Should I hit the panic button?

[EventingMum]

I understand this is very hard and is causing you stress which isn't pleasant. From an outsider's perspective, it seems like there are several issues, all of which combined are making things much worse for you.

Firstly, Hermosa wasn't as well handled as you had hoped, you were working on this then discovered she was in foal. In your shoes I would continue handling her but forget about any further "training", If she is happy to have a headcollar on and a brush over, for now that's good. You did mention her feet needing attention so I would quietly work away with handling her legs. Anything else can wait until Caso is weaned.

I personally like to handle my foals gently from early on but appreciate this may not be easy in a field. Mine tended to come in to a big stable for a short time and the foals generally become quite inquisitive when I was brushing the mares and so it was never a big deal to give them a little scratch or brush too, building up to touching them all over and picking up feet at a few weeks old. They also got introduced to wearing a foal slip for a short period early on and being lead with an arm around the quarters. I never attach a lead rope to the foal slip until they are a good bit older, I just loop the rope through it so if they did pull away I hold one end and the lead rope becomes free and isn't left trailing.

The other horse in the field probably isn't helping but equally, you can't demand it be removed as it's not your yard and the YO has had to come to terms with the situation thrust upon her in the same way you have. I would seriously look at any studs that might have livery available for a mare and foal, that way hopefully, you could get knowledgeable support and advice and it might make the weaning process less stressful for you too. It doesn't have to be a long term livery yard for you so even if it's a bit further away it may only need to be until after weaning. Obviously, the travelling is a concern for you but perhaps the stud or an experienced transporter would be able to help in that respect.

I honestly think you have raised a lot of questions as to whether you want to keep Hermosa long term. she wasn't what you thought you were buying initially in terms of her handling etc and then to be in foal was the last thing you expected. This wasn't what you expected and has caused you so much stress and worry. Yes, she's gorgeous but is that enough to make you want to keep her? You are missing riding and will have to wait a good while until she is ready to do what you want to. You say you might regret selling her but if it allowed you to purchase a horse that you could enjoy riding and become fully invested in it would take so much stress away and give you much more pleasure plus you could return to your old yard. I do wonder if keeping her is what you think is the right thing to do rather than what you really want to do? I'm sure she would be relatively easy to sell with Caso at foot and you could restart with a clean slate. The important thing is not to think you have failed in any way, this situation wasn't what you signed up for and you are doing your best but if it's going to continue causing you ongoing stress it's going to take away the joy of horse ownership for you for the foreseeable future so I would question whether this is what you want.

 

[Slightlyconfused]

My yo just picked up her almost unhandled yearling from stud and manhandled it onto the lorry with a calm experienced horse to bring home.

My now-3yo was sedated to travel to me, as he had to get on a transporter lorry at a set time. I'm just now getting round to teaching him how to load as he has no idea what happened.

It can be done. Are you really feeling like you want an "out" because I think if you advertised as a young mare not lorry trained I doubt it was be off-putting to the right people.

My sisters youngster when he was 18 months old was sedated, blindfolded with a pair of jeans and reversed into a trailer to travel home.
He had never been loaded, only lightly handled and refused to get on the lorry and then trailer.
Irish vet came out who comes from a breeding family and suggested the above as it's what they to to tricky loaders, though not with a pair of jeans.


It will come.

 

[paddy555]

CI as the problem is accommodation can you renegotiate the terms of your livery. Can you get sole use of a field (however small ) for say 5 months. Obviously this will inconvenience the YO but if you make it financially worth their while could they consider it. Problem would then be solved for the time being.

 

[Caol Ila]

It would. Everything would be less stressful if I knew (a) my horses would be kept safe (the TB is fine, for the most part... I'm watching them on my camera and they generally act like a little family...If I'm not doing anything stupid, he respectfully keeps to whatever distance Hermosa allows. I think if they stayed with him, we would be alright, but I have many, many doubts about the herd of seven ten minutes up the road...) and (b) they would not have to move in October due to winter turn-out faff. My horse has moved three times since the beginning of March. I feel like it's super unfair on her to move again, and then move yet again a few months later. Obviously neither me nor YO expected this or wanted this, but ultimately it's the horse who has the sh1ttest time.

 

[Millie-Rose]

My *yearling* leads well, knows me inside out and likes doing things that involve learning and I STILL haven't gone out of the field gate with her in case I lose her the reason we're doing lorry training now is so I can move fields, to a field we could walk to across the village... not going to take that chance. I agree that trying to lead a green mare with foal toddling around up a road is setting yourself up for potential disaster. Hopefully the YO will agree to pop the other horse back and leave your 2 in peace with the sheep.

