Children on yards

[DabDab]

Its threads like this that make me glad the ponies are on our private yard... im not for kids running riot but this kind of negative attitude to children will make the sport more and more elitist. If you can only happily have ponies if mummy and daddy can fund a home with a yard then of course its going to become an elitist sport once more

My parents are (definitely) not horsey and I grew up 'working' at riding schools, generally with livery attached. Somewhat different times but I (nor any other child there) would never have dared make a nuisance of ourselves around the liveries or go anywhere near their horses uninvited. I'm not sure why expecting that level of behaviour from children is snobby or elitist.

And as an adult I have to say that it is rarely the horsey mad kid who doesn't have a pony of their own that causes a nuisance on yards. The only troublesome children I've come across have all had ponies of their own and generally took the whole situation for granted.

 

[Pippity]

And as an adult I have to say that it is rarely the horsey mad kid who doesn't have a pony of their own that causes a nuisance on yards. The only troublesome children I've come across have all had ponies of their own and generally took the whole situation for granted.

This is absolutely the case on my yard. The kids most likely to be running around do so while their parents do all the chores for the kids' pony. The absolute worst is only involved in ponies to be plonked on top of one while her mother shows it.

The best, meanwhile, spends all her time looking after her share pony, works hard to improve her riding and her cheeky saint of a veteran pony, and is generally delightful to have around.

It seems to boil down to whether the kid actually wants to be there. If they do, they're well-behaved and may ask endless questions that are a bit irritating but I'll put up with it. If they don't want to be there, they're horrors.

 

[Mrs C]

Wow, I just read through some of these replies, and there are ways to go about this, without being a jerk.
First of all, you're on a public yard! Which means there WILL be children around, other people board there too, not just you!
Second, if they aren't in danger, why the crap do you care what they're doing?! Unless they're in some way hurting you, your horse, your stuff, or another animal, let it go!
Third, if you really care, go talk to the parents!! Tell them that you don't like that their children are always bouncing around your horse, and that they're going to get hurt if they don't keep them away.
Fourth, I do think that they are too young to be left unsupervised, but what is the parents story? Yes, I know! You "pay a lot of money to do this", and "the barn is your happy place", but it's also their happy place! You need to be able to accomodate!

Basically, I know this is annoying for you, kay, I hate children too. Seriously, I do. But I'm not mean to them either. I can avoid them as best I can, but I can also put them to work, or talk to the parents about it, and tell them that their child is being unsafe, and 9 times out of 10, the parents thank me for telling them that, and they supervise their child further. So seriously, go talk to the parents. THEN talk to the BO, this is NOT the BO's fault, do not drag him/her into this, unless really necessary!
Put the kids to work, make them work really hard, and eventually they will learn that if they want to be around you, they will have to WORK. And really, make them do actual work, not pick up your brushes...that's just a game for them!

I'm sorry if this post sounds rude, or judgmental, I'm just calling it like I see it, and I see a lot of rude, and mean going on here. So have some patience, have some compassion. Try and put yourself in other persons shoes. And be nice!
And if these children continue to bug you, MOVE BARNS!!! Just because YOU are having problems at your current barn, DOES NOT MEAN EVERYONE ELSE NEEDS TO CHANGE FOR YOU! Do you even know who these children are coming with? Maybe it's their grandparents, cause the parents are away on vacation, or in the hospital! And the grandparents are watching them for a couple weeks, and then they'll go home and you will have your peaceful yard back again.
And I'm almost certain that someone here is going to say "why should she have to move barns and not just get the children kicked off?" Or something like that, and truth is. You are a global citizen, which means that we must all work together, and respect eachother. And I can't guarantee that there will be no other children if you move yards, so if you are really fed up with all of this, the only way you're gonna get what you want, is by bringing the horse home to you. Move him to your property, and have him live with you. It's the only real, legit way I can see to fix your 'problem'. I do feel that you would just find something else to complain about though...

As I said earlier, sorry if this sounds rude and judgmental, I'm just calling it as I see it, just the same as many other have. Hope you and your family had a good Easter, and you get to spend some time with your horse on this Easter Monday.

Wow. I think that's all I'll say to that!

