Caol Ila
Well-Known Member
So are we. Hope it’s a better one.
Boggle- USA bound!
- Thread starter Michen
- Start date
Cavalier
Well-Known Member
Keeping everything crossed for some good news. So sorry that you are going through this, I can’t add advice but I can send healing vibes
Ceriann
Well-Known Member
Just caught up on this - so sorry to hear what you are going through. No experience to share but can cross absolutely everything and more for him and you, for some improvement and answers.
Michen
Well-Known Member
He’s stopped eating (but did eat a little mash with the apple sauce smothered on top that I bought down for him last night) and not passing manure so they rectaled him this morning, no sign of an impaction but they are tubing him to try and stay ahead of the game.
He’s on a shit ton of anti toxins to try and prevent laminitis but I’ve asked them to radiograph and/or put him in soft rides even now if there’s any chance that could help prevent something.
His fever is down this morning but that’s not really relevant as it’s always up and down as just a snapshot in time, they don’t think it’s evidence of improvement at this point.
They are trying to balance the danger of the continued use of banamine with the iv fluids to help his kidneys
His white cell count on bloods this morning HAS improved, so they are pleased about that.
They said it’s not a good idea to change antibiotics at this point until we have the cultures back (hopefully Monday). And they don’t intend to scan his lungs again today unless he goes downhill but they will tomorrow.
He’s on a shit ton of anti toxins to try and prevent laminitis but I’ve asked them to radiograph and/or put him in soft rides even now if there’s any chance that could help prevent something.
His fever is down this morning but that’s not really relevant as it’s always up and down as just a snapshot in time, they don’t think it’s evidence of improvement at this point.
They are trying to balance the danger of the continued use of banamine with the iv fluids to help his kidneys
His white cell count on bloods this morning HAS improved, so they are pleased about that.
They said it’s not a good idea to change antibiotics at this point until we have the cultures back (hopefully Monday). And they don’t intend to scan his lungs again today unless he goes downhill but they will tomorrow.
splashgirl45
Lurcher lover
What a rollercoaster, fingers and toes crossed for him and lots of good vibes xx
onemoretime
Well-Known Member
Please keep us posted. I know exactly what you are going through as I told you about the horse we lost with E coli on FB. Please try to get some rest for yourself, I know its difficult.
misst
Well-Known Member
Oh Michen I have only just seen this. I have been a bit tied up and offline a lot. I cannot believe what you are going through so far from home. Nothing useful to add I'm afraid. Sending so many get better vibes for Bog and a hug for you xx
anguscat
Well-Known Member
Sleep helps coping. Well done
Red-1
I used to be decisive, now I'm not so sure...
I am so sorry that the news is not better. Fingers crossed he stays stable until Monday's cultures give you the key to targeted treatment.
webble
Well-Known Member
Glad you managed some sleep, have been thinking of you. Best thoughts going to both of you
Michen
Well-Known Member
Even from the UK, good friends get what you need delivered to your door 
The culture difference makes me smile, my American friends have been dropping me food whilst English friends are ensuring I have alcohol.
No more news on Bog so I assume he’s not colicing after their slight concern this morning. It’s so weird to sit here and wish the hours away just living for the next update.
The culture difference makes me smile, my American friends have been dropping me food whilst English friends are ensuring I have alcohol.
No more news on Bog so I assume he’s not colicing after their slight concern this morning. It’s so weird to sit here and wish the hours away just living for the next update.
palo1
Well-Known Member
Even from the UK, good friends get what you need delivered to your door
The culture difference makes me smile, my American friends have been dropping me food whilst English friends are ensuring I have alcohol.
No more news on Bog so I assume he’s not colicing after their slight concern this morning. It’s so weird to sit here and wish the hours away just living for the next update.
View attachment 115997
I do think the Bloody Mary is warranted actually, on medicinal grounds lol. Thank goodness for so many good friends and hoping you have a better night. The improvement in Boggle's bloods is heartening at least!
Michen
Well-Known Member
I know this probably sounds horrendous and like I have no love for my horse but I have literally had to fight the urge to get on a plane, leave this country and just let it play out without me. Every time I visit it sends me into a spiral and I’m just sat here able to do nothing, not sit with him, not help him, just sit 20 minutes away waiting by the sodding phone. My presence here is completely pointless and I feel this weird anger/hatred of my environment as if it’s somehow to blame for this.
I can’t and I wouldn’t because if he ends up having to be put to sleep and I wasn’t here it would haunt me. But that is literally the only thing that I can do for him, be here if he’s put to sleep.
I can’t and I wouldn’t because if he ends up having to be put to sleep and I wasn’t here it would haunt me. But that is literally the only thing that I can do for him, be here if he’s put to sleep.
Widgeon
Well-Known Member
No, I think that's quite normal, to get to the point of being so stressed that you just want to bail. I've felt like that before. I know it's impossible not to imagine the worst case scenario but as others have said, there's a very good chance that he will get through this. Hang on in there, you're doing great. x
Meredith
riding reluctantly into the sunset
Michen I felt exactly the same when my home bred horse had EGS. I had to be there but at the same time I wanted to be anywhere but there.
You feel helpless I know but I’m sure Boggle needs to see you however short a time it seems you are allowed to be together.
You have my understanding and support. xx
ycbm
Einstein would be proud of my Insanity...
Nothing you write is horrendous, your love for him shines in every word. If i was religious I would be praying for you both.
.
