Boggle- USA bound!

Michen said:
I’m so upset. I told one of my friends here and she can’t understand why I’d PTS a horse that’s retired and only lame at the trot.

Now I feel like a murderer.
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I think you need to stop listening to everyone else. As amazing as it is having a huge community of people offering advice, it can sometimes influence your own decisions and you're being pushed and shoved between so many different opinions that you don't know what YOU would actually do.

You are not a murderer and would not be a murderer. If the shoe was on the other foot, what would you have advised?
 
GrassChop said:
I think you need to stop listening to everyone else. As amazing as it is having a huge community of people offering advice, it can sometimes influence your own decisions and you're being pushed and shoved between so many different opinions that you don't know what YOU would actually do.

You are not a murderer and would not be a murderer. If the shoe was on the other foot, what would you have advised?
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Honestly, I'm not. No one really influences my decisions. I put things out there, musing out loud, but I always, always go with what I feel is best.

I am going ahead with what I feel is the best solution for the next 7 days, it just hurts if people close to me don't understand it. Especially the ones here, who see Boggle :(
 
Michen said:
Honestly, I'm not. No one really influences my decisions. I put things out there, musing out loud, but I always, always go with what I feel is best.

I am going ahead with what I feel is the best solution for the next 7 days, it just hurts if people close to me don't understand it. Especially the ones here, who see Boggle :(
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I'm glad that you do always go with your gut. I get so easily influenced with people saying different things so I personally find it harder to make a decision.

You're doing investigations first, it's not like you're going to PTS right now. It's about his quality of life and what you think is best, no one else.

I honestly don't think it would be the wrong thing to do. If your horse wants to trot across his field and can't do it comfortably then it's not unreasonable to decide that.
 
Michen said:
I’m so upset. I told one of my friends here and she can’t understand why I’d PTS a horse that’s retired and only lame at the trot.

Now I feel like a murderer.
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I’m afraid for any of us that have had to consider/make the call, you will be faced with multiple people who will pass judgement on your decision, you know your horse best and what is best for your horse, absolutely ignore anyone who isn’t putting your horse’s best interests first. *hug*
 
Maxidoodle said:
I’m afraid for any of us that have had to consider/make the call, you will be faced with multiple people who will pass judgement on your decision, you know your horse best and what is best for your horse, absolutely ignore anyone who isn’t putting your horse’s best interests first. *hug*
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Isn't that insane though? How can anyone who knows me, or even reads about Bog and I on here, not think it will absolutely destroy me to PTS my best friend. Why would I ever, ever do that if I didn't truly believe it was the best thing, the only kind thing, for him.

I can barely breathe at the moment it feels like, I'm only just holding my s*** together enough to do work calls and sobbing in between, and I've got to get through 7 days of not knowing/kind of knowing.
 
Michen said:
Isn't that insane though? How can anyone who knows me, or even reads about Bog and I on here, not think it will absolutely destroy me to PTS my best friend. Why would I ever, ever do that if I didn't truly believe it was the best thing, the only kind thing, for him.

I can barely breathe at the moment it feels like, I'm only just holding my s*** together enough to do work calls and sobbing in between, and I've got to get through 7 days of not knowing/kind of knowing.
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It is insane, I went through it last year with my heart horse, he was my absolute best friend too, we were totally without options, as the ministry vet of the country we were in would not approve him to travel based on his age, despite my own vet there being happy for him to travel, I’d had him 15yrs and leaving him there was never a possibility (even my vet agreed he couldn’t be left there), I told friends but one person who I thought was an understanding friend started on this mission to find somewhere there he could go to! She went on and on at me, telling me what I was doing was wrong (he was 33yrs old by the way), honestly it almost got me to the point where I almost felt suicidal because of her. People don’t think about the owner or the horse and consider that the owner knows their horse best, they see it as a personal mission to try to save the horse.

That person isn’t a real friend, they’re not considering you or Bog. I suggest you distance yourself from them, whilst this is all going on. You don’t know for sure yet, try (I know it’s hard) not to think the worst until you know what is truly going on. *hug*
 
There's nothing really I can say that will make things easier for you but sending hugs and vibes across the Atlantic. I think I can safely say everyone on here supports you and understands your plan, it seems very sensible and was made with Bog's interest at heart.
Please try to enjoy this week in that beautiful setting with both horses (easier said than done, I know). Spoil them and yourself rotten, you all deserve it, whatever the outcome.
 
