Pinkvboots
Well-Known Member
Tell her you have sold the yard to me I will happily ring her up and tell her to feck off 
How do I word it... is it justified... is it just a rant?
- Thread starter dominobrown
- Start date
FieldOrnaments
Well-Known Member
just tell them due to personal circumstances they've got 30 days to find somewhere else and leave....no need to mention the personal circumstances being that you're sick to the back teeth of their BS!
AmyMay
Situation normal
Well presumably the deed is done. Really hope it went ok xx
Ratface
Well-Known Member
Quick. Borrow some sheep!
DabDab
Ah mud, splendid
People with ADHD are generally strongly empathetic, over sensitive, overly self critical, and can't bear with the idea that they have upset someone in a social setting...hardly a description that could be applied to someone as consistently inconsiderate as the OP's livery sounds.
Not that it makes the slightest difference to the OP's situation anyway, because whatever the reason for her terrible behaviour, this godawful sounding freeloader absolutely needs to go.
little_critter
Well-Known Member
Alternatively you could try to drive her out by becoming bat sh+t crazy. Not nasty, just absolutely nuts. Then you don’t need to put the big pants on and give notice. See it as a challenge as to how much nutty ness she will put up with before she moves.
But seriously, I hope you’ve been able to give notice and survive.
But seriously, I hope you’ve been able to give notice and survive.
Ratface
Well-Known Member
At this point, my Yard Owner would be visibly cleaning her (legally owned) shotgun . . .
ILuvCowparsely
Well-Known Member
I was being generous - I would have booted her off my yard after a month of doing these things, she would not last long here - hence why we have a no dogs on yard policy. OP Get rid of her, your life will be better, with so called friends like this you don't need the hassle I would say the
is 
don't let it hit you on the way out
LadyGascoyne
Well-Known Member
So I have a friend/ livery left on my yard and I am getting increasingly annoyed. I know it might just be me feeling ranty (just opened a bottle of wine), so not sure I am in the right but I am at my wits end?
Need advice from rational non- biased people (you lot will be un-biased, may or may not be rational!!!)
These are my complaints in no particular order though the last one happened today.
Sorry guys, that's war and peace!!!! Some of it petty on my part, some inexcusable? I don't want to be horrible and I know I am going to 'btched' about when I ask them to leave to the equine community but I am going demented here.
- Showing up really late to do the horse often after 9pm or 10pm. Quite often I will have need up doing the horse for them and yard is at my house and will be locked up etc and I will be woken up by a car a like 10.30pm.
- Late or not show up for dentist/ farrier etc so I will have to go and get horse in and hold for them.
- Payment problems (this a long drawn out issue, which is currently resolved but has been a problem in the past)
- Their stuff everywhere in tack room, everything messy and loads of things taking up more and more space.
- Stable full of bin bags... there moved out of their house and stuff out of their garage was put in one of the spare stables without asking! It has been months now and I have asked them to move it and they haven't. I know I have empty stables but I may want to fill them and its full of random stuff.
- Using my grooming kits... each of my horses has its own grooming kit outside its stable. I think it helps with cross-contamination and make it easy to find a hoof pick etc. They have admitted to it as all my brushes are covered in white hairs (I only have bay horses) and keep missing things like hoof picks etc.
- Using my headcoller (for ages as theirs broke, or sometimes just the first headcoller they find is mine). This may be a bit of a petty one on my part.
- Putting their horse in my stables... so if they have mucked out and bring their horse in they will put it one of my stables so it doesn't make its stable messy, even if my stables are mucked and have hay put in etc or are dirty.
- Mess on yard... like mess everywhere really. Rubbish not put in bins, never sweeping up, leaving things everywhere, not putting hosepipe away etc.
- Dogs pooing everywhere... they have dogs that poo on yard, in tack room etc and its never cleared up.
- My dog in arena chasing their horse.. my dog will chase horses on the lunge in the arena so I have said and said again to shut him in, or let me know and I will before you lunge for everyones safety or not let him the arena with a horse in any circumstances. I know its my dog (and my problem, and my fault) but its a private yard and I don't want anyone hurt. I don't mind if they say "I am lunging my horse, can you lock your dog up please".
- Letting horse off loose in the arena... told not to do this as it has grassy banks which they slide down and they climb all over and through the jumps store etc so its not safe.
- Randomers coming to yard... like all the time, and lets just not say it's not the cream of society, just random people, some very incoherent (its always snowing somewhere?!) to talk coming to yard "to see the oss's" and one has been seen taking videos of the farm machinery, exploring etc.
