Horses and having children on yards....thoughts?

[Abi90]

I'm so glad I'm not the only non maternal one. What I hear a lot is "people should be more empathetic towards kids and parents when they react". To a certain extent I understand this, for example, in a supermarket there is nothing you can do about it. But kids screaming on planes and running round the aisles is really annoying, if you are going to visit relatives then fair enough, but if you're on that plane because you wanted a foreign Holiday but your children don't like flying (possibly because it makes their ears hurt and they don't understand), don't put them in that situation and have a holiday in the UK. After spending 6 hours on a plane with a child kicking the back of my seat the entire time and his Mum saying "oh he's just 5 so there's not much I can do", then his sister screaming and getting "oh she gets ear ache and doesn't like flying"... then why have you put her on a plane when it hurts her and she's too young to understand!

I know I'm probably going to get bashed for this and told "we'll just because I've had a child doesn't mean I shouldn't get a holiday"... well it was a choice, and you make sacrifices for children. I don't get to go on foreign holidays because I bought a horse. No one is entitled to go jet setting.

In fact, I actually agree with what others have said, it's not the children per se, but the way some people choose to manage them.

 

[Jack110]

I'm so glad I'm not the only non maternal one. What I hear a lot is "people should be more empathetic towards kids and parents when they react". To a certain extent I understand this, for example, in a supermarket there is nothing you can do about it. But kids screaming on planes and running round the aisles is really annoying, if you are going to visit relatives then fair enough, but if you're on that plane because you wanted a foreign Holiday but your children don't like flying (possibly because it makes their ears hurt and they don't understand), don't put them in that situation and have a holiday in the UK. After spending 6 hours on a plane with a child kicking the back of my seat the entire time and his Mum saying "oh he's just 5 so there's not much I can do", then his sister screaming and getting "oh she gets ear ache and doesn't like flying"... then why have you put her on a plane when it hurts her and she's too young to understand!

I know I'm probably going to get bashed for this and told "we'll just because I've had a child doesn't mean I shouldn't get a holiday"... well it was a choice, and you make sacrifices for children. I don't get to go on foreign holidays because I bought a horse. No one is entitled to go jet setting.

In fact, I actually agree with what others have said, it's not the children per se, but the way some people choose to manage them.

Full support from me, it is the parents. My friends have all managed to raise polite well mannered children and would never let them behave badly infront of other people. If you take your children out at least try to make sure they behave. If kids come to my yard they are read the riot act no running, screaming and they must do what I tell them. They are always good as gold, even little ones they just have to know you mean it.

 

[Red-1]

Oh I have sympathy Abi90 with the plane scenario. We flew back from Venice and had 2 small kids behind us. Both yelled and whinged the entire flight.

I did not mind the screaming on take off and landing so much, that was through pain/ weird feeling in ears. That is understandable. It was the constant yelling Muuuuum, Muuuuum, How long now? Muuuuuum, Muuuuuum, can I have a drink. Muuuuuum, Muuuuum, I want to sit by the window. et al.(have they never heard of 'indoor voices'?) and the kicking of the seats.

I felt most sorry for the couple next to me who were returning from their honeymoon. She was constantly kicked in the back, the entire flight. At times he was also leaning over the seat and pulling the lady's hair. The parents were politely spoken to, and they claimed to not be able to do anything about it, he is only young. The kids were perhaps 4 and 6.

To add insult to injury at the end of the flight the father turned to the mother and congratulated everyone on their good behaviour!!!

Compare this with the very polite young man on Etihad Airlines

[video]https://www.facebook.com/kamau.pharis.79/videos/2370566769835937/[/video]

Now that is a young man whose parents have paid attention and answered questions.

I was recently in a curry house with a friend, and a lady at the next table was with 2 kids, on her phone playing a game the entire time. Poor kids had no one to talk to, so ran around, stomped food into the floor, screeched etc. She also told them that they were good girls!

