Gloi
Too little time, too much to read.
Better still, report her.
Full livery expectations
- Thread starter EJP15
- Start date
southerncomfort
Well-Known Member
OP - you may not like it but you need to go back and read Lady Gascoigne's post. I'm afraid she's right, and it does sound like you are living beyond your means at the moment.
SO1
Well-Known Member
Will she bully your sharer if your sharer is doing your jobs instead of her? If she made life unbearable for your other freelancer then is this going to be unpleasant for your sharer too?
I expect you feel vulnerable as you can't look after your horses without help and the cost in this set up is not working for you.
A lot of people need help with the care of their circumstances be that work, family commitments or health and there are good part livery yards around. It sounds like the situation is having a serious impact on your mental health. Personally I would think your mental health and finances might be better with your horses further away on a part livery yard and seeing them less than continuing with this situation.
EJP15
Well-Known Member
My financial situation has changed recently due to my sons father (ex-husband) suddenly disappearing and not paying his portion towards our son. It was all a private arrangement previously, but I am now currently going the official route, although he is now pleading poverty. This coupled with some unexpected costs such as a broken boiler, vet fees, and a big leak in the bathroom that have left me short recently.
Although again my financial situation wouldn't change the situation of over paying for a low quality service that's being enforced on me via manipulation.
I never thought about her being on benefits, I presumed she was a kept women.
Perhaps I could let her know my accountant is asking questions?
EJP15
Well-Known Member
Well yeah she said my sharer can't be left to do jobs alone as she's only 15 but the YO and sharers mother have given it the go ahead. She then keeps telling me the sharer situation isn't working for me but has suddenly taken the sharer under her wing?
Yes I think it might be better even if they are further away although I worry if I can't visit at least twice a week and I get to do that now with the current location.
The days I go I do everything to a high standard and spend most of the day there. I've been too unwell to go for months at one point a few years ago and they weren't looked after as well as I hoped (this was on full livery but yard has since closed down to be built on)
SO1
Well-Known Member
From what you are saying you are not happy with the service or the cost of the person you are using but you cannot use anyone else as that person makes it so intolerable for any other freelancer that they won't take on the work.
I think you only have two choices continue as you are using this women or find another yard which I appreciate is easier said than done with so many yards shutting or not offering all year turnout.
If it helps I am one and half hours way from my full livery yard by public transport and I go 3 times a week at the moment the weekend and once a week after work sometimes less as my parents are unwell. Pony is well cared for they do soak hay as well. There was horse here whoose owners moved to France and they saw their horse a couple of times a year and there was horse who was retired and they lived in Dubai.
I think you only have two choices continue as you are using this women or find another yard which I appreciate is easier said than done with so many yards shutting or not offering all year turnout.
If it helps I am one and half hours way from my full livery yard by public transport and I go 3 times a week at the moment the weekend and once a week after work sometimes less as my parents are unwell. Pony is well cared for they do soak hay as well. There was horse here whoose owners moved to France and they saw their horse a couple of times a year and there was horse who was retired and they lived in Dubai.
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ester
Not slacking multitasking
Is your sharer suitably insured?
SaddlePsych'D
Well-Known Member
If she is talking about the 15yo not being left alone to do jobs then I would agree with her.
JenJ
Well-Known Member
From what you say, it's really not a comfortable environment for you now.
From what you say, the atmosphere is unbearable now.
You don't sound weak and pathetic, but you sound like you are currently being weak and pathetic. You have had your own yards for ten years, you are single-handedly raising your disabled son whilst struggling with your own health, you are clearly very capable
. You need to muster your strength and sort this situation out.***
Ok, I'm back again with fresher eyes and this more time people have been posting, so I'm not trying to single-handedly save the world!
Not entirely sure what happened with some of last night's posts, but I hope things are ok with people.OP - there is no advice that anyone can give you other than stand up to her or move yard. Those are the only two solutions for you and there are only so many ways we can say it. It might be difficult, but from your previous posts, you have overcome far more difficult challenges.
