Roll up! Roll up!! Get the answer you're looking for RIGHT here. NO problem too big..

Thank goodness I found this thread again because I have a small problem....

Do you think roast pony shank goes with onion gravy??? Only people have started talking about eating their ponies and I figure if I could fatten up my tb in time for xmas, it would be wise to look up some recipes......
 
digger66 said:
I need a pearly matchy matchy set (for the Olympics next year). How many HHO peeps will I require to sew pearly buttons on a numnah, rug, my jacket and hat cover in time for the opening ceremony? Will I need to glue them on the lorry?:D
Oh and will the lifts be working in the Greenwich foot tunnel in time or will I have to train my ponio to go down and up the stairs?:cool:
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I'm sorry for my delay in replying. It was because my head exploded :p
In order to get your matchy done in time you will need all the dressage divas on HHO to help sew and stick pearly buttons on your lorry. The SJers and Eventers won't be any help at all although they can probably be counted on to point and laugh.
Good luck with the stairs!! :D
 
tallyhohoho said:
Thank goodness I found this thread again because I have a small problem....

Do you think roast pony shank goes with onion gravy??? Only people have started talking about eating their ponies and I figure if I could fatten up my tb in time for xmas, it would be wise to look up some recipes......
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Yummm, onion gravy sounds perfect. Lots of thyme or rosemary I think would go well. Don't forget the potatoes and brussels sprouts. Get feeding up now!! Will take AGES to get your TB fat enough. :p
 
PapaFrita said:
Or too small...
No need to bother with 'experts' that might not tell you what you want to hear, or, God forbid, charge you for the priviledge of their many many years of experience. I have an innate understanding of exactly what you need to hear to assuage any creeping feeling of doubt or guilt.

Here's a question I received earlier;

"Dear PF,
I've got a 20 year-old mare whom I've owned for 16 years. She's jumped grade A and produced several wonderful foals. I now think she's getting on a bit; a bit creaky and her supplements cost a bomb. I don't want to have to fork out for her to end her days peacefully in a field, loved and pampered, rewarded for many years of service. Can I sell her on as a broodie? I think someone can squeeze a couple of foals out of her and then I can make a bit of money on her and not have to be out of pocket for her retirement.

I'manidiot"


Dear I'manidiot
Yes, of course you should sell her on. There is absolutely no reason why you shouldn't make a few bob after all the money you've spent on her over the years. Vaccinations, shoes, worming, hay/feed, rugs, tack... all add up over the years and if she ends up with someone who doesn't want to fork out for veteran care and she ends up in neglected, abused or starved and she gets traced back to you, you can always write a book about what a wonderful horse she was and how you love her so much.
Result!!


Another letter from a concerned onwer;

"Dear PF,
My 17hh gelding has recurrent lameness issues, in fact he hasn't been sound for over a year. The vet says he should have scans, but I haven't got insurance and can't afford it. Also he's getting thin and I I'm a bit worried about my feed bill over the winter. What can I do? I don't want to sell him as he's lame, can he go as a companion?

Shouldn'townahorse"



Dear Should'ntownahorse
Yes, of course he can. No matter that small, young ponies that live on air are going for pennies at market, SOMEONE will want to take on your huge poor-doer as a companion and won't mind paying for the extra feed and rugs he'll need coming into winter. I know some people will tell you that some unscrupulous people will bute him up and sell him on before you even have time to blow your nose and wipe that single tear off your cheek, but don't listen to them. That hardly EVER happens.



One more;

"Dear PF
My mare rushes fences with her head in the air. The fences are about 20cms. She's been like this for 4 years (was like this with her previous owner) and her only speed is warp. What can I do to slow her down? Can I use draw-reins? I've been riding for 2 weeks and can almost do rising trot.

Speeddemon"

Dear Speeddemon
Yes, definitely use draw reins and also the strongest bit you can find; a pelham with just one rein (bottom ring!) should do the trick. If you can put it on upside down, it's even more effective. Don't forget to strap her mouth shut with a flash or grakle, fitted just above the nostrils and use a standing martingale. Attach the martingale to the flash (bottom strap) for maximum effect.




Last one for now;

"Dear PF,
I've got a 15 year-old mare who is unsound and dangerous. Her previous owner was a very experienced rider who had taken her on as a project she but gave up when the mare bolted into traffic and threw her into the path of a car, breaking both legs, 4 ribs, her collarbone and sustaining a hairline fracture of the skull. She has to be stabled because she jumps out of every field she's in and is costing me a fortune in fence repairs and boredom toys. She's got no papers and has never so much as caught a glimpse of a showground but she can obviously jump, right? Should I breed from her?