ETA - I went to restaurants from a very early age, I would never have got up from my seat without permission, and whoever was with me (child of a single mum) would talk to me and engage me in the conversation, so I did not have to do the Muuuuuum thing. I guess they may have wanted to talk about something more adult, but if we were in public they would tailor the conversation so I was involved. It is only what you would do with another adult who had different interests, you would find common ground, not ignore the other person.

 

[Jack110]

Oh I have sympathy Abi90 with the plane scenario. We flew back from Venice and had 2 small kids behind us. Both yelled and whinged the entire flight.

I did not mind the screaming on take off and landing so much, that was through pain/ weird feeling in ears. That is understandable. It was the constant yelling Muuuuum, Muuuuum, How long now? Muuuuuum, Muuuuuum, can I have a drink. Muuuuuum, Muuuuum, I want to sit by the window. et al.(have they never heard of 'indoor voices'?) and the kicking of the seats.

I felt most sorry for the couple next to me who were returning from their honeymoon. She was constantly kicked in the back, the entire flight. The parents were politely spoken to, and they claimed to not be able to do anything about it.

To add insult to injury at the end of the flight the father turned to the mother and congratulated everyone on their good behaviour!!!

O my god my worst nightmare, I have been know to talk directly to the children. I never mind if the parents try to correct the kids, it's the ones who abdicated responsibility and say they can't do anything, try smacking their backside usually works����

 

[Farma]

I don't understand being shocked. Why should it be expected that people tolerate other people's children? If someone decides to have a child, that is lovely for them but it doesn't give them the right to expect everyone else to enjoy its company.

Your quote above makes me understand why you're not getting entirely positive reactions. It comes across quite entitled. Yes, you cannot bind and gag him, but you can stop bringing him to a livery yard where others are trying to enjoy what is usually very limited and expensive time with their horses. Instead, you are basically saying that he's a toddler and will scream and wander, and others just have to suck it up even if it makes them uncomfortable or anxious.

I like to think that we no longer live in a world where being a female automatically means that you are expected to like children and be maternal. I think the wide variation of responses from people who love kids and people who really don't like them is actually quite encouraging. It's good to know that there are people who don't like children and don't feel pressured into having to pretend they do. It's equally good to know that there are people who love them and are comfortable with being maternal.



I think this is really short sighted, to be honest. It isn't natural for everyone, and not everything that is natural must automatically be right. There is nothing wrong with not wanting or being able to have a traditional family.

Of course I don't think everyone should want a family or have a family, but I do think there should be some understanding towards people that do, it is a natural thing, not something odd that should then isolate mums that do *god forbid* take their child with them to places where there are predominantly adults, the same when I am on a yard of mixed people I have to understand and tolerate all different types of people with mixed experience, knowledge and abilities and the challenges that can bring. I don't own my own yard, therefore I have to accept there will be a mix of others that all have to get along.

You say I could stop taking my child to the stables so people don't have to pay lots of money for their horses for it to be affected by my child, this is the response I cant believe, what should I do sell my horse? My child barely comes with me but there is times he has to as I cant just get childcare so readily!

If I come across entitled then so be it, it doesn't seem a lot to me to be able to take my child now and again to the yard, the negative attitudes have never been toward me directly just things I have heard from others now that now I am a mum that have shocked me, having a child whilst having horses has certainly been an eye opener, a world that I have always enjoyed and worked hard in suddenly seems a lot less enjoyable and welcoming and that's a massive shame.

 

[hobo]

We had kids on the last yard I was on. The owner was a family friend of the YO's and they used to race up and down the yard (indoor spacious barn stables) on small kid tractors and god knows what else. I dislike children and dont see the point in them. The only use they had was to de sensitise the horse to stupid kid things but an accident waiting to happen.

God i hate kids!! Ergghhhhhh

If you have a horse WHY OH WHY would you want to get up the duff and produce a brat!!!! Horses are sooo much better.

Love this post....

 

[Tiddlypom]

Farma, how do you manage your child when you take him to the stables?

Some noise and chatter is fine, and anyone objecting to that is IMHO just being miserable :rolleyes3:. As said upthread by many, it's the unsupervised bored shrieking kids racing around near other peoples' horses and creating havoc on the yard which is the issue for most.

