Cinnamontoast
Fais pas chier!
I’d be more concerned that she just won’t go on the deadline date.
How do I word it... is it justified... is it just a rant?
- Thread starter dominobrown
- Start date
dominobrown
Well-Known Member
Yes I have concern about both!
Again everyone your comments are helpful.
When the emotional blackmail started today I was literally thinking „they said this would happen..“ and it helped a lot.
They pay monthly so it’s a month notice per contract. I think worse case scenario I will get emotional blackmailed until winter then be left with horse. I would hope that is worse case and not actually happen. I could be wrong and I am quite happy to be proven so!
palo1
Well-Known Member
I think you may need to enforce the month's notice very clearly, if need be, putting her belongings outside your locked gateway and either charging for every additional day the horse is on your yard, or serving an abandonment notice. I don't think any emotional blackmail should be tolerated, not even for a day! You could make that intention known too. It's appalling for this person to trade on your good nature and you can be clear with her that you must absolutely stick to the date for insurance/public liability reasons. Stay strong!
little_critter
Well-Known Member
Don’t let it get anywhere near winter!
Be very very clear on the notice period and enforce it.
AmyMay
Situation normal
sunnyone
Well-Known Member
Also try and get an hour of expected departure. I gave notice to the owner of an unbroken and unshod 2 year old French trotter. I thought I was getting stuck with it but the owner turned up at 16.30 on the final day, just with his wife and a car. He attached horse to tow bar and drove off. It would have been dusk that night by 17.15 . Poor horse and so illegal.
ElectricChampagne
Well-Known Member
Unfortunately you are unlikely to be wrong.
Firstly well done for being professional and going through with it.
Secondly, remove anything of value. Maybe keep tack in the house, and securely lock everything else into the tack room or somewhere safe. I'd remove everything belonging to them from your tack room, and leave it outside their stable. Don't give them access to or opportunity to damage or remove anything. If asked, mutter something about the tack room is being used to store items in preparation for the sheep.
With regards to their loose tongue, it reflects on nobody but them. Like your friends have said, people will see through it. It could possibly be why they are on your yard already. Too many burnt bridges at other yards.
It's everyone else's fault obviously!
It's not going to be easy, but hold your composure. You can't control what others do, but you can control your own actions.
Stay strong, stay safe and above all mind yourself.
ElectricChampagne
Well-Known Member
This.
For every day they overstay, £10 more added to their invoice. And create an invoice. Keep copies.
You're unlikely to get payment but it makes the point nicely.
If they try to use emotional blackmail such as oh I'll have to put my horse down. My response would be, oh that's such a shame, but that's your decision I suppose. What a Pity.
If they still push it, let them know that unfortunately you can't permit it to happen on your property.
The sooner she's out, the sooner you can get on with your life.
Goldie's mum
Well-Known Member
Yes be prepared for a potentially pts horse or maybe she will have a death in her family etc.
(My aunt used to do debt collecting in a small town where the same usual suspects were her 'customers' over & over. A dead grandparent was standard. She used to keep a count of them & confront people with how many grandmas they'd had over the years.)
ycbm
Einstein would be proud of my Insanity...
This thought should not even be in your head. If it's in your head it can become a reality.
Not a day later than July 20th. Ask every few days how the search is going. If she's not looking, find a place at grass livery yourself and tell her to go there. If she stops coming up, issue an abandonment notice the next day she doesn't appear after you've texted her to say are you coming today and she doesn't show up. It's a very easy thing to do and will focus her mind.
You've been, forgive me, a bit of a pushover since you closed your yard to liveries and she got round it by being ill. She's going to try the same trick again, it worked so well last time.
Just keep remembering feeling unsafe in your own home and treading in dog shit inside your own tack room.
SaddlePsych'D
Well-Known Member
There's a process for abandoned horses though so get familiarised with that if you're not already and then you don't need to worry so much about that outcome because you'll know what to do already.
If you haven't already, back up what you have said in writing (multiple formats if necessary) and ensure you have a clear final notice date.
Goldie's mum
Well-Known Member
Agree with all of that except I wouldn't find livery for her yourself - it's just a new way of staying responsible for looking after her.
blitznbobs
Well-Known Member
On the day after she should leave put the horse in a field and stick an abandonment notice on the gate. …
ycbm
Einstein would be proud of my Insanity...
