Safe Place to Make Mistakes!

AShetlandBitMeOnce said:
If she is partial to a wither scratch and will move toward you for more of them, you can also use this as a fairly easy way to make it rewarding for them to line themselves up with the mounting block for you if you add a very clear que. Dex is very established at this now, and I'm actually having to re-train the 'only do it when I am asking' part.
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I use the wither scratch once I'm on and I just sit and expect them to wait until I ask them to go forward.

I find my confidence is at its worst when I'm mounting I ride alot on my own so no one around, I just think it's a really vulnerable thing and it's often done on hard ground and I have to feel safe.
 
Pinkvboots said:
I use the wither scratch once I'm on and I just sit and expect them to wait until I ask them to go forward.

I find my confidence is at its worst when I'm mounting I ride alot on my own so no one around, I just think it's a really vulnerable thing and it's often done on hard ground and I have to feel safe.
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Always a good thing to do, I have dodgy hips so will need something good to mount, plus having had an 18.3hh and loathing having to get off on a hack as he was a bit of a pain, I wanted to make sure I made mounting as easy as possible.

I have it now so that if I walk up to a mounting block, or anything that positions me above Dex, and put my hand up and say 'over' that he will swivel himself around and line him up as if I were to get on, and as a reward I lean over him and give him a good scratch on the other side (that's more because I am looking to back him than anything else). Even if it's 180 degree turn from where he's stood. I started that off by giving him a good wither scratch in the field, then standing back one pace and giving the que and he would step over (because he wanted more, not because he knew the que yet of course) then progressed it from there. Unfortunately he likes the reward so much that it's his favourite thing to offer, so a reminder of manners is due - but that's my fault more than his, I needed to be more specific about when I rewarded. I was so excited that I finally got it, I was rewarding every time he offered it. You live and you learn!
 
I had a massive fail today and I'm so annoyed with myself as I didn't handle it very well due to feeling hormonal and just one thing after another.

Was gonna ride but back is not great and I've got a lesson tomorrow on my friends horse and it's intense plus Louis has had 2 days off and a night in, so thought I'd lunge and do ground work next door it's a 7 minute walk.

The track is really overgrown with hawthorns thistle and grass not nice but just been putting up with it, have asked 3 times for it to be cut then in the distance a man in full hi viz is walking about so Louis starts snorting spinning and I'm getting pulled around, got stabbed in the leg with plants several times.

Managed to get him to the end then horses in the field at the bottom are charging around, so now his in full passage mode and I shouted at him which doesn't help but I've had enough now.

So got into school someone is mowing opposite but his ok then person with horse appears on the track alongside school, and because its so overgrown trees completely cover it he doesn't see them then suddenly they are there, so he goes flying off nearly falls over and I lost it and screamed and swore at him.

I know I shouldn't have done it I feel really bad and a crap person because I know I can stay calm and cope but today I just lost it.

I just can't wait to get my own arena it's just such a chore riding in the one next door, getting there is just awful then my horses just seem to spook so bad as everything is over grown and they just can't see properly.

I just wish I never bothered 😪
 
And breathe...... The sad emoji is sad FOR you not about you! (Emojis can be a bit ambigous. If it could be a hug emoji I'd have used that).

We are human. We get scared/frustrated and we lose it. With our partners. With our kids. With our horses. Espeically if we are hormonal and in pain.The difference is you know it does not help the horse. And it makes you feel crap afterwards. So lose/lose. Some people don't have that awareness and routinely yell at their horses! So cut yourself some slack and be kind to yourself.

Pat on the back for trying. Try again another day. We win or we learn. Even if all we learn is what NOT to do. And I have had plenty of those kinds of lessons x
 
If anyone wants to laugh I almost got trapped in the walker the other day. Too busy focused on getting the horse and not getting the horse out of the door 😂😂😂

Oh and I can't Rug big horses. I usually throw it on and suss it from there but groom showed me the folding method and my brain doesn't understand 🙈
 
Ambers Echo said:
Have you texted yet?!😉
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Text sent today! Usually hear back late at night, but no turning back now. Plus (if positive things are allowed here too!?) Pops behaved beautifully when our hacking buddy turned into a middleweight gazelle in response to a big lorry, so that’s reminded me of how good she really is!
 
