Ahem...lady area (downstairs hair!) and riding........

[Griffin]

I would have your lady garden however you want it. It's your body after all.

In the meantime, while you grow it back, lots of moisturiser, gentle exfoliation and cotton underwear.

 

[Trouper]

What will he next want to control?? Sorry - but this is ringing all sorts of alarm bells for me way beyond the initial issue.

 

[Lou27]

I actually think it may be a deal breaker for him and I'm really scared about bringing it up, but all I want to do is enjoy my riding again.

Joking aside, If a friend told me that I’d be really concerned. You’ve only been together 12 months and he’s dictating how you should look and what you should do with your body? Please tell him to do one before you invest more into this.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

I think fact that your scared to bring up the situation with him suggests the relationship is not right at all in fact I find it quite sad you feel like that ?

 

[Annagain]

Maybe (hopefully) he'll surprise you and care more that you're comfortable.

 

[rabatsa]

I remember having this discussion 40 years ago. I told him to take a hike. It is our 40th wedding anniversary in January.

 

[webble]

I honestly wouldn't stay with someone who considered that a deal breaker. If you want to then maybe try some big granny pants so nothing rubs and either talc or vaseline. Good luck

 

[SantaVera]

The guy sounds like a pervert.ditch him and grow your hair back.

 

[ester]

When I met my husband - he also liked not a lot down there so i was happy to oblige and have done ever since but I have to say it's never caused me any problem and I'm a cyclist too.

It depends a bit on conformation.

 

[FireCracker238]

Didn't OP say she lived with him? Getting rid of him maybe easier said than done, however I do agree that the deal breaker bit rings alarm bells. I hope you can find a solution soon OP

 

[lynz88]

Tbh I keep a little down there but I do keep it short and neat (as much as I can) but remove the majority and don't have any problems. Strangely I have problems when it grows in - I find it extremely uncomfortable including to ride.

Not to pry but if this is a convo that the OP feels that they can't have with their partner and/or this is the make or break issue for the OH, then the relationship is doomed. End of. In fact I would be showing him the door and telling him not to let it hit him on the way out. There are many other hard convos that couples have and this isn't one of them. That said, I don't know how old anyone is and tbf, in my younger years, I can see how it would be awkward. I think as we get older we learn to accept ourselves and our preferences more and if someone else isn't going to play ball, the door is there....wide open....

 

[MinKo]

The guy sounds like a pervert

Why?
I do agree though that if he is that controlling it's time to walk away.

 

[Tiddlypom]

It depends a bit on conformation.

I'm a cyclist too, and my squishy bits need all the protection that they can get .

Different strokes for different folks, but if any bloke had tried to offer suggestions let alone impositions on how he wanted my lady garden to look then he'd be gone.

 

[ester]

I'm just not sure why anyone who purports to like you would prefer you to be in discomfort.

 

[PapaverFollis]

He should be thanking his lucky stars he's allowed to be be in your naked presence... not dictating to you what personal grooming you should do. The entitled pr*ck.

 

[Labaire]

I think everything that I would like to say has been said by TPO and PF.

But, if I ride in certain makes of treed saddle when I have lessons on RS horses, I am much more comfortable in some equetech padded riding knickers. Not a problem in my treeless saddle. Might help?

 

[meleeka]

I agree with whoever said to grow it back temporarily and see how it is then.
If he has any feelings for you he’ll understand you are in pain and growing it back could stop that. If he complains, then you’ll know he doesn’t care and can move on with your life without him. You definitely do need to have a conversation with him sooner rather than later.

 

[honetpot]

Hi All,

Thank you for your replies.

I actually think it may be a deal breaker for him and I'm really scared about bringing it up, but all I want to do is enjoy my riding again.

OMG.
I think this is treating a woman like a sex toy, not having an opinion on how it's used.

I went to a very graphic lecture on FGM, the most radical they leave a just hole, so women and children are prone to womb and urinary infections. What is it about a women normal body that is so offensive, but its OK to piece and tattoo just about anything, I've just about seen it all.

 

[Birker2020]

Please can people stop saying that a grown woman who chooses to remove her pubic hair is a child?

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this

 

[Tiddlypom]

No-one has said that it's not up up to individual women as to how they manage their pubic hair. If they want to fly hairless, then fine.

I would think it beyond odd and well into creepy territory if a male partner preferred the bald and yes, childlike, look.

 

[cauda equina]

Please can people stop saying that a grown woman who chooses to remove her pubic hair is a child?