This forum is a great resource for advice and support, but we can't do the doing part for you.
By the way, you can edit your post for a short time (60 minutes?) after posting, so you don't have to make another post to correct typos (I use this feature a LOT!
)I wish you all the best, and hope to see you post again, especially about how happy you are now that you have resolved your issues.
EJP15
Well-Known Member
Not to handle the horses but to do nets, muck out whilst horses are in the turn out on their days out. Not alone but not being watched. YO is there if needed but not physically watching her. Absolutely no riding unless myself or instructor is there. My rule was originally that her parents had to be there to supervise all tasks but YO and her parents agreed with her being able to do jobs without parents there but as long as YO was on the yard.
Hope that clears it up.
EJP15
Well-Known Member
Oh really? Thank you I don't seem to be able to get the hang of this forum. I'm not tech savvy at all!From what you say, it's really not a comfortable environment for you now.
From what you say, the atmosphere is unbearable now.
You don't sound weak and pathetic, but you sound like you are currently being weak and pathetic. You have had your own yards for ten years, you are single-handedly raising your disabled son whilst struggling with your own health, you are clearly very capable
***
Ok, I'm back again with fresher eyes and this more time people have been posting, so I'm not trying to single-handedly save the world!
OP - there is no advice that anyone can give you other than stand up to her or move yard. Those are the only two solutions for you and there are only so many ways we can say it. It might be difficult, but from your previous posts, you have overcome far more difficult challenges.
This forum is a great resource for advice and support, but we can't do the doing part for you.
By the way, you can edit your post for a short time (60 minutes?) after posting, so you don't have to make another post to correct typos (I use this feature a LOT!
I wish you all the best, and hope to see you post again, especially about how happy you are now that you have resolved your issues.
Yes last night this women started posting really weird/rude/incoherent/confusing replies to me? One was that I expected to pay £100 a month for full livery and it was my purse that was the problem?
EJP15
Well-Known Member
Regarding soaked hay! I've had 3 YOs have issues with this due to waste of water, not agreeing with reasons for it needing to be done.
The yard closest to me doesn't allow soaking of hay at all. So that's a no go yard wise.
I've also had two YO's give mine unsoaked whilst on full livery leading to an emergency vet call due to asthma attack!
SO1
Well-Known Member
For horses with asthma there is the hay steamer on our yard. I have a native which is why mine has soaked hay.
EJP15
Well-Known Member
Yes I know about steaming hay, unfortunately his hay has to be soaked due to Asthma, weight, teeth etc. I don't think they'd have steamed either as electricity was turned off most of the time to save money and also the belief that horses don't require adaptations such as soaked or steamed hay as they never needed that back in the day.
The local yard that doesn't allow soaked hay won't let you use a kettle either so don't think you could ask to plug in a steamer.
I wish I was making some of this stuff up!
The local yard that doesn't allow soaked hay won't let you use a kettle either so don't think you could ask to plug in a steamer.
I wish I was making some of this stuff up!
EJP15
Well-Known Member
My two are also fat natives so need soaked hay anyway and one has dental issues which also calls for soaked hay.
Lots of equestrians seem to think soaked hay is some kind of trend and isn't actually a requirement for many horses.
I've had the same with trying to educate on dangers of fields over run with buttercup, ragwort and sycamore trees!
EJP15
Well-Known Member
The Asthmatic horse has a whole host of health conditions and that in itself makes the task of finding an appropriate yard very difficult. It also makes trusting someone to do full livery even harder. One thing my friend has done is ensured his hay is soaked and does update me if he's cough is getting worse. He's a cheap companion btw! Haha 
I love horses.
I love horses.
PurBee
Well-Known Member
Would you consider retirement livery? I’ve been searching recently in the uk and there is a huge list just in england.
For full care you’d be looking at between £80-£150 on average per week, either out 24/7, and with some yards offering night stable bed if thats required.
If you’re currently paying £2k pcm for 2 horses for the stressful arrangement you’ve got at your current yard, you could potentially near half that cost with a retirement livery.