 

[Farma]

Farma, how do you manage your child when you take him to the stables?

Some noise and chatter is fine, and anyone objecting to that is IMHO just being miserable :rolleyes3:. As said upthread by many, it's the unsupervised bored shrieking kids racing around near other peoples' horses and creating havoc on the yard which is the issue for most.

Mine is in a pram, he literally only comes if he has to, I walk the horse to the field with him occasionally and that's fine, when I muck out he goes in the stable with me to 'help', and if its clear can walk to the muck heap and back, that's it, he will sometimes have a sit on the horse while I hold him and he loves it!
He doesn't run around, make loads of noise or go near anyone else's horse, BUT he can occasionally have a moan if he wants to get out or wants to try and get in the water bucket while he is in the stable, things like that. Like I say nobody has ever moaned about him as such its more the doors that have closed to me since having him and things I have heard. I needed to move yards and simply am not welcome at several nice places if he needs to ever come with me and as I say having been a livery at lovely yards my whole life and had kids around it was a huge surprise to me! I have always had competition horses and lived my life at numerous huge showgrounds and never thought about it! People have kids its just part of being around people I thought!
Even at bd camp there were a few children and buggies, I didn't take my child but didn't mind them at all and I am sure a lot of people go there for a break!
To me having the horse takes a lot of our family money and its nice to have family time there were he can enjoy the outdoors.
I understand the people that don't want loads of kids creating havoc, nobody wants that, but it does seem that it goes further than that for a lot of people and that's what I had no idea about until I had one of my own.

 

[ILuvCowparsely]

Oh I have sympathy Abi90 with the plane scenario. We flew back from Venice and had 2 small kids behind us. Both yelled and whinged the entire flight.

I did not mind the screaming on take off and landing so much, that was through pain/ weird feeling in ears. That is understandable. It was the constant yelling Muuuuum, Muuuuum, How long now? Muuuuuum, Muuuuuum, can I have a drink. Muuuuuum, Muuuuum, I want to sit by the window. et al.(have they never heard of 'indoor voices'?) and the kicking of the seats.

I felt most sorry for the couple next to me who were returning from their honeymoon. She was constantly kicked in the back, the entire flight. At times he was also leaning over the seat and pulling the lady's hair. The parents were politely spoken to, and they claimed to not be able to do anything about it, he is only young. The kids were perhaps 4 and 6.

To add insult to injury at the end of the flight the father turned to the mother and congratulated everyone on their good behaviour!!!

Compare this with the very polite young man on Etihad Airlines

[video]https://www.facebook.com/kamau.pharis.79/videos/2370566769835937/[/video]

Now that is a young man whose parents have paid attention and answered questions.

I was recently in a curry house with a friend, and a lady at the next table was with 2 kids, on her phone playing a game the entire time. Poor kids had no one to talk to, so ran around, stomped food into the floor, screeched etc. She also told them that they were good girls!

ETA - I went to restaurants from a very early age, I would never have got up from my seat without permission, and whoever was with me (child of a single mum) would talk to me and engage me in the conversation, so I did not have to do the Muuuuuum thing. I guess they may have wanted to talk about something more adult, but if we were in public they would tailor the conversation so I was involved. It is only what you would do with another adult who had different interests, you would find common ground, not ignore the other person.

Oh red -1 I empathise with you
I know that so well, when we queue up at the airport and see lots of kids we think god I hope that isn't on our flight. Two or three years ago a group of 4 sets of twins were sitting behind us. I was not aware of this till about 15 minutes into the flight, when thump thump thump........... thump thump thump............... a thump thump thump thump thump.thump............... thump thump thump.. Then I in no gentle manner jerked back in my seat to get the message across. thump thump thump. thump thump thump. thump thump thump thump thump thump.. scream yell thump thump thump. 15 further minutes of thumping dirty glares from me thump thump thump. thump thump thump. thump thump thump. thump thump thump. scream loud laughing . Me who avoids any shouting in real life - can hold my temper even when someone shouting and screaming at me lost it and lent over my seat and said **STOP KICKING MY SEAT*. 1/2 hr went by thump thump thump. thump thump thump. laughing thump thump thump. thump thump thump.. More dirty glares. Hubby got up and said to the man a in the aisle seat ( part of the group) Can you stop kicking my wife's chair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The last 1/2 and hour of a 4 1/2 flight was peaceful, only to start again screaming from 8 kids all the way to the baggage area .