So sorry @Michen. It's just bloody awful to be in this situation, after everything you have been through. It's not over till the Fat Lady sings of course and you are totally right to get a vet 's perspective, and that may include a whole load of things. But in the meantime, you are the person that absolutely knows what is in this horse's best interests and you are strong enough, in spite of everything, to make decisions. It's no one else's business, even if people are trying to help/be kind. No words of wisdom from me but many of us have been there too. Hugs xx
 
Michen said:
Honestly, I'm not. No one really influences my decisions. I put things out there, musing out loud, but I always, always go with what I feel is best.

I am going ahead with what I feel is the best solution for the next 7 days, it just hurts if people close to me don't understand it. Especially the ones here, who see Boggle :(
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It’s not your friend who has to watch while the life gets sucked out of Bog because his pain isn’t controlled. You know he deserves better than that and thank goodness you will be brave enough if needed.
 
I know this sounds kinda weird, but its like Bog came with me to this country and "set me up" with my life here, the people I've met, the experiences I've had, the friends I've made. And now he's done it and has to leave me.

People always say "your so brave to move across the country alone", but I wasn't alone, I had Bog, however sad and stressful it's been I always had his cheerful face and a head shove from him to keep me grounded. I'd never have settled into this country and life so well without him. Obviously he was my best mate before we left the UK, but it's so different/stronger now.

I know he's just a horse but he's not, he's not normal, he never has been.
 
Sorry, but I firmly believe that folk who think it is cruel to pts are not really "horse" people. What is cruel is to make them struggle on because we haven't got the emotional strength to let them go in peace.

We never got to the bottom of what ailed my last horse despite every test under the sun. The very last thing that I could think of to do was to ask a trusted animal communicator friend to help - all they saw was pain that "no amount of bute would help". You may think that was a mad idea but veterinary science had nothing more to offer and that last step was more for my peace of mind than anything else. I wanted to go to my grave knowing that there was no other way of discovering the cause. I have never doubted that decision.

You will be in our thoughts over the next few days.
 
M, big hugs. You will do the right thing for your wonderful friend and companion. I don’t doubt that. I don’t doubt that your decision, whatever it may be, will cause you anguish.

We’re here for you.
 
I put my horse of a life time to sleep this year. He was retired but looked well, there were just a few things that you wouldn't notice if you didn't "know" him. I purposely told very few people, only the people at the yard who had to know. ie yard owner and a very trusted friend who I knew was on the same wavelength as me.

I did this to protect myself. If anyone has asked since I just say he went down hill, which he had, but probably not to what they expected. Only you KNOW your boy like YOU know your boy.

I have no regrets, yes maybe he could have had a few more ok months, maybe a year perhaps, but he would have been uncomfortable at times. I knew he did not have the same sparkle, and I know I have saved him any future suffering.

I miss him dearly, but I miss the happy version, and hold on to there memories.
It is a relief to know I won't see him uncomfortable, and I don't miss the constant worry of what I will find each time I go to the yard
 
You have done every thing possible for Boggle. Spent far more money on him than many of us could or would have done. You know him and the circumstance better than anyone.
Lets hope that with pain relief and a little time that he does improve enough to continue. If not, only you can make the final decision for him. Hes your horse. As much as a lot of us have enjoyed reading about your journey with him, you know him best. You have to do what is best for both of you. I am sorry that you are faced with this but you will cope.
 
I get so cross when owners are challenged on the worst decision a horse owner has to make. I know someone who put their 17yr old horse down at our yard. I don’t know why it needed to be done, all I knew was that she loved her horse and was upset. That’s all I need to know and it’s none of my damn business. A friend of mine pts her 28yr old as his time had come. No idea on the details but she’s his owner and loved him so therefore it’s the right thing to do. So many people judge when they have no right to. I’m so sorry you’re going through this and we all know you only have Bogs interests at heart. Thinking of you during this awful time.
 
Nothing to offer but support. You know your horse better than anyone else does. It is not acceptable for a retired horse to be in pain everyday, but you’re doing everything you can to spare him, because he’s young and full of life. I really get it. I emptied my savings account to try and save my horse of a lifetime, but he kept on going downhill and I knew we had run out of options. That knowledge kept me sane, I know I tried my best. As I went to get him for the vet, he took off galloping and bucking around the field and anyone would have thought I was insane for going ahead. But I saw what I knew I would see when he pulled up, a horse who could not catch his breath and was heaving and shaking with the effort. It’s so hard to be waiting to make a decision, I spent two weeks hoping and praying and willing the medication to work. I really hope that you find something straightforward that you can fix, but if you don’t, please know that you have tried your best for him and he is incredibly lucky to have you as a owner.
 
mini-eventer said:
I put my horse of a life time to sleep this year. He was retired but looked well, there were just a few things that you wouldn't notice if you didn't "know" him. I purposely told very few people, only the people at the yard who had to know. ie yard owner and a very trusted friend who I knew was on the same wavelength as me.

