Issues with confidence

[cauda equina]

I've had horses who would put up with poorly fitting saddles without saying a word and others who were like the princess and the pea!
Hopefully getting your saddle sorted will fix the bucking, and you'll know where to look if it returns

 

[Waxwing]

I obviously can't be sure but we didn't see any bucking in the first six weeks we had her when presumably the saddle was fitting better (we had the saddle fitter out the day after she arrived so I have only ever ridden in a saddle fitted specifically to her) , I certainly feel the bucking was likely to be a combination of the saddle potentially being uncomfortable, her being in season and to0 much spring grass. Prior to the day she did the most significant bucking she had field mates had been moved to a field with very long grass. She has now been moved back off it and since then has been a lot calmer; two of her little herd who would benefit from longer grass are spending some time in there each day but she is. I have asked the saddler to come out again in three months and will look at getting a physio or body worker to check her back as well.

 

[Waxwing]

Sorry meant to say she is not spending any time on the longer grass!

 

[Red-1]

We had the saddle fitter out today; she hasn't changed at all around her withers but had changed a lot around her back as she has developed muscle on her top line. It was a quite a significant change in the twelve weeks we have had her and consequently her saddle wasn't fitting properly; the saddle fitter felt this could have potentially contributed to her bucking if she was feeling uncomfortable in canter. The horse spent half an hour dozing in the sun while the saddle fitter was there, the yard was very quiet this morning and the school was free so I decided to ride, She was very calm and relaxed and to be fair had been the previous three times she was ridden. It felt like I had got the horse back we tried and I enjoyed my twenty minutes on her. She will be remaining on the very bare field she is currently on and is during the day for four to five days a week and apart from some hay when she is in is not having any additional feed. Its still day by day but today was a better day . (I appreciate everyone may have lost the will to live reading my musings but i is helpful to have a space I can get down how I am feeling.)

I must admit the ups and downs that come with this sort of situation was why I said to leave it 6 weeks before even trying to make a decision. I don't believe we are at 6 weeks yet, from when I said that? Time for much learning on all sides and improvement.

Good luck! If you can enjoy riding her, she may well be the one and a winner!

 

[maya2008]

I would give it time now you have a well fitting saddle, and see what happens.

 

[Ceriann]

That’s great news and all credit to you for taking a step back and going through the things that could have changed. Hope you continue to have a calm and sensible new mare you can enjoy.

 

[Waxwing]

Thank you again for all your words of wisdom they are much appreciated. I had a GP appt this morning and have been prescribed some anti anxiety medication, as there a lot of non horse related things going on in my life at present, and I hope this will also help keep my head in a place where I can make considered rather than reactive decisions. I said to to my husband last night that I want to get into a head space where I can enjoy horse ownership for a year and genuinely work out if it something to works for me and us as a family on a longer time basis, rather than omg the horse has misbehaved a bit sales livery here we come.

 

[eahotson]

Thank you again for all your words of wisdom they are much appreciated. I had a GP appt this morning and have been prescribed some anti anxiety medication, as there a lot of non horse related things going on in my life at present, and I hope this will also help keep my head in a place where I can make considered rather than reactive decisions. I said to to my husband last night that I want to get into a head space where I can enjoy horse ownership for a year and genuinely work out if it something to works for me and us as a family on a longer time basis, rather than omg the horse has misbehaved a bit sales livery here we come.

I understand how you feel as I am at a bit of a cross roads myself.

 

[Red-1]

Thank you again for all your words of wisdom they are much appreciated. I had a GP appt this morning and have been prescribed some anti anxiety medication, as there a lot of non horse related things going on in my life at present, and I hope this will also help keep my head in a place where I can make considered rather than reactive decisions. I said to to my husband last night that I want to get into a head space where I can enjoy horse ownership for a year and genuinely work out if it something to works for me and us as a family on a longer time basis, rather than omg the horse has misbehaved a bit sales livery here we come.

I would also have a vitamin D blood test.

 

[Waxwing]

I have had my Vitamin D levels checked twice over the past year; they were low the first time but normal last time. The GP has requested I have some more blood tests so I expect that will be checked again.
Eahotson I hope you find a way forward that works well for you. It's isn't always easy to know what is the "right" thing to do.

 

[eahotson]

I have had my Vitamin D levels checked twice over the past year; they were low the first time but normal last time. The GP has requested I have some more blood tests so I expect that will be checked again.
Eahotson I hope you find a way forward that works well for you. It's isn't always easy to know what is the "right" thing to do.

Thank you.

