Sandstone1
Well-Known Member
He was a very special horse, he touched so many people who had never even met him. Thank you for sharing him with us all.
Boggle- USA bound!
- Thread starter Michen
- Start date
sarah.oxford
Well-Known Member
Awww the photo of him talking to the little dude 
Michen
Well-Known Member
Awww the photo of him talking to the little dude
It was so funny the mini swiped at him and tried to bite him, I don’t think that’s ever happened to Bog in his life he was so stunned that he just let out a little squeak and backed off
rextherobber
Well-Known Member
So very sorry for your loss
sychnant
Well-Known Member
So so sorry 
Kkst14
New User
I am deeply sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing, it’s truly been an incredible journey. The bond you two shared was so special. You were truly blessed to have had that.
He has the absolute best anyone could have given and more. I know times were tough towards the end but seeing him so happy with his little herd was heartwarming. Take your time to grieve, cherish those special moments x
Thank you for sharing, it’s truly been an incredible journey. The bond you two shared was so special. You were truly blessed to have had that.
He has the absolute best anyone could have given and more. I know times were tough towards the end but seeing him so happy with his little herd was heartwarming. Take your time to grieve, cherish those special moments x
Titchy Pony
Well-Known Member
Michen, I'm so very sorry you had to let Boggle go. It was the most loving thing you ever did for him, at exactly the right time. What you and Boggle had was something special and thank you for sharing it with us all, I'm another who shed tears reading your latest posts. Obviously you know how amazing Boggle was, but we all felt it from the other side of a screen. Stars that shine as bright as Boggle can be seen for a long time after they're gone, I hope that the light of everything you experienced with Boggle and learned from him will help you in the days to come. Take care.
Apercrumbie
Well-Known Member
What a special boy, I am so, so sorry for your loss. This particular grief is so agonising and we all hoped you'd have a bit longer before feeling it. But you are a strong owner with the utmost commitment to Boggle's happiness above your own.
I'm not sure whether this is an appropriate thing to say and I apologise if it isn't, but in those photos of his last few days his eye looks different to how he has been looking earlier in the year. I don't know how to describe it - maybe it's that he looks more tired? I am only saying this to say that I 100% believe you when you say that the time was right (not that I would have ever doubted it in the first place - you have clearly always put him & his needs first). I hope this is comforting that you have got the decision right, and if it isn't I am really sorry and I will delete my post.
I'm not sure whether this is an appropriate thing to say and I apologise if it isn't, but in those photos of his last few days his eye looks different to how he has been looking earlier in the year. I don't know how to describe it - maybe it's that he looks more tired? I am only saying this to say that I 100% believe you when you say that the time was right (not that I would have ever doubted it in the first place - you have clearly always put him & his needs first). I hope this is comforting that you have got the decision right, and if it isn't I am really sorry and I will delete my post.
Michen
Well-Known Member
It's exactly what started things off, I even sent CC a video of him and his expression to say I think somethings changed. Followed with "I don't think he's going to make winter" a few days later I think, IDK I can't remember there was a lot of back and forth. I had bloods run (which were normal). I thought it was maybe because at the time it was still very warm, and he had a thick hairy coat. But then other things showed up and I just knew.
palo1
Well-Known Member
This last is just such a beautiful image of Bog and his Coloradan idyll. Hugs xx
Errin Paddywack
Well-Known Member
I had noticed that too, wasn't sure if I really was seeing it or just hindsight.
Michen
Well-Known Member
No you are right. I really thought I was losing the plot when I first thought his eye was different. Not helped by him having to have a tear duct flushed out as it was blocked (but the other unaffected eye was the same).
The eye changed before the physical things became more apparent.
The eye changed before the physical things became more apparent.
Apercrumbie
Well-Known Member
I hope that either now and/or in the future you will get true comfort from doing right by him. It has been so obvious how much he still wanted to be here throughout his health troubles, and when things deteriorated you listened to him. Seeing him look so gleeful & mischievous after his ataxia attack has been joyful, thank you for sharing all of this with us. He is no doubt a forum favourite, if not the forum favourite.
sheep
Well-Known Member
I can’t really add anything more than others have already so eloquently described: firstly, I am so, so sorry that you have had to say goodbye to your precious Boggle.
Your love for him was always so evident and so many of us loved him too, in our own way, despite having never met him.
He was a very lucky boy to have had a partner that unfailingly advocated for him, always, always always.
I am so sad that your story ended sooner than we all would’ve hoped but as Titchy Pony so beautifully put it, his star will burn brightly and he truly did make us mark on so many of us, in all corners of the world. Thank you for sharing him with us - the highs, the lows, the agony and the ecstasy.
He won’t ever be forgotten.
I feel like, in the years of being an HHO forumite, some horses became HHO horses and Boggle truly was one of that gang.
We are here to support you, please do make use of us whenever you need or want. Xx
Your love for him was always so evident and so many of us loved him too, in our own way, despite having never met him.
