Ahem...lady area (downstairs hair!) and riding........

[Flyingsolo]

Hi All,

I will keep this brief and try not to divulge TMI!

Met a guy 12 months ish ago that I now live with. Hadn't done anything with the lady garden area much before apart from a little tidy up here or there but this guy likes it ALL gone. I'm happy to oblige, doesn't really matter to me, but.....read on.

Now I haven't had much chance to ride my horses in the last 12 months due to life and work and Covid, but now I want to ride more, (I've had horses for 30 years and usually ride regularly) something weird is occurring. For the first time ever, I'm getting irritation 'down there' after riding and I can only think it is because of the newly removed hair situation. Its really upsetting me!

Does anyone have any pearls of wisdom? Any one else have the same issue? Any solutions?

Please don't divulge any medical issues, my brain is hard wired to imagine new health problems and then I get huge anxiety over the what ifs!

 

[Roxylola]

Yeah youve removed some of your natural protection and because it's "new" your skin is objecting. Moisturise well, maybe consider different shape of underwear to give a bit more cover but your freshly exposed skin will settle down and toughen up a bit. Or just go back to wildflower meadow instead of a neatly mowed lawn

 

[milliepops]

ah yes. ALL gone would bring massive pain for me! therefore it's not something I've ever been prepared to to

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

What all of it? its probably feeling a bit vulnerable and unprotected and it may even be down to how you are removing it?

I mean I am sparse down there but I leave a little bit for protection

 

[PapaverFollis]

Tell the bloke to grow up, get a grip and accept that real women are not porn stars. Get on with riding your horses without accepting physical discomfort and injury for the sake of a man's preference.

 

[milliepops]

This article about pro cycling was an interesting read. it's not just horse riding that has this issue. www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/2016/aug/15/team-gb-cycling-saddle-sore-medals

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

Tell the bloke to grow up, get a grip and accept that real women are not porn stars. Get on with riding your horses without accepting physical discomfort and injury for the sake of a man's preference.

Why would a man want his partner to resemble a prepubescent child?

 

[HashRouge]

This article about pro cycling was an interesting read. it's not just horse riding that has this issue. www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/2016/aug/15/team-gb-cycling-saddle-sore-medals

Brilliant read!
OP, I think one easy way to tell whether it is your new hair removal program that's causing the issue is to let the hair grow back temporarily and see if it makes a difference. If it does, then I'd have a conversation with your OH as you have to be able to do the things you enjoy without pain/ discomfort. I assume as an adult and your (presumably) loving partner he wouldn't want you to be in pain!
However, it is also worth thinking about the saddle you are riding in. Is it comfortable? Is it a different style/ material to what you would usually ride in? The only time I had trouble with discomfort/ irritation from the saddle was when the seat was a synthetic suede type material. Not comfy at all for me!

 

[Lipglosspukka]

How are you removing the hair?

Shaving against the hair always causes me to get shaving rash so I would avoid doing that. Shaving with the hair isn't quite such a clean finish but I don't get a rash as a result.

Hair removal cream, again, not kind on the skin so I would avoid this method.

Waxing will give a clean finish and I find doesn't cause a rash but good to exfoliate a few days later to help prevent ingrown hairs.

Simple answer though, if it doesn't work for you then don't do it! Our bodies aren't there to please men.

 

[greenbean10]

Tell the bloke to grow up, get a grip and accept that real women are not porn stars. Get on with riding your horses without accepting physical discomfort and injury for the sake of a man's preference.

This!

 

[ester]

Hair reduces friction, ask a cyclist , we add cream too (and I have done for long rides on occasion)
He needs to get over it .

Any solutions? - let it grow back

 

[Flyingsolo]

Hi All,

Thank you for your replies.

I actually think it may be a deal breaker for him and I'm really scared about bringing it up, but all I want to do is enjoy my riding again.

 

[ester]

Good grief if that's a deal breaker for him you are better off out of it!

 

[PapaverFollis]

Good grief if that's a deal breaker for him you are better off out of it!

100% this.

 

[CanteringCarrot]

Hm. I've gone totally bare, a bit bare, trimmed, and whatever else over the years (mostly I don't like too much hair) and I've never noticed much difference. Hmm. I might also consider different types of underwear and maybe a cream of sorts. There was one I saw recommended for riders previously and now I cannot recall the name.

You might get used to it/the skin might get used to it, but I'm not sure.

I understand that people have their preferences when it comes to certain things with their partners, but I don't know what to think when a partner says it's a deal breaker and that you must remove all pubic hair. If my relationship were held together by how I keep my pubic hair, it wouldn't be a serious relationship for me.

 

[AShetlandBitMeOnce]

Shave with the flow of the hair, not against it. Don't use shaving cream, put hair conditioner on, let 'marinate' for a few mins and then shave with that. Exfoliate well a couple of days after.
Use a seamless 'no VPL' pair of soft cotton underwear to ride in and a gel seat saver for more security.
You will never 100% get rid of it though, keeping it 'neat' rather than shaved is much more pleasant.

