Vegan boyfriend...and hunting....

Cinnamontoast

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Goodness girl!

Put on the doc martens, go out and buy a burger and tell him you are going hunting and he can either deal with it or push off.

Totally, but I fear some people would rather change their lifestyle than lose the oh so precious partner. :rolleyes3:

Controlling partners are very difficult to get rid of, they’re often very manipulative and disguise their controlling behaviour as wanting the best for their partner or ‘improving’ their lives. ‘I’m doing this for your own good, darling’. Tell him to get lost, OP. He’s already stopped you wearing your boots, what’s next?

Having caged rodents totally negates all of his vegan aspirations. IMO, that’s far worse behaviour for a vegan than hunting the clean boot. I’m sorry, OP, he sounds like an idiot. How can he possibly frown on you schooling the horse yet cage up a bunch of rodents? Massive dichotomy. Massive d*ck.

I'm really sorry to say this, but I would need to physically witness the successful re-homing of any Hounds, before I believed what I read. How many Police Dogs would make for successful Guide Dogs? …. any ideas anyone?

Alec.

The OH gets the emails about police dogs needing a new home. He reads them out to me: ‘Rover needs a new home now he is retiring aged 8. Rover has bitten his handler several times and cannot be re-homed with small animals or children’.

Lots of handlers keep their old dogs whilst training up a new dog. No idea why ‘Rover’ needs a new home. :rollseyes3:
 
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FinkleyAlex

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I’m finding this an interesting read. I think ultimately relationships come down to acceptance and give and take. I’m vegetarian and my partner is a meatlover - our food is kept in the same fridge, he is happy to cook some veggie meals, I’m happy to cook some neutral meals and he can add meat to his. I don’t wear leather or fur but I’m not vegan. My partner knows not to buy me things with leather/fur but I don’t chastise him for buying new leather shoes - that’s his choice. Likewise I couldn’t care less if he ate a steak for dinner - his choice. I have to say that I wouldn’t be happy if he wanted to go real hunting (couldn’t care less if he wanted to go drag hunting), and out of consideration for me he probably wouldn’t do it. Likewise if there was something he felt very strongly about I wouldn’t do it out of consideration for him. However the difference in your situation is that there doesn’t seem to be much give and take. He needs to accept that you aren’t vegan and should be able to enjoy your life without digs and comments, you need to accept that he is vegan and consider whether there are certain things you’re willing to give up as a compromise (and it should only be certain things, otherwise you’ll be giving too much).
 

Boulty

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If Bloodhounds are who you'd like to go out with and so the only thing you'd be "hunting" is people / the clean boot then could he perhaps be persuaded to come to a meet as a foot follower with you, watch what goes on and ask any questions? (If the pack you're wanting to go with has a decent website explaining how they operate this may be a useful tool to show him?) At the end of the day it's your life and your interests and he should not be able to exert total control over that but by the same token if he really feels that strongly and is so genuinely offended / upset by the idea then if you went ahead with him still totally against the idea then yes you are going to put a lot of strain on your relationship.
 
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hackneylass2

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Hunting the clean boot is a lot of fun. Mind you, the real question here is that you have come on here to ask about your partner's attitude. IMO veggies and omnis can live together if both give and take. Vegans who are committed would be harder to live with, eg, does he drive a car, what tyres are on his car? As far as I know only Michelin produce vegan tyres. Does he know that steel is not vegan? Sweetsa too? I was shocked a few weeks ago as a Muslim friend would not eat Haribo sweets as alchohol is used in the manufacturing process! Tiny amounts yes, but for someone who is devout its a no go.
My advice is this. Find yourself a partner who is more compatible with you, one who you don't have to come on a forum to ask opinions about. There's someone for everyone! In the meantime, find a bloodhound pack and have some fun.
 

tallyho!

