Most stupid horsey thing you've ever said, asked, done etc.!!!

[SEL]

Put foot in stirrup to mount small fat pony, had not done girth up. Offside stirrup flew over and cracked me just above my eye. Fabulous black eye and cancellation of work's 'photos for website' session because there was no way that was going to be hidden under make-up.

Being distracted getting horses in and letting the entire herd of 40 out at 7am. I had to get the YO out of bed to help and it was a loooong time until he let me forget that one.

We used to have a tie up line with scaffold poles down it. I've rugged a horse to those scaffold poles more times than I can count.

Lining all the feed buckets with breakfast neatly outside the pony barn one evening ready for the next morning. Forgot that an Ardennes had longer reach than small welsh ponies, forgot that he was in pony barn out of the rain. I don't know what time he ate 10 breakfasts but he was very miffed when he only got a small portion the next day.

There will be more...............

(this is a great read )

 

[Chinchilla]

Being distracted getting horses in and letting the entire herd of 40 out at 7am. I had to get the YO out of bed to help and it was a loooong time until he let me forget that one.

(this is a great read )

Not at your current place!?
First time I went there I put tendon boots on the wrong way round....'experienced' pffffftttt maybe not.

 

[Fransurrey]

How long have you got???

Once decided to pick up a plastic bag with my crop whilst mounted. Pony shot sideways and I landed on my shoulder. Tore the rotator cuff .

I enquired somewhere online about my horse's eye. I'd noticed it looked odd, like there was something in it. Turned out I was describing the corpora nigra...

Completed a whole hack with reins crossed under neck.
Likewise with girth hanging loose under belly (I used to mount by cocking leg over from a wall).

Left pony tied up and nearly drove home.

Tried to lead coblet away from shelter and thought he was being a git by not moving. Turned out I hadn't unclipped lead rope.

 

[elliejhb]

Thought of another, brought my 2 in from the field together and tied the old boy outside his stable while I popped the mare in hers. Next thing I knew he'd rubbed his face on his stable door and got his grazing muzzle stuck on the latch. Before I could get to him he'd lift the door off the hinges and stood there with it hanging off his face! Thankfully he was quite calm (think more from shock than anything else!)

 

[Peter7917]

When I was a horseless, enthusiastic child, I offered to put someones horses rug on for them as they were busy riding another. They came back and gave it an odd look before telling me I had put it on inside out! I did wonder why all the buckles were so awkward!

Worst one was when a friend had asked myself and another friend to feed her pony for her. I had literally just got my first part loan pony so was very novice with feeding. I started putting unsoaked sugar beet in a bucket ready top feed, luckily the other friend had her own pony already and knew about feed and was able to stop me before I killed her horse. Scary.

 

[SEL]

Not at your current place!?
First time I went there I put tendon boots on the wrong way round....'experienced' pffffftttt maybe not.

Nooo - I only lose my own horses there More than once, which is slightly embarrassing. Mr M may look like butter doesn't melt, but when he wants to go somewhere he just tends to go - usually with me running along behind shouting whoa loudly and being completely ignored.

I had an old livery friend who had groomed for some Big Names and she often put boots on wrong so I wouldn't worry about that. I used to look and think it looked odd but it was me who was wrong - it was hardly going to be the professional - and then she'd do a double take and go oh f*** and change around whatever she'd done. Made me feel better about being a regular non-professional numpty.

 

[McFluff]

There are some amazing calm horses out there.
I've done the crossed reins thingy - very confusing until you realise what you have done
And I've done the not checking the girth and sliding under the horse still in the saddle
I've also managed to release a very naughty pony in a show-ground by accidently undoing the wrong buckle - which took him 0.1s to realise and bog-off...took AGES to catch the wee monkey (in my defense I was only 14 at the time)
And I won't buy rugs with leg straps for fear of actually damaging me or horse one day - I just can't seem to remember to undo them.

I didn't realise that it was possible to bridle up and miss the bit, until my friend did this the other day. We all got a good chuckle that day as it took a while to notice!

 

[Peter7917]

A fairly recent one. Left my horse grazing the footpath (not public) and took the pony out riding. Came back and forgot I had left the horse on the footpath. I left the gate open thinking I was just going to chuck the pony in the field and go. Got round the corner to see the horse grazing who promptly trotted past me, broke into a gallop and took himself out the gate. Luckily he is quite sensible and brought himself back after a brief interval!

