Most stupid horsey thing you've ever said, asked, done etc.!!!

[dreamcometrue]

Rode my horse on a 3.7 mile hack with my phone charger trapped between the saddle and the numnah! It must have lodged there when I chucked it in the boot of my car. I only noticed as we neared home and I saw the plug dangling down her side. She’s such a sweetie, she never complained 😂

 

[CMcC]

I still can’t put a bridle together properly (good excuse for not taking apart to clean). Noseband gets attached to cheek pieces and bit goes in upside down.
Also when I am putting on half chaps I can never work out which one goes on which leg without putting it on and 50% chance it is on the wrong leg.

 

[DD]

Said to my instructor “ xxx is not feeling right today” as I warmed up in school.
Instructor replied “ Putting the bit in her mouth might help a little”
There is always a new mistake to make.

bloody brilliant

 

[elliejhb]

I've dyed my grey boy various colours on more than one occasion when washing. NAF in his skin was the best, pink pony for weeks! Good thing he doesn't leave the yard!

 

[DD]

must be too many to mention but one recurring one stands out. when i was a teenager and had a 14.2 show pony type who was pretty flighty I used to regulaly take her into the front garden via the wrought iron little garden gate with sticking out hook, down the very narrow passageway into the back garden via a grid sticking out. unbelievable, panics me now thinking what could have happened, stifle ripped out on the hook, damaged fetlocks on the grid anything like that. I also once tethered her to a tree on the school playing field at the back of the house and went in for a cuppa, after all that's what cowboys and gypsies do so it must be ok. came out to find her lay down on the rope and choking to death as she couldn't get her head up or move I think it was wrapped around her legs too. had to rush in and get dads seceturers to cut the rope. horse was 2 or 3 yrs old at this point i'd been bought an unbacked youngster to bring on at age 13 with next to no experience. however things improved and we had 25 great years together thankfully. I think this confession might win the red rosette for the most stupid horse owner on the forum. (maybe).

 

[AmyMay]

Oh, I’ve constantly surprised myself at my own stupidity (especially as I know everything 😉🤔😏)

Did once have a conversation about a mare that unbeknown to me was pregnant. ‘She’s in uetro’ I was told. ‘Is that in Cornwall?’ I responded 😲😆😱

 

[Green Bean]

I was late for my first dressage test in a very long time (decades) as my horse wouldn’t load. Arrived with only minutes to spare, tacked up, realised there was no mounting block so daughter gave my leg a lift which didn’t go so well so spent a lot of time trying to wriggle up, only to find when finally up (with others watching) I hadn’t taken my over-jodhpurs trousers off so had to dismount and start again!

 

[rabatsa]

As a teenager I tied my pony up to the drainpipe on the house by its reins. This resulted in a broken bridle and a detached down spout following my pony across the lawn.

 

[KittenInTheTree]

I'd just mounted, and was in the middle of adjusting my stirrups. Horse decided to walk off. For some reason, I decided that the best coarse of action here was to drop the reins and grab hold of the arena fence. Needless to say, this did nothing to halt horse, who continued to walk forwards and out from under me, leaving me hanging from the fence. I had more than twenty years worth of experience at the time too, so no excuse for it whatsoever - I still can't fathom what I was thinking!

 

[luckyoldme]

I once yold the farrier to give me a ring if ever he fancied a ride...in front of an audience.
Not horsey but by far my favourite was in a restraunt when the waiter said the chef wanted to know if i wanted my sausage battered. I replied ..tell him to kick the $/#@ out of it if it makes him feel better!

 

[Auslander]

I got very worried about a horse who was putting his head down to eat, then jerking it up as his head got to knee height.
Luckily I noticed the hole in the hose that was squirting him in the face before I called the vet - who is a good friend, and would never ever let me live it down if I'd got her out!

I also got dumped by a riding school pony, whilst teaching a class of teenagers - and it was completely my own fault for being complacent!

 

[Courbette]

I went out on a hack with my reins crossed under the horses neck. Thankfully didn’t get far but it did puzzle me why she kept flexing her head the opposite side that I was asking.