I cringe every-time I see kids queuing up to check in.


I have also be known to walk out the shop which had screaming kids in .


The funniest to tell is when I worked at Tesco,s and one evening a kid was screaming and yelling for something it wanted right down in the cake aisle and continued up and down the aisle through frozen through the washing and household then through the drinks. By the time it got near wines and spirits I was in the warehouse till it went down the cakes coffee cereal etc down to the front. It was just like AIRPLANE film with the top fin coming through the clouds and that jaws music.

 

[milliepops]

Farma, how do you manage your child when you take him to the stables?

Some noise and chatter is fine, and anyone objecting to that is IMHO just being miserable :rolleyes3:. As said upthread by many, it's the unsupervised bored shrieking kids racing around near other peoples' horses and creating havoc on the yard which is the issue for most.

^^ this.
I think many of us who would prefer not to have children on a yard have previously experienced that shrieking chaos and needing to have eyes in the back of our heads.. and that affects how you then feel about other - maybe perfectly well behaved - children in the future. Once bitten, & all that.

 

[mother_of_poniesx]

We had kids on the last yard I was on. The owner was a family friend of the YO's and they used to race up and down the yard (indoor spacious barn stables) on small kid tractors and god knows what else. I dislike children and dont see the point in them. The only use they had was to de sensitise the horse to stupid kid things but an accident waiting to happen.

God i hate kids!! Ergghhhhhh

If you have a horse WHY OH WHY would you want to get up the duff and produce a brat!!!! Horses are sooo much better

Oh how I wish this forum had a like button

I'm not overly fond of children myself. I certainly don't want any of my own! My partner has a daughter with his ex, and while I'm happy to see her, sometimes I'm even happier to take her back home

 

[GemG]

Oh dear, there's a lot of kid hate going in here.

Now, first things first, it's not the kids that are the problem.. it's the parent(s)/person in charge of them, or lack of in some cases. I see this in all walks of life.

Whilst some of us can be as anti kid as we like, we were all kids at one stage and I (and I'm sure many if you) wouldn't be where I am on my horse journey now, with the experience I have, without some very lovely 'adults' who let me have access to their pride and joys when I was one of those annoying horsey kids.

 

[ILuvCowparsely]

Oh dear, there's a lot of kid hate going in here.

Now, first things first, it's not the kids that are the problem.. it's the parent(s)/person in charge of them, or lack of in some cases. I see this in all walks of life.

Whilst some of us can be as anti kid as we like, we were all kids at one stage and I (and I'm sure many if you) wouldn't be where I am on my horse journey now, with the experience I have, without some very lovely 'adults' who let me have access to their pride and joys when I was one of those annoying horsey kids.

We have already said we would not be here without our parents conception - but that does not in anyway mean we are born loving kids and wanting them. I have never been maternal and never wanted kids , where as my sisters have. We all have the same parents but we are born different with different values and different expectations and different choices.


I think there are too many gadgets in this world and kids spend more time on them than playing games and cycling, so kids learn aggression - defiance- chat back- dis respectfulness on many of these so call electronic babysitters. WE played outside - had boundaries - never disrespected my parents. The odd smack on the bum or the back of the legs never turned me into a child whose parents were done for reprimanding me this way. Youngsters well teens went off to fight for their country, old ladies felt safer in their house or walking down the street.



I see my youngest niece 3 times a year when we travel to my sister, I rarely get a hello, no thank you form the present. They spend most of the time on the electronic games, yes my sister is wrong imo to let them. You would think they wanted to say hello to us or have a chat but no games are more important.

In car videos - they are another pet peeve = another baby sitter.