For natives with asthma being out 24/7 moving around with a herd is likely to be good for them, rather than mostly stabled.
It would allow you to have a break and rest from the horse strains you’re dealing with, save lots of money you’re currently paying out for them, enable you to focus on you and your sons health/needs, knowing they’re being cared for 24/7/365.
Most retirement liveries allow visiting anytime, some offer a semi-retirement package if you want to still ride. There’s a lot of flexibility depending on individual circumstances/management needs.
There’s a retirement livery uk facebook group where you can post desired location and ask. Many yards advertise on that group too.
For full care you’d be looking at between £80-£150 on average per week, either out 24/7, and with some yards offering night stable bed if thats required.
If you’re currently paying £2k pcm for 2 horses for the stressful arrangement you’ve got at your current yard, you could potentially near half that cost with a retirement livery.
For natives with asthma being out 24/7 moving around with a herd is likely to be good for them, rather than mostly stabled.
It would allow you to have a break and rest from the horse strains you’re dealing with, save lots of money you’re currently paying out for them, enable you to focus on you and your sons health/needs, knowing they’re being cared for 24/7/365.
Most retirement liveries allow visiting anytime, some offer a semi-retirement package if you want to still ride. There’s a lot of flexibility depending on individual circumstances/management needs.
There’s a retirement livery uk facebook group where you can post desired location and ask. Many yards advertise on that group too.
PurBee
Well-Known Member
Heres the fb retirement livery yard uk group:
EJP15
Well-Known Member
Thank you. Only thing is they both still need a fair amount of work/exercise. Ones only 8 years old
Gloi
Too little time, too much to read.
But once you got away you could spend time looking for somewhere else.
ycbm
Overwhelmed
They don't "need" work if they are turned out unless you have some very specific medical condition going on.
Welcome to the forum. In the short time since you joined you've made 150 posts, the vast majority of which are about problems with your livery services and other liveries. It's time you found somewhere new.
.
misst
Well-Known Member
OP unless you own the perfect setup outright nothing will be everything you need.
Make a decision on the least worst option for your horses. Move. Spend summer looking for what you really think you want. At the moment with the best will in the world you are finding all the negatives and no positives in every situation.
Make a decision on the least worst option for your horses. Move. Spend summer looking for what you really think you want. At the moment with the best will in the world you are finding all the negatives and no positives in every situation.
EJP15
Well-Known Member
Thanks again for everyone who's taken the time to reply with helpful advice. Kindness is really something I appreciate more than I can say. It's a shame so many equestrians seem to be unkind but maybe that's humans.
I certainly prefer animals and always have done.
I Had a great time in the sun today with my boys. Hoping I'm not too poorly this week so I can go down most day's and do my jobs. We are turning out this following weekend so that will improve everyone's moods. Both had 40 mins each in hand grazing on the country lanes. Then 2 hours in the school to stretch legs. They are in their turnout barn today so get to spend the whole day together. Sharer is up soon to do some in hand exercises, groom etc
Hope you are all enjoying the start of spring
I certainly prefer animals and always have done.
I Had a great time in the sun today with my boys. Hoping I'm not too poorly this week so I can go down most day's and do my jobs. We are turning out this following weekend so that will improve everyone's moods. Both had 40 mins each in hand grazing on the country lanes. Then 2 hours in the school to stretch legs. They are in their turnout barn today so get to spend the whole day together. Sharer is up soon to do some in hand exercises, groom etc
Hope you are all enjoying the start of spring
PurBee
Well-Known Member
With many 24/7 turnout retirement livery set-ups of herd-life and lots of acreage, there is plenty of self-exercise they’ll be doing, which is certainly better physically and mentally for any horse than full-time stabled with minimal turn-out. Then they need exercise of riding or turnout because they can’t self-exercise when in a stable.
That’s why i suggested retirement livery as it gives you the option to not have to fuss with sharers/riding/daily care. They can be horses enjoying natural group movement 24/7, enabling you to focus on other aspects of life that need it, which you expressed were strained. Also save a good chunk of money too compared to what you’re currently paying.