Thank you for this thread, it has really helped my thinking brain about training my horse. Even if I don't have the time/eloquence to try to write about it on here I am talking to myself about how I can learn from every ride. There is rarely a session when I don't make mistakes that I can learn from, I just find it really difficult to express it in writing.
 
Ambers Echo said:
And breathe...... The sad emoji is sad FOR you not about you! (Emojis can be a bit ambigous. If it could be a hug emoji I'd have used that).

We are human. We get scared/frustrated and we lose it. With our partners. With our kids. With our horses. Espeically if we are hormonal and in pain.The difference is you know it does not help the horse. And it makes you feel crap afterwards. So lose/lose. Some people don't have that awareness and routinely yell at their horses! So cut yourself some slack and be kind to yourself.

Pat on the back for trying. Try again another day. We win or we learn. Even if all we learn is what NOT to do. And I have had plenty of those kinds of lessons x
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Thank you I really appreciate that it's really helped me, and I did have a bit of a cry on Louis about it and lucky for me I think he forgave me, we were doing so well I did loads of ground work with him when my back was bad and we sort of connected in a different level but today he was just so focused on everything else.

He does really pick up on my mood and I think I need to pick my moments with him hopefully my next report will be better.
 
Lesson today and raised the mounting issue so we incorporated lots of mounting and standing and dismounting without aid into the lesson. Not once did she put a foot wrong! Luckily instructor gets her quite well so didn't think I was making it up. So either 1) I fixed the issue last time (unlikely) 2) she was picking up on underlying tension as she's very tuned into me (most likely) probably more difficult to fix but we'll do lots of practise and I'm sure we'll get there. She was fab today so I feel a bit less useless and instructor reminded me of how far she's come ☺️
 
Caol Ila said:
Mistake 1: Buying green horses.

Mistake 2: Being deluded enough to think I could produce them.
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I am so with you on both 1 and 2. I’ve pledged not to post my training progress with my young one as I’m sure people would think me utterly useless.
 
smolmaus said:
Which inappropriate person in a completely different scenario have you gone and compared yourself to, CI?
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Oh only the best trainers in the world....!

At the yearling handling demo at the Joe camp, Joe had hold of Felix. Felix tried to head barge him (friendly not aggressive but not ok) and Joe casually raised his rope hand and pointed a finger. Felix backed off. (And more or less tugged a forelock and offered to run him a bath). Joe handed him back and Felix came in for a head rub and I ineffectually waggled fingers and then arms and ropes at him to no effect.

What did you do!?! I asked. Joe said you need to 'get big', then when he complies, get very small and inviting. JOE did not 'get big'. He did not need to because his timing, intent, energy and feel are such that a casual finger point/flick was clear and authoritative enough to cut through far more than my ineffectual waving. But I can't possibly do what he does. I never will be able to. But U CAN 'get big' which works ish. And over time Felix willdecipher the meaning hidden within my 'noise' and learn to back off.

Comparing myself to him would have been pointless. I am me, and have to work within what is realistically possible within my current skillset. While trying to learn and get better. That;s all any of us can do. Do the best we can with what we have, and try and keep learning.
 
Caol Ila said:
Mistake 1: Buying green horses.

Mistake 2: Being deluded enough to think I could produce them.
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It looks like you're doing a very good job to me - you're curious, you listen, you adjust course when needed.

I think the hard / sad / wonderful (all three at various times) thing about horse ownership and training is that you constantly learn, and each horse teaches you a heap of new stuff. I personally can't help looking back and thinking 'I wish I'd known that when I had my last horse' and tend to beat myself up to a smaller or lesser extent. I have many regrets and I'm sure I'll look back at my time with Chilli and feel the same way.

If you read any autobiography or interview with a top horse person they will almost always have a similar sentiment and feeling of loss about horses they trained when they were younger. Even the best trainers have been through a learning curve and have only become so good by making mistakes as well as things going right.

I guess that's a long way of saying that we all feel the same way at times, but we all have to start somewhere!
 