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He's against everything I do with my horse, right down to the leather on my tack! Trouble is horse came after the boyfriend and when I met him, I was having a break from horses because of some health issues so my hobby was never an issue until I decided I was right enough to buy myself a horse of my very own. We have been together for 2 years but we really have hit a point where it's testing me

FFS do yourself and him a favour and leave already! :D
 

blitznbobs

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Bloke that respects animals but has no respect for you or your wishes so why is he with you? So that he can change you into something you're not? And why are you with him, so you can let him tell you how to live for the rest of time? The question you should be asking is why are you so scared to be on your own?
 

stencilface

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I’m finding this an interesting read. I think ultimately relationships come down to acceptance and give and take. I’m vegetarian and my partner is a meatlover - our food is kept in the same fridge, he is happy to cook some veggie meals, I’m happy to cook some neutral meals and he can add meat to his. I don’t wear leather or fur but I’m not vegan. My partner knows not to buy me things with leather/fur but I don’t chastise him for buying new leather shoes - that’s his choice. Likewise I couldn’t care less if he ate a steak for dinner - his choice. I have to say that I wouldn’t be happy if he wanted to go real hunting (couldn’t care less if he wanted to go drag hunting), and out of consideration for me he probably wouldn’t do it. Likewise if there was something he felt very strongly about I wouldn’t do it out of consideration for him. However the difference in your situation is that there doesn’t seem to be much give and take. He needs to accept that you aren’t vegan and should be able to enjoy your life without digs and comments, you need to accept that he is vegan and consider whether there are certain things you’re willing to give up as a compromise (and it should only be certain things, otherwise you’ll be giving too much).


I'm glad someone else lives similarly to me, I'm veggie he's meaty. Sometimes I feel I don't have enough courage in my conviction but your post makes me feel that perhaps both us and our ohs are both live and let live types.

A friend gave me a vegan cookbook for Christmas, and it inspired me to sign up for veganuary. I'm not going full vegan, but I'm going to try to convert as many meals as possible to bring vegan, breakfast will be easy to start with
 

Firefly9410

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He never told me to give anything up just pushed me to the point of giving them up with the comments I got anytime I did something. I stopped wearing my favourite pair of shoes (red doc martens) after all the comments I got when wearing them.

That right there is controlling behaviour. It looks to you like it was your choice to stop those things but it wasn't. Had you not been getting the comments you would have stayed as you were doing the things you always did. Things there was nothing wrong with you doing. You are already being controlled by him you cannot see it yet is all.

I have a vegan friend who lives with her non vegan family. Cooking is not a problem for her she cooks and stores food separately and never dictates what others eat. She has no problem with me being pro hunt wearing leather riding horses. We have not discussed it so maybe she does not like it but she does not comment on my life choices or try to convert me to veganism and I do not make comments about her choices either. It is called RESPECT.

You and your boyfriend are incompatible not only because of his vegan beliefs but due to his lack of respect for you and his belief that he has any right to put pressure on you to do what he wants.
 
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Firefly9410

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Not talking right this minute for hunting, but in the not so distant future, have started thinking about it now so that I can be settled on this situation sooner rather than later

You are living your life in such a way as to accommodate his moods and try to minimise any negativity directed towards you. It is not normal to have to do that.

Nor is it acceptable to have to justify your choices to him. An interested question asking why you want to go hunting and maybe a discussion about pro and anti hunting beliefs but it should be only a conversation not you fighting for your right to live life as you choose. You already have that right in UK law you do not have to fight anyone for it least of all him.
 

Sandstone1

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I'm really sorry to say this, but I would need to physically witness the successful re-homing of any Hounds, before I believed what I read. How many Police Dogs would make for successful Guide Dogs? …. any ideas anyone?

Alec.

I don't really see the point of what you are asking but quite a few guide dogs that don't make the grade for whatever reason have gone on to be police dogs, customs and excise dogs, prision service sniffer dogs as well as medical detection dogs etc.
They all have had the same early training.
Think there would soon be a huge outcry and rightly so if these dogs were all shot because they didn't make the grade!
 

Alec Swan

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Sandstone1 the analogy was meant to illustrate that there are breeds of dogs, and horses too for that matter, that when they've been bred to perform one specific task and as individuals, and importantly, they've fulfilled that roll, then a complete change of life and emphasis is generally bordering on the absurd and on occasion, it's cruel.

Just as Police Dogs would find the work of a Guide Dog a challenge, as would expecting them to perform the roll with any degree of success, so it's the same with bench kept Hounds which have lived a kennelled and pack existence, and to expect them to adjust to a domestic life whereby it would be unlikely that they could ever have their freedom would be considered by many to be unrealistic and all so often, with predictable results.

Alec.
 