 

[Rumtytum]

Love this thread, am choking myself at some of the stuff, not laughing at but with you posters, great to find out even really experienced horse owners/riders can do very odd things. It’s also strangely reassuring!

 

[Caol Ila]

When I got my first horse, on my very first ride, ever, that wasn't a lesson, I swung my leg over the saddle while mounting and launched myself into the ground on the other side of the horse. Not an impressive start to horse ownership.

When I tack up Gypsum, I usually leave her stable door open and horse unsecured. This is usually fine. Usually. My friend with the gelding in the neighbouring stable asked me to come look at something on him. I did, but leaving my horse's door open. While looking at the gelding, I saw something big and dark float past the stable. Gypsum making her escape. As soon as I popped out of the stable, she picked up a trot, heading out the barn door and straight to the YO's backyard, where she stopped, peering over the fence into their garden. I sheepishly caught her, hoping the YOs were nowhere near their back window.

A fellow boarder at my barn back in the US once tied her horse to a plastic lawn chair. That went as well as you can expect, with horse running, chased by plastic lawn chair.

 

[TotalMadgeness]

I drove 100's of miles down to a dealer's yard to pick up a connemara gelding I'd bought. Turned up and one of the staff had brought the pony in from the field to get him ready for travel... I had to point out errrr this isn't him this is a mare... And not a connemara... (although to be fair they were the same height and colouring!).

 

[Romeorider]

Fabulous stories thank you! Working away for a day so asked OH to go to horse's field to check hay and water. Complete fail - he went to yard, took the highly strung bay mare (mine's a much smaller gelding) up to the field and luckily mine was at the top end so he realised his mistake, turned her around and took her back to her box. Three people told him that it wasn't his horse as he walked by and the mare's owner says she will never work out how he got her back without a disaster!! He takes notes now....

 

[On the Hoof]

Wondered why my pony was reluctant to walk out of his stable for a lunging session. Even set the lunge whip down, in case it had suddenly turned into Medusa.

His headcollar was still fastened round his neck.

Been there, done that , got the T shirt

 

[On the Hoof]

Lost count of the times I have tried to remove pony's rug without undoing the leg straps , in end I cut them all off and used fillet strings instead.

 

[tiahatti]

Love this thread. I have so many embarrassing moments that I could tell you about. Many years ago ou horses were kept in a field that had a ridiculously muddy, wet and boggy gateway. I was coming back from the field & slipped into the mud. I fell flat on my face. Every time I got up I slipped over again. I just couldn't stand without slipping! This went on for a few minutes and I eventually crawled to the gate. My daughter was literally crying with laughter. I staggered back to the yard looking like a demented mud monster. I was covered head to toe, mud all over my face and hair.

 

[Snowfilly]

Too many to list!!

I've vaulted over a horse and landed on the other side, and turned small children into projectile missiles over ponies' backs at gymkhanas.

I plaited my heavies's mane braids around his head collar and then got confused when I couldn't remove it to replace with the show halter.

I got swept off backwards by a tree while cantering bareback and watched my beast disappear around the corner as I landed standing up.

I jumped up onto a youngster from a muck heap and left a boot in the heap.

Called the vet in a panic about a horse with blood all around her mouth, and forelegs, and chest. It was blackberry season and the mare was greedy and clumsy.

Dyed a buckskin mare black by oiling her new bridle and reins, and then turning my dandy brush black trying to remove it.

And although it was the horse being stupid, I burst into tears when arriving at the yard and seeing my Mum's pony standing three legs, with a foreleg dangling at a horrible twisted angle. He saw me, limped a couple of steps as I lept the gate and sprinted across the car park...in time to see him reach round and start scratching the back of his elbow again. Quickest broken leg recovery ever!

 

[Pippity]

I was riding for about five minutes before somebody gently pointed out that my girth was still hanging over the stable door. Benefits of a horse with shark fin withers, a well-fitted saddle, and a very high mounting block!

 

[On the Hoof]

I was riding for about five minutes before somebody gently pointed out that my girth was still hanging over the stable door. Benefits of a horse with shark fin withers, a well-fitted saddle, and a very high mounting block!

And a very well balanced rider!

 

[Pippity]

And a very well balanced rider!

That was sheer fluke! My wonkinesses must have cancelled each other out that day.