Same here mine is a week or so older than Hera. Due to some vet issues she's had a lot of stable time/ handling. I have to cross a small lane between her stable and field and she's been in a lorry by herself on a long journey to Rossdales and dealt with that fine including leading across a strange yard and into a pretty unwelcoming stable but I still wouldn't want to try and lead her any distance on a public road even with her calm companion just in case!

 

[tristar]

CI. DO NOT LET YO PRESSURE YOU IN PUTTING THEM OUT WITH THE HERD!

this in buckets

 

[Caol Ila]

OH went to yard today on his own. He said Hermosa walked straight up to him for treat/headcollar. He took it on and off a few times. He noted that she's become very bonded to the old TB. Said they were grooming each other at one point.

If she can stay put and YO keeps her in her little family with son and old TB until Caso is weaned, then we'll be alright. If she demands major horse reshuffles, then it's not so good.

 

[Sandstone1]

Lovely photo.

 

[hobo]

Beautiful picture and you sound much more positive OH seems to have the magic touch which is good.

 

[Caol Ila]

Had a long chat with OH today about the swings and roundabouts of everything. The potential instability of Hermosa's living situation is pants. Very pants. The delay on our training is not ideal but not terrible, given her age. OH thinks she's fantastic.

But I admitted that when things are going well with Hermosa -- between the moves and the yard management fails and the raging new mom hormones -- they are awesome. I love how light she is. I love how smart she is. I love how once she learns a cue, you can breathe or flick a finger and she does the thing. I love how it feels like driving a Ferrari (having never driven one, but taking a guess based on watching Top Gear). And she's got a sweeeeeeet trot and canter. At this second, I want a Toyota to potter around the park, but I really, really don't want to lose the Ferrari. I can keep two. That was always the plan because I thought Gypsum would rally and hang in there for some time when I bought Hermosa. So I'm looking out for my Toyota. But I really like the Ferrari.

 

[Fraggle2]

Sounds like you have an idea (not going to say plan as they always go wrong) going forward and that your starting to take the pressure off of yourself. Plus don't think your oh is going to let Hermosa go anywhere ?

 

[littleshetland]

Hermosa is a PRE, and I'd l just thought I'd chuck in my thoughts about PRE's at this point. They look like Ferraris, but given the right handling and work (which I'm sure you're capable of) they can be just like trusty old Toyotas. Yes, they can be 'hot' but not necessarily in a negative way, they're clever and brave too......just saying.

 

[windand rain]

I am pleased you want to keep your ferrari and perhaps having a ridden horse will take your mind off Hermosa she is beautiful, will be a wonderful made horse once her training is over, as she has presence and the movement you want. I would play it by ear about the foal too you may well want to keep him too once you don't see it all as a gigantic brick wall to climb. It hasn't been an ideal start but you need to see it as a very small blip in 25 years of caring for her whats a few months with so much goodness ahead

 

[tristar]

i wish we could wave a wand and make is all easier, the uncertainty of the situation is stealing the joy of the moment, at least you did not have months of waiting for the birth and its over, the worst bit is done, and you have a lovely healthy baby, a famous vet i once knew thought it was a good idea to let a young mare have a foal, and i`ve always handled my foals from birth, full on the works, every time you put our hands on that foal he will know your smell and it will bring trust between you, loads of handling get a scratchy brush on that rump and you will have a friend for life, touching, restraining leading, i have never let my foals become wild, the foal slips with a short tag for catching and leading are a great thing

lucky the oh is so on board, my fusions are anywhere between old dobbin and winged unicorns according to how i feed them, ride them,so you will surely have both in one horse, someday and sooner than you think, your biggest problem is the yard uncertainty and all the stresses of not being able to control all decisions around management, that would do in anyone`s head hope it sorts itself out soon.

 

[fidleyspromise]

Wow, what a roller coaster for you. Hermosa and Caso are lovely. I know how deadlines feel and the pressure is immense - I only had a feral 3yr old to deal with that needed to be moved from quarantine to my other mares paddock about a minutes walk away. That minute felt unachievable with a mare that had never been led.
My method teaching her was likely unorthodox and I dare say lots would look down on me for it but I got there. (She's now 14). There have been lots of ups and downs, tears and laughter but I wouldn't change our time together.

Relax and spend your time with your babies. You will be OK. They look like a lovely little family.

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

CI for what it's worth I think you are coping incredibly well with all that's been thrown at you. Once you are more relaxed I'm sure that Caso will be more comfortable allowing you near....you know what horses are like for picking up on moods etc...even itty bitty foals..!!
I'd sooner deal with a slightly under handled foal than a bratty over handled one any day of the week.

