I'm so very sorry for your loss. I had to have my horse of a lifetime PTS at 13 with cushings and although I have another horse now, and it was 10 years ago, I can still sob my heart out if i think about him too much.
This post made my heart sing for youSorry for the silence and not replying to the last posts, I was reading and grateful
It's been nearly two weeks since losing Bog and sometimes the heartbreak literally takes my breath away. Or I just remember that he's no longer here and it's a pit in my stomach. I cry a little, although haven't yet today- progress. But all in all I am actually okay and way, way better than I expected to be. Functioning, looking forward, and accepting. I guess I really have had some time to come to terms with this, and the heartbreak began 18 months ago.
My Arizona trip became kind of epic! Pepper and I road tripped to Sedona, where I randomly spent 4 hours hiking with a lady who taught me all about the energy vortex's and had a lot of knowledge to share on overcoming challenges, letting things go, etc. Whilst totally not my thing it was very healing and I guess the conclusion I came to is that I can feel bitter, sad, heartbroken about Bog all the time or I can just... continue. The difference between "I lost Bog" vs "I had Bog" really. I came away from Sedona feeling far, far better than I arrived. Then we stopped at Monument Valley, then Moab and finally back to Colorado. I should have known that America, with it's unbelievable beauty and the warmth of the people you meet along the way, would make me feel better with every mile. It really did, and coming back to Colorado was not terrible like I thought. It's hard to stay sad in a country with landscape that you are continuously in awe of and people that are always smiling at you. I did not go and see Atlas though, for a few reasons though I am pining for him a little bit actually, I will be excited to see him in a couple of weeks.
Anyway, I am going to move us to Arizona for a bit! And not because Colorado is somewhere I need to run from, it's actually been a hard decision in some ways. It's something I wanted to do with Bog before he got sick, and now I have the means to do it and I just think why not. Go spend some time in the desert, Beau will be there so I can do plenty of riding. I found a superb barn for Atlas where he has herd turnout on a huge pasture, it has all the facilities for groundwork and even a little XC course I could do some lunging over. So I can really do some bits with him and have him ready to back in spring. I've got visitors from the UK for half my time there so they will enjoy a change of scene with Az instead of Co, too. It feels like the right thing to do, and I'm lucky that I CAN do it, so I want to make the most of it. Excited to share some insights about keeping horses in the actual desert with you guys.
So today I fly to NY, then J'burg, then Zimbabwe, and when I get back I will haul Atlas to Arizona that weekend before the snow sets in. Helo will go back to his owner for a bit, I'll then go travel around Costa Rica for christmas/new year (I trust the barn to fully look after him), and when I get back in Jan I'll drive my other car and Pepper out. Lots to look forward to and keeping busy, and I know Bog would approve. I'll post some Africa photos in the next few weeks, it's a volunteer program on horseback so should be pretty cool and I'm looking forward to getting in the saddle. Here's some photos of our trip through NM, AZ, UT, back to CO.
Happy thankgsiving everyone and thank you again for all your comments on this thread. One stuck in my head particularly- Ride on with Atlas with Bog in your heart and I intend to do just that.
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It made me teary too! I lost my Connie this time as year. He was an oldie so guess it was easier to accept in a way. He was my heart horse and I miss him dearly. I also had another and I am very much enjoying him and find he has enjoyed having me more to himself
I look forward to hearing about it. 
Sorry for the silence and not replying to the last posts, I was reading and grateful
It's been nearly two weeks since losing Bog and sometimes the heartbreak literally takes my breath away. Or I just remember that he's no longer here and it's a pit in my stomach. I cry a little, although haven't yet today- progress. But all in all I am actually okay and way, way better than I expected to be. Functioning, looking forward, and accepting. I guess I really have had some time to come to terms with this, and the heartbreak began 18 months ago.
My Arizona trip became kind of epic! Pepper and I road tripped to Sedona, where I randomly spent 4 hours hiking with a lady who taught me all about the energy vortex's and had a lot of knowledge to share on overcoming challenges, letting things go, etc. Whilst totally not my thing it was very healing and I guess the conclusion I came to is that I can feel bitter, sad, heartbroken about Bog all the time or I can just... continue. The difference between "I lost Bog" vs "I had Bog" really. I came away from Sedona feeling far, far better than I arrived. Then we stopped at Monument Valley, then Moab and finally back to Colorado. I should have known that America, with it's unbelievable beauty and the warmth of the people you meet along the way, would make me feel better with every mile. It really did, and coming back to Colorado was not terrible like I thought. It's hard to stay sad in a country with landscape that you are continuously in awe of and people that are always smiling at you. I did not go and see Atlas though, for a few reasons though I am pining for him a little bit actually, I will be excited to see him in a couple of weeks.
