Roll up! Roll up!! Get the answer you're looking for RIGHT here. NO problem too big..

Groom42 said:
Dear PF, my frend took me to a sale last week - god, it was soooooooo cheepeeee, I got two really cute baby horses for fifty pense! If id nown how cheep they wer id of got some ages ago. They are all cute and flufy, with big fat tummies - someone has reely loved them and given them lots to eat. As there so little they can go in my garden - dont worry ive moved the patio stuff, lol! neways, my frend said they need nuts to eat, so I went to that nut shop in town, but got confussed coz there was so any diffrent sorts,lol! Shud i get brasils, or wud warnuts be better?
Lovemycuties
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Duntcha U noe G42, U shud feem em cobnuts
 
nativeponies said:
dear PF

i've got a 17.2 horse will it fit in an ifor williams 505?

clueless
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Yes, kneel it down and get it to crawl in. This can be easily achieved with the patented left-handed headcollar, the lungeline with the extra-heavy clip and the bananastick, tassles optional, and the DVD set entitled 'How to teach your horse to muck out, load himself and drive the lorry'
 
picture.php

What colour is he?
I bought this beautiful Fresian x Lippizanner last month. Only cost £9,848.95, what a bargain! Seller assured me he'll be at Olympia at Xmas. (She temporarily misplaced the passport but now says it's in the post).
What class shall I enter him in?
He makes a strange noise sometimes, can be heard miles away. Is this normal? Sounds a bit like 'hee-haw'. Maybe he's just having a laugh. :D
 
thelwell_girl said:
*booohooo*

No-ones answered my very most pressing questions :(

Im gonna go cry into a bucket of whelks now :(
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Ah, be patient mon petit chere. The great PF is the only one who can answer questions, and she has a backlog.

I believe that if you buy her entire DVD back catalogue (RRP £17,875) then you get bumped up the list.
 
cougar said:
Dear PF, I just adore KP's pink horse box! The problem I have is I can't possibly afford one like it. I do think however, I could stretch tp a respray of beanies trailer. The question I wish to put to you is do you think it reasonable to paint my richardson trailer a lush hot pink with bling in certain places??? Maybe some of those flash shiny hubs that carry on spinning when the wheels have stopped???
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Yes, pink and bling is always a good idea. I have a DVD available called 'Pimp my trailer' and it's available online for £56.99. All you need to know to create the perfect effect :)
 
PF

I have recently got my pony back after being at uni. I haven't ridden her in nearly four years... how long before I can go hunting again?

Also, I need to take a trailer test... can you recommend anyone who can teach me to drive a trailer AND text, at the same time? I want to be just like my heroine, Katy Price.

Muchos love

KatiePriceHunter
 
JenJ said:
Ah, be patient mon petit chere. The great PF is the only one who can answer questions, and she has a backlog.

I believe that if you buy her entire DVD back catalogue (RRP £17,875) then you get bumped up the list.
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B-b-but... I'm in charge of the PF fan club!! I own ALL of the DVDs.

and im not a stalker at all.....

I should get privileges, dammit.

*wails*
 
SJ_Superstars said:
Thank you JenJ. :)

My other question is what are these carrot sticks everyone seems to be going on about? My horse loves eating carrots so will he like carrot sticks too?
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Carrot sticks are so last year! You need a bananastick. A bananastick will enable you to establish a psychic connection with your horse merely by touching him with it. The harder you touch him, the stronge the psychic connection. That, and buying my entire DVD collection, with the BRAND NEW left-handed headcollar with the psychic antennae, the new, improved lungeline with the extra-heavy clip and the magic hoofpick with fairy dust.
 
LadyRascasse said:
Dearest PF,

my older gelding is currently lame but i don't want to miss out on any riding, would it be ok to bute him up and take him up the gallops and round the XC course anyway????

yours

LR
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Yes, absolutely. Horses will not jump or gallop unless they want to, so as long as you don't have to whip him too hard, you'll be fine and he'll be grateful that you're trying so hard to keep him healthy. You truly are a wonderful owner, just like another client of mine, Annie Tryiton.
 