I would do it but only if it's clear she isn't looking for herself. I don't know what other option there would be, you can't really tie the horse up outside a locked gate and leave it there if she had nowhere else to take it.
.
ycbm
Einstein would be proud of my Insanity...
And don't accept a penny of livery money after July 20th. If she puts it in your account give it back. Otherwise the horse has not been abandoned.
.
AmyMay
Situation normal
Absolutely all of this.
Goldie's mum
Well-Known Member
You might find this useful..
www.horseandhound.co.uk
A horse has been abandoned on my livery yard. What should I do? - Horse & Hound
When a horse is abandoned on a livery yard, it’s a complex issue to solve. Take a look at this expert advice on the issue
www.horseandhound.co.uk
Highmileagecob
Well-Known Member
Well done for the calm, cool giving of notice. Don't back down, and do start to get a bit angry. You have no responsibility for this person, and she will land on her feet at someone else's yard. Start getting Plan B together to deal with the possibility of her not leaving - I personally would want the horse removing from my property so there is no chance of her showing up to challenge any abandonment. On the other hand, if exchanges with her become heated and tense, then she has taken on board that you mean business. Stand firm! You won't believe how different you will feel when this is all over.
dominobrown
Well-Known Member
Thanks. My OH is very supportive a knows the law etc and how to deal with people with his job etc.
If I get any threatening/ thieving behaviour etc I certainly willig to escalate it.
I do have a clause in the contract about horse abandonment.
If they were here still by winter with me working full time in job etc I think I would go spare! This is the best time of year to make a move, it would be cruel to leave it to October/ November then kick them off. I can see the MH card being involved and family and boyfriends etc etc as well. That will be fun to deal with…
If I get any threatening/ thieving behaviour etc I certainly willig to escalate it.
I do have a clause in the contract about horse abandonment.
If they were here still by winter with me working full time in job etc I think I would go spare! This is the best time of year to make a move, it would be cruel to leave it to October/ November then kick them off. I can see the MH card being involved and family and boyfriends etc etc as well. That will be fun to deal with…
FFAQ
Well-Known Member
Nothing to add to the excellent advice already given. Just wanted to say well done DB! You're doing the right thing and going through this rough patch now will be so worth it in a month's time. Stay strong, we're all behind you!
Clodagh
Well-Known Member
Repeat after me. Winter does not even come into it. August does not come into it. The horse, and all their shit, is gone by end July. Be it in a knackers van or on a horse box.
I’m feeling very strongly about this!
Cinnamontoast
Fais pas chier!
All the more reason not to let her go a day over the deadline. She and her horse are not your responsibility past that day.
paddy555
Well-Known Member
keep focused you are doing well. Remain detached, get your stock answers, no discussion. I am going to clear these stables/store out this week and next Saturday (for eg) a van is coming to remove everything. Anything you want has to go by then otherwise it will be the tip. And do it.
Stop thinking about winter, the notice ends on 20/7. That is it. There is no extension. Absolutely no discussion. If you are dithering even slightly she will see that.
Two weeks before the deadline explain the abandonment procedure, (give her a copy in writing so there can be no doubt). Explain if the horse is still here it will start immediately.
I have found that sometimes when the female is being seen as a pushover then getting t he OH, a male, involved can bring order.
That happened with me in a different situation.. OH took over and suddenly is was like WTF someone actually means this.
Is this a possibility? \
you say they came and parked in an inconvenient place, then make a start now. Point out they have been asked to use t he car park. Please move the car now and mean it and keep repeating until it is shifted. You have to shift the balance as to who is in charge.
Cortez
Tough but Fair
The day you kick them off is 20th July, if they haven’t gone before.
LadyGascoyne
Well-Known Member
I might say that if she’s able to leave earlier, then you’re happy not to enforce the full months notice. For example, if she finds something this week and can move by the end of the month, you would be prepared not to charge her for July livery.
The sooner she is out, the less time you have to stress over all of this
Beausmate
Well-Known Member
This. If you haven't already, I'd add a time to the deadline, so out by noon on that day or she'll be locked out and her junk dumped.
teacups
Well-Known Member
Huge well done from me too! That's Step One done.