Anyway, I am going to move us to Arizona for a bit! And not because Colorado is somewhere I need to run from, it's actually been a hard decision in some ways. It's something I wanted to do with Bog before he got sick, and now I have the means to do it and I just think why not. Go spend some time in the desert, Beau will be there so I can do plenty of riding. I found a superb barn for Atlas where he has herd turnout on a huge pasture, it has all the facilities for groundwork and even a little XC course I could do some lunging over. So I can really do some bits with him and have him ready to back in spring. I've got visitors from the UK for half my time there so they will enjoy a change of scene with Az instead of Co, too. It feels like the right thing to do, and I'm lucky that I CAN do it, so I want to make the most of it. Excited to share some insights about keeping horses in the actual desert with you guys.
So today I fly to NY, then J'burg, then Zimbabwe, and when I get back I will haul Atlas to Arizona that weekend before the snow sets in. Helo will go back to his owner for a bit, I'll then go travel around Costa Rica for christmas/new year (I trust the barn to fully look after him), and when I get back in Jan I'll drive my other car and Pepper out. Lots to look forward to and keeping busy, and I know Bog would approve. I'll post some Africa photos in the next few weeks, it's a volunteer program on horseback so should be pretty cool and I'm looking forward to getting in the saddle. Here's some photos of our trip through NM, AZ, UT, back to CO.
Happy thankgsiving everyone and thank you again for all your comments on this thread. One stuck in my head particularly- Ride on with Atlas with Bog in your heart and I intend to do just that.
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This is a really heart-warming post (or maybe it's so cold here that the sunny desert photos have warmed me up). I'm lucky enough to never been through the type of grief you're feeling with Bog, I dread the day it happens and it's strangely reassuring to read your journey. Apologies if that sounds selfish. You've been so generous with your posts from day one of your journey and although I haven't replied to many I've read them all and, like most people on here, feel emotionally invested in you and all your animals!Sorry for the silence and not replying to the last posts, I was reading and grateful
It's been nearly two weeks since losing Bog and sometimes the heartbreak literally takes my breath away. Or I just remember that he's no longer here and it's a pit in my stomach. I cry a little, although haven't yet today- progress. But all in all I am actually okay and way, way better than I expected to be. Functioning, looking forward, and accepting. I guess I really have had some time to come to terms with this, and the heartbreak began 18 months ago.
My Arizona trip became kind of epic! Pepper and I road tripped to Sedona, where I randomly spent 4 hours hiking with a lady who taught me all about the energy vortex's and had a lot of knowledge to share on overcoming challenges, letting things go, etc. Whilst totally not my thing it was very healing and I guess the conclusion I came to is that I can feel bitter, sad, heartbroken about Bog all the time or I can just... continue. The difference between "I lost Bog" vs "I had Bog" really. I came away from Sedona feeling far, far better than I arrived. Then we stopped at Monument Valley, then Moab and finally back to Colorado. I should have known that America, with it's unbelievable beauty and the warmth of the people you meet along the way, would make me feel better with every mile. It really did, and coming back to Colorado was not terrible like I thought. It's hard to stay sad in a country with landscape that you are continuously in awe of and people that are always smiling at you. I did not go and see Atlas though, for a few reasons though I am pining for him a little bit actually, I will be excited to see him in a couple of weeks.
Anyway, I am going to move us to Arizona for a bit! And not because Colorado is somewhere I need to run from, it's actually been a hard decision in some ways. It's something I wanted to do with Bog before he got sick, and now I have the means to do it and I just think why not. Go spend some time in the desert, Beau will be there so I can do plenty of riding. I found a superb barn for Atlas where he has herd turnout on a huge pasture, it has all the facilities for groundwork and even a little XC course I could do some lunging over. So I can really do some bits with him and have him ready to back in spring. I've got visitors from the UK for half my time there so they will enjoy a change of scene with Az instead of Co, too. It feels like the right thing to do, and I'm lucky that I CAN do it, so I want to make the most of it. Excited to share some insights about keeping horses in the actual desert with you guys.
So today I fly to NY, then J'burg, then Zimbabwe, and when I get back I will haul Atlas to Arizona that weekend before the snow sets in. Helo will go back to his owner for a bit, I'll then go travel around Costa Rica for christmas/new year (I trust the barn to fully look after him), and when I get back in Jan I'll drive my other car and Pepper out. Lots to look forward to and keeping busy, and I know Bog would approve. I'll post some Africa photos in the next few weeks, it's a volunteer program on horseback so should be pretty cool and I'm looking forward to getting in the saddle. Here's some photos of our trip through NM, AZ, UT, back to CO.
Happy thankgsiving everyone and thank you again for all your comments on this thread. One stuck in my head particularly- Ride on with Atlas with Bog in your heart and I intend to do just that.
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That sounds so positive in terms of a working life and worth the busier times for freedom and good renumeration
Good on you for making that happen too.