- Leaving lights on.. even at this time of year in broad daylight, and it's such a bright barn inside they you cannot tell they have been left it on until like 11pm when it goes dark.
- Never ever poo picked.. like ever
- Bringing people to yard who I have told can’t come... this is about one particular situation after a falling out with a 'boyfriend' who again is not someone you would trust (and has recently done a stint in prison for dealing and stuff) threatened to burn down the barn with their horse in. I said I did not want this person coming to my house and then the proceeded to keep bringing them because love and stuff. It was a whole thing and for obvious reasons I can't say all of it. Normally I don't mind people coming but its a private yard and my home so I feel I do have the right to refuse people I don't like coming here, and know who its coming here.
- Not showing up for ages... this is resolved now, but it was in winter and didn't come for ages and I just basically took over all care of the horse for months.
- Borrow my horse without permission... this started of with a really polite request to borrow my old schoolmaster for them to hack out with a friend (who I know, as is a good rider and checked has adequate insurance) and then its turned into other friends etc without my knowledge or permission. I did kick off about this as I did go to ride him one day to find him tacked up with the wrong saddle and someone about to get on him.
- Never brush off or clean tack after borrowing said horse.
- Car parking... even though they have been told by me and my partner hundreds of time not to park outside their stable but in the car park as then it blocks access for everything else, and we have a designated car park that cost a lot to build!!
- Emptying old haylage on fresh bale... right so they fill a huge hay net for their horse which is fine, but they put some much hay in it that the horse can never eat it all and they just keep topping it up, after a few week (yes weeks) the haylage in the bottom of it comes musty and mouldy. Naturally you would put this hay on the muck heap? No, they just go the hay barn and dump it out on the fresh hay so the old mouldy stuff can contaminate the freshly opened new bale
- Leaving wheelbarrows to empty, even though the muck heap (and they barn) or like 20m from the stable (in opposite directions) which make the above point even more infuriating.
- Not throwing poo back on muck trailer (petty I know!)
- Using my (freshly washed) saddlecloth without asking, leaving it dirty, sweaty and covered in hair on tack room table.
- After borrowing my horse leaving its tack put away in the biggest mess, like saddle not put the rack properly and bit filthy and twisted bridle hung upside down I the wrong place. Also my horse was tacked up with his anatomical girth on back to front.
- I think today my 18 year old ex event schoolmaster has been ridden by random beginner? Not sure though.
This is quite literally madness.
You are beyond justified. This is utterly absurd behavior.
I wouldn’t justify myself, I would simply say ‘this arrangement is no longer working for me, and I’ll give you 30 days to find alternative livery for your horse.’
Barklands
Well-Known Member
To be honest having dealt with far too many people like this sometimes it is better to make an excuse as you have suggested and try and get them to leave on happy terms without burning bridges. Some people can turn out to be absolute nutters and will try everything to make your life a misery!
Dave's Mam
Well-Known Member
@dominobrown please make sure someone is with you when it happens & keep your phone recording.
I'm not sure where you are, but if you're stuck, sure one of us might be able to come & be moral supoort.
I'm not sure where you are, but if you're stuck, sure one of us might be able to come & be moral supoort.
adamntitch
Well-Known Member
Am sure it says there is an oh living there as well unless am mistaken
Dave's Mam
Well-Known Member
Yep, but sometimes OHs have to go away for work & stuff.
adamntitch
Well-Known Member
Yeah was more meaning am sure op is not alone but as most of us no there usually not horsie and mostly not a clue lol but I have seen plenty of people not take it well when ask to leave on a few yards I worked on so I would try to make it as stress free for op and non confrontational as possible some people snap and go nuts lol seen a few of them and the threats that come with it no wonder it's a hard task for some yard owners
ycbm
Einstein would be proud of my Insanity...
She's a local person, I'd be worried about the backlash a few weeks down the line when the sheep don't appear.
.
ycbm
Einstein would be proud of my Insanity...
@dominobrown please tell us you did it!
.
.
Jenko109
Well-Known Member
I LOVE this idea.
You could have such fun with it.
Here is a nice idea.