Goldenstar

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I could never date a vegan it’s too odds with my belief of how the humans role in the world works .
Too be honest OP I would get hunting and change the boyfriend he has no right to seek to prevent you going something you want to do .
I loath people with beliefs who seek to amend the behaviour of those around them in line with their beliefs .
 

Sandstone1

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Sandstone1 the analogy was meant to illustrate that there are breeds of dogs, and horses too for that matter, that when they've been bred to perform one specific task and as individuals, and importantly, they've fulfilled that roll, then a complete change of life and emphasis is generally bordering on the absurd and on occasion, it's cruel.

Just as Police Dogs would find the work of a Guide Dog a challenge, as would expecting them to perform the roll with any degree of success, so it's the same with bench kept Hounds which have lived a kennelled and pack existence, and to expect them to adjust to a domestic life whereby it would be unlikely that they could ever have their freedom would be considered by many to be unrealistic and all so often, with predictable results.

Alec.

I can except that to a degree but I'm pointing out that some dogs that have been bred to be guide dogs and in some cases have done their early training do go on to do another jobs. As in police dogs, sniffer dogs etc.
As also quite a few retired race horses go on to to other jobs. I.e.
eventing,dressage,hacking and show jumping. Yes of course some don't take to it but a lot do.
Also ex racing greyhounds are often bought up in a kennel, not housetrained and taught to chase but lots of them are rehomed and make great pets.
Ex hunting beagles are also sometimes rehomed. Again bought up in kennels, taught to hunt as a pack, not housetrained but can and do learn to live as a pet. In fact I know one who's recently passed away after living as a pet for several years after being given to a pet home because he didn't want to hunt.
I'm not suggesting that all foxhounds could or should be rehomed and they would certainly make challenging pets but it wouldn't be impossible in the right hands.
I'm guessing it doesn't happen because hunts don't allow it to.
 

Flame_

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I really respect proper vegans and their across the board, total disapproval of the traditionally accepted practices of killing, eating, enslaving, using, etc of animals by humans, far more so than the half-arsed, hypocritical perspectives of most do-gooders who think the meat industry is fine because they love sausages but killing badgers is tight because they're cute and waddly, pest control is fine because rats are gross but killing foxes is cruel because posh people enjoy the activity of doing it, etc....

It's a very difficult stance to adopt and personally, I very much admire anyone who subscribes to it and lives by it, but it is an all or nothing mindset IMHO and if you can't get on board with it all, if you're anything like me and many others, because it would mean missing out on too many things that make you happy and would make you totally incompatible with most of society, I would tell him so, do what you please and let him chose either to disapprove but live with it, or do one.
 
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Cinnamontoast

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Given your seeming lack of knowledge on hunting the clean boot, OP, I’m not surprised he’s against. Have you actually bothered to do research? Had you told him from the outset that a trail is laid/humans are chased, I doubt he would have objected so strongly.
 

Goldenstar

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I really respect proper vegans and their across the board, total disapproval of the traditionally accepted practices of killing, eating, enslaving, using, etc of animals by humans, far more so than the half-arsed, hypocritical perspectives of most do-gooders who think the meat industry is fine because they love sausages but killing badgers is tight because they're cute and waddly, pest control is fine because rats are gross but killing foxes is cruel because posh people enjoy the activity of doing it, etc....

It's a very difficult stance to adopt and personally, I very much admire anyone who subscribes to it and lives by it, but it is an all or nothing mindset IMHO and if you can't get on board with it all, if you're anything like me and many others, because it would mean missing out on too many things that make you happy and would make you totally incompatible with most of society, I would tell him so, do what you please and let him chose either to disapprove but live with it, or do one.

Do you admire them I don’t , I think they refuse acknowledge the essence of being human which is we are animals just like any other just a bit clever and better at manipulating our environment .
I admire more those who treat animals who we are going to eat or use in some way in truly ethical ways far more .
 

Alec Swan

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I really respect proper vegans and their across the board, total disapproval of the traditionally accepted practices of killing, eating, enslaving, using, etc of animals by humans, far more so than the half-arsed, hypocritical perspectives of most do-gooders who think the meat industry is fine because they love sausages but killing badgers is tight because they're cute and waddly, pest control is fine because rats are gross but killing foxes is cruel because posh people enjoy the activity of doing it, etc....