 

[maya2008]

That sounds like a great plan! It takes the pressure off Hermosa and you.

 

[Caol Ila]

After a few days of being chilled with us approaching her and giving her a bit of fuss, she’s spooky as a spooky thing today. It was tricky to get near her, which I managed. She was also spooking at tractors, someone riding in the arena, and anything else she could find. Foal wasn’t helping. He thought spooking at everything was today’s agenda, and when he spooked and ran off, she ran after him. Mom and son were winding each other up. Old TB was standing around like, you weirdos.

Who is this horse and what happened to the one that nonchalantly strolled past tractors, pigs, etc.? Will I get that one back in six months? Could it be a foal heat? Gypsum used to get a personality transplant when she was in season.

Once she let me near, I gave her some scritches and a treat and then left them to it. Is that right?

 

[Errin Paddywack]

Foal heat is usually about 5 days after birth, does that fit? Sounds very much like hormones.

 

[Roxylola]

I think your approach is right, to go say hi then leave them to it for sure. She'll come round and settle again soon enough

 

[meleeka]

What’s your weather like? Mine have gone a bit loopy because of the rain.

 

[CanteringCarrot]

Could be foal heat, could just be a Spanish horse ?

Did you have a weather change? Mine can also be a bit odd when the weather changes.

 

[Caol Ila]

It’s been windy since forever.

Increasingly tempted to contact her breeder. Send a message with a photo saying “This happened. I would really to find out who the sire is so he can have a full BAPSH fusion passport. BAPSH knows about this, and they’ll be in touch about what they need off your colts.”

What do you guys reckon?

 

[The Fuzzy Furry]

CI, yes they do have their moments and you were wise to ignore it but just go in at the end to scratch. She will come back, honestly x

I agree its worth writing or emailing them now, almost exactly as you have put above., but no photo, just start with:
Hi, I was rather surprised to find my 3yr old filly was in foal. She has produced a lovely colt.
Please advise me as to who the sire is so my colt can have a full BAPSH fusion passport. BAPSH knows about this, and they’ll be in touch about what they need off your colts.

Dont go via text or messenger etc.

 

[FlyingCircus]

I think the message might be a bit confrontational for someone you want to comply with what you're asking (even though it is well deserved!).

I'd go with something like:
Hi x. We have recently had a very big surprise - Hermosa was in foal! I'm keen to register him as full fushion. Would you be able to let me know which colts could have done the deed and work with BAPSH (who will be in contact), to help me get him registered.

Doesn't matter if she claims he is hers, or that you need to pay extra or whatever. She doesn't have a leg to stand on, so the nicely nicely approach is more likely to get you what you want than if you go in all guns blazing. If she feels put upon/like she has lost out, she is less inclined to be helpful.

 

[The Fuzzy Furry]

I think the message might be a bit confrontational for someone you want to comply with what you're asking (even though it is well deserved!).

I'd go with something like:
Hi x. We have recently had a very big surprise - Hermosa was in foal! I'm keen to register him as full fushion. Would you be able to let me know which colts could have done the deed and work with BAPSH (who will be in contact), to help me get him registered.

Doesn't matter if she claims he is hers, or that you need to pay extra or whatever. She doesn't have a leg to stand on, so the nicely nicely approach is more likely to get you what you want than if you go in all guns blazing. If she feels put upon/like she has lost out, she is less inclined to be helpful.

Yes, agreed, I'm just feeling v grr this evening (gawd help trolls later!)

 

[Caol Ila]

Would you add dates? It’s not like I knew about this pregnancy for the last two months and didn’t contact her.

I’ve been advised by OH that the blunt American approach isn’t always ideal when you want British people to do things.

 

[maya2008]

My TB (retired, should know better) was running around all over the place and setting the others off today. No apparent reason…so maybe weather?

 

[ycbm]

I get that you are angry and upset CI, but wasn't the stud completely up front about her having run with colts last year? I think that needs softening up a lot, if that's correct.
.

 

[Sandstone1]

Would you add dates? It’s not like I knew about this pregnancy for the last two months and didn’t contact her.

I’ve been advised by OH that the blunt American approach isn’t always ideal when you want British people to do things.

A more polite approach will get you further, also if you were aware she was with colts last year you must have known there was at least a small chance she could be in foal? Its nature after all, colts will be colts and even if it was her sire that got her its what stallions do!
I hope it all turns out ok for you but personally I wouldnt be laying down the law to her breeder.