It happened again.

[J_sarahd]

Thank you everyone for your stories. I think I feel slightly better about things in terms of what it means for Nova’s future. Although I have told myself that this is the last big treatment she is having. Her little body doesn’t deserve to go through anything else major - especially after the kissing spine and colic too. It might sound heartless, but I’m emotionally and financially spent.

I’m most dreading a) the cost of all of this as, even though I’m insured, my excess is a fair amount and after paying for the excess of the kissing spine and the colic, as well as the 9 weeks in rehab, I don’t know where I’ll find the money tbh as well as the money for diesel, extra bedding and hay and b) the box rest - I live about 25 mins from the yard so going up twice a day for at least 4 weeks is going to be a lot. On top of that, I’m meant to be at Badminton for the full 5 days, which will be about 2 weeks into box rest.

My mind is really going a thousand mph and I’m trying to work (and completely failing right now)

 

[Squeak]

This might be a terrible suggestion as I don't know what treatment you've been recommended but can you just turn her away to give her a chance to heal and reset and yourself a chance to recover too? I think I saw you mention yesterday that you didn't have the facilities to turn away but could you put her somewhere on full grass livery even if it's further away?

 

[J_sarahd]

We’ve been recommended N&F. I would love to just turn her away for a year but I am worried that if turning her away doesn’t fix her then I’ll be out of my claim to then go on to do any treatment to fix it. Plus, my yard has a pretty long waiting list and people never really move on, so if I sent her to grass livery, I wouldn’t be able to afford two sets of livery bills and I’d lose my space.

If I had the land/money, then yes. But then I’d probably also be in a position to get something else too to muck about with haha.

 

[Lucky Snowball]

I’m really sorry you and Nova are going through all this. Could you get help from friends just so that you can have a proper break and enjoy Badminton. Nova might still be a riding horse in the future and if she isn’t then at least you know you did everything possible. Good luck.

 

[J_sarahd]

I’m really sorry you and Nova are going through all this. Could you get help from friends just so that you can have a proper break and enjoy Badminton. Nova might still be a riding horse in the future and if she isn’t then at least you know you did everything possible. Good luck.

Thank you, I think I will because like you said I am in need of a proper break. I’ll wait until my rehab plan and then ask around, especially if there’s bandage changes involved.

I’m hoping she will be one of the success stories but also knowing how wrecked her little body is, I’m preparing myself for the worst

 

[HufflyPuffly]

I went in a different direction, I had an 18 year old been there done it out at PSG diagnosed with PSD and 'some' changes to the back but not clinically significant for a KS diagnosis. Plus a 8 year old, clear on the back but PSD and SI disfunction.

The 18 year old was an easy choice to not do surgery and retire from dressage, we injected her back just in case, she was never lame and is thriving in the hacking life, but we do have good hills so it keeps her fit. She is 22 this year and looks great.

The younger horse the vet wrote off (a whole other story and I wont use that vet again), with her I gave her 6 months field rest, then slowly brought her into work. She's been back hacking two years and has done the odd fun ride and the odd jump, she looks great! However, I think with horses like this they take all your energy, time, money in keeping them on the narrow tightrope of being able to be a functional competition horse, so I made the choice to let her just be a hack. I am tempted these days to see if she could cope with more, but I did buy a baby horse to concentrate on instead.

I hope Nova is one of the success stories for you!

 

[J_sarahd]

The surgery was successful and I should be able to pick her up on Friday. I won’t lie that I’ve been thinking it would be just easier to pts - obviously will see if the surgery works and if it helps her. But I keep saying that this is the last “big” thing I’m putting her through. If she breaks down further - in a few months, a few years, whenever - then I know it’s kinder to her to say goodbye, especially with all her current issues and the fact she is just 5.

Trying to stay positive that I’ll get a few happy years with her doing the stuff we enjoy (within her capabilities, whatever that looks like now) but I’m also not going to be one of these owners who keeps fixing things just because “she’s young”. The last 5 months have already been emotionally (and financially) draining. Like I’ve said before, I’m well aware that she will break down quicker/sooner than a “healthy” 5 year old.

Sorry, it’s still fairly raw

 

[Bernster]

You and she have had to deal with a lot and you’ve gone above and beyond. I hope this works out for you.

As you’ve mentioned it (I didn’t want to be insensitive!) if you get to a point where you don’t think you or she can manage, retirement or PTS are valid choices imo. I had a lovely young mare and spent 3 years on/off trying to get her sound, she had 3 issues, probably linked but they came up at different times. After the 3rd diagnosis, I turned her away for a year. Many moons later, she’s still there (with Aus) and happily retired (mostly) and happy. She just wasn’t up to ridden work.

 

[J_sarahd]

She is back out! The last 5 weeks have been pretty hard. Walking her in hand involved a lot of standing on two legs and I dreaded doing it every day; but I knew it was the best part of her day and she was just wanting to be a horse, so I stuck to it meticulously.

I’m just glad there’s a little bit of pressure off now, for a short while at least.