He was a very lucky boy to have had a partner that unfailingly advocated for him, always, always always.
I am so sad that your story ended sooner than we all would’ve hoped but as Titchy Pony so beautifully put it, his star will burn brightly and he truly did make us mark on so many of us, in all corners of the world. Thank you for sharing him with us - the highs, the lows, the agony and the ecstasy.
He won’t ever be forgotten.
I feel like, in the years of being an HHO forumite, some horses became HHO horses and Boggle truly was one of that gang.
We are here to support you, please do make use of us whenever you need or want. Xx
Michen
Well-Known Member
Thank you for the very touching words. I have yet to sob into my hands today. Actually just feel kinda numb and... ok? Depressed but calm.
Kind of weird, almost feels like I don't care or can't care.
Kind of weird, almost feels like I don't care or can't care.
palo1
Well-Known Member
You're probably pretty much exhausted but I think that is part of the acceptance and eventually healing process...
Michen
Well-Known Member
If I’m done with the hysterical part already I’ll be really thrilled lol as I thought I’d be wailing on the sofa longer than this.
I guess I have had a while to accept it even before the decision was made, as it’s been such a constant worry really for the last year. Maybe the healing process has kind of already begun months ago I don’t know.
Whilst I won’t do anything rash I’m going to have a look at a barn here tomorrow that does pasture board (almost impossible to find in Arizona so rather difficult to have a young horse as turnout is so limited). I am fairly sure I can work out the logistics of Helo, my current barn, my current house situation so that all is still there in spring and I could come here for the worst winter months. I just love it here, i wouldn’t want to move permanently but I do think I have a new amount of “freedom” now I don’t have to worry about a fragile Bog, so maybe I should use it.
I guess I have had a while to accept it even before the decision was made, as it’s been such a constant worry really for the last year. Maybe the healing process has kind of already begun months ago I don’t know.
Whilst I won’t do anything rash I’m going to have a look at a barn here tomorrow that does pasture board (almost impossible to find in Arizona so rather difficult to have a young horse as turnout is so limited). I am fairly sure I can work out the logistics of Helo, my current barn, my current house situation so that all is still there in spring and I could come here for the worst winter months. I just love it here, i wouldn’t want to move permanently but I do think I have a new amount of “freedom” now I don’t have to worry about a fragile Bog, so maybe I should use it.
Michen
Well-Known Member
Got sent this, made me smile a little. Even though I don’t even want to see him in real life right now, I am still glad he’s there waiting.
Bernster
Well-Known Member
I’ve not really had to deal with major grief before this year. I’d say it may be more up and down than you realise, and can still hit hard at odd times and just as hard as at the beginning. But less often. And I think you get to handle it better with time and feeling ready to move on.
Equi
Well-Known Member
I was thinking about this the other day.. about feeling ok. After a blow it’s quite easy to think you need to not be ok and we hear all the time “its ok not to be ok”
But it is also ok to be ok! My dad said to me today (he’s going through cancer treatment to make this make sense) “ I feel great. I keep thinking I shouldn’t feel great I should feel like I’m dying but I feel great” to which I said that’s good, feel what you feel!
So in summery, as I’ve said before, feel what you feel.
Also, atlas looks like he’s having a blast. Had he much experience with snow?
But it is also ok to be ok! My dad said to me today (he’s going through cancer treatment to make this make sense) “ I feel great. I keep thinking I shouldn’t feel great I should feel like I’m dying but I feel great” to which I said that’s good, feel what you feel!
So in summery, as I’ve said before, feel what you feel.
Also, atlas looks like he’s having a blast. Had he much experience with snow?
Birker2020
Well-Known Member
So sorry for your loss
rabatsa
Confuddled
You were Bog's person, you had worked with him and built up a relationship, you had been a constant in his life with all its changes, of course he always looked for you.
Give Atlas time, you have barely been introduced let alone got to know each other inside out. When you have both worked on a relationship then you will belong to each other and develop your own bonds. Not the same bonds as Boggles as you will not tread the same path as you did with him, but bonds all the same.
The grief is yours and you need to do it your way, no one can tell you what is right or wrong for you.
Give Atlas time, you have barely been introduced let alone got to know each other inside out. When you have both worked on a relationship then you will belong to each other and develop your own bonds. Not the same bonds as Boggles as you will not tread the same path as you did with him, but bonds all the same.
The grief is yours and you need to do it your way, no one can tell you what is right or wrong for you.
Cloball
Well-Known Member
I think it's perfectly normal to feel numb and also to feel like you've already grieved. My husband lost his mum not long after we met but she was ill for a long time and so they went through a lot of the grieving process together, before. I have spent quite a bit of time in hospitals etc. and I think this is fairly common when you have time before. A lot of people feel relief when it finally happens and then guilt for feeling relieved. All is ok and natural, feelings are to be felt which I think you are doing admirably.