We spent out car journey making names out of licence plates seeing how many red cars or such we see etc. This is education imo and make kids aware of their surroundings and thinking of word making out or car plates - travel games like scrabble or draughts instead of head down watching mindless programmes and cartoons, heads down the whole journey


Kids have it easy no no telling off - electronic games on tap. Electronic games = the babysitters of 2017.

 

[GemG]

We have already said we would not be here without our parents conception - but that does not in anyway mean we are born loving kids and wanting them. I have never been maternal and never wanted kids , where as my sisters have. We all have the same parents but we are born different with different values and different expectations and different choices.

I think there are too many gadgets in this world and kids spend more time on them than playing games and cycling, so kids learn aggression - defiance- chat back- dis respectfulness on many of these so call electronic babysitters. WE played outside - had boundaries - never disrespected my parents. The odd smack on the bum or the back of the legs never turned me into a child whose parents were done for reprimanding me this way. Youngsters well teens went off to fight for their country, old ladies felt safer in their house or walking down the street.



I see my youngest niece 3 times a year when we travel to my sister, I rarely get a hello, no thank you form the present. They spend most of the time on the electronic games, yes my sister is wrong imo to let them. You would think they wanted to say hello to us or have a chat but no games are more important.

In car videos - they are another pet peeve = another baby sitter.

We spent out car journey making names out of licence plates seeing how many red cars or such we see etc. This is education imo and make kids aware of their surroundings and thinking of word making out or car plates - travel games like scrabble or draughts instead of head down watching mindless programmes and cartoons, heads down the whole journey


Kids have it easy no no telling off - electronic games on tap. Electronic games = the babysitters of 2017.

I never said you or anyone should have kids/want kids/be maternal.

Edited to add.. yes, absolutely, there are some horrible brats out there, equally there are some lovely, bright and respectful little people.

 

[SEL]

I actually like kids on a yard - providing they are well behaved!

I've been on yards since I was 4 years old but bad behaviour was not tolerated when I was a little one. If I was told not to go near a certain horse then I wouldn't, I didn't touch anything I wasn't allowed to and I was very respectful of adults. Mainly because I wouldn't have been allowed back if I had misbehaved and the pony addiction had well and truly set in by then.

I suspect most of the people coming across as kiddie-haters on here just dislike being around badly behaved ones who are pandered to by their parents rather than kids in general! If livery yards won't have kids on them then it will be because they or their customers have had bad experiences in the past. So rather than moan about the yard just make sure your kids don't turn into those little monsters that get a bad reputation.

 

[asmp]

We used to have a lady on our yard with two well behaved children BUT she didn't think to tell them off when they used to climb the large haylage bales and sit on them. Not only were they possibly damaging the bales by making holes in them, there was the risk of the bales falling (and possible killing the children).

 

[Farma]

I actually like kids on a yard - providing they are well behaved!

I've been on yards since I was 4 years old but bad behaviour was not tolerated when I was a little one. If I was told not to go near a certain horse then I wouldn't, I didn't touch anything I wasn't allowed to and I was very respectful of adults. Mainly because I wouldn't have been allowed back if I had misbehaved and the pony addiction had well and truly set in by then.

I suspect most of the people coming across as kiddie-haters on here just dislike being around badly behaved ones who are pandered to by their parents rather than kids in general! If livery yards won't have kids on them then it will be because they or their customers have had bad experiences in the past. So rather than moan about the yard just make sure your kids don't turn into those little monsters that get a bad reputation.

So if you had a child now, a perfectly normal and well cared for child and you had to leave your yard because others had bad experiences previously or you couldn't find a decent yard because people didn't want someone with a child being a livery, that wouldn't offend you in any way? You wouldn't feel that as a previously welcomed and good customer that has never caused a days problem, suddenly ostracized in a community you have been a big part of?

 

[pippixox]

much s we all love our horses I would have thought that mothers could tear themselves away for a few hours to give birth in a maternity unit. ( Having children on yards)---Sorry I couldn't resist LOL

haha, funny you should say that. I was on labor giving my horses their dinner!