(She is also in dire need of a bath so praying for a sunny day soon!)

 

[ycbm]

Thank heavens she's a tb and can cope with that grass! I hope you can get a good rest for a little while, you've been under such pressure for too long now.
.

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

View attachment 139998
She is back out! The last 5 weeks have been pretty hard. Walking her in hand involved a lot of standing on two legs and I dreaded doing it every day; but I knew it was the best part of her day and she was just wanting to be a horse, so I stuck to it meticulously.

I’m just glad there’s a little bit of pressure off now, for a short while at least.

(She is also in dire need of a bath so praying for a sunny day soon!)

Great news!

 

[J_sarahd]

Thank heavens she's a tb and can cope with that grass! I hope you can get a good rest for a little while, you've been under such pressure for too long now.
.

Oh I know! If it was any other horse on the yard, they’d NOT be in there as they’re all native types. Unfortunately it was the only field I could section off and put her in as everything else was either occupied or too far away from anyone else. Thankfully we’ve been hand-grazing every day so she’s had grass in her system for a while. Thank you!

 

[ycbm]

Oh I know! If it was any other horse on the yard, they’d NOT be in there as they’re all native types. Unfortunately it was the only field I could section off and put her in as everything else was either occupied or too far away from anyone else. Thankfully we’ve been hand-grazing every day so she’s had grass in her system for a while. Thank you!

I think it's the best bit about TBs, that you so rarely have to worry about good grass. It'll do her the world of good. I hope you get some down time now.
.

 

[J_sarahd]

I could cry (and I did) - but this time happy tears.

Nova was given the all clear to start ridden work this morning and I have a full plan written up ready to execute. I’m very nervous about getting back on her but I have also waited 7 months for this day.

I was fully convinced she was going to be pts this week. I’m also not naive in the fact that she can/will break down very quickly and that we might not even get to reintroducing trot. But, for now, I’m just elated and terrified!

 

[little_critter]

That’s great news. I hope the ridden work goes smoothly with no hiccups

 

[SEL]

Brilliant! So relieved for you.

 

[J_sarahd]

So the saga continues. We have been trotting and she’s been fine with others but I wasn’t satisfied she was happy trotting on her own - I tried to persevere but my saddle fitter took videos today of her in the school (can send to anyone knowledgeable) and I’m just really not happy. If it was just the school, I’d avoid and just hack but the fact she’s not as happy as I’d like out hacking has made me seriously concerned again. It’s not even the not wanting to go forward, she doesn’t look quite right behind and her putting her head up and bracing isn’t going to do her kissing spine any good anyway.

So she is back in the vets next week. I sent the videos to them and as my vet is off today, the other vets suggested to bring her in next week. I really hope it’s something as “simple” as injecting her SI or hocks, which I know is just another plaster over a problem but I’ve fully resigned myself to the idea she will be a happy hacker (if I can keep her comfortable and for as long as I can keep her comfortable).

I feel deflated and like I’m climbing a mountain wearing flip flops but ultimately, I know how this is going to end, whether that’s this week, in the next 6 months or the next 2 years.

ETA: on the plus side, I’m trying a horse tonight to hopefully part loan a couple of days a week to fill the void I’ve been missing.

 

[Bernster]

I’m sorry. Sometines they can be real heartbreakers.

 

[IrishMilo]

So sorry to hear that, the never ending wheel is such a nightmare. Remember that doing what's best for you is never the wrong decision.

 

[ihatework]

J_sarahd is now perhaps the time to close the chequebook and accept Nova just isn’t going to be a ridden horse. Most of us have been there at some point in time, come out the other side and realised it was one big pit of money for not a lot of outcome

 

[Welly Boot]

Sorry to hear this. I am in a similar boat - worse symptoms than before all the surgery, rehab and drugs. I am emotionally and financially drained with the stress of it all. everything crossed for nova

 

[J_sarahd]

J_sarahd is now perhaps the time to close the chequebook and accept Nova just isn’t going to be a ridden horse. Most of us have been there at some point in time, come out the other side and realised it was one big pit of money for not a lot of outcome

I think deep down I know this and completely agree. I always said I’d never be that person who throws endless money at a horse to just paper over the cracks - I see them all over social media and I feel for the horse (and the owner often). And I categorically will not put her through invasive treatment again and I’ll only do “minor” things if there’s a 99% chance she will be comfortable enough to hack - but even that possibility is slipping away. My heart just breaks for her and the “could’ve been”. Well, not really “could’ve” because she was always going to break. She genuinely is the sweetest mare I’ve ever met but, even so, she wouldn’t make a good retired horse unless I threw her out in a big field with a herd but I don’t have the money to do that if I’m ever going to get another.

Equally, I’m ready to hang up my boots. The last 9 months have mentally, emotionally and financially drained me.