On a side note though, if it's a deal breaker then you seriously need to think whether you want to be with such a shallow a*sehole. That's like saying I would split up with my fella if he grew a beard..

 

[New2this]

I know what I’d be getting rid of.....

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

Hi All,

Thank you for your replies.

I actually think it may be a deal breaker for him and I'm really scared about bringing it up, but all I want to do is enjoy my riding again.

What?????

That would ring extremely loud alarm bells for me.

 

[Stenners]

When I met my husband - he also liked not a lot down there so i was happy to oblige and have done ever since but I have to say it's never caused me any problem and I'm a cyclist too.

 

[HollyWoozle]

I've never gone totally bare but if trimmed too short then definitely notice the lack of protection. I don't ride regularly at home but clock up long days in the saddle on trips away and a bit of hair for natural protection is essential for comfort in my experience.

I appreciate the prospect of losing a man you're interested in if you don't oblige him in that way is upsetting, but at the end of the day if he expects you to be in pain to accommodate his desires then he's probably not the kindest individual. Having said that, you might be surprised and find that he simply gets over it when it actually comes to it. I am not sure I've met anyone who would turn a good time down over a bit of body hair!

 

[TPO]

Before you leave the manchild I suggest a back, sack & crack wax for him then an hour on a bike. A taste of his own medicine ?

 

[Annagain]

I'll take the "deal-breaker" thing with a pinch of salt as all we know at the moment is that's what you think, not what you know. I'm a bit concerned that you're scared to raise the issue though. Surely you should at least be able to discuss things like this and find a compromise? (although for me, physical discomfort/pain for someone else's aesthetic reasons is not something to compromise on)

 

[ihatework]

Before you leave the manchild I suggest a back, sack & crack wax for him then an hour on a bike. A taste of his own medicine ?

????

 

[SOS]

Some alarming comments on here.

If YOU want to remove YOUR pubic hair for any reason at all that is fine. It does NOT make you a wanna-be porn star or look like a child. You are a grown woman. If YOU do NOT want to remove your pubic hair this is also completely fine.

ANYONE else having opinions on your pubic hair is not okay, whether that’s a man or otherwise. Everyone can have a preference but it should not be enforced into anyone.

Please can people stop saying that a grown woman who chooses to remove her pubic hair is a child?

 

[Red-1]

I get that everyone has preferences. I, however, would be very cautious of being with a man for whom this would be a deal breaker. Would it also be a deal breaker if you had a scar on your face, or lost part of a limb?

I also get that maybe for you, that wouldn't be a deal breaker.

I guess I am talking from my, older, self, where Mr Red and I have been together for 31 years, and in that time we have watched each other change on the outside so much. It is his personality I love, and his body comes with that fabulous personality, so even as it has got bigger, wrinklier, greyer and older, it is still fabulous.

I was also only ever interested in a long term relationship, where bodily changes are expected.

I get that it may be different for you. However, it is a discussion forum, and that is my point of view.

 

[mini_b]

I’m going to ignore the fact you’re doing it for him and if you choose to do it for yourself…

I get rid of everything, I naturally have thick, dark coarse hair which I can’t shave/wax/cream because ingrown hairs. I have chosen to do this for the last 18 years, not influenced by the preferences of others may I add!

it’s expensive but if it’s for you, treat yourself to some laser hair removal.
your skin becomes less sensitive over time, wear seamless knickers and get a seat saver.

If he’s making you feel worried/awkward about it it’s a bit of a red flag, honestly think you should book him in for a back sack and crack, your treat eh!!

 

[Fransurrey]

I've never understood the bald look. I noticed on Tits and Willies (Naked Attraction - it's like a morbid fascination watch for me) that they're 99 % baldy. It does make me think of pre-pubescent children, sorry SOS.

I would be telling him straight that you're not removing the bit that causes issues. If he doesn't like it, he knows where the door is. I can't even trim down there without intense irritation, so I leave it feral these days and I'll leave you with that image... ;-)

 

[Arzada]

Hi All,

Thank you for your replies.

I actually think it may be a deal breaker for him and I'm really scared about bringing it up, but all I want to do is enjoy my riding again.

You don't need to bring it up. He isn't scared to bring it up control you so be strong and take back control of your own body.

 

[fetlock]

If he wants this



And you prefer this



And what you prefer is a deal breaker for him, get shot of him and don't look back.

 

[Prancerpoos]

I actually think it may be a deal breaker for him and I'm really scared about bringing it up, but all I want to do is enjoy my riding again.

Sorry to wander off topic a bit as your question is about relieving the discomfort rather than relationship advice, but please take this the right way.

If this really is a deal breaker for him then I think you should very carefully consider if this is the man for you. Has he changed any of his physical appearance for you in a way that he does not like and that causes him and kind of pain/discomfort? I do not think you should stay in a relationship where you are scared to bring up the fact that something you have done is causing you pain and stopping you from doing something you love, i.e. riding your horses. If you explain the issue to him and he says that that's it and he's off - well you will be well rid of him. I don't want to overdramatise, but it does sound way too controlling for me, but it is your relationship and I know everyone is different.

I suspect your horses will still be there long after the man has gone.