 

[GemG]

In reply to the original post though... I suppose it's horses for courses. Some people want yards with kids included, some don't. I have two young children and they are kept on a tight rein... (at all times) but I know other parents don't. I also have a stallion and youngster to contend with. I am so careful as I am terrified of them getting squashed/kicked. Although the kids have inadvertently made my youngster more tolerant of strange/sudden noises certainly. I don't want them annoying other liveries though, so don't let them. Incidentally they (horses) are less hassle than the kids!

There's no right/wrong about whether a yard should or shouldn't allow kids. it's the last thing some people want to see after a stressful day when it's their hobby/downtime. Other have to bring /include kids because they have chosen to have a family and keeps horses also. If I didn't have the horses I would probably lose my sanity with just the kids.

 

[pippixox]

it does depend on the yard set up and type
I take my baby (now about 15 months) to the yard twice a day every day as I am DIY- I'm just renting land and a barn and there are a few other people there too, 2 with children, 2 without. I wish I didn't have to take him with me but my husband works very long hours. I wont give up my horses.

The kids have an area with lots of toys to play in, but they are all taught from a very young age to listen and where to stand out of the way ect. We try and be considerate with each other.

I happily help out with the other children- I may entertain my friends 2-4 year olds while she is sorting out one of her horses, then she may push my baby around if he is getting impatient......

however- I completely understand peoples annoyance- I love my horses and sometimes go to the yard for some piece and quiet and don't want to end up babysitting! Children should not have free reign- horses are the priority

 

[Merlod]

I dislike children and dont see the point in them. The only use they had was to de sensitise the horse to stupid kid things but an accident waiting to happen.

God i hate kids!! Ergghhhhhh

If you have a horse WHY OH WHY would you want to get up the duff and produce a brat!!!! Horses are sooo much better.

Absolutely 100% this!!

 

[Pinkvboots]

I really don't mind kids I tend to hack out with kids more than I do with adults, I actually find that children with ponies are no trouble at all they just want to get on and get there pony done, but kids that tend to just have to go along with mum are the ones that get up to no good as they are bored and don't really want to be there.

I do think some parents expect kids to spend an awful amount of time at yards, I remember years ago I worked at a yard were one livery spent all day every day with her horse, then at 3pm would go and pick her daughter up and expect the poor little thing to sit in the car in winter for another 2 hours while she fafed about doing good god knows what's with the horse, I remember hearing the little girl crying this particular night was freezing, I did ask her why she came back after being at the yard all day to spend further hours doing god knows what, she said it was so the horse could stay out until 4.30 which I find crazy so the poor kid has to sit around and freeze so the horse gets an extra hour in the field.

I have also seen some kids almost get run over at a yard because they are allowed to just run around like lunatics not being watched, I have also been on a yard which has had business units at the back of the place so there is a lot of traffic in and out with strangers driving onto the yard yet kids were left unattended which is just plain stupid as it's just as bad as leaving them to walk the street.

 

[Birker2020]

If kids are well behaved then its fine, but if you have to tell them a thousand times not to run down the aisle or bash a toy car on the side of a ménage fence whilst a 4 year old baby is being backed, or tell them not to keep walking behind horses bottoms then I think they shouldn't be on a yard. Its okay saying 'if they are supervised' but lets face it, most people wouldn't be able to multitask mucking out, grooming, tacking up and riding with small children running amok which isn't really surprising given the circumstances. Not that I have anything against kids, and my horse wouldn't care if they did all three of those things with her.She's trusting to the extreme! Having said that I know of someone who used to take her baby down to the ménage in the basket (or whatever its called) and leave it safe the other side of the fence whilst she rode and he was fine. When she was older she was in a pram and later a pushchair. Although I would bet odds of 1000 to 1 on my horse not kicking a child no horse is 100% bomb proof and I wouldn't forgive myself if anything happened to another persons kid(s) as a result of my horse kicking out in fright.

 

[ester]

Oh dear, there's a lot of kid hate going in here.