Tarragon
Well-Known Member
I lost my pony of a life time earlier this year, and it was very sudden due to liver failure leading to ataxia. He looked a little wobbly on the Saturday, and I called the vet on the Monday and he was put down that day. In a way, it took a hard decision out of my hands, and whilst it was such an incredible shock at the time, looking back I feel that it was good for both of us. He was still happy to canter up the field with his friends on the Sunday when turned out in the morning, and on Monday he was gone. No agonising about whether it was the right time, or seeing him deteriorate or in pain.
Michen
Well-Known Member
Thank you. I have arranged for the horses to be totally covered until the 12th December, so I will make my way back to Colorado over the weekend (the long way, via Sedona and Moab), and then leave wednesday for my Africa trip. I will see the horses when I get back.
I think going back to Colorado is going to be very upsetting, actually I know it is. I've always been so pleased to return there because Boggle was there. I've never really been homesick in this country again, because I had Boggle with me and wherever he was really was home. I now feel very detached and like... wtf...where do I even want to be. Do I even need a "big" job like this now? I know this sounds so stupid but my whole motivation for the last 8 years career wise was very linked to Boggle. He was not a cheap pony to maintain and keep, throw in eventing into that too plus liking to travel and it really gave me the reason to earn the money to support it all. Now I just kind of feel like what's the point, I could jack all this in and just go work in something meaningful and outdoorsy.
It's also a year bang on since the shark attack, so there's that.
It seems like November is usually a bad month and next year I may make sure I'm hibernating somewhere!
I'm sorry, Tarragon, about your horse xx
I think going back to Colorado is going to be very upsetting, actually I know it is. I've always been so pleased to return there because Boggle was there. I've never really been homesick in this country again, because I had Boggle with me and wherever he was really was home. I now feel very detached and like... wtf...where do I even want to be. Do I even need a "big" job like this now? I know this sounds so stupid but my whole motivation for the last 8 years career wise was very linked to Boggle. He was not a cheap pony to maintain and keep, throw in eventing into that too plus liking to travel and it really gave me the reason to earn the money to support it all. Now I just kind of feel like what's the point, I could jack all this in and just go work in something meaningful and outdoorsy.
It's also a year bang on since the shark attack, so there's that.
It seems like November is usually a bad month and next year I may make sure I'm hibernating somewhere!
I'm sorry, Tarragon, about your horse xx
Tarragon
Well-Known Member
Definitely an opportunity to re-evaluate your life. I have been made redundant twice over the decades, and on both occasions I found myself better off afterwards as I was forced to make a change which I wouldn't have been looking for if I had still got the job I had just lost. If that makes sense!
dorsetladette
Well-Known Member
Oh @Michen I totally get how your feeling. I was as close to my old boy as you were to Boggle. He got me through some really tough times and was the one stable thing in my life - like you say he was 'home'. He had a larger than life personality and commanded attention where ever he went. I lost him suddenly due to a broken shoulder from a kick in the field so the decision was taken out of my hands.
I'm a person who will periodically throw all the cards up in the air and see where they land, and (I may be wrong) I think your similar too. But maybe wait until your back from your Africa trip to think about the 'big stuff'.
This grief is yours and you can own it however you see fit. Just go careful in these early days.
I'm a person who will periodically throw all the cards up in the air and see where they land, and (I may be wrong) I think your similar too. But maybe wait until your back from your Africa trip to think about the 'big stuff'.
This grief is yours and you can own it however you see fit. Just go careful in these early days.
Michen
Well-Known Member
Yeah, I mean my status in this country is tied to my job. And I can't imagine being in the UK again...
But if I left here to go do something backpackery/temporary/earn no decent money but do something wholesome I will not have a USA life to go back to, like I could have if I was a citizen. I am right at the early stages of my green card and I think to walk away from all that just to go muck around on a beach for a bit would probably be unbelievably stupid.
Hopefully a couple of weeks in Africa, then a couple of weeks somewhere else over christmas/new year will satisfy that itch I dunno.
But if I left here to go do something backpackery/temporary/earn no decent money but do something wholesome I will not have a USA life to go back to, like I could have if I was a citizen. I am right at the early stages of my green card and I think to walk away from all that just to go muck around on a beach for a bit would probably be unbelievably stupid.
Hopefully a couple of weeks in Africa, then a couple of weeks somewhere else over christmas/new year will satisfy that itch I dunno.
palo1
Well-Known Member
You can do both! I mean you can keep your well paying job in the US (and the green card) but use some of your breaks to do some of the more outdoorsy, meaningful stuff in interesting places. Those opportunities exist I think. There are certainly a couple of projects I know of that need a degree of self funding but are incredibly interesting. I dunno but you seem to have enjoyed lots of things about the US and it's an amazing opportunity to explore and make all kinds of choices I reckon. At least for a bit though the world has lots of other opportunities too. You have worked so hard for this though...! xx
Equi
Well-Known Member
A lot of your emotion is probably tied to Colorado. You have mentioned you can move states yes? Maybe after the new year when you’re back in CO and to “normal” life you can visit that idea.