PapaFrita said:
Carrot sticks are so last year! You need a bananastick. A bananastick will enable you to establish a psychic connection with your horse merely by touching him with it. The harder you touch him, the stronge the psychic connection. That, and buying my entire DVD collection, with the BRAND NEW left-handed headcollar with the psychic antennae, the new, improved lungeline with the extra-heavy clip and the magic hoofpick with fairy dust.
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Oooh now these banana sticks do sound interesting! Will have to get one of those, and also all of the other stuff you mentioned. Don't want to make it look like I am a sheep and that I'm copying you but I really think this method of training will work. We will have the strongest bond ever... and also because of a magic wand! Who would have thought it?!
 
Dear PF

I have *recently* gone from a size zero to twenty stone. I can get on from the ramp I have built specially for the purpose but my pony (he's 12.2) won't let me lead him up to it now. I had the saddle checked four years ago but his back seems to have changed shape. He never used to mind me riding him when he was 14 hands. What shall I do?

Lardydahdiarse
 
Dear PF

I've just divorced my footballer husband and have decided to be a successful business horsewoman instead of a WAG. I have bought a big old dairy farm and will get the cow sheds turned into stables. Will my new found expertise suit me best setting up as the YO of a livery yard or a stud farm, or should I be a professional rider and train for the Olympics 2012?

Moremoneythansense
 
nativeponies said:
dear PF

I've noticed on this forum a certain sub-language which contains infantile speak such as "coblet", "doglet", "horsey" and "ponio"

is this possible to erradicate?

speakerofrealenglish
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*puts on teacher voice* These words derive from Spanish; Pony in Spanish is ponio, a coblet, or cobbo is a cob, a horsey is a horse, etc etc. People who use these terms are members of a society similar to the masons; they are called the Bunnyhuggeros. They use these words to identify eachother as TRUE lovers of all equines and using these words immediately makes horses love them more than they love anyone else. Bunnyhuggeros are not required to have any common sense or horse knowledge as long as they cuddle and kiss their ponios every day. Hope this answers your question :) *secret handshake*
 
I'm sooooo worried about my horsey. He's 16 hands and 9 years old, and I lie awake all night wondering if he might be cold. It's about 14 degrees here tonight and he's in his heavyweight combo with an extra liner underneath and two neck covers, and I've also put his turn out socks on. But I'm so scared he might be chilly. I've got another even thicker rug that he could wear but it's purple which is SO last year. Should I bring him into the kitchen in front of the Aga for the night? He will fit through the front door because we brought him in to watch Badminton last year to see if he would pick up some tips.
Also he's quite spooky especially in the dark, do you think he could wear a head torch overnight so he could see that there was nothing to be scared of? It is so great that HHO has all knowing experts such as yourself to help us with our problems.
Neurotic Nelly
 
Thistle said:
Dear PF

As we are neighbours I am becoming rather worried about the safety of my horses. I know they aren't left handed though so don't bother trying to sell me all that left handed kit!

Do you think the ponies might have eaten the missing pussy cat? I know it's good to give them a varied diet!

I've given the local psych team a ring and they'yy be around in a bit with your normal Thursday evening treatment. They did say they hope you haven't put on any weight this week though as the strait jacket has shrunk in the wash.

Yours Thistle xxx
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Dear Thistle
You only THINK the horses are not left-handed because you're not in touch with your inner ponio. I'm not going to explain; if you don't get it's just because you haven't received the blessing of the bananastick and you'll never achieve true enlightenment *shakes head sadly*
As for the cat, Cleo ate it ;)
 
Oh god I can't stop screaming with laughter!!

My tb has learnt this really awesome new trick!! He walks normally with three legs and then jumps and hops about! He looks really cute. I must be such an amazing horse owner to teach my horse how to hop. Grand National here we come!!
 
boogles said:
Nuffink rong wiv callin ma girlie a ponio.....shez 17.2 so itz a ponio aiiiiiiite!


PF anova qweztion 4 u......she az big blak fings between er back legs....are dey her energi storez? u kno camelz stor wata so poniez stor energi rite? and i dnt fink er cord woz cut propa az a baybe iva coz she az a big black umbilical sausage fing 2?
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Ur ponio iz a cow. Dose r udders.
 
nativeponies said:
dear PF

i've been riding now for at least 5 years and have just mastered rising trot

shall i put my name down for the RS jumping Derby?

everhopefuluselessrider
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At least. After 5 years I think you should aim for the olympics. You'll need my DVDs 'How to get to the Olympics and not as a volunteer' available for £1000)
 
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