 

[mini_b]

Such a good thread 😂

I was riding my bike the very short distance to the field I kept her in with the head collar bucked up over my shoulder and the lead rope twisted and tied up.
I have no idea how it came undone but it threaded through the front forks of my bike over the wheel and promptly slammed the brakes on and I flipped over the handle bars.

Skinned all of my elbow and so very, very winded. I have photos of us with my lovely big dirty dressing on for the majority of that summer 😂

Good job I wasn’t riding my bike and leading her, I used to think was a good idea.

 

[Stiff Knees]

When I was about 7 years old, the very spoiled child who lived at a pub down the road got a Shetland pony, it was kept in the beer garden behind the pub and the L Shaped beer garden bordered our own garden at the very furthest point from our house. My sister and me thought that the girl did not deserve the Pony, we were pony mad, she was not, so we decided to steal it by snipping through the green plastic chain link fence between the two gardens. It took us about 3 weeks each night after school, with just a rusty old pair of garden secateurs. We then led the pony through the gap in the fence, tied up the hole with string and made him comfortable for the night with water and some grass we had pulled from the overgrown allotment at the other side of our garden wall. We fed and watered him, groomed him and took good care of him. I remember that we even fenced off the grass clippings on the compost heap because we'd read enough pony books to know that would be deangerous for him to eat. It was a full 3 days before it was noticed that the pony was missing and we had to own up to having "borrowed him". The girl had told her parents that she was checking on the pony every day and when they found out that she had been lying to them they got rid of the pony. The parents were apparently quite impressed with our ingenuity, and asked my parents not to punish us, and told us that it had taught their daughter a valuable lesson. I think perhaps they learned a lesson or two themselves.

 

[caileag]

I don't know how many times I've locked myself in a stable. Damn kick bolts!

 

[Gloi]

I don't know how many times I've locked myself in a stable. Damn kick bolts!

Same here I also got trapped in a stable once when I kept pony on a farm and I didn't know one day that the guard dog was loose and it was guarding the stable growling at me every time I looked over the door.

 

[rowan666]

Mounted one side and fell straight off the other! Also once fell off in walk the same ex racer I'd managed to stay on board when bolted with bare back the previous week! I was sober and not exactly a novice. No excuse, no idea how, deeply embarrassing!

 

[Tihamandturkey]

I’ve done that 😲😞😕

A friend once tied her horse to a wheely bin. It brought a whole new meaning to the sport of chariot racing!!

Oh thank you - that makes me feel better 🤗

Oh Lord a wheelie bin 🙈

 

[fiwen30]

Hacked out with the reins twisted up in the throatlatch, still not sure how we survived.

Forgot to check girth before cantering an open field, and slowly dropped out the side-door.

First ever time doing ‘stable jobs’, I was asked to rug a horse and put it in backwards - fillet string around chest, bucked up around it’s bum!

 

[Baywonder]

I explained to one of my old bosses that I could not attend a week long residential course as I had no-one at all to feed / turn out my horse whilst I was away. He looked at me and said "Do you have to feed it every day?" I gave him one of those looks and asked him "Well, do you feed your children every day?"

The conversation ended there, and needless to say I did not attend the said course!

 

[Chianti]

I still can’t put a bridle together properly (good excuse for not taking apart to clean). Noseband gets attached to cheek pieces and bit goes in upside down.
Also when I am putting on half chaps I can never work out which one goes on which leg without putting it on and 50% chance it is on the wrong leg.

I'm the same with chaps - been wearing them for years and I still have to stop and think. I also still struggle to put on a head collar - regularly failing to throw the strap over pony's neck.

 

[mini_b]

I'm the same with chaps - been wearing them for years and I still have to stop and think. I also still struggle to put on a head collar - regularly failing to throw the strap over pony's neck.

I do this with chaps too 🙈

 

[JFTDWS]

What haven't I done?

I've run barrels without doing my girth up (could literally fit both hands in there as fists, and my mare has lethal turns). I've mounted a pony bareback by getting it to kneel down, and inelegantly fallen face first off the other side. I've hit myself in my face with my own polocrosse racquet at training. I've failed to do my girth up at horseball and gone to pick the ball up from the floor - saddle slipped I was stuck in no-mans-land hanging underneath him. I've ridden out with my reins crossed and not noticed for an entire hack - she neck reins good

The stupidest was probably jumping xc fences (unfixed portables, before they were something to worry about) in the dark, bareback, no bridle, no hat, not even a neck rope. That was a very long time ago though. I wouldn't do that now