- remove her horse's shoes and get them bent into 666. Hang the 666 on the stable door with 'The devil is hidden in my flesh' written in red paint.
meesha
Well-Known Member
Not read whole thread but I would just say u r closing livery yard, give her notice. If she asks why, just say it's "just one of those things"
If comes crying to say can't find anywhere just say it's sad but closing on X date, hope u can find somewhere ... Don't expand even an inch or try to justify
Few days b4 deadline clear her bags out of other stable and on the morning if not packed and looking like going pack all her stuff to make it easy for her to load into car and have her horses headcollar on.
Just keep saying how sad it is u r closing livery yard. Focus on sad, if asks why ignore the question, say don't want to talk about it as upset... She has nowhere to go with that.
Not sure of her age but might be worth contacting her parents to say how sad it is u r closing !!
Good luck, u r a saint for putting up with it all.
If comes crying to say can't find anywhere just say it's sad but closing on X date, hope u can find somewhere ... Don't expand even an inch or try to justify
Few days b4 deadline clear her bags out of other stable and on the morning if not packed and looking like going pack all her stuff to make it easy for her to load into car and have her horses headcollar on.
Just keep saying how sad it is u r closing livery yard. Focus on sad, if asks why ignore the question, say don't want to talk about it as upset... She has nowhere to go with that.
Not sure of her age but might be worth contacting her parents to say how sad it is u r closing !!
Good luck, u r a saint for putting up with it all.
Cloball
Well-Known Member
Send your horses away (for their safety for a few days) but absolutely act like they are still there. If asked what's going on act like nothing is abnormal... Continue talking to horse, drag lead ropes around.I LOVE this idea.
You could have such fun with it.
Here is a nice idea.
- remove her horse's shoes and get them bent into 666. Hang the 666 on the stable door with 'The devil is hidden in my flesh' written in red paint.
meesha
Well-Known Member
If u r worried about your horses put them in field and padlock the gate, if she queries it just say U r worried about security and you've seen kids hanging around
cauda equina
Well-Known Member
Any news DB?
We are all agog, as you can probably tell
We are all agog, as you can probably tell
Goldie's mum
Well-Known Member
Make sure you have proof of giving her notice, so she can't pretend not to know.
Have a witness present, who is filming while you read the letter aloud to her before handing it over.
Have a witness present, who is filming while you read the letter aloud to her before handing it over.
motherof2beasts!
Well-Known Member
Hoping your ok following letter ?
You are not being petty if I did 1 of the above my yard owner would kick me off immediately, but I wouldn’t dream of it. You have been way too nice, her mental health is no excuse for this behaviour. I have ADHD and would never have the audacity to do these things , ADHD is not about lack of manners and basic respect.
You are not being petty if I did 1 of the above my yard owner would kick me off immediately, but I wouldn’t dream of it. You have been way too nice, her mental health is no excuse for this behaviour. I have ADHD and would never have the audacity to do these things , ADHD is not about lack of manners and basic respect.
dominobrown
Well-Known Member
I haven’t read through all the comments so will on a bit!
Sorry I feel sick but I have done it.
I was very polite and nice etc Etc
There were tears and emotional blackmail… etc etc
Will give a fuller up date soon
Sorry I feel sick but I have done it.
I was very polite and nice etc Etc
There were tears and emotional blackmail… etc etc
Will give a fuller up date soon
FieldOrnaments
Well-Known Member
hope you're ok. huge well done!
ElectricChampagne
Well-Known Member
I hope you're ok! Don't listen to the emotional blackmail or heed crocodile tears.
once this is all over you can breathe a sigh of relief and happily move on with your life, your clean tackroom and your safe horses.
you won't realise how bad things actually were until she's gone, and you'll be grateful she is gone.
stay strong!
nagblagger
Well-Known Member
@dominobrown, well done for doing it and stay strong, we are all here for you if you have a 'wobble'.
Please lock up your own stuff now, even your horses gate - just in case..
Please lock up your own stuff now, even your horses gate - just in case..
ycbm
Einstein would be proud of my Insanity...
paddy555
Well-Known Member
well done, of course there will be tears etc.
don't get involved, try to stand apart from the situation, "repeat that the livery yard is closing, that is it full stop." and then say got to go, things to do etc etc
eventually the other party will realise they are talking to a brick wall but it is going to be hard for you to start with. Tomorrow, once they have had time to think all sorts of excuses will come back. Can your OH deal with them perhaps. Any chink in the armour they will exploit.
start thinking about taking any of your stuff you don't use back into the house, as time goes on take your saddles inside.
blitznbobs
Well-Known Member
Well done I am sure it wasn’t easy - but always remember you are responsible for your mental health and not hers…
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