Here’s a infographic done on a study of horses and the times spent behaviourally, depending on whether they have turnout and other horse contact. Of course ‘eating’ when turned-out in a group means moving around the paddock grazing self-exercising.
EJP15
Well-Known Member
Thanks for this, I'm aware. Unfortunately one of mine does not do well in a herd and will fight with most other horses other than my other boy. I've always had access to 24/7 grazing until just under 2 years ago so the aim is go find somewhere with that and stables too. Due to sweet itch and certain allergies stables are useful at certain times.
They are out of their stables 15 hours today. They also have a lot of enrichment in their stables and are out on Grass this weekend until the end of November. I stable them too, or use the turnout barns even when we are allowed to turn out on grass 24/7 as weight control, certain health conditions and personal preference plays a part too.
criso
Coming over here & taking your jobs since 1900
The problem is that if she did this and you backed down, then that approach has worked.
If you stuck to your guns, she may after the initial unreasonable response, give up the harassment especially if the ym is offering to intervene.
Re seeing if there is something else around, try a wanted ad on Facebook, you can post anonymously. There may be private arrangements needing a couple of horses but not wanting to advertise
EJP15
Well-Known Member
We tried a track once and we were expelled due to my biys
Yes you are right. I'm hoping I can slowly take some of her control away over Summer. There's a few private places that have offered me livery but they have minimal turn-out.
Atm this yard has grass from end of March to End of November then in but we have the use of a turn-out barn every 3 to 4 days depending on the rota (it's a huge area and my two go in together for 15 hours on their days). We are also allowed to turn out in the school and there are miles of country lanes for in hand grazing.
There is also a huge field on a slope allocated just to us and it has lots of natural shelter and wild herbs/edible trees etc. The grass isn't too rich so they didn't pile on the weight infact lost some over summer.
This area has yards without even 24/7 summer turnout. I'm okay with limited grass but then the needs to still be another form of turnout area if that makes sense.
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EJP15
Well-Known Member
We did try a track once and my boy was expelled for his grumpy behaviour towards other horses. He also can't tolerate mud as his feet and legs get bad! He also has pollen allergies and that means depending on what's growing on or around the yard has a huge effect on his health. He gets swollen eyes, breathing problems. He has Asthma anyway and certain pollens, dust exacerbate it.
He's not on any inhalers as I've done my best to keep his diet and surroundings right but we do end up on steroids if things aren't done right. We are 1 year steroid free and that's how long I've been on the current yard. That's another reason I am hesitant to move. He's also not needed antihistamines in this past year either.
These factors make finding somewhere else much harder.
The other one is more or less illness free and easy going. Only thing is he is a very good doer. The other one is meant to be an easy/cheap companion.
Both are good doers and need the work to keep weight down.
He's not on any inhalers as I've done my best to keep his diet and surroundings right but we do end up on steroids if things aren't done right. We are 1 year steroid free and that's how long I've been on the current yard. That's another reason I am hesitant to move. He's also not needed antihistamines in this past year either.
These factors make finding somewhere else much harder.
The other one is more or less illness free and easy going. Only thing is he is a very good doer. The other one is meant to be an easy/cheap companion.
Both are good doers and need the work to keep weight down.
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PurBee
Well-Known Member
*******.co.uk would be useful to keep an eye on then, as there’s often small set-ups for sole rental.
But the retirement group is worth putting on a request post for separate grazing for 2 boys full grass-based livery. Some grass-based liveries on there that also do retirement have advertised a more bespoke package to suit individual needs. One private individual recently advertised a spare large field with shelter on there as they have too much grassland.
Asking on as many groups as you can will yield that needle in a haystack quicker. Wishing you luck, it can’t be easy to deal with your yard atmosphere.
ETA - my suggestion of livery list website didnt post…google will bring it up.
EJP15
Well-Known Member
And a horse with multiple health problems to add to the equation! Thanks for your advice