Peglo
Well-Known Member
I can totally understand your feelings atm. There will be a lot of humans who wish they were loved as much as you love Bog so we know it’s not that you don’t love him. But wanting to escape the situation is a coping mechanism and a sensible one in different circumstances. Your friends near and far are so lovely. What a great network.
nagblagger
Well-Known Member
Remember we are all here rooting for you.. you have been so much stronger than some of us would have been...sending hug
Michen
Well-Known Member
I’d burn my passport if it wasn’t for the fact that it would be a total nightmare to replace with the USA visa that’s in it 
I wish this had happened next week after Tuesday evening, where I’d have been on a boat 24 hours from land and the only way you can get back to shore in an emergency is a private plane. I’d have just had to deal with it in the same way but I’d at least be with the only person in the world who I’d happily sob into the chest of all night. I’d have come back to either a recovered horse or a dead horse I guess.
Selfish, screwed up, I know.
I wish this had happened next week after Tuesday evening, where I’d have been on a boat 24 hours from land and the only way you can get back to shore in an emergency is a private plane. I’d have just had to deal with it in the same way but I’d at least be with the only person in the world who I’d happily sob into the chest of all night. I’d have come back to either a recovered horse or a dead horse I guess.
Selfish, screwed up, I know.
Ceriann
Well-Known Member
Not horrendous at all - feeling helpless is awful and wanting to step away from it is understandable. You are not helpless though - he is getting every care because of you. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are going through all this emotion because you love him and that isn’t to be underestimated.
equinerebel
Well-Known Member
Nope, not selfish or horrendous. I said the exact same thing the day my cat was discharged from hospital, only for me to have to call them and take him straight back in as an emergency. On the same day. If I could have given over all the decision making and those darn phone calls over to someone else, I would have.
Ratface
Well-Known Member
I am religious and I'm sending up prayers for you and Bog.
Every little helps, in my view.
hock
Well-Known Member
What you’re feeling is flight, most likely because you can’t physically do the fighting. Which puts you in no man’s land filling time waiting. Totally understandable, I honestly don’t think you can expect to feel better until there’s an outcome. It’s a bloody roller coaster and you’re not at the controls. Absolutely horrendous, don’t underestimate the effect this may have on your mental health you really need to not deal with anything other than this atm. It’s fine if you can’t eat, but you must drink plenty of water. Best wishes.
palo1
Well-Known Member
Aw @Michen, my heart goes out to you but what you are saying sounds normal to me and sadly familiar. It's ok to want to bail from the waiting, the responsibility and the helplessness. It's ok to want to be somewhere else, to remove yourself from the thing that is hurting so much. But you are pretty much stuck in this horrible limbo and that really sucks. I hope somehow in the next couple of days it does get easier to bear.
I hope somehow in the next couple of days it does get easier to bear.
Caol Ila
Well-Known Member
I was going to say the exact same thing. The kind of stress you're feeling, as far as your brain is concerned, isn't much different to the stress of facing a sabre tooth tiger. Fight, flight, or freeze are the totally natural responses. For us, just like horses and other animals. You can't fight, because there is nothing you can do. Freeze sucks. So that leaves flight. It's very normal, although it's rubbish. I've definitely been in situations since moving here where all I wanted to do was jump on the next plane back to CO.
I hope you get some good news soon.
Upthecreek
Well-Known Member
Michen what you’re feeling is completely normal. Exactly a year ago I sat with my best friend in a hospice waiting for her to die. At the time I wanted to run away and be anywhere but there. I really have no idea if I was any comfort to her or if she even knew I was there at the end. But I know I was there and did what I could and that has given a tiny bit of comfort.
Ambers Echo
Still wittering on
Only just seen this thread and caught up with the hell you’ve been going through. Wanting to be a million miles away makes perfect sense. Totally normal survival instinct to want to escape reality when reality is this scary. Sending love and hugs. And healing vibes to Bog. Hope you get better news soon 
Michen
Well-Known Member
Thank you everyone, I read and re read all your comments. he’s been moved to another stall with better airflow although it’s harder to see him.
He isn’t drinking or passing manure so they are continuing to tube him on top of the IV yo try and prevent an impaction. He’s still spiking the fever but his bloods are continuing to improve, next draw is at 3am so 6 hours. He’s definitely brighter.
They’ve been taking him out for a tiny walk to try and stimulate and get him drinking and they did it whilst o was there. That was kind of heartbreaking because as soon as he did a few steps he was coughing like mad. They just did a few circles.
But they let me give him a pat and scratch with some gloves on they are still very cautious and isolating and doing a second viral panel Monday, just incase.
He promptly towed the poor young vet tech across the hardcore, I did warn her she may want to put a rope over his nose
They are still pretty baffled as to why he’s so peppy. But I’ll take that!
He came straight to the front of his prison cell when he saw me.
He isn’t drinking or passing manure so they are continuing to tube him on top of the IV yo try and prevent an impaction. He’s still spiking the fever but his bloods are continuing to improve, next draw is at 3am so 6 hours. He’s definitely brighter.
They’ve been taking him out for a tiny walk to try and stimulate and get him drinking and they did it whilst o was there. That was kind of heartbreaking because as soon as he did a few steps he was coughing like mad. They just did a few circles.
But they let me give him a pat and scratch with some gloves on
they are still very cautious and isolating and doing a second viral panel Monday, just incase. He promptly towed the poor young vet tech across the hardcore, I did warn her she may want to put a rope over his nose
They are still pretty baffled as to why he’s so peppy. But I’ll take that!
He came straight to the front of his prison cell when he saw me.
SEL
Well-Known Member
He looks too bright to be so ill!
I'm glad you were able to actually touch him although I get why they are cautious.
I'm glad you were able to actually touch him although I get why they are cautious.
Michen
Well-Known Member
I know doesn’t he! There’s a horse next to him who looked really sad, nose almost on the floor. Nurse said he was far less sick on paper than Boggle.
Bar the horrible cough, the way he came out of the box and looked tonight you would not know he was sick. I know he’s on tons of drugs but still.
Brave little horse, he wants to live.