Aim today get on an off 4 times by self. Managed 3/4 without taking a step with no correction required. It was warm and D was lethargic so buoyed by my success I went for a walk and trot about, did some rein back, went for a 5th mount/dismount and it was the worst of all! D was clearly bored and thought we should leave... Why did I have to go for the extra!
 
Cloball said:
Aim today get on an off 4 times by self. Managed 3/4 without taking a step with no correction required. It was warm and D was lethargic so buoyed by my success I went for a walk and trot about, did some rein back, went for a 5th mount/dismount and it was the worst of all! D was clearly bored and thought we should leave... Why did I have to go for the extra!
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Woody can stand like a rock for me to mount, but only if he thinks "great we are going out and I will be allowed five minutes grazing time at some point" or "ok, we are going for a short play in the school followed by five minutes grazing". He becomes a wriggling uncooperative uneducated idiot if he thinks he has already worked enough, like trying to go for a hack after a schooling session. He knows what he is supposed to do, it does not mean he always wants to do it though! Apparently I have so far failed to induce proper respect for my wishes into him.
 
southerncomfort said:
I can't currently sort my position out cantering uphill on a hack (I live in a very hilly area with hardly any safe, flat areas for a canter).

In my head, I want a lighter, more forward seat but can't seem to get up and forward enough to get out of his way.

I suspect its my weak core muscles letting me down so I suppose I know what I need to work on but still feel fairly useless about it.
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Have you tried shortening your stirrups? I can't consistently get out out of the saddle if I'm at dressage or. even hacking length
 
I don't like having to 'get big.' How do people like Joe manage that? Or manage not doing that? And I guess sometimes they do get big. I've seen Buck Brannaman get quite tough with a horse. But he's got kind of an edge to him. Whether you're a horse or a human, you don't want to p1ss that guy off. I didn't get that sense from Joe at all. You don't really get it from Mark or Chrissi Rashid, either.

Today, we were on a solo hack, and we got to a four-way junction. Lots of horses can get funny at this junction. For some reason, they all want to veer onto the left trail and can get very sticky if you want to go straight on. It's like a horse magnet. God knows why. I knew from previous experience that Hermosa will speed up and plough through the aids to the left, and I was keen on this not happening. My plan was to ride as if I was going straght on, stop, give her a treat and/or let her eat some grass, then double back on myself and go on the other trail, because I actually did want to go on the horse-magnet trail today but I don't like being dragged that way. I approached the junction, bent her slightly to the right, and she still tried to pull to the left. Godammit. I had to get quite loud with my leg and rein aids to get her to go straight. She planted, reversed, and argued for a minute, then she went where I was pointing her. I gave her a treat, let her nibble at grass, asked for a few more forwards strides and then turned around. In the middle of the four-way junction, now facing the other way, she started to speed up but took the stopping cue. Thank God. I gave her another treat, then got her to turn onto the planned trail in a fairly polite manner.

We had no more trouble for the rest of the hack. Not even when I rode her into the castle, or we had to pass the field full of scary giant black marshmellows that had been beamed down from aliens because they hadn't been there yesterday (aka haylage bales).

How would Joe handle a steering disagreement like that? I have no idea. These guys are so good that they probably don't have them. I guess the rest of us punters have to muddle on.

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No posting wins in the mistakes thread, Caol! She knows left exists, she knows she wants to go that way, you can't psychically snip those thoughts out of her brain.

Maybe there is a way to stop any and all disagreements before they happen, I don't know. I suppose we'd have to pay the money to find out 😂 I have one friend who never seems to need to "get big" either. She just has a vibe that horses respect. And confidence and a lot of experience which is maybe the same thing. Her "disagreements" with her mare are basically invisible to me. I only know they happen because she comes back wracked with self doubt and misery same as the rest of us!
 
spacefaer said:
Have you tried shortening your stirrups? I can't consistently get out out of the saddle if I'm at dressage or. even hacking length
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I've shortened them a bit. They could probably do with being shorter still but my saddle isn't helping me out, and puts me in a chair seat if I shorten them much more.

I think I might just need to experiment a bit to find optimum stirrup length.
 
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