 

[Waxwing]

I hope no one minds but I am using this thread to remind myself when things go well (for future bumps in the road). I rode twice at the weekend and my daughter once and the horse behaved well on each occasion without even the consideration of a buck. The removal off the better grass and having the saddle checked appeared to have helped. She is having her teeth done on Thursday and I have asked one of their liveries if their physio can have a look at her next time they come. After having our lesson yesterday afternoon I took for a very short solo hack for five minutes; sounds like nothing but considering I didn't want to get on her a week before felt like a positive step forward. She waked calmly past her field mates and didn't respond when one neighed; I felt she was more focused on me than them which was nice.

 

[Clodagh]

Fantastic update.

 

[cauda equina]

That's great progress, well done
I'm sure no one minds a bit, we're all cheering for you

 

[Kunoichi73]

Good for you! Lovely to hear a positive update.

 

[Bobthecob15]

I really applaud you for persevering, my daughter is 8 and we had similar issues with her pony bucking her off. It didn't start for a year or so after we got him...we had everything checked and it was quite intermittent but always towards the end of a lesson when he had decided he'd had enough. The issue with us was her confidence nose dived and I didn't trust him at all...she like your daughter loved him and didn't want to part with him....but was reluctant to do much with him because of it. In the end we made the heartbreaking decision to sell him on...he went to sales livery and sold to a family as a lead rein pony...they knew about the bucking but weren't worried.

We've since bought her another pony and she's like a different child, she is so confident with her, has done more with her in the month we've had her than she did in the past year with the other one. She admitted to me recently she was scared of riding the previous pony but just couldn't say because she loved him so much I am so sad it didn't work out with the previous one but the difference in her confidence is unreal on a new horse. Of course its early days here...it could go pear shaped I did the difficult thing by selling him but for us it was the right thing to do, we basically had 6 months of her being scared to do anything on him and got to the point where she didn't want to sit on him. For me that was it I'm afraid. Riding should be fun otherwise what's the point?

We had the physio, vet, teeth and saddle all checked but it was really a situation where he had had enough and she wasn't brave enough to ride through it...unfortunately. I should also say he was only small so I couldn't ride him myself and we had nobody else small enough to get on him where we were...which didn't help the situation! Bigger pony now and fantastic new yard with other kids and lots of help with riding if we can't which has been a game changer for us too. Sounds like you are able to ride her which is great.

Wishing you lots of luck with yours, it's so hard to know what to do with kids ponies!!! xx

 

[Waxwing]

Thank you for sharing your experiences Trakky14; my daughter is somewhat older but the same principle will apply; if she (and I) don't feel comfortable in the longer term that we can do what we want with the horse we will reconsider. We both enjoyed riding her over the weekend and will see how it goes over the next few weeks; we are now both in a place where we can make a more considered choice rather than omg the horse must go. The horse is actually meant to be my long term horse with her able to ride for the next couple of years as well; but obviously I want her to be able to enjoy riding her and to do get out and about and having a horse.

 

[Waxwing]

More future positive reminders for myself . Despite the very high winds she behaved impeccably when my daughter and I rode this weekend; we both had lessons, my daughter jumped and I actually left the yard for a short hack with a friend. We passed several cars, cows and a horse cantering in the field beside the track and she looked but didn't react adversely to any of them. The horse my friend was riding shied a couple of times but she didn't react to this either. We were only out for twenty minutes but it feels like very positive progress. I spent several hours at the yard over the weekend and I am definitely starting to enjoy having a horse again.

 

[Red-1]

Brilliant! I do hope a simple saddle tweak has fixed it all because it sounds like it has (along with everything else!).

I am very happy for you all.

 

[Bobthecob15]

Wonderful, sounds like things are going much better now! Well done x

 

[mustardsmum]

This is fab news @Waxwing! Long may it last - the more positive memories you build, if you have a blip, you know you can get through it now. You have all these positives to draw on and you now know how to keep your horse manageable. It takes a while to build a partnership, and it’s hard to keep at it when you feel it’s just not working. But you have done so well stepping through each issue - especially when you have a lot of non horsey stuff going on. Menopause can be horrible until you find the right treatment and dealing with MH issues with kids is very hard emotionally (have experienced both these so I can relate). I do hope you have a lovely summer with your daughter and your new horse

 

[Waxwing]

Thank you I sneaked in an unplanned ride yesterday afternoon as I was working near the stables. One of the yard staff had ridden her that morning and I just rode for half an hour but a bit of time on the tracks around the yard and a bit of time in the school really lifted my mood.

