EventingMum
Well-Known Member
I understand this is very hard and is causing you stress which isn't pleasant. From an outsider's perspective, it seems like there are several issues, all of which combined are making things much worse for you.
Firstly, Hermosa wasn't as well handled as you had hoped, you were working on this then discovered she was in foal. In your shoes I would continue handling her but forget about any further "training", If she is happy to have a headcollar on and a brush over, for now that's good. You did mention her feet needing attention so I would quietly work away with handling her legs. Anything else can wait until Caso is weaned.
I personally like to handle my foals gently from early on but appreciate this may not be easy in a field. Mine tended to come in to a big stable for a short time and the foals generally become quite inquisitive when I was brushing the mares and so it was never a big deal to give them a little scratch or brush too, building up to touching them all over and picking up feet at a few weeks old. They also got introduced to wearing a foal slip for a short period early on and being lead with an arm around the quarters. I never attach a lead rope to the foal slip until they are a good bit older, I just loop the rope through it so if they did pull away I hold one end and the lead rope becomes free and isn't left trailing.
The other horse in the field probably isn't helping but equally, you can't demand it be removed as it's not your yard and the YO has had to come to terms with the situation thrust upon her in the same way you have. I would seriously look at any studs that might have livery available for a mare and foal, that way hopefully, you could get knowledgeable support and advice and it might make the weaning process less stressful for you too. It doesn't have to be a long term livery yard for you so even if it's a bit further away it may only need to be until after weaning. Obviously, the travelling is a concern for you but perhaps the stud or an experienced transporter would be able to help in that respect.
I honestly think you have raised a lot of questions as to whether you want to keep Hermosa long term. she wasn't what you thought you were buying initially in terms of her handling etc and then to be in foal was the last thing you expected. This wasn't what you expected and has caused you so much stress and worry. Yes, she's gorgeous but is that enough to make you want to keep her? You are missing riding and will have to wait a good while until she is ready to do what you want to. You say you might regret selling her but if it allowed you to purchase a horse that you could enjoy riding and become fully invested in it would take so much stress away and give you much more pleasure plus you could return to your old yard. I do wonder if keeping her is what you think is the right thing to do rather than what you really want to do? I'm sure she would be relatively easy to sell with Caso at foot and you could restart with a clean slate. The important thing is not to think you have failed in any way, this situation wasn't what you signed up for and you are doing your best but if it's going to continue causing you ongoing stress it's going to take away the joy of horse ownership for you for the foreseeable future so I would question whether this is what you want.
Firstly, Hermosa wasn't as well handled as you had hoped, you were working on this then discovered she was in foal. In your shoes I would continue handling her but forget about any further "training", If she is happy to have a headcollar on and a brush over, for now that's good. You did mention her feet needing attention so I would quietly work away with handling her legs. Anything else can wait until Caso is weaned.
I personally like to handle my foals gently from early on but appreciate this may not be easy in a field. Mine tended to come in to a big stable for a short time and the foals generally become quite inquisitive when I was brushing the mares and so it was never a big deal to give them a little scratch or brush too, building up to touching them all over and picking up feet at a few weeks old. They also got introduced to wearing a foal slip for a short period early on and being lead with an arm around the quarters. I never attach a lead rope to the foal slip until they are a good bit older, I just loop the rope through it so if they did pull away I hold one end and the lead rope becomes free and isn't left trailing.
The other horse in the field probably isn't helping but equally, you can't demand it be removed as it's not your yard and the YO has had to come to terms with the situation thrust upon her in the same way you have. I would seriously look at any studs that might have livery available for a mare and foal, that way hopefully, you could get knowledgeable support and advice and it might make the weaning process less stressful for you too. It doesn't have to be a long term livery yard for you so even if it's a bit further away it may only need to be until after weaning. Obviously, the travelling is a concern for you but perhaps the stud or an experienced transporter would be able to help in that respect.
I honestly think you have raised a lot of questions as to whether you want to keep Hermosa long term. she wasn't what you thought you were buying initially in terms of her handling etc and then to be in foal was the last thing you expected. This wasn't what you expected and has caused you so much stress and worry. Yes, she's gorgeous but is that enough to make you want to keep her? You are missing riding and will have to wait a good while until she is ready to do what you want to. You say you might regret selling her but if it allowed you to purchase a horse that you could enjoy riding and become fully invested in it would take so much stress away and give you much more pleasure plus you could return to your old yard. I do wonder if keeping her is what you think is the right thing to do rather than what you really want to do? I'm sure she would be relatively easy to sell with Caso at foot and you could restart with a clean slate. The important thing is not to think you have failed in any way, this situation wasn't what you signed up for and you are doing your best but if it's going to continue causing you ongoing stress it's going to take away the joy of horse ownership for you for the foreseeable future so I would question whether this is what you want.