Roll up! Roll up!! Get the answer you're looking for RIGHT here. NO problem too big..

jemima_too said:
*is howling with laughter*

Dear Imabiggeridiot

Tell you what, you get him in foal and I'll give you £15K for him. Please can you forward tapes of phone conversations with stallion owners to me to prove you are genuine. Video of the coverings would also be useful.

YS

etc
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If I got him in foal I would want more than 15k! :D My friend has a colt, not sure how it is bred. I think it is ShetlandxShire. Do you think that would do? it stands at about 8hh and is 4 ft wide. Do you think I would get an apaloosa?
 
Toast said:
Dear PF,
Im not sure if what im feeding my HW cob is right. He is 14hh and the weigh tape says hes around 750kg which is ok i think? I feed him 3 scoops of conditioning mix in each feed but I also feed him flapjacks as i hear oats are good for energy which he doesnt have much of. I figured flapjacks are tastier than just plain oats.
Also PF, he does this strange thing quite often, he leans back a lot onto his back feet, like he wants to sit down. Its quite funny to watch but im sure it cant be good for his back, perhaps its because his feet curl upwards do you think? maybe he's admiring his toes, they do look nice now theyre all curly. Do all horses do this?
Thanks!
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Your pony sounds seriously underweight and is probably standing oddly due to being weak from lack of food. He needs a lot more food and some nice big rugs. Have you tried M&S flapjacks - my 900kg 15.2 connie loves em!
 
Dear PF

Please can you tell me what you are on tonight and can you express some over to me.

Yours

Feelingratherflat
 
Faracat said:
Dear PF, I have an old retired TB mare that I use as a companion. I have been told that she's taking advantage of me, should I;

1. put her in foal despite the fact that her last foal was PTS due to health problems?

2. re-back her as she apparently was a fab jumper when she raced (National Hunt) years ago? I was told that she rears vertically when ridden so should I hobble all her legs together and will she still be able to jump in hobbles?
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First you need to buy my bananastick and DVD set. I'll throw in the Patented Left-handed headcollar. All for £250 plus postage. These will help you control your mare.
Yes, definitely breed from her again as my patented Recovery Kit (an additional £350) will cure her of any health issues and of course stop the rearing instantly as long as you follow the steps exactly and do not deviate in any way. Be aware that following any of the steps when Mercury is not in Uranus voids the guarantee.
 
LeneHorse said:
Your pony sounds seriously underweight and is probably standing oddly due to being weak from lack of food. He needs a lot more food and some nice big rugs. Have you tried M&S flapjacks - my 900kg 15.2 connie loves em!
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Oh but he's already in a duvet and 2 heavyweights? Bugger perhaps i should invest in another duvet. I'll make sure i double his feed then
x
 
PapaFrita said:
First you need to buy my bananastick and DVD set. I'll throw in the Patented Left-handed headcollar. All for £250 plus postage. These will help you control your mare.
Yes, definitely breed from her again as my patented Recovery Kit (an additional £350) will cure her of any health issues and of course stop the rearing instantly as long as you follow the steps exactly and do not deviate in any way. Be aware that following any of the steps when Mercury is not in Uranus voids the guarantee.
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Wow a free gift! :D The money's on it's way! Hopefully she and the foal will be in the eventing or SJ team at the 2012 Olympics! :cool:
 
Toast said:
Dear PF,
Im not sure if what im feeding my HW cob is right. He is 14hh and the weigh tape says hes around 750kg which is ok i think? I feed him 3 scoops of conditioning mix in each feed but I also feed him flapjacks as i hear oats are good for energy which he doesnt have much of. I figured flapjacks are tastier than just plain oats.
Also PF, he does this strange thing quite often, he leans back a lot onto his back feet, like he wants to sit down. Its quite funny to watch but im sure it cant be good for his back, perhaps its because his feet curl upwards do you think? maybe he's admiring his toes, they do look nice now theyre all curly. Do all horses do this?
Thanks!
Click to expand...
I know you mean well but you're not feeding your horse enough!! Cobs are meant to be really really round and they should wobble all over when they move. If you turn him out, I suggest you stop, and double his food. Feeding him flapjacks is a very good idea.
Hmmm, I don't think his feet are that long, he probably needs some training with my patented left-handed headcollar, lungerein and banana stick. These and the DVD set numbers 1-10 will sort him out. Good luck!!
 
Dear PF, I ride my horse for 4 each each weekday and for 7 hours on Saturday and 7 hours on Sundays. I ride on the main roads and on the stoney flinty tracks in the woods. I like to gallop on the stoney tracks. My horse did start to limp, first on one front leg then he started to limp with a back leg as well. That was three months ago,he doesnt limp now coz his feet ate really worn down so hes nothing to trip over, he just shuffles along and is so quiet and easy to ride as he cant run away. My barefoot trimmer is thrilled at how removing his shoes has slowed him down and made him manageable, but I want to gallop on the roads,should I get the blacksmith out to shoe him? The farrier man came and just splutters rude words like WHAT THE !!!!!******** etc , can the blacksmith shoe him instead or will this upset the barefoot trimmer?
Yours
FlipFlop.
 
