Heavy riders, who should speak out and when*spin off*

[FfionWinnie]

I've mentioned already I've lost 4 st. I actually feel I cannot control myself and I do simply eat too much and for the wrong reasons. Just because I have lost it doesn't mean I have magically stopped wanting to over eat. I have kept it off for a year but I have no idea if I will maintain it forever.

 

[rodeo12]

Seriously, I am a little bit shocked. However, I've learnt to just laugh at a lot of these comments and actually feel sorry for people with such simple naive views as I'm sure everybody who thinks fat people are fat because they just choose to eat and eat are just perfect riders!

Would love to come see a lot of you ride or jump, wait for those jabbing hands to appear over a jump, wait for you to get unbalanced because essentially, fat people just bounce around on the saddle without any control of their bodies? So skinny people, my goodness, you must be top riders and be in perfect harmony - after all you don't have ANY fat on you!

Oh, that's right - you're not perfect! Yes, we ask horses to carry us, yes we have to be careful on what horses we ride, yes whether we ride in a light seat or a heavy seat we still weigh the same amount. BUT we can help the horse out and we can help ourselves out when riding. Just like you skinny people who are so judgemental use your stomach muscles, we do too. Oh, you didn't even realise we had muscles under all this fat?

Stop being so ridiculous. As long as the horses are happy then that's all that counts - they let us know if we're too heavy. They wouldn't do their job properly otherwise. I ride my horse and jump and compete him xc/sj/dressage he copes perfectly and has done for YEARS! A friend got on, same weight as me, but in the 6ft3 region and my horse could barely walk. For him it was the height that was the problem, not the weight. If I was too heavy for him he wouldn't be out jumping 3ft courses with ease. Never, EVER, have I had a problem with this lameness or bad backs that automatically occur when fat people sit on a horse and I can honestly say that this is after a decade . . . not just a year. So no, it doesn't lead to damage of a horse in the long term otherwise it would have shown up by now.

So remember, if you want to judge a fat person, judge yourself first and make sure you're perfect in every way!

 

[Big Ben]

Hooray! I so agree. The key is just that: what works for you. We're all different, and as long as you're getting your essential nutrients, just pick the plan that suits you, and go for it!

Maybe you could use this forum to help encourage you? Set yourself reasonable goals and come back and boast your success at reaching each milestone here. The resounding HHO cheer might help spur you on (to use a suitably horsey term ) towards the next one. You don't have to announce your weight, it could just be percentage of your bodyweight or other measure of distance to your goal.

Oh I will be, you will be seeing a Big Bens Ten by Ten thread, because I want to lose 10 pounds, that's easy right? then all I have to do is lose 10 lots of 10, but I will need help and encouragement.

Start date is set for 29th October, for phase 2, which is start of meal replacements, and that will mean a whole month of staying away from the scales, a weigh in for the first day, and then it is all about being 100% on plan and following the rules and letting the diet work.

 

[FionaM12]

Oh I will be, you will be seeing a Big Bens Ten by Ten thread, because I want to lose 10 pounds, that's easy right? then all I have to do is lose 10 lots of 10, but I will need help and encouragement.

Start date is set for 29th October, for phase 2, which is start of meal replacements, and that will mean a whole month of staying away from the scales, a weigh in for the first day, and then it is all about being 100% on plan and following the rules and letting the diet work.

Sounds a great plan, good for you.

I'll look out for your thread and be ready with my Go Big Ben flag to wave you on.

It'll be great to see the "after" photos when you're ready to share them.

Off to bed now. 'Night. xx

 

[ImmyS]

Seriously, I am a little bit shocked. However, I've learnt to just laugh at a lot of these comments and actually feel sorry for people with such simple naive views as I'm sure everybody who thinks fat people are fat because they just choose to eat and eat are just perfect riders!

Would love to come see a lot of you ride or jump, wait for those jabbing hands to appear over a jump, wait for you to get unbalanced because essentially, fat people just bounce around on the saddle without any control of their bodies? So skinny people, my goodness, you must be top riders and be in perfect harmony - after all you don't have ANY fat on you!