 

[Gingerwitch]

I took a 12 and 8 year old for a hack yesterday. Parents still came to watch and video their kids first trot and canters up the hills. And took all the short cuts.
I had an ace time and it brought so many happy memories back. The kids were chattering all the way round and wanted to jump everything.
Would take them again but not every ride and it would be dependent on which horse I took out.
What did I get out if it. A big happy feeling to do a good turn and got my horse used to riding in company.
I set the ground rules in front of mum and dad.
Must say the kids have been very well brought up.

 

[Red-1]

I used to be on a child friendly yard, it was great. In winter, we had 3 BHSAIs and other sensible, knowledgeable people; we would take it in turns to 'take a lesson' on the (rather small) school. The school was essentially a 30m circle (literally a circle) and to get 6 horses working on there in safety, with a single bulb as illumination, it had to be a directed ride. When it was your turn to take the lesson, a kid rode your horse. Often, even if it was someone else's turn, you would invite a kid to ride your horse so you could get chores done.

The lessons were kept deliberately simple for safety (a single bulb casts a LOT of shadows) such as starting in walk/halt, then trotting to the rear (not far at all!) then everyone trot, then the front circles to the rear one at a time, then all change direction, circle to the rear etc. It was great. The horses had a warm up and safety check in walk with 10m of trot, then everyone was trotting and going the same way. The horses learned to be accommodating, to go at the front and back, to have different riders. The kids LOVED it, a little'un on a 17hh TB, smiling all the time. The kids knew it was an honour, never got self entitled. The owners also loved it, you could ride your own horse, of course, but if you were short of time, the horse would be safely exercised under supervision whilst you did your chores. If it was your turn to 'teach' and you were busy, kids wanted to do your bed for you.

Wouldn't happen these days (it was in the 80's) due to insurance issues, but it made for a harmonious set-up. The kids would be beside themselves wanting to help, even the nasty jobs, in case it meant you would let them ride your horse.

That said, I abhor the way kids behave in some yards. It isn't about being supervised, the kids I am talking about were dropped off and picked up later, from about 9 yrs upwards. The yard had no rules about it. But, they were a good bunch, were told what was what in a day that a parent wouldn't come complaining to you afterwards of you told someone off. The parents had a good deal too, free childcare!

It worked.

Not sure it would work these days, even if the same old fogies were assembled. Too many kids cheek their elders, complain if they are corrected and then the parents would come at you.

FWIW - I too would be incensed if some 3yo and 6yp came and messed up my stable and touched my stuff. In fact, touching my stuff was always out, as was touching my horse if I was not present. No one would have fed my horse either. People do seem more entitled these days.

 

[Tiddlypom]

None of us are perfect, either as horse owners or as parents, and while of course child safety issues should be addressed, a bit of running and noise is, to me, just part of being on a child friendly yard.

No running and no unnecessary shouting should be allowed on the stable yard, a livery yard is not a playground ?‍. There may be areas away from the horses for more robust play, but not in amongst the stables.

This is not being child intolerant, it is expecting that they behave in an appropriate way for the enviroment that they are in, and the sooner they learn that lesson, the better.

 

[Flicker]

If someone is happy to hang out with someone else’s kids, that’s great. Although if I was a parent I would want to know at least a bit about the adult before entering into this arrangement.

However, if for whatever reason, a livery is not happy or not comfortable in the presence of someone else‘s child, they should absolutely not be expected to change their behaviour in any way to accommodate engagement with the child in any way. So many comments on here seem to be insinuating that childfree liveries should be content to curtail their own activities to provide some sort of free supplementary childcare to another person’s kids. Under the guise of ‘being kind’. Or go and find another livery yard if this doesn’t suit them. This, to me, feels like the bullying attitude.

The same attitude applies with regard to children’s behaviour on yards. As has been pointed out, livery yards are agricultural environments, populated by big, fast moving animals, agricultural machinery, expensive equipment and many potential risks. Expecting other liveries to be content with the risky behaviour of young children to continue unchecked in this environment is dangerous and unfair.

The childcare buck stops with parents (or the primary care giver). While it is a bonus when someone else takes a shine to your child and helps out a bit, please do not expect this as a right. Respect the rights of your fellow paying liveries to enjoy the space and the hobby that they are entitled to without having to interrupt their activities to provide a childcare service.

