had share horse for a few months; my daughter did ride him on a few occasions but this was with express permission of the owner and a prior discussion about what my daughter would and wouldn't do. I never presumed she could ride him and checked the owner was ok with it on each occasion. I have made it clear to my daughter that her friends even if they can ride, are not allowed on our new horse, unless this has been agreed with me first and I or another adult is present. (None of her friends have ridden her but this will be expectation if and I when anyone did,) I would never dream of doing anything with someone else's horse without their prior consent.

 

[irishdraft]

No this behaviour is totally unacceptable, I actually probably wouldn't have too much initially because would have been totally gobsmacked that someone thought this was ok. No they probably didn't think about possible accident scenarios but should still have courtesy & respect doesn't matter how old they are. So I would be sacking with immediate effect, carnt trust someone who behaves like that, very disappointing when you let them into your life to be treated like that x

 

[onemoretime]

I’m usually quite relaxed but something that happened last week has got me quite miffed and I think I just need a sense check.

I have had a young sharer riding my horse for a few months. We have had a few teething issues about not looking after tack and equipment but on the whole things are okay.

Last week I got to the farm to find that her and a friend were coming back from a hack along the main road and had ‘borrowed’ my carefully managed competition horse. I have never met friend and no one had asked my permission.

I have put it down to youthful ignorance but if something had happened where would I stand? No one had my permission to take the horse. I don’t even know friends name let alone if they had insurance for the road. No idea if she can ride. What if she/horse had been injured?

I know I need to say something but I was a bit too mad at the time.

I would be furious and put a stop to her riding my horse. She obviously cant be trusted.

 

[onemoretime]

A friend of mine had an old ex-racehorse. She had a girl help her with exercising him who was told explicitly never to let anyone else ride him. One day this girl let a friend ride him, friend trotted off, supposed to be walking only, and he took off. She couldn't really ride and was screaming which made things worse. She fell off backwards and was killed. Tragedy and completely avoidable.

OMG however do you stand insurance wise in a situation like that?

 

[onemoretime]

I read an update from OP that the competition horse was the horse the sharer was sharing? I may have misread If that is not the case then agree but I thought it was a case the sharer had let a friend ride the horse the sharer had on share on one of her share days?

OK I thought there were two horses.

 

[TheHairyOne]

I would have hit the roof! Probably not loudly as i am not a shouty person, but they wouldnt be having anything to do with the horses again.

For all the under 18's I make the parents come up. They are responsible for the childrens behaviour until I am happy with them. For the 17 year olds driving themselves its a nope. Have had the best luck with 14/15 year olds (2 of who are still occasionally riding now at 25 and 23!) or older adults. Both tend to be more understanding of the situation and more grateful for the chance to have their 'own pony' for a lot less than a pony costs!

 

[Ample Prosecco]

I assumed there were 2 horses - one of which is not shared at all. Which makes it utterly beyond the pale. But even if the compeition horse is shared, that is like my own situation. I have a very carefully selected sharer for Lottie and I would hit the roof if she gave other people rides on her. But she absolutely never would! She would not dream of it.

 

[Belmont]

Had similar happen to me years ago on a livery yard. Livery owner took my horse out for a group hack with the rest of the yard - I only found out as I saw photos on one of the other liveries fb but had suspicions it was happening for a while as I'd find a flash on my bridle, when I never used one. She admitted she'd ridden him several times and what made it worse, was that I was slowly bringing him back into work, doing 20 minutes walking and she was jumping him and cantering up verges! At the time I sought advice and someone said it was technically theft. No different to someone taking your car for a spin without permission - not acceptable at all!! As everyone says, get rid of the sharer. Anything could happen and I wonder what else goes on behind your back.

 

[exracehorse]

I’m usually quite relaxed but something that happened last week has got me quite miffed and I think I just need a sense check.

I have had a young sharer riding my horse for a few months. We have had a few teething issues about not looking after tack and equipment but on the whole things are okay.

Last week I got to the farm to find that her and a friend were coming back from a hack along the main road and had ‘borrowed’ my carefully managed competition horse. I have never met friend and no one had asked my permission.

I have put it down to youthful ignorance but if something had happened where would I stand? No one had my permission to take the horse. I don’t even know friends name let alone if they had insurance for the road. No idea if she can ride. What if she/horse had been injured?

I know I need to say something but I was a bit too mad at the time.

I’d hit the roof

 

[JGC]

Oh I'd lose my mind!