WTFamIthinking"



Dear WTFamIthinking,
Yes! Definitely breed from her. I'm sure you could make a few bob from a foal. Since she's not got any papers herself, I wouldn't bother getting a registered stallion. Just get a coloured stally as coloureds are very popular at the moment!! I know established breeders are struggling to sell beautiful, well-mannered, papered youngstock at the moment, but clearly your mare is SUPER talented and you'll sell the foal easily. Don't worry about her temperament; anyone who knows about horses will overlook the 'quirkiness' in favour of the super-talent your foal will inevitably have, and he might not inherit the soundness issues, so I wouldn't worry about that either.
Also, although breeding CAN be expensive, if you find a young, unregistered stallion it'll cost almost nothing at all and there's no need for scans or the vet during pregnancy or foaling; She'll pop it out no worries at all.


Anyone wanting advice need only ask :) Satisfaction guaranteed
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Brilliant PF just brilliant, I love them and in many cases they are so true are they not?
 
Christmas_Fairy said:
I all need your help :p I really think the pony I ride (shetland) should be jumping 1m30tracks but my instructor said this is too big, surely that isn't right as they would jump higher than that in the wild
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You're right. Your instructor is holding you back. Probably jealous. Get some lessons with a decent instructor, or better stilll, get my DVDs; How to Jump Your Height, 1-15. Only £25,050.
 
My horse, is so bloody rude!!

Are there any horsemanship exercises I can do to curtail his constant swearing?
 
Dear PF,

My mare is costing me a fortune in shoes.I was thinking of asking the farrier to put 2 shoes on each hoof next time,so that they won't wear down as quickly.It'll be sure to be cheaper don't you think?
 
Lovely to see this thread ressurected! It has made my day.

Anyway, dear PF

I can't ride my horse just now as she is recovering from a virus. Should I eat her instead? I have finished all my xmas chocs and can't afford to go to the supermarket. She is not on any meds and is lovely and plump.
Many thanks

Mrs Fatty, Glasgow
 
Dear PF,

I have been following a thread for a while now but I'm still no closer to knowing. Why DO people want to own cobs?
 
mirage said:
Dear PF,

My mare is costing me a fortune in shoes.I was thinking of asking the farrier to put 2 shoes on each hoof next time,so that they won't wear down as quickly.It'll be sure to be cheaper don't you think?
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Yes, good idea. Also ask him if he's got any made of adamantium; strongest metal in the world. Then you won't have to worry about shoes ever again. Good luck and Feeel the Hugggles ;)
 
Dear PF

What's should I do this year? Think about getting a horse or stay sane, with a nice social life and nice clothes etc or get a horse, have no money and no social life?

Thanks C
 
LeneHorse said:
Lovely to see this thread ressurected! It has made my day.

Anyway, dear PF

I can't ride my horse just now as she is recovering from a virus. Should I eat her instead? I have finished all my xmas chocs and can't afford to go to the supermarket. She is not on any meds and is lovely and plump.
Many thanks

Mrs Fatty, Glasgow
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Yes, why not? Can't be hanging around for her to get better, and the weather's too rubbish to ride in. You can always get another when it gets warmer and drier ;) It'll save you a fortune in livery as well
 
CalllyH said:
Dear PF

What's should I do this year? Think about getting a horse or stay sane, with a nice social life and nice clothes etc or get a horse, have no money and no social life?

Thanks C
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Ooh, tough one. Welll, it's true that you will never be as skint, cold, tired, wet and muddy as when you have a horse, BUT on the other hand it's considered perfectly normal to play with whips, spurs, gags, tall boots and lots of things with leather straps... you could pursue a social life through S&M and ALSO have a horse. Result!!

ps: Forgot to say I have special DVD set and... ahem...schooling aids, delivered in a discreet brown paper parcel available for £2995. ;)
 
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these are fantastic am crying with laughter...... my collegues in work are giving me very strange looks they are not horsy at all keep em coming oh and your replies papafrita are fab xx
 
PapaFrita said:
Ooh, tough one. Welll, it's true that you will never be as skint, cold, tired, wet and muddy as when you have a horse, BUT on the other hand it's considered perfectly normal to play with whips, spurs, gags, tall boots and lots of things with leather straps... you could pursue a social life through S&M and ALSO have a horse. Result!!

ps: Forgot to say I have special DVD set and... ahem...schooling aids, delivered in a discreet brown paper parcel available for £2995. ;)
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Maybe now is a great time to mention #All_the_leather_gear (and lots of ideas) where I gather you can also be 'followed' by your ever-increasing number of devotees and converts? :D ;)
 
Dear PF
I have an old mare who hasn't been ridden in 3 years, I want to take her hunting next week, do you think she'll be fit enough to go all day? I know she'll be fast enough as she runs really fast across the field when I bring her food
 
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