I did this to protect myself. If anyone has asked since I just say he went down hill, which he had, but probably not to what they expected. Only you KNOW your boy like YOU know your boy.

I have no regrets, yes maybe he could have had a few more ok months, maybe a year perhaps, but he would have been uncomfortable at times. I knew he did not have the same sparkle, and I know I have saved him any future suffering.

I miss him dearly, but I miss the happy version, and hold on to there memories.
It is a relief to know I won't see him uncomfortable, and I don't miss the constant worry of what I will find each time I go to the yard
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Thank you. Wrote a longer reply but deleted it. X
 
I am really struggling. My barn owner (also a friend) does not agree either. They think he needs to go back there I guess because when he left he was seemingly fine and happy. I understand that thinking.

I love that place, it’s been a sanctuary for me, and now I don’t know that feel I can take Dusty back there without Boggle. It would be so awkward and uncomfortable. So next Thursday I might not only lose my horse, but have to immediately re route Dusty somewhere else, too (owners of house and horses are coming back Friday). And even if Bog doesn't get PTS thursday for whatever reason, how can I go back anywhere with him where I know there won't be support for PTS unless it's completely, blindingly obvious aka catastrophic or my horse is utterly miserable.

The physical stress my body feels under right now is unreal.

Please, no comments re the lack of support, they are wonderful people and I know they are just concerned for me and Bog. It’s just a difference in opinions. I just feel utterly hopeless.
 
In any decision there will always be a what if.
There's always a but and a maybe.
You can't change the past.
You can't predict the future.
You make your decision based on You.

People may have done things differently with my old horse when i made the decision. But they would have also made many many other decisions in his life which may have sent him down a different path...better or worse.

Row your own boat x
 
'After reviewing his condition, his recent/current pain levels and his prognosis for the future, the vet and I came to the decision together that, we have gone as far as we can with treatment and that it was unfair on him to continue. We agreed that the kindest thing for him was to call it a day.'

What is actually said is between you and the vet and nobody else's business.

I know how lonely it is having to make a decision like this. It's doubly difficult when it feels like others are judging you.
It may well be that they think they are helping by being positive and trying to give you hope. I imagine they'll still be there for you if you you decide its time.
 
Michen said:
I will, no one is going to sway me from what I feel is the right decision, I'm just distraught at the idea of having to uproot another part of my life because I don't feel I can be around people who don't understand when I'm going to be at my absolute lowest.
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Hopefully it is a decision you won’t have to do for a while and it is a hoof abcesses or something simple and treatable.

I think all you can say to those who are struggling to understand the situation if you need to PTS is that his pain has become unmanageable and that there is no treatment or cure to give him a comfortable retirement and that your vet has agreed that the decision you are making is the right one.
 
Michen, you need to do what you know is right. Others have opinions, but they are not living in your shoes, they don’t know Bog like you do. If you feel you can’t return to the barn with Dusty, they be what may, a new place may be a better place. .

I only know you from on this forum, but you been through some stuff since you landed in USA,
You are a strong woman, Do what is right in your heart. Be it PTS or manage Bog with drugs, But if the former, just do it without telling anyone, am sure you have one or two supporters, we can all hear about it afterwards.
You don’t need people in here saying oh why you doing such and such. They are not you.. They don’t know Bog like you do.

I feel for you. I did it once, PTS first horse who injured a knee. It was never right. But I couldn’t watch her in pain with every step.

My heart goes out to you, Bog and Pepper. Xxxxx
 
Thank you everyone. It just feels a bit overwhelming. I have the logistics of moving out the place that’s been home for the last four months, next week. Plus potentially putting my horse to sleep. Plus potentially having to move the other horse to a new barn.

Plus a very busy job (thank goodness with no travel until mid May).

It’s just a lot. And I can’t eat and feel physically very shaky. Ordered some protein shake stuff off Amazon though that should arrive today.

And it’s hard. This is Bog last night, throwing his rug at me cos he felt dinner was late 🤣. I totally get why anyone would look at him and wonder how you could possibly consider putting him down.

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