 

[Gallop_Away]

Good grief! I’m not sure either of them would have escaped with their lives if it had been me…..and sharer would most certainly never set foot on my yard again.

This...

 

[ycbm]

Had similar happen to me years ago on a livery yard. Livery owner took my horse out for a group hack with the rest of the yard - I only found out as I saw photos on one of the other liveries fb but had suspicions it was happening for a while as I'd find a flash on my bridle, when I never used one. She admitted she'd ridden him several times and what made it worse, was that I was slowly bringing him back into work, doing 20 minutes walking and she was jumping him and cantering up verges! At the time I sought advice and someone said it was technically theft. No different to someone taking your car for a spin without permission - not acceptable at all!! As everyone says, get rid of the sharer. Anything could happen and I wonder what else goes on behind your back.

It's not theft I'm afraid. Theft has to include the intent to permanently deprive. The car example is charged as TWOC, not theft. I doubt any crime was actually committed, sadly. Though if someone did that to my horse there would be a high likelihood of a crime being committed when I found out!
.

 

[ponynutz]

Jesus Christ are the only words that come to mind.

Would 100% get the parents involved, even if just to save your neck incase parents are the type who wouldn't take well to you berating them; they are legally children at the end of the day.

Goodbye sharer

 

[IrishMilo]

I did a fair amount of stupid, embarrassing sh*t when I was younger. Taking someone's horse without permission would not have even crossed my mind.

 

[05jackd]

I assumed there were 2 horses - one of which is not shared at all. Which makes it utterly beyond the pale. But even if the compeition horse is shared, that is like my own situation. I have a very carefully selected sharer for Lottie and I would hit the roof if she gave other people rides on her. But she absolutely never would! She would not dream of it.

That’s right. One is the share horse and the other is a rather hot mare not related to the share at all. At 16.2 and seriously fit she’s not for a novice and she is returning from injury.

Sorry I probably didn’t explain it very well.

 

[ponynutz]

she is returning from injury.

This makes it 10 million times worse, I'm assuming sharer knew this?

 

[Ample Prosecco]

N

That’s right. One is the share horse and the other is a rather hot mare not related to the share at all. At 16.2 and seriously fit she’s not for a novice and she is returning from injury.

Sorry I probably didn’t explain it very well.

You explained it fine and most people thought that is what you meant. In. which case OMFG is all I can say.

 

[Arzada]

That’s right. One is the share horse and the other is a rather hot mare not related to the share at all. At 16.2 and seriously fit she’s not for a novice and she is returning from injury.

Sorry I probably didn’t explain it very well.

It was quite clear that your two horses were out and that only one of them is a share horse.

Speaking of explanations what did the sharer say to you when she and her friend returned to the yard and found you there? And have you sacked her?

 

[Ossy2]

N


You explained it fine and most people thought that is what you meant. In. which case OMFG is all I can say.

Well TBH I got confused what horses were being used actually, so thanks to OP for clarifying and in doing so I agree with everyone else that I’d be furious at the situation.

 

[twiggy2]

That would be the end of the share if they were my horses

 

[dreamcometrue]

I don’t agree. Whilst many of us would have had strong words there and then, words said in the heat of anger aren’t always the best.

However, words once the anger has subsided can often hit home far more effectively.


OP, this isn’t your first post about this sharer. Definitely time for a parting of the ways…

I absolutely agree with you.

However, nowhere in my post that you quoted have I said anything about anger so I don’t know why you have quoted me in that context. I am a very mild and kind person so I’d just like to put that point across and not be ascribed characteristics that I don’t possess.

 

[AmyMay]

I absolutely agree with you.

However, nowhere in my post that you quoted have I said anything about anger so I don’t know why you have quoted me in that context. I am a very mild and kind person so I’d just like to put that point across and not be ascribed characteristics that I don’t possess.

Perhaps ‘heat of the moment’ would have been more appropriate. Apologies.

 

[nagblagger]

I am getting so angry just reading through this thread. I would have been f#cking fuming and they would have known it.
Instant ban from the yard. i can tolerate a lot of things but you mess with my animals and i see red ! Though it would have been funny to watch them get on moody mare with her quirks, i don't think they would have got very far.

 

[05jackd]

I am actually shocked at how common this seems to be.

You have given me a lot of food for thought and I am pleased that I wasn’t over reacting.

The money for the share is minimal (less than £5 a day) and so doesn’t invite me to deal with hassle and certainly doesn’t warrant the sleepless nights I’ve had since this.

 

[cauda equina]

I hope the collective outrage demonstrated here has shown you that sacking the sharer is ok?