Oh, that's right - you're not perfect! Yes, we ask horses to carry us, yes we have to be careful on what horses we ride, yes whether we ride in a light seat or a heavy seat we still weigh the same amount. BUT we can help the horse out and we can help ourselves out when riding. Just like you skinny people who are so judgemental use your stomach muscles, we do too. Oh, you didn't even realise we had muscles under all this fat?

Stop being so ridiculous. As long as the horses are happy then that's all that counts - they let us know if we're too heavy. They wouldn't do their job properly otherwise. I ride my horse and jump and compete him xc/sj/dressage he copes perfectly and has done for YEARS! A friend got on, same weight as me, but in the 6ft3 region and my horse could barely walk. For him it was the height that was the problem, not the weight. If I was too heavy for him he wouldn't be out jumping 3ft courses with ease. Never, EVER, have I had a problem with this lameness or bad backs that automatically occur when fat people sit on a horse and I can honestly say that this is after a decade . . . not just a year. So no, it doesn't lead to damage of a horse in the long term otherwise it would have shown up by now.

So remember, if you want to judge a fat person, judge yourself first and make sure you're perfect in every way!

But I'm not just talking about the fact of riding, and that because people are thin they can ride better, but in my opinion why would you be ok with being fat when it has/can have detrimental effects on your health?

 

[Mongoose11]

Apols for my ranting. Far more eloquent people here than me. Bad day.

 

[FionaM12]

Would love to come see a lot of you ride or jump, wait for those jabbing hands to appear over a jump, wait for you to get unbalanced because essentially, fat people just bounce around on the saddle without any control of their bodies? So skinny people, my goodness, you must be top riders and be in perfect harmony - after all you don't have ANY fat on you!


Stop being so ridiculous. As long as the horses are happy then that's all that counts - they let us know if we're too heavy.

I'm not sure anyone's saying overweight people can't be good riders, are they? Just that they need to find a horse capable of carrying them comfortably, or lose weight to ride the one they've got if it's not capable of doing so.

Do horses always "let us know"? Not everyone listens to their horse if they do. Look at the man on the grey in the OP. To me that little horse is crying out , but apparently the rider doesn't think so.

 

[BeesKnees]

But I'm not just talking about the fact of riding, and that because people are thin they can ride better, but in my opinion why would you be ok with being fat when it has/can have detrimental effects on your health?

ImmyS many people aren't happy with being fat. They're fed up with being told its easy to lose weight when they find it an almighty struggle. They're fed up with feeling s**t about themselves for not being able to do it. And they're defensive because they feel so raw about it.

Have you never struggled with anything? At all? if you have then use that to have a tiny bit of compassion. No one is saying people should ride unsuitable horses, but that isn't the same as saying its easy to get slim and stay there.

 

[FionaM12]

But I'm not just talking about the fact of riding, and that because people are thin they can ride better, but in my opinion why would you be ok with being fat when it has/can have detrimental effects on your health?

You don't know whether the poster is "okay with being fat" though. Just because they don't post the fact here doesn't mean they aren't trying to do something about it.

I don't think this thread is about asking people "How come you're overweight?", that's a huge and complex medical and psychological issue. Our concern, IMO is only about riders choosing horses who are comfortably able to carry them.

 

[ImmyS]

Yes I have struggled with things, obviously most people do and cope in different ways. If I have an issue I deal with it myself and don't inflict that problem on other people or my animals, but I'm sorry I do not have compassion for people who are overweight, I understand it can be more difficult for some people but surely if it was that easy to get fat, everyone would obese in the society we live in today. We choose what we put in our bodys and we have to accept the consequences.

 

[Big Ben]

Have you never struggled with anything? At all? if you have then use that to have a tiny bit of compassion. No one is saying people should ride unsuitable horses, but that isn't the same as saying its easy to get slim and stay there.

Nods head in agreement

 

[BeesKnees]

Actually statistically in the US, most people are overweight. One third of the population is obese and another third, overweight. Thats how easy it is.

 

[FionaM12]

Yes I have struggled with things, obviously most people do and cope in different ways. If I have an issue I deal with it myself and don't inflict that problem on other people or my animals, but I'm sorry I do not have compassion for people who are overweight, I understand it can be more difficult for some people but surely if it was that easy to get fat, everyone would obese in the society we live in today. We choose what we put in our bodys and we have to accept the consequences.

That's a very ignorant remark IMO. You really have no idea what you're talking about.