JenJ said:
Dear PF,

I've been pony trekking a few times recently, and as I have a big garden, thought I might buy myself a horse. I want something that looks impressive, so should I buy a ex-racehorse (one that has won lots) or a Grade A showjumper? I'm not interested in those cart horse types you see around.

Also, I don't really want hoofprints on the lawn, so can I leave it in the shed and just pick some grass to feed it?

And how do I put the shoes on?

Lotstolearn
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Yes, get an exracehorse; he'll help you keep the grass down and trim the hedges. Horses particularly like yew, so feed him lots of that. If he messes up your lawn, you can put trainers on him and glue them on with wallpaper paste. Keep him in the greenhouse so you can keep an eye on him.
 
Dear PF
I have a minor question.
I have just bought 2 year old very hairy girl pony, I think its a girl, thats about a metre high. I think its small. I went to the supermarket to buy some food for it, they told me that cornflakes and milk isn't a healthy diet. So, I went to the shop called 'scats' and bought, 3 bags of competition mix - I want to compete the pony at Badminton, 3 bags of hifi, 3 bags of barley, and 3 bags of sugar beat. Iam feeding the pony 2 scoops of competition mix 3 times a day, breakfast, lunch and dinner. At break time I feed it 1 scoop of barley, so it doesn't get hungry before lunch. This is ok, isn't it? When do I also give it hifi and sugar beat?
I want it tip top form to win at Badminton. I want to be on the telly!!
ps, riding it is great, it takes my 13stone very well, and soon we will be jumping 5ft!!

Thanks for your help.
 
boogles said:
Fing iz do i az tied ma legz to ma girf so i getz dragged wen i falz off, shud i tie notz in ma standin martingail to make it shorta? ma ponio shud ave itz ead on itz chest riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite?


stoopidilchavchild


(you don't know how painful it is to write like that :p:D)
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Yes, er ed shud be on er chst nd 'er noze shud av 2 rinkls. I cnt bliev u dn't no thattttt!! *rols eys*

(I share your pain!)
 
Three said:
Dear PF,

Am I the only one who can't resist a foal?? I bought one at the NF sales earlier this year but I've been worried that it's loney with only the chickens for company.

My friend has a friend who is selling a foal, it's sooooo cute!! It's home bred and the mare has won several rosettes at local competitions so is expected to do big things. I have room in the garden - we have almost an acre! - and I think it will make a nice friend for my baby.

The thing is I've never had a horse before so am worried that as this new one will be so good it might be too much for me when I break it in?

Will it be easier with two cos they can learn watching each other so should I go for it?
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Your instincts are bang on! Foals should be kept together and they teach each other all sorts of things like how to stand for the barefoot trimmer and how to be caught and led, although if you buy my bananastck and patented left-handed headcollar and DVDs numbers 1-10 then they will also learn to communicate with you and understand English exactly like Spirit Stallion of the Cimarron.
 
horsesforever1 said:
Dear PF, I ride my horse for 4 each each weekday and for 7 hours on Saturday and 7 hours on Sundays. I ride on the main roads and on the stoney flinty tracks in the woods. I like to gallop on the stoney tracks. My horse did start to limp, first on one front leg then he started to limp with a back leg as well. That was three months ago,he doesnt limp now coz his feet ate really worn down so hes nothing to trip over, he just shuffles along and is so quiet and easy to ride as he cant run away. My barefoot trimmer is thrilled at how removing his shoes has slowed him down and made him manageable, but I want to gallop on the roads,should I get the blacksmith out to shoe him? The farrier man came and just splutters rude words like WHAT THE !!!!!******** etc , can the blacksmith shoe him instead or will this upset the barefoot trimmer?
Yours
FlipFlop.
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Dear FlipFlop, Don't get a farrier!! 6 years of training is NOTHING compared to 2days of tea and biscuits with a bit of conversation about hooves. These are run by people who have done 4 or more days of conversation, so they are more than qualified to sort your horse's feet out. I have to warn you that to REALLY improve your horse you'll need to buy my Patented left-handed headcollar, lungerope (newly improved with extra heavy clip) and bananastick, together with DVDs 1-10. Good luck :)
 
PapaFrita said:
Dear stoopidilchavchild

u cnt stp bicoz u frgot ur stnding mrting gale!! Iniittttt!!?? u wnt ur hair 2 sty nice? u need mre herspriy nd dnt wear a hat!!! if u fll of wn she buckssss thn u's a crap ridder, innittttt!! f'ing hold on titer!!
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Oi PF. You told me off for laughing at chavs the other day. Blooming brilliant post though. I love it. Although I expect I am probably guilty for asking stoppid questions so am most likely laughing at myself!
 
I have a very nice black gelding. Do you think he'd look nice in the Katie Price pink bling, in the Working Hunter class. I've seen the pink bridles and saddle cloths, also think about pink Brushing boots when out Hunting.:cool::cool::cool:
 
We are thinking of getting the kids a poney for Xmas. They will only ride it once a week - will it be ok to leave it out in a field on its own the rest of the time? It will get plenty too eat as my hubby is going to keep all the lawn cuttings for it and it can have any stale bread thats left each week. My friend has given me her old horse's saddell and bridal so we're laughing. It was a 18hand hunter and we're looking for something small but it won't matter if the saddell is a bit big will it? So can you recommend a breed of poney that will suit us? We really want a white one as that will be right christmassy. PS the kids are 7 and 10 and each weigh 14 stone.
Thanx - we're sooo excited!
 