My friend borrowed a lovely little cob to take her novice daughter out on. He was very quiet and well mannered. The next time she borrowed him he was very forward and cheeky. She couldn’t understand it until she realised there were two very similar cobs on the yard. We’ll never know for sure but she is convinced she took the wrong horse out!

 

[Lammy]

Hahahaha oh crap another one...

Rode over a mile out on a hack and it wasn't until I was in the middle of the village looking at our shadow on a wall that I realised I didn't have my hat on!!

I have done exactly this. I was riding my mare out thinking what a lovely day it was and what a nice breeze that was on my head...breeze on my head?!
Panic call to mum to meet me at my nans with my spare hat 😂 wasn’t worried about pony ditching me (we’d already had a few Welsh spooks) more worried people would think I was an idiot!

 

[Slightlyconfused]

Hahahaha oh crap another one...

Rode over a mile out on a hack and it wasn't until I was in the middle of the village looking at our shadow on a wall that I realised I didn't have my hat on!!

Oh I did that.......i couldn't work out why my head was cold ❄️😂

I have also forgotten to check the girth up before I mounted and ended up on the floor with the saddle under the horses belly and the horses looking at me like the idiot I was 😳😳

 

[ycbm]

We have all hit ourselves with a lunge whip at some point right?

I hit a member of my staff and left a huge weal down her back! It was a fancy dress day at work and we were just mucking about, but I really hurt her 😲



I once sprayed silicon detangler into a mane and then tried to plait it 🤣

.

 

[ihatework]

I did a corker once ...
Breaking in my 3yo, at the time the yard I was on didn’t have a school so I was using the flattest paddock to work in (which happened to be my horses turnout paddock).

Worked the horse in long lines.

Decided I may as well untack and just leave horse in paddock.

In middle of paddock bits and bobs removed, bridle removed and then I just looked at my horse stood in the middle of the paddock with nothing but his saddle on 🙈 as I crept quietly towards his side making ‘and stand’ noises 🤭

 

[Myloubylou]

Not me but a sharer of someone else’s horse brought my horse in & started to tack up her up to ride. Both bay mares in the same field but mine a hand bigger with no star! Fortunately someone pointed out her error

 

[Elf On A Shelf]

I gave myself slight concussion with a Horse Walker.

It was an icy morning so I turned it on to make sure it wasn't frozen stuck before I put a horse on it. Perfectly normal. I spotted a patch of ice in the doorway so I went and fetched a scoop of salt. Leant in the doorway to spread the salt ... DOOF! DOOF! DOOF! And I was curled up on the floor not knowing whether to cry from pain or laughter! I hadn't turned the walker off you see so my head got battered by a moving paddle, off the door frame and back off the paddle! It's a damned good job it was the back walker that has the swinging mesh and rubber paddles and not the front walker which is 2 massive solid frame ones! The yard lads found me curled up in hysterics on the floor and then joined my laughter when I explained what I had done. All the while the walker is still spinning round and round empty 😂😂😂

I couldn't ride for 4 or 5 days because I couldn't put my hat on courtesy of 2 GIANT lumps on either side of my head!

2 weeks after that - on another bloomin Sunday! I walked across the drain at the edge of the back yard whilst talking to someone and promptly disappeared down it!

 

[AShetlandBitMeOnce]

I had a small battle with my old boy (who stood around 18hh) and the wormer.. Upon finally succeeding I threw my head back in laughter at the sulky look on his face.. Just as a dribbled most of it back into my mouth.

 

[ihatework]

I had a small battle with my old boy (who stood around 18hh) and the wormer.. Upon finally succeeding I threw my head back in laughter at the sulky look on his face.. Just as a dribbled most of it back into my mouth.

OMG that just reminded me of a corker!! Thankfully the ‘incident’ happened to my friend not me!