You "do not have compassion for people who are overweight"? Don't you realise how arrogant and insensitive that makes you?

I'm guessing you're very young. I hope so, because at least as you mature you might develop some wisdom and experience and understand your fellow humans better.

 

[rodeo12]

But I'm not just talking about the fact of riding, and that because people are thin they can ride better, but in my opinion why would you be ok with being fat when it has/can have detrimental effects on your health?

Who says I'm ok with fat, who says I haven't battled and battled? Who says I became fat out of choice? Who says I don't cry constantly about it just feeling like a hippo and unloveable?

I couldn't control my weight - it spiraled so quickly out of control, but I couldn't stop it at the time. I used to be beautifully tiny as a child, then at school I got so badly bullied. I'd been bullied most of primary school - I have the scars to show for it. For a few years my parents knew about it - my siblings were at the school so I could play with them and prevent it a little. But when they moved on I was left alone. The more my parents told the school the worse the bullying got. In the end I stopped telling anyone how bad it got. I also at this point had to walk to and from school on my own. Every playtime I would stand at the gates wondering if I'd be able to run away. I didn't know how to handle that at a young age. So I ate, and ate and ate. Then couldn't tell anyone because I didn't want anyone to speak to school because it got worse. So then I had to eat my dinner on top of that as my mum would have asked questions. This went on for a couple of years. My mum used to think when all the crisps and chocolate got eaten within a few days it was all of us eating it, never did she know, nor does know that I ate it all to numb the pain. I didn't know at that age it would make me fat, I just knew it made me feel better.

How, How can a 9/10/11/12 year old stop that bad relationship with food forming that would stay with them for years when there's no one they can turn to or talk to? They can't it just means those habits have developed until they 17/18/19 and suddenly a hippo. But then when you realise boys just laugh at you, people just bully you more calling you fat, you find yourself making the habit of comfort eating even worse because no body likes you. Then when you're then diagnosed with conditions that need weight loss to help with them, you realise just how big you've got and then just need to deal with those emotions, food just begs to be you're best friend . . .you're only friend. Then you try to break these habits, you try really hard, but then you have a slip up, or someone calls you fat, or somebody turns around and says you know what, you chose to be this way it sets you back 100 steps back.

It's not as easy as people think when they say just go on a diet. I have over 20 years of mental issues to deal with to do with food. The weight loss has happened before but it's hard to keep off because yes, I can eat healthy but what happens when somebody says a comment I don't like, or your nan dies - you go back a billion steps again and just eat and the weight all comes flooding back on and then you realise you no longer fit in clothes, so eat more to make yourself feel better.

It's not right and trust me, my comfort eating has almost stopped now, but that's because I realised there was a problem and did something about it. I went to a doctor who didn't shout at me telling me I needed to lose weight, but to one who said, yes I can see you're trying.

I don't want the sympathy vote, it's not why I wrote my life out. I just want people to see, that for me, and many others, it's not a choice, it's not something we're happy about but sometimes there's so many issues that we're have to deal with first that sometimes we don't even know that there are issues there. It's not until then the weight can come off. I still have to battle constantly with emotions. My friends regularly commenting on how I'm still single and have never had a boyfriend. My friends trying to set me up with someone else who's fat because nobody remotely good looking could ever like me. It's hard, it's not easy but sometimes people's tough love can have the opposite affects. I think really, that skinny people can have all the answers, but it's not until each individual case is unpicked that the cure can be found. Whether it's a kick up the backside stop eating 10 hamburgers, or whether it's a, once you're of steroids, the weight will sort itself out, or a why don't you see a doctor and get help approach.

I also think, sometimes smiles are put on the face where it appears to everyone else that we're happy, but inside, when the mask is taken off the real unhappiness lurks.

 

[Moomin1]

That's a very ignorant remark IMO. You really have no idea what you're talking about.

You "do not have compassion for people who are overweight"? Don't you realise how arrogant and insensitive that makes you?

I'm guessing you're very young. I hope so, because at least as you mature you might develop some wisdom and experience and understand your fellow humans better.

I understand your point about it sounding insensitive, but I have to say I agree to some point. We are responsible for looking after our bodies, nobody else, and therefore if we become overweight through neglect of ourselves then that's our individual fault.