 

[scats]

No running and no unnecessary shouting should be allowed on the stable yard, a livery yard is not a playground ?‍. There may be areas away from the horses for more robust play, but not in amongst the stables.

This is not being child intolerant, it is expecting that they behave in an appropriate way for the enviroment that they are in, and the sooner they learn that lesson, the better.

I agree with this. I don’t understand why, as a country, we seem to feel the need to adapt everything to children and make everything child friendly. You go to a family friendly pub and you’re expected to put up with kids running around. Why? When I went out for meals with my family, we were expected to remain at the table and any running and hi jinx was for my 10 minutes on the play area before we left. Why should we expect running around at a yard? I knew perfectly well when I was in a situation that required me to behave appropriately. One glare off my mum was all it took!
I understand that sometimes kids forgot themselves and get carried away, but it seems that the rest of society are expected to shut up and put up where kids are concerned.

If we got rowdy as kids at the farm when I was growing up, we got a right telling off and the YO would come down and shout at us (and he was scary when we were kids!).

Years ago I remember a lady who let her kids just wander freely at the farm. I went into the barn and found the 4 year old standing on top of a load of large stacked bales of hay (he’d climbed a ladder to get up there). One slip and his head would have been cracked on that concrete like a watermelon. It made me feel sick.
We are an adult only yard now.

 

[Grassy]

This ^^ At my yard there is a house which was rented out to a family with 4 children, it had a large garden but they were always roaming round the yard, shouting, cycling, climbing on stuff & being annoying. They had no reason to be there as they didn’t own a horse! One afternoon I was bathing my horse & the 2 girls came flying round the corner with a pedal car right behind her back legs, so I told them off. The mother came stomping round the corner & started shouting at me for telling them off, I tried to explain that it was dangerous, they could have got kicked or my horse could have pulled back & got loose, that it was a stable yard not a playground, she just didn’t get it at all ?‍

 

[cauda equina]

It's the same as the out of control dogs thing
'My dog/child can do xyz if it wants, you can't stop them!'

 

[asmp]

I felt bad at one yard for telling the YO that the (nice) children of another livery would often climb up the round bales of haylage and sit on them. I was concerned that they’d rip the plastic - the YO was horrified in case the bales moved and crushed them ?.

At another yard, my daughter, a child herself then, damaged her back when another younger child stuck its head under the fence of the school just as she was riding her pony past, which spooked and dumped her.

 

[Fred66]

Firstly if you are on a livery yard that doesn’t ban children then you have to accept that they might be around.

If they tend to wander and interfere then surely you can send them back to mum / dad etc ? As long as you are firm and fair no one should mind.

Being annoying is not restricted to children, adult liveries can and do take liberties and it’s frequently harder to get them to stop.

Having children on a livery yard can be so rewarding, you also don’t find them being two faced or offering unsolicited advice.

You could offer occasionally to have them help you for half an hour or so while parent rides but say it is on an ad hoc basis and when you have time as most of the time you are on a tight deadline and you unfortunately aren’t able to have them help as it slows you up and is potentially unsafe if you are not giving them 100% attention. Obviously if you really hate the idea don’t do this, but you could just sit watching parent ride and show the kids how to behave when horses are around which would benefit you in the long run too

 

[mariew]

In relation to the parent that would be happy to leave their baby in the tackroom without supervision or anyone else on the yard - im afraid I would have considered contacting social services.

Well behaved kids are great, and I don't mean little robots that do not squeak. Just kids that are either supervised if small for safety, or listen and are safe if a bit older.

 

[Red-1]

In relation to the parent that would be happy to leave their baby in the tackroom without supervision or anyone else on the yard - im afraid I would have considered contacting social services.

Well behaved kids are great, and I don't mean little robots that do not squeak. Just kids that are either supervised if small for safety, or listen and are safe if a bit older.

With both my current and previous jobs, I would have felt obligated to call SS.

 

[Abi90]

If someone is happy to hang out with someone else’s kids, that’s great. Although if I was a parent I would want to know at least a bit about the adult before entering into this arrangement.