Doing stud work and a dummy collection. I was on the stallion, she was on the AV. Stallion slid off dummy at the ‘climax’ slipped out of AV and sprayed across friends face/into mouth 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

 

[LaurenBay]

When I was a young teen and sharing a Fell pony. I had returned from a hack, un tacked and prepped the ponies stable for the night. Mum picked me up, and 25 minutes later I was home. About half hour later and I remembered I had a bad feeling I had forgotten something, I was couldn't remember putting the pony back in his stable. I made some panicked phone calls and luckily someone I knew had just got there and confirmed pony was still stood on the yard tied up. Opps

 

[Rumtytum]

When I commented to instructor that the reins of ‘my’ riding school horse had been changed she said one of the trainees must have put the wrong ones on. Ten minutes later we realised it was some other (much bigger) horse’s bridle... ‘my’ poor angel had been physically holding the bit in his mouth to stop it dropping out.

 

[Rumtytum]

OMG that just reminded me of a corker!! Thankfully the ‘incident’ happened to my friend not me!

Doing stud work and a dummy collection. I was on the stallion, she was on the AV. Stallion slid off dummy at the ‘climax’ slipped out of AV and sprayed across friends face/into mouth 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

That is truly gross 😱😱😱

 

[BOWS28]

Was walking to the field leading a horse in each hand. Got to the field and took mollies head collar off before i realised that the lead rope in my other hand was in actual fact, not attached to said other pony. She had come unclipped at the top of the hill and was grazing happily. I did wonder why Mollie kept turning round as if i'd forgotten something just to add, i had just done on and off night checks for a colicy horse i was looking after... so VERY tired........

 

[Ambers Echo]

Too many to list! I am the ultimate tack dork so if there is a way of putting something on wrong, I've done it.
I once did an entire schooling session with crossed reins.

But the most embarrassing was that I thought all ponies peed on a whistle command (because the race horses I used to ride had been trained to wee in buckets on command) so I stood in the stable with my new pony whistling at him, bucket at the ready, wondering why he was taking so long.

 

[3OldPonies]

Went on a corporate team-building thingy. You can ride, they said, show the others how to mount. Would have been perfect if I'd checked the girth . . . One of those moments when you want the ground to open up followed 😂😂

 

[Stiff Knees]

I used to ride a friends horse and the only way out from the paddock at the back of the house was through the back garden, around the side of the house and onto the driveway. After a hack one day I came back to find that the low gate at the side of the house had been locked by the window cleaner. No problem I thought, we'll jump it, we trotted down the drive, turned around, trotted up to gate, few strides of canter, then on take off I spotted that the clothes line had been strung between the hedge and the gable of the house, we landed with me receiving a very nasty rope type burn to my throat and the force of the impact knocked me off backwards. I am sure the horse rolled her eyes. I wore scarves for weeks as the burn looked exactly like a long line of love bites around the front of my neck. 😱

 

[meleeka]

I left the gate open to the drive when the vet came once. My Welsh mare came sauntering past and I did a double take. It had to be the one that was impossible to catch! I gave the pony I was holding to the vet and proceeded to catch the pony by leaping at her and wresting her to a stop. I was mortified but felt slightly better when the vet was very impressed with my catching skills.

Another one. I forgot my gate keys when going out on a hack so thought it a good idea while I went and found keys, to tie the pony to the fence in the adjoining field that wasn’t fenced. Of course pony pulled back and the whole bridle came off! I was in my field by this time so had to retrieve keys in a panic and then run to retrieve pony!

 

[windand rain]

Years ago when it was very rare to see one I walked up to a young girl and advised her to get a vet to treat her horses scabby face. A 13year old lookalike scowled at me and said I am the vet.
I once mounted my pony mare holding the lead to my daughters pony my pony stepped towards me and I ended up in a heap the otherside still holding both ponies. I dont think I could have done it again if I tried.
The lass that hacks out the old girl was moaning that she had been naughty not wanting to turn, stop or behaving normally She was out with a very experienced friend for over 2 hours and neither noticed they had got her reins crossed under her chin when they put her bridle on.

 

[Mule]

I once yold the farrier to give me a ring if ever he fancied a ride...in front of an audience.
Not horsey but by far my favourite was in a restraunt when the waiter said the chef wanted to know if i wanted my sausage battered. I replied ..tell him to kick the $/#@ out of it if it makes him feel better!

🤣