Where I do have compassion is for those people who for whatever reason medically cannot exercise and/or on steroids causing weight gain.

 

[ImmyS]

I just think its insulting that obesity is considered a disease when it is self inflicted, I think more time, money and effort should be going into uncontrollable diseases such as cancer? Basically if people weren't overweight this thread wouldn't exist..and we generally wouldn't need ask ourselves whether we are too heavy.. Its common sense

 

[rodeo12]

I'm not sure anyone's saying overweight people can't be good riders, are they? Just that they need to find a horse capable of carrying them comfortably, or lose weight to ride the one they've got if it's not capable of doing so.

Do horses always "let us know"? Not everyone listens to their horse if they do. Look at the man on the grey in the OP. To me that little horse is crying out , but apparently the rider doesn't think so.

Others have commented on how we shouldn't ride for the sake of horses full stop. Thus suggesting we're too big to ride, causing suffering to our animals. Not everybody. There are those who have suggested that bigger people just need to be more careful of the choice of horse ridden. Thus my comment wasn't aimed at everybody because I would not get on something thin bonned or something I questioned as to whether it would take my weight so don't disagree with that view.

In terms of my comment about the horses let us know - well, that grey is letting the rider know. It's the riders ignorance that isn't making him see. That horse is obviously struggling and thus showing a sign the rider is too big. I think the important thing is not to think that bigger people shouldn't ride but to educate people about listening to their horse. Listening to your horse is what EVERY RIDER should do - whether it's looking out for lameness or whatever. So that man not listening is just a plain idiot, but then you have people who are ignorant in the care of their horses. BUT we don't judge everyone the same in that case - so why should the small minority judge bigger riders all the same?

Sorry if this seemed that it was aimed at everyone - just to the small minority.

 

[Moomin1]

I just think its insulting that obesity is considered a disease when it is self inflicted, I think more time, money and effort should be going into uncontrollable diseases such as cancer? Basically if people weren't overweight this thread wouldn't exist..and we generally wouldn't need ask ourselves whether we are too heavy.. Its common sense

Agree to a certain extent. I've gone up from a 10-12 size to a 12-14 size in the past year and I am getting off my ass and doing something about it, not wallowing in self pity. I have gained the weight because of ME. My lifestyle needs to alter and I need to accept I am older and less able to keep the calories off now.

 

[FionaM12]

I just think its insulting that obesity is considered a disease when it is self inflicted, I think more time, money and effort should be going into uncontrollable diseases such as cancer? Basically if people weren't overweight this thread wouldn't exist..and we generally wouldn't need ask ourselves whether we are too heavy.. Its common sense

Honestly, you're just getting yourself deeper into a hole here. I'd stop digging if I were you.

There are many, many subjects on this forum which I know little about. That's why I don't comment on them, because if I did, I'd look very stupid and annoy people.

Many cancers are caused by lifestyle btw (smoking, diet etc). Perhaps we should remove funding for them too.

 

[ImmyS]

Yes I know many cancers are caused by lifestyle, I've had family members die of lung cancer from smoking, in this day and age, we know the consequences of such actions whether it be smoking, over eating etc.. And its individuals responsibilities to look after thenselves, we have all the tools to stay healthy.. There are no excuses

 

[Cinnamontoast]

Many cancers are caused by lifestyle btw (smoking, diet etc). Perhaps we should remove funding for them too.

But funding is being removed for obesity related medical issues. Big news a few months ago. So it seems that some (most?) doctors see it as a self inflicted problem. The cancer because you smoke idea cannot be long in following.

 

[FionaM12]

I understand your point about it sounding insensitive, but I have to say I agree to some point. We are responsible for looking after our bodies, nobody else, and therefore if we become overweight through neglect of ourselves then that's our individual fault.

Where I do have compassion is for those people who for whatever reason medically cannot exercise and/or on steroids causing weight gain.

And do you know and understand eating disorders and why they wreck lives and cause death? If a young girl dies of anorexia or bulimia, was it her "fault" or was she ill? Compulsive eating is part of the same spectrum and just as much an illness. It's not so simple to divide people into those who have "medical reasons" and those who don't, believe me.