 

[Waxwing]

We had our first proper hack out today! An hour walk and trot around the village with a friend; she behaved perfectly and was happy to lead through some road works when my friend's horse was unsure. As well as the roadworks we encountered a range of vehicles, people and bikes and she remained calm throughout. She was more alert when asked to go in front but was willing to do it. I now feel like I am fully enjoying he; since last Sunday we have had two group lessons, a short solo stint in the school followed by some time on the tracks around the stables and a hack today. I am aiming for her to be in work five days a week with two days off. She has remained on a very bare paddock and is maintaining her weight and appropriate energy levels on the grazing available. Currently feeling very happy!

 

[Waxwing]

We had a few weeks away during which time she was kept in work by the yard staff. Since being back I have been out for a group hack and my daughter took rode her in the school yesterday and then took her out for a short solo hack; both without any issues. She was shod while we were away and the farrier was able to she her while was tied up also without any issues. He cold shoes her as it is the smoke associated with hot shoeing she doesn't currently like. Still very happy and enjoying her!

 

[Annagain]

We had a few weeks away during which time she was kept in work by the yard staff. Since being back I have been out for a group hack and my daughter took rode her in the school yesterday and then took her out for a short solo hack; both without any issues. She was shod while we were away and the farrier was able to she her while was tied up also without any issues. He cold shoes her as it is the smoke associated with hot shoeing she doesn't currently like. Still very happy and enjoying her!

Yay, love this! So glad it's all coming good for you all.

 

[Waxwing]

Hello I have posted for a while but wanted to advice of the knowledgeable folks on here

On the plus side .I have been able to go out for walk and trot hacks around the village with her on a regular basis; she will go on her own or in company and is happy to lead or go go behind. No issues with any of the traffic we have encountered; including large lorries in close proximity to us. She is great to handle on the ground and is very settled and happy in her little herd. One of the yard staff schools her a couple of times a week which is great as work is full on at the moment.

However other areas have been going less well. Having seen her put a buck in with my daughter going into canter I started holding her back when asking for canter, resulting in the inevitable outcome of not picking up or maintaining canter and the more this happened the more anxious I became. My instructor suggested taking the pressure off by having lessons on another horse for a few weeks, while me continuing to hack her. The yard staff have continued to school her and she canters fine with them. Earlier this week I rode another horse in a group lesson while one of the instructors rode; she was much more on her toes than usual, possibly due to a significant drop in temperature and put few bucks in over some raised trot poles. The instructor dealt with it and kept her moving forward and she settled. I however felt thoroughly unnerved even though I wasn't the one riding her.

She is not a horse who bucks all the time, the majority of the time she doesn't but if she is excited or lively it is one of the ways she expresses it. She is having her saddle checked every two months as she is changing shape a lot a present and is now having regular sessions with a vetinary physio.

I am not making any definite decisions but I am starting to think she is too much horse for me. My daughter has also been less interested in riding in general this week, although did have a private lesson on her this week which she enjoyed. If she commits to riding on a more regular basis and enjoys it I am happy for it to be predominantly her horse; I can have lessons on something else and take her out for a hack once or twice a week.

How if my daughter doesn't maintain her interest and commitment I will be considering selling her in the spring. I want to give my daughter a few months to decide what she would like to do.

 

[Xmasha]

In your shoes i would sell on. Its an expensive hobby, you should by now be having fun, and not having to ride other horses to feel safe / enjoy it. Youve given her plenty of time.

 

[Annagain]

You know I was in a very similar position with Charlie. Selling him was the hardest thing I've ever done but it was 100% the right thing. Wiggy's just lush, my Mr Perfect and Charlie's doing brilliantly in his new home. I was always a 'home for life' and 'try everything to keep them' advocate before but having gone through it, if I was in that postion again, I would sell. It's too expensive a hobby to not enjoy it.

 

[eahotson]

I suppose it depends on whose horse she is going to be.If she is going to be your daughters horse, you are happy hacking her a couple of times a week and having a lesson on another horse say once a week then fine, carry on.On the other hand, if your daughter is loosing interest then sell her and find something that suits you.

 

[Wishfilly]

It sounds really difficult and I have lots of sympathy. If I'm reading right, your daughter is 16, so I guess she has just started sixth form or college which may impact her time/ability to ride as well? I also wonder if your nervousness and plans to sell may be impacting your daughter- does she feel that if she gets on and has a bad ride there's immediate pressure to sell? If so that's lots of pressure for a teen and would make me not want to ride too!

Would she be happy if you bought a nice steady plod for you, which she could ride now and again? It sounds like you're trying to meet two very different needs with one horse, which does sound tricky. Did your daughter get the chance to do any pony club over the summer?

I would say that a horse you both can hack out alone is worth a lot- there are a lot of horses that can be tricky to hack solo, especially if you are a bit nervous.

Realistically, a good sized horse which your daughter can jump and you can hack out confidently will come with a significant price tag.