However, if for whatever reason, a livery is not happy or not comfortable in the presence of someone else‘s child, they should absolutely not be expected to change their behaviour in any way to accommodate engagement with the child in any way. So many comments on here seem to be insinuating that childfree liveries should be content to curtail their own activities to provide some sort of free supplementary childcare to another person’s kids. Under the guise of ‘being kind’. Or go and find another livery yard if this doesn’t suit them. This, to me, feels like the bullying attitude.

The same attitude applies with regard to children’s behaviour on yards. As has been pointed out, livery yards are agricultural environments, populated by big, fast moving animals, agricultural machinery, expensive equipment and many potential risks. Expecting other liveries to be content with the risky behaviour of young children to continue unchecked in this environment is dangerous and unfair.

The childcare buck stops with parents (or the primary care giver). While it is a bonus when someone else takes a shine to your child and helps out a bit, please do not expect this as a right. Respect the rights of your fellow paying liveries to enjoy the space and the hobby that they are entitled to without having to interrupt their activities to provide a childcare service.

This is how I feel

 

[wills_91]

My kids have been told from a young age about running, screeching etc at the yard around horses. It's just now allowed. I used to take my eldest boy to the yard when he was a toddler. He was a great toddler and liked to "help". I had my mare in box rest and moved her into an empty loose box to muck out, had the wheelbarrow across the door of her usual box and my toddler was inside the stable. Csnt remember the ins and outs but I was across the yard and my mate got out the box she was in, cantered towards her usual box and jumped over the barrow to get in, I could see my wee fella inside and just screamed at him to get in against the wall. How he didn't come to any harm that day is beyond me it must be 6 years ago now and it still gives me chills thinking about it. My 2nd son is a wild toddler - he does not come to the yard ??

 

[bluehorse]

You could offer occasionally to have them help you for half an hour or so while parent rides but say it is on an ad hoc basis and when you have time as most of the time you are on a tight deadline and you unfortunately aren’t able to have them help as it slows you up and is potentially unsafe if you are not giving them 100% attention. Obviously if you really hate the idea don’t do this, but you could just sit watching parent ride and show the kids how to behave when horses are around which would benefit you in the long run too

Quite frankly I’m speechless at that comment! So OP gets to childmind and teach manners whilst parents ride?

 

[Grassy]

Quite frankly I’m speechless at that comment! So OP gets to childmind and teach manners whilst parents ride?

Completely agree! Why would anyone want to sit & watch someone else ride & look after their kids unless of course it was a pre agreed/paid arrangement such as a lady at my yard had with one of the other liveries.

 

[Sail_away]

I teach a lot of young kids (from 3 upwards) and they all learn easily not to bother a strange horse, always walk on the yard, stick with the adult looking after you, etc. They are usually very well behaved although it takes a bit of effort to keep it that way, kids’ attention spans being what they are. I can’t imagine anyone thinking it was okay to let their kids run wild around a livery yard.

 

[Fred66]

You could offer
occasionally to have them help you for half an hour or so while parent rides but say it is on an ad hoc basis and when you have time as most of the time you are on a tight deadline and you unfortunately aren’t able to have them help as it slows you up and is potentially unsafe if you are not giving them 100% attention. Obviously if you really hate the idea don’t do this, but you could just sit watching parent ride and show the kids how to behave when horses are around which would benefit you in the long run too

Quite frankly I’m speechless at that comment! So OP gets to childmind and teach manners whilst parents ride?

I said could not should.

If the OP idea of behaviour is different to the parents then it’s a less confrontational way of potentially modifying the childrens behaviour.
The main aim was to give OP a route to say she rarely has time for them “assisting” and would prefer them to stay out of her way without actually confronting the parents. It’s a small yard and conflict is likely to lead to an uncomfortable environment.

And being speechless at a relatively innocuous suggestion is rather an extreme reaction.

 

[Tiddlypom]

Once you offer to mind the kids for the odd half hour, they'll be dumped on you willy nilly in future. Just don't go there, unless you are happy to be an unpaid childminder.

 

[SOS]

I don’t think kids have any place running around a yard. If parents must bring them then kids should be at their side at all times, it’s just simply not a safe place for them to be unattended.