Agree to a certain extent. I've gone up from a 10-12 size to a 12-14 size in the past year and I am getting off my ass and doing something about it, not wallowing in self pity. I have gained the weight because of ME. My lifestyle needs to alter and I need to accept I am older and less able to keep the calories off now.

You have gained a very small amount of weight, and are dealing with it. Well done, but please don't judge others who may have a lifetime of major problems and eating disorders and aren't so lucky.

 

[Bigbenji]

Honestly, you're just getting yourself deeper into a hole here. I'd stop digging if I were you.

There are many, many subjects on this forum which I know little about. That's why I don't comment on them, because if I did, I'd look very stupid and annoy people.

Many cancers are caused by lifestyle btw (smoking, diet etc). Perhaps we should remove funding for them too.

I agree with you. There are many illnesses caused by lifestyle. Drinking, smoking even stress is known to be a major factor but most of us can't avoid that!

Immys your views seem rather simplistic. If someone was injured in a car crash because they were speeding, their choice to speed, do you think they should not recieve help/treatment?

 

[FionaM12]

Yes I know many cancers are caused by lifestyle, I've had family members die of lung cancer from smoking, in this day and age, we know the consequences of such actions whether it be smoking, over eating etc.. And its individuals responsibilities to look after thenselves, we have all the tools to stay healthy.. There are no excuses

At the risk of sounding patronizing, it's clear from your posts you are very young (15? 16?) with no experience of the very complex issue of eating disorders and weight problems. I suspect one day you may look back on these posts of yours and cringe.

 

[BeesKnees]

Rodeo12, you speak for many many people who have used food to medicate their emotional pain. Despite what some may say on this thread, there are many of us who do understand how we can mess ourselves up and how hard it is to change.

To all thise struggling with being healthy please know you can make changes. Take it one day at a time, keep fighting and you will get to where you want to be. I know because I did it, and am grateful every day to have my life back.

 

[Big Ben]

Honestly, you're just getting yourself deeper into a hole here. I'd stop digging if I were you.

Oh I don't know it's good exercise, maybe a way of keeping fit

It makes me laugh, because when we talk about about fit and healthy lifestyles, does someone who chooses to ride a horse across country at full speed deserve, to be put together again when they break?

Does someone who diets to the point of starvation deserve our support because it's their fault that they aren't eating.

Again it is complicated, if it were so flaming simple there wouldn't be people who struggle, there are those who are posting who understand, there are young people who are posting who may find that they understand better as they get older.

Losing weight, yeah I can do that, keeping it off, like 95% of big weight loss people I struggle to keep it off. This time is going to have to be different, because I don't know if I can stand there looking at the mountain I have to climb again after this.

 

[FionaM12]

If it were so flaming simple there wouldn't be people who struggle, there are those who are posting who understand, there are young people who are posting who may find that they understand better as they get older.

Beautifully put.


Look you lot, you've distracted me from going to bed

Really off now. Goodnight all.

 

[ImmyS]

I think its a bit quick to judge the way I feel by my age, I have always had this opinion and probably always will. Just because I am young do you think i haven't experienced anything, I'm stupid, I've never been bullied? You think im quick to judge and 'arrogant', but you're just as sharp on the judgement.

 

[Moomin1]

Everyone's beginning to miss the point here. Fine, it may be an eating disorder causing someone to be obese, similarly it may cause them to be emaciated. But an emaciated anorexic sitting on a horse does not pose a physical threat to that horse. An obese person does. So, the answer is, no it's not acceptable, for obese or overweight riders, to justify the extra weight put on a horse just because of their personal issues.

Of course, perspective and common sense is the key - so there really isn't much point trying to speculate what weights should be suitable to ride which horses.

FWIW, OP, I do feel you look too heavy on the horses you are riding in your pics.

 

[YorksG]

I think its a bit quick to judge the way I feel by my age, I have always had this opinion and probably always will. Just because I am young do you think i haven't experienced anything, I'm stupid, I've never been bullied? You think im quick to judge and 'arrogant', but you're just as sharp on the judgement.

People judged you to be young, based on the tone of your posting, and guess what, they were right!
The fact that you are young, almost by definition, means that you know less and have less life experience than an older person. You do not understand eating disorders, or mental illness, but you are not expected to, because you are a young person, who has received no training in these matters, or had much experience of them. However being young, does not excuse you being rude and asserting your opinion as fact.