Has anyone said that? If so I missed it
It has simply been pointed out that pre-pubescent children do not have pubic hair
Women of an age to be sexually active naturally do

 

[SOS]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this

It’s been around for a while now the notion that’s it’s not okay for a man to tell a woman what to do but it’s okay for other women to put down other women for how they look. No one has the right to tell you what to do with you body, bar maybe a doctor!

So how’s it different if a man likes no hair to a woman liking no hair? Some women like men with no pubic or body hair, is that perverted? Last time I watched magic Mike I definitely didn’t think they looked like children.

I just don’t see how removing pubic hair on a grown person makes them look like a child.

 

[SOS]

Has anyone said that? If so I missed it
It has simply been pointed out that pre-pubescent children do not have pubic hair
Women of an age to be sexually active naturally do

“Why would a man want his partner to resemble a prepubescent child?

It does make me think of pre-pubescent children, sorry SOS.

I would think it beyond odd and well into creepy territory if a male partner preferred the bald and yes, childlike, look.”

Woman of an age to be sexually active naturally do have pubic hair, as well as armpit hair, breasts and many other features a child doesn’t have. What they choose to do with their features is up to them.

 

[cauda equina]

It's up to them, yes
But up to their partner?

 

[SpottyTB]

OP hasn’t said how the original conversation about it all being gone came around.. it may not have happened how everyone thinks..

It may be, that they could have been watching something (naked attraction for example) and OP made a comment about the difference in gardening approach and then boyfriend might have said “oh I personally like it all gone / less is more / whatever” …

OP could also be taking it that it’s a deal breaker when actually it may not be if she actually speaks to him?!

I mean absolutely if he’s dictated what she’s got to do with her garden, then yes warning bells and a relationship reevaluation!

FWIW i have some weird issue with hair ? and prefer little to nothing.
So I tend to remove everything. I have never had a problem when riding, in fact I find it more uncomfortable when it’s growing back. Electric trimmer (phone autocorrected that to strimmer ?) and exfoliate before then a day after. You can also get creams to help with shaving rashes, soreness and in grown hairs.

OP I hope boyfriend isn’t forcing you into anything, I think it’s absolutely fine to have preferences but really important to accept each other’s personal choices about their own body.

 

[Poingsettia]

Or just go back to wildflower meadow instead of a neatly mowed lawn

This made me ?

 

[AShetlandBitMeOnce]

I think as we get older we learn to accept ourselves and our preferences more and if someone else isn't going to play ball, the door is there....wide open....

I don't think it's an age thing, I think it a healthy relationship thing. I am 25 and my boyfriend has his preference which is simply 'not out of control' but not once has he ever said a word about it or not 'got on with the job' - and it's been in varying states over the time we have been together
Nor has he ever said anything about my hairy legs when I didn't shave for about a month during winter.. he loves me for me, same as I said nothing to him about his front tooth when it broke and he only got a new one last week after 8 months due to saving up the funds..

It’s been around for a while now the notion that’s it’s not okay for a man to tell a woman what to do but it’s okay for other women to put down other women for how they look. No one has the right to tell you what to do with you body, bar maybe a doctor!

So how’s it different if a man likes no hair to a woman liking no hair? Some women like men with no pubic or body hair, is that perverted? Last time I watched magic Mike I definitely didn’t think they looked like children.

I just don’t see how removing pubic hair on a grown person makes them look like a child.

Yes but they have said that no pubic hair makes you look like a child, it's clearly expressing their opinion. You sometimes just have to not look for things to be offended about, everyone is entitled to their opinion and they don't have to stop saying it just because it offends you.

 

[AmyMay]

Op, if you’re shaving that could be the issue. I used to have the whole area waxed and never had any discomfort riding my horse - as others have said though, some of this could be to do with comformation.

However it may be worth allowing a slight fuzz to see if it makes a difference, also perhaps some good padded pants.

As for the rest, your body, your choice. Never be afraid of telling someone what you wish to happen to your body. And never ask for permission.

 

[lynz88]

ASBMO - you're one of a few I think! But I do very much agree on the healthy relationship thing.

 

[SOS]

Yes but they have said that no pubic hair makes you look like a child, it's clearly expressing their opinion. You sometimes just have to not look for things to be offended about, everyone is entitled to their opinion and they don't have to stop saying it just because it offends you.

I’m not offended, I want everyone to be free to do what they like with their pubic hair without judgement, such as people saying they look like a child.

Also a younger adult here, whose partner couldn’t give a flying toss about my pubic hair. We both don’t like to judge people.