Now, first things first, it's not the kids that are the problem.. it's the parent(s)/person in charge of them, or lack of in some cases. I see this in all walks of life.

Whilst some of us can be as anti kid as we like, we were all kids at one stage and I (and I'm sure many if you) wouldn't be where I am on my horse journey now, with the experience I have, without some very lovely 'adults' who let me have access to their pride and joys when I was one of those annoying horsey kids.

See I think there are two things here.
As stated I am perfectly happy to have kids round to come and play with my ponies, as I would have loved someone to do for me when I was a kid.
For me that is entirely different scenario to having kids around a yard every evening and weekend when I am very much in need of some 'quiet time' in order to recharge for the following day. I select spaces for being 'adult spaces' I presume those with children select spaces for being 'family friendly'.

As you say, you were one of those annoying horsey kids, as has been said several times the horsey ones are not generally annoying, the ones who have been dragged down there because there mum is there and they have to do the horse whatever the weather are the ones that tend to be annoying.

 

[Rowreach]

haha, funny you should say that. I was on labor giving my horses their dinner!

I was in labour when the horse walker fixer came to change the motor on it - no way was I going to be without the walker in the middle of winter when I'd just given birth I kept telling him to hurry up so I could get to the hospital. He didn't hang about

 

[SEL]

So if you had a child now, a perfectly normal and well cared for child and you had to leave your yard because others had bad experiences previously or you couldn't find a decent yard because people didn't want someone with a child being a livery, that wouldn't offend you in any way? You wouldn't feel that as a previously welcomed and good customer that has never caused a days problem, suddenly ostracized in a community you have been a big part of?

There are always yards around where kids are welcome - often those attached to riding schools. Your child may have perfect manners and be incredibly well behaved but sadly many are not and YOs have the right to respect the wish of their clients to have adult only spaces. It isn't those clients that have reduced your options but other parents.

Is your current YO actually asking you to leave the yard because of your child?

 

[Aperchristmas]

Young children are tricky to have around yards as they can't really be physically restrained in a pram for long periods and therefore they can quite easily put themselves in dangerous situations. I would feel so awful if my horse kicked a child, even if it wasn't the horse's fault. Well supervised children helping out their parents with chores can be a delight, as can be little children with their own ponies. I would also appreciate the help in spook-busting, provided that little ones didn't get too close to the horses legs!

 

[Merlod]

So if you had a child now, a perfectly normal and well cared for child and you had to leave your yard because others had bad experiences previously or you couldn't find a decent yard because people didn't want someone with a child being a livery, that wouldn't offend you in any way? You wouldn't feel that as a previously welcomed and good customer that has never caused a days problem, suddenly ostracized in a community you have been a big part of?

If you were an otherwise good tenant who rented a house that didn't allow pets and one day you decided to buy a puppy would you expect the landlord to change the rules to suit you?

Not to mention the fact that it may ostracize all the other good liveries who have chosen the yard on the basis that it is child free.

 

[ihatework]

So if you had a child now, a perfectly normal and well cared for child and you had to leave your yard because others had bad experiences previously or you couldn't find a decent yard because people didn't want someone with a child being a livery, that wouldn't offend you in any way? You wouldn't feel that as a previously welcomed and good customer that has never caused a days problem, suddenly ostracized in a community you have been a big part of?

When you say ostracized what do you mean? I had the impression no one had bought it up as an issue?

As a non maternal member of society, I can tolerate well behave children (or actually what I mean is well parented children - I can forgive the odd episode of bad behaviour if it’s clear the parent is doing their best).

BUT I generally have little time for children I’m not acquainted with. I find new parents rather Rose tinted and the topic of conversation about mostly the little darling I have no interest in. Therefore unless close family/friend I generally gravitate away from what are quite often over bearing mothers.

Are you sure you aren’t just being a bit over sensitive - liveries might not want to interact with your child in their downtime, and the easiest way to avoid that is to distance themselves.

Plus us horse people are generally a bit odd, let’s face it

 

[Aperchristmas]

Plus us horse people are generally a bit odd, let’s face it

I think many of the queries and problems on this forum could be answered with this