Dear PF

My lovely perfect horse who I have owned for ten wonderful years has turned evil. He keeps trying to kill me every time I try to ride him. I have tried playing Parelli games with him but he's just too evil now to do them properly. An expert told me he might have a pain so i got the YO, a chiropractor, a bowen therapist, a dentist, a barefoot guru, a reiki healer, a TTouch practitioner, a faith healer and an animal communicator to have a look but he's fine.

So now i know there's nothing up with him, the expert helped me give him a "sorting out" but he's so evil he's put the expert in hospital and I've got no one else who's brave enough to help me beat him into behaving himself again.

What should I do? Please help. :(

Numptygettingadvicefromothernumpties


:p
 
PapaFrita said:
Yes, get an exracehorse; he'll help you keep the grass down and trim the hedges. Horses particularly like yew, so feed him lots of that. If he messes up your lawn, you can put trainers on him and glue them on with wallpaper paste. Keep him in the greenhouse so you can keep an eye on him.
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Thanks for the advice PF.

But I've decided that I don't want to get a horse that's old and boring, so I'm going to get a young racehorse. I'd like to ride it really fast in races myself - I saw a 'show schedule' with entry forms and stuff in the office of the pony trekking centre, do they do one of those for the Grand National?
 
Dear PF,

I have just purchased a lovely Falabella for this season's hunting. I am 6ft6 and weigh 15 stone. He is beautiful and was described as a super first pony which will suilt me fine as he is my first pony! I am so excited - bring on those big hedges! People have been telling me though that we won't keep up and we won't make it over the jumps? :confused: I don't know why because his old owner told me he was 'willing to please and will always try his best for you' Do you think this is true these people are just jealous of my super hunting horse?

Confusedfallabellahunter
 
Ruthnmeg said:
Dear PF
I have a minor question.
I have just bought 2 year old very hairy girl pony, I think its a girl, thats about a metre high. I think its small. I went to the supermarket to buy some food for it, they told me that cornflakes and milk isn't a healthy diet. So, I went to the shop called 'scats' and bought, 3 bags of competition mix - I want to compete the pony at Badminton, 3 bags of hifi, 3 bags of barley, and 3 bags of sugar beat. Iam feeding the pony 2 scoops of competition mix 3 times a day, breakfast, lunch and dinner. At break time I feed it 1 scoop of barley, so it doesn't get hungry before lunch. This is ok, isn't it? When do I also give it hifi and sugar beat?
I want it tip top form to win at Badminton. I want to be on the telly!!
ps, riding it is great, it takes my 13stone very well, and soon we will be jumping 5ft!!

Thanks for your help.
Click to expand...
Hi, your horse sounds lovely. The diet sounds perfect; you should always feed youngsters as much as possible so they grow really tall. Also, not many people know this, but I'll forgive you your inexperience, competition mix is specially designed for Badminton horses!! Really!! It should only take a few months to get her to hold a racquet and shuttlecock.
The Hifi and sugar beet is for YOU!! You must keep your strength up. Look forward to seeing you on the telly!!
 
SJ_Superstars said:
Dear PF,

I have just purchased a lovely Falabella for this season's hunting. I am 6ft6 and weigh 15 stone. He is beautiful and was described as a super first pony which will suilt me fine as he is my first pony! I am so excited - bring on those big hedges! People have been telling me though that we won't keep up and we won't make it over the jumps? :confused: I don't know why because his old owner told me he was 'willing to please and will always try his best for you' Do you think this is true these people are just jealous of my super hunting horse?

Confusedfallabellahunter
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PapaFrita said:
Hi, your horse sounds lovely. The diet sounds perfect; you should always feed youngsters as much as possible so they grow really tall. Also, not many people know this, but I'll forgive you your inexperience, competition mix is specially designed for Badminton horses!! Really!! It should only take a few months to get her to hold a racquet and shuttlecock.
The Hifi and sugar beet is for YOU!! You must keep your strength up. Look forward to seeing you on the telly!!
Click to expand...


I think there's your answer - you just need to feed your falabella lots.

Sorry PF, but I thought I'd save you time so you can answer my question. I really want to win the Grand National.
 
Dear PF.
A lovely man came to my front door last month with a very fat pony. He said that we were meant to be together so I paid him lots of money and put her in the back garden. She saved me cutting the lawn last week, but now I am getting worried as she is getting fatter and fatter and soon won't be able to fit through the gate. It's such a shame as I wanted to take her to Olympia this year as my kids have worked out they can get on her when they jump from the shed roof and I thought she could would look good if I got one of those diamante head things on her and lead her around. I keep finding this creamy white liquid on the patio, but not sure what it is. Also she is looking very bad tempered and swishing her tail. Should I get a builder out to widen my gate?
Thank you.

ETA thanks for brightening up my evening! :)
 
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