 

[Michen]

I’m very sorry . One thing that you could maybe chat with your vet about- systemic steroids? I know they aren’t often prescribed for joint stuff because there’s more risk of lami etc and it’s considered more successful to inject the joint. But I’ve had a lot of success blasting mine with them to help some undiagnosed foot pain and known neck issues. I didn’t want to spend the money injecting things, and he has hock issues too, and the alternative was PTS so I figured it was a cheap way to try and treat and if it didn’t work to give him longer he’d be PTS.

The steroids are less than a hundred quid a month. It may be a way to keep the cheque book a little open if you want to just try a little longer without having to x ray stuff and spend lots of money. I’m not sure how keen vets are to prescribe them but if the alternative is PTS they may be more open. If they make a difference, you could then look to investigate the issue and inject joints or areas further down the line. If they don’t, you know it’s probably pointless to inject joints anyway (my vet reckons they are 80% as successful as direct joint injections but that’s just his opinion).

Especially if the issue is hard to find, at least you know the whole body is being “treated”.

 

[Timelyattraction]

I’m very sorry . One thing that you could maybe chat with your vet about- systemic steroids? I know they aren’t often prescribed for joint stuff because there’s more risk of lami etc and it’s considered more successful to inject the joint. But I’ve had a lot of success blasting mine with them to help some undiagnosed foot pain and known neck issues. I didn’t want to spend the money injecting things, and he has hock issues too, and the alternative was PTS so I figured it was a cheap way to try and treat and if it didn’t work to give him longer he’d be PTS.

The steroids are less than a hundred quid a month. It may be a way to keep the cheque book a little open if you want to just try a little longer without having to x ray stuff and spend lots of money. I’m not sure how keen vets are to prescribe them but if the alternative is PTS they may be more open. If they make a difference, you could then look to investigate the issue and inject joints or areas further down the line. If they don’t, you know it’s probably pointless to inject joints anyway (my vet reckons they are 80% as successful as direct joint injections but that’s just his opinion).

Especially if the issue is hard to find, at least you know the whole body is being “treated”.

If you discuss this route with the vet @J_sarahd please can you let me know what they say as i’d be interested to know as i was never suggested this as an option. Im sorry to hear about Nova i know how heartbreaking it is xxx

 

[FieldOrnaments]

J_sarahd is now perhaps the time to close the chequebook and accept Nova just isn’t going to be a ridden horse. Most of us have been there at some point in time, come out the other side and realised it was one big pit of money for not a lot of outcome

this 100%

been there, done that - and it's actually a lot more enjoyable when you stop stressing about the next thing that needs medicating, the feel of them when riding or working, analysing every. Single. Stride. for subtle lameness, every slight shift of their weight when grooming...honestly it sucks the damn joy out of it all not to mention sucking money down a black hole.

 

[J_sarahd]

I’m very sorry . One thing that you could maybe chat with your vet about- systemic steroids? I know they aren’t often prescribed for joint stuff because there’s more risk of lami etc and it’s considered more successful to inject the joint. But I’ve had a lot of success blasting mine with them to help some undiagnosed foot pain and known neck issues. I didn’t want to spend the money injecting things, and he has hock issues too, and the alternative was PTS so I figured it was a cheap way to try and treat and if it didn’t work to give him longer he’d be PTS.

The steroids are less than a hundred quid a month. It may be a way to keep the cheque book a little open if you want to just try a little longer without having to x ray stuff and spend lots of money. I’m not sure how keen vets are to prescribe them but if the alternative is PTS they may be more open. If they make a difference, you could then look to investigate the issue and inject joints or areas further down the line. If they don’t, you know it’s probably pointless to inject joints anyway (my vet reckons they are 80% as successful as direct joint injections but that’s just his opinion).

Especially if the issue is hard to find, at least you know the whole body is being “treated”.

Thank you! I’ll have a look into them. Hope Bog is doing okay x

 

[J_sarahd]

this 100%

been there, done that - and it's actually a lot more enjoyable when you stop stressing about the next thing that needs medicating, the feel of them when riding or working, analysing every. Single. Stride. for subtle lameness, every slight shift of their weight when grooming...honestly it sucks the damn joy out of it all not to mention sucking money down a black hole.

That’s also what I’m thinking. I think I’m just too scared to admit that she isn’t suited to the ridden life

 

[ycbm]

That’s also what I’m thinking. I think I’m just too scared to admit that she isn’t suited to the ridden life

So so sorry Sarah, but it wasn't you who broke her. I hope you find a way forward that you're settled with.
.

 

[J_sarahd]

So so sorry Sarah, but it wasn't you who broke her. I hope you find a way forward that you're settled with.
.

Thank you. I’m trying to find solace in the fact that I’ve given everything I have. I’ve listened to her and picked up on things that a lot of people probably would’ve missed or dismissed as “sassy young thoroughbred mare” behaviour. I made some mistakes, especially in the beginning, but I really have given her my all. I’m giving her this week off of ridden work and will probably just do groundwork. Whatever the outcome on Friday is, I know that I genuinely have (and will) put her first.

 

[Lucky Snowball]

I’m sorry to read your updates. I hope the vet finds something straight forward which can be fixed. Everything crossed for you both.