When I was a teenager we kept our horses on a busy livery yard. A few had kids but were very good at leaving them in the car or they were very quiet and stayed nicely with their parents. Then a woman joined with two little spawns of Satan that would run screaming around the yard, opening and banging doors, picking up people’s equipment. YO did very little as the mother had also brought 4 horses to the yard.

The worst thing she did with them is whilst she rode they were allowed to run around outside the arena/in and out of paddocks! One day I was riding at the same time as her and the two kids were running around. I was walking on a loose rein and one of the kids decided to duck under the boards of the school and run in right behind my horse. The horse spooked and ran blindly across the arena and lost me in the process and I dislocated my shoulder. The scariest part of all this was the broken fence panel my horse had kicked out at, which was exactly where the kid had ducked under. Had that been the child... the YO quickly saw sense and didn’t fancy a child being seriously injured on a yard and banned them.

 

[scats]

In relation to the parent that would be happy to leave their baby in the tackroom without supervision or anyone else on the yard - im afraid I would have considered contacting social services.

Well behaved kids are great, and I don't mean little robots that do not squeak. Just kids that are either supervised if small for safety, or listen and are safe if a bit older.

When we were young (10-11), a slightly odd young lady got one of the other livery horses on loan. She sort of teamed up with us and rode with us most days, except she had a baby of about 10 months and she used to leave him strapped in his pushchair in the stable. The only saving grace was the stable was visible from the manège, though still a fair distance away...

One day a few of us planned to go hacking and as we were leaving, she asked if she could come so we hung around and waited while she tacked up. We hadn’t seen the baby that day so we assumed she’d left him with his dad...
We go out on a 2 hour hack and return, to find she’d left the baby alone on the corner of the stable, strapped in his pushchair.
I don’t remember exactly what happened next, but she was gone in a couple of weeks.

 

[jnb]

To be honest, if I wanted kids or anything to do with them, I'd have my own. I have no interest whatsoever in them and under no circumstances should I be expected to deal with them & their problems / the ones they cause when dealing with my horse.
My mind is frankly boggled by people dumping them on people like me, what's to stop me driving off home and just leaving them? (Not that I would, I'm not THAT child-hating!)
This is one of very many reasons I'm on a sole-use yard.

 

[Wishfilly]

The kids who are on livery yards already have access to horses, so I don't think me not getting involved with them has anything to do with making the sport more elitist.

I used to work at a riding school which still had child/teenage helpers, and I think that did far more to help kids get into riding. And yes, I was paid, but equally I'd do things I didn't have to in order to help out the really keen ones, like lifts up to the yard if their parents couldn't bring them (I was DBS checked).

If any of my friends with kids of about 5+ wanted them to have a sit on a pony and have a groom, I'd happily have them up to the yard (in normal, non-covid times) but that's very different.

I think the issue with some kids on livery yards is that they have no interest in horses and are there because their parents need to do chores, and they're bored.

That said, all the parents on my yard are very good and would never expect someone else to look after their kids!

 

[Meowy Catkin]

When we were young (10-11), a slightly odd young lady got one of the other livery horses on loan. She sort of teamed up with us and rode with us most days, except she had a baby of about 10 months and she used to leave him strapped in his pushchair in the stable. The only saving grace was the stable was visible from the manège, though still a fair distance away...

One day a few of us planned to go hacking and as we were leaving, she asked if she could come so we hung around and waited while she tacked up. We hadn’t seen the baby that day so we assumed she’d left him with his dad...
We go out on a 2 hour hack and return, to find she’d left the baby alone on the corner of the stable, strapped in his pushchair.
I don’t remember exactly what happened next, but she was gone in a couple of weeks.

That's shocking! Poor baby.

 

[AUB]

When we were young (10-11), a slightly odd young lady got one of the other livery horses on loan. She sort of teamed up with us and rode with us most days, except she had a baby of about 10 months and she used to leave him strapped in his pushchair in the stable. The only saving grace was the stable was visible from the manège, though still a fair distance away...

One day a few of us planned to go hacking and as we were leaving, she asked if she could come so we hung around and waited while she tacked up. We hadn’t seen the baby that day so we assumed she’d left him with his dad...
We go out on a 2 hour hack and return, to find she’d left the baby alone on the corner of the stable, strapped in his pushchair.
I don’t remember exactly what happened next, but she was gone in a couple of weeks.