(Step Two (and 2a, 2b, 2c, d, etc likely) will be each difficult dealing during the notice period, and Step Three is finally being clear of all liveries and having the yard to yourself : ))
As a fellow non-confrontational person, I agree it's really helpful to have already run through scenarios in my head, and have strategies/phrases ready.
Echo everything everyone else has said. Re the notice, you will have given her a copy in writing, I hope, and even better is if there was someone else with you at the time who could act as witness. Or save the cctv footage of it being handed over. If not done yet then a letter to confirm notice, and make it a month from the date of the letter (or other date as per contract). The end date does need to be as per contract: everyone keeps saying 20th July but in rented housing, say, it would have to be a full rental payment period to be valid - so if it's calendar monthly, paid on 1st of month, your notice must end at the end of the month ie 31st July. But that's a legal requirement and I can't remember re livery contract usual rules.
Possibly you could casually mention with a sad face that as it turns out the extra insurance cost of having a livery yard wasn't even covered by her livery fees, so it's actually been costing you extra money to have her there. It will reinforce the idea that the end date really is the end date.
And close your eyes to the idea of the poor person who takes her on next (that's why I couldn't be going off to find her anything). Word possibly will already spread as all your previous nice liveries must now be dotted about on various yards.
Wherever she goes, she will already know that she'll have to buck up her ideas ('all other livery yards & YOs are horrible' indeed...Ha!) and so I imagine she'll redouble her efforts to make sure she stays on at yours. My bet will be on a supposedly arranged livery place falling through at the last minute (definitely offer not to enforce full month's notice if she can leave earlier), or the dead/dying relative.
(Step Two (and 2a, 2b, 2c, d, etc likely) will be each difficult dealing during the notice period, and Step Three is finally being clear of all liveries and having the yard to yourself : ))
As a fellow non-confrontational person, I agree it's really helpful to have already run through scenarios in my head, and have strategies/phrases ready.
Echo everything everyone else has said. Re the notice, you will have given her a copy in writing, I hope, and even better is if there was someone else with you at the time who could act as witness. Or save the cctv footage of it being handed over. If not done yet then a letter to confirm notice, and make it a month from the date of the letter (or other date as per contract). The end date does need to be as per contract: everyone keeps saying 20th July but in rented housing, say, it would have to be a full rental payment period to be valid - so if it's calendar monthly, paid on 1st of month, your notice must end at the end of the month ie 31st July. But that's a legal requirement and I can't remember re livery contract usual rules.
Possibly you could casually mention with a sad face that as it turns out the extra insurance cost of having a livery yard wasn't even covered by her livery fees, so it's actually been costing you extra money to have her there. It will reinforce the idea that the end date really is the end date.
And close your eyes to the idea of the poor person who takes her on next (that's why I couldn't be going off to find her anything). Word possibly will already spread as all your previous nice liveries must now be dotted about on various yards.
Wherever she goes, she will already know that she'll have to buck up her ideas ('all other livery yards & YOs are horrible' indeed...Ha!) and so I imagine she'll redouble her efforts to make sure she stays on at yours. My bet will be on a supposedly arranged livery place falling through at the last minute (definitely offer not to enforce full month's notice if she can leave earlier), or the dead/dying relative.
Sanversera
Well-Known Member
I'm finding this thread to be incredulous.( Apologies op if it's for real). If this had happened to me that liveries feet wouldn't touch the floor, she'd have been long gone and made to pay for using the extra stable for storage and charged cleaning up after her costs. OP I feel sorry for you,you are a total doormat and being used for a mug. Man up,get shut by the end of the notice period and keep vigilant for any future retribution on the part of the then ex livery.
skinnydipper
Well-Known Member
I think you'll find, if you have read the thread, that the OP has been going through a rough time herself. I doubt she needs to read a post with the tone and content of yours.
Surbie
Well-Known Member
Not really necessary to be quite so abrasive is it?
OP is a longstanding member of the forum, there are several posts about them giving up livery in the past and has unfortunately been wallopped for being a decent human being despite having a load of stuff to deal with themselves.
They've given the offender notice and, in my view, could do with a bit of support through the notice period, not being bashed about by someone who wants to project a vision of toughness.