I have no problem bringing a baby with me and letting it nap in a pram close to or in the corner of the arena while I ride.

But leaving it to hack out?!

 

[Fred66]

To be honest, if I wanted kids or anything to do with them, I'd have my own. I have no interest whatsoever in them and under no circumstances should I be expected to deal with them & their problems / the ones they cause when dealing with my horse.
My mind is frankly boggled by people dumping them on people like me, what's to stop me driving off home and just leaving them? (Not that I would, I'm not THAT child-hating!)
This is one of very many reasons I'm on a sole-use yard.

The thing is we do not live in isolated bubbles (much as this last year might feel like it), we live in a society. Once someone ventures out of their own home then you have to interact with other people and this entails dealing with things that might not be your preference but are necessary to coexist in some level of harmony.
Take for example hacking out, the law requires that drivers slow down and pass wide to horse riders, it doesn’t require for them to stop and turn off their engine to allow skittish horses to pass by. Taking your reasoning why should road users modify their driving to accommodate horse riders? It’s not their problem if the rider can’t control their horse. If it’s not safe in traffic (all traffic) then it shouldn’t be on the road, right ???
If the yard allows children then they have every right to be there and if anyone doesn’t want that then find a yard that is adult only. This is not bullying it’s a practical solution to their problem.
Having said that if in OP case it’s children “helping” that’s bothering you then politely tell the children and parent that you’re sorry but you don’t think it’s safe for the children to be that close to your horse as it can be unpredictable and you don’t want an injured child on your conscience. When you muck out then say sorry you need to stay outside the stable as they are in the way.
I’m certainly not saying OP has to become a childminder (although the occasional neighbourly gesture might be nice) just that they need to set boundaries in respect of her horse / space, and accept that children will be around.

 

[Sossigpoker]

The thing is we do not live in isolated bubbles (much as this last year might feel like it), we live in a society. Once someone ventures out of their own home then you have to interact with other people and this entails dealing with things that might not be your preference but are necessary to coexist in some level of harmony.
Take for example hacking out, the law requires that drivers slow down and pass wide to horse riders, it doesn’t require for them to stop and turn off their engine to allow skittish horses to pass by. Taking your reasoning why should road users modify their driving to accommodate horse riders? It’s not their problem if the rider can’t control their horse. If it’s not safe in traffic (all traffic) then it shouldn’t be on the road, right ???
If the yard allows children then they have every right to be there and if anyone doesn’t want that then find a yard that is adult only. This is not bullying it’s a practical solution to their problem.
Having said that if in OP case it’s children “helping” that’s bothering you then politely tell the children and parent that you’re sorry but you don’t think it’s safe for the children to be that close to your horse as it can be unpredictable and you don’t want an injured child on your conscience. When you muck out then say sorry you need to stay outside the stable as they are in the way.
I’m certainly not saying OP has to become a childminder (although the occasional neighbourly gesture might be nice) just that they need to set boundaries in respect of her horse / space, and accept that children will be around.

A) because it's in the Highway Code
B) because doing so can prevent the driver from dying

If you choose to have kids , you deal with them. My life doesn't depend on being entertaining to them. I purposefully wouldn't go and livery at a yard with lots of small kids around like at a riding school for this very reason.

 

[milliepops]

my last yard WAS adult only, then a favourite client started bringing her tots up and they ran everywhere screeching, and then just as I left a family arrived with a load of kids toys which took over the yard it was like the first 2 meant the floodgates were opened. they only came up after YO left for the day so he never saw the chaos that ensued.

I accept that parents can't leave the children at home, but I do not accept that I should have to have anything to do with them. My horses are livewires and not safe for little children to be running around, I don't want to be responsible for someone else's children, i don't have any of my own because I don't like them When I was a kid it was schooled into me not to shout or run around horses and I don't see why I should have to deal with anyone else's kids doing that. I had play time away from the yard.

anyway. I'm on a competition and training yard now and the worst I have to put up with is someone letting their dog out of the lorry for a pee. Bliss.