It's a very difficult stance to adopt and personally, I very much admire anyone who subscribes to it and lives by it, but it is an all or nothing mindset IMHO and if you can't get on board with it all, if you're anything like me and many others, because it would mean missing out on too many things that make you happy and would make you totally incompatible with most of society, I would tell him so, do what you please and let him chose either to disapprove but live with it, or do one.

A remarkable and incisive post and I too have an admiration of those with principles (however balmy to the rest of us) and then stick to them.

What the 'average'-what ever that may be-vegan, generally fails to understand or even accept is that those who manage animals, generally-though-not-always are those who understand the animal and provide for its welfare and to the best of their abilities.

Alec.
 

popsdosh

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I'm not suggesting that all foxhounds could or should be rehomed and they would certainly make challenging pets but it wouldn't be impossible in the right hands.
I'm guessing it doesn't happen because hunts don't allow it to.
Im afraid it would be a lot more challenging than you ever imagine! A good example are hound pups who are sent out to various families and those mentally challenged enough to take them ;-) For what is called puppy walking! lovely cute pups turn up normally a pair(as they are twice the fun) . This is for them to get used to life around them and to get used to some basics . Even starting with the raw material I would suggest that a very high proportion of walkers cannot wait for the huntsman to come and take them away a few months later they just dont settle into a domestic environment and can cause havoc the more so as they get older. So it has nothing to do with basic training it is nature overcoming Nurture.
It can work but more often than not it wont.
 

Alec Swan

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Im afraid it would be a lot more challenging than you ever imagine! A good example are hound pups who are sent out to various families and those mentally challenged enough to take them ;-) For what is called puppy walking! lovely cute pups turn up normally a pair(as they are twice the fun) . This is for them to get used to life around them and to get used to some basics . Even starting with the raw material I would suggest that a very high proportion of walkers cannot wait for the huntsman to come and take them away a few months later they just dont settle into a domestic environment and can cause havoc the more so as they get older. So it has nothing to do with basic training it is nature overcoming Nurture.
It can work but more often than not it wont.

…. and then of course, perhaps we should consider the adult Hound who's been handed over to the well intentioned but totally un-prepared person who whilst naively though well intentioned, hasn't a clue what they're doing.

Can we imagine the situation? 7-8 years old, fresh out of kennels, let's assume that they've got through the first night of Strumpet in the kitchen, or God forbid the lounge, had they considered house-training? The Master had, had the adopter considered the distress to the Hound so caused by removing it from its environment, the one that it knew and understood? The Master had, he had more respect for his hound and considered it better that Strumpet met an immediate and instant end, rather than suffer an all but certain and miserable future.

Alec.
 

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Our development as a species was accelerated when we began living by the sea and started to eat fish so we didn't have to spend all out time gathering nuts and berries. I think you should suggest to your bf that he lives on nuts and berries etc that he gathers himself as clearly most food in the shops is produced by non vegans and is therefore "tainted", go hunting (but learn to ride your pony first so you don't kill yourself) and wear your red doc martins with pride as a cow died to make them for you. IMHE long term relationships are difficult enough when both people hold similar beliefs and values, even then you need huge dollops of generosity and compromise, yours sadly seems to have none of these things and sounds DOOMED! Happy New year!
 

Alec Swan

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Do vegans take modern medicines?
How about vaccines that have been animal tested?

…. never thought of that, and so logically, we could ask "Do vegans generally make old age or are they doomed to early funerals? - it wouldn't surprise me". :D

My apologies to any vegans present. :wink3:

Alec.
 

Sandstone1

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Im afraid it would be a lot more challenging than you ever imagine! A good example are hound pups who are sent out to various families and those mentally challenged enough to take them ;-) For what is called puppy walking! lovely cute pups turn up normally a pair(as they are twice the fun) . This is for them to get used to life around them and to get used to some basics . Even starting with the raw material I would suggest that a very high proportion of walkers cannot wait for the huntsman to come and take them away a few months later they just dont settle into a domestic environment and can cause havoc the more so as they get older. So it has nothing to do with basic training it is nature overcoming Nurture.
It can work but more often than not it wont.

I appreciate they would certainly be a handful and not for everyone. My point is that dogs and horses can and do go on to do other jobs other than the one they were bred for.
If you think that every animal should be shot when not doing the job it was bred for there will be a hell of a lot of dead animals.
 

Peter7917

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There is a woman near me who has a retired fox hound. He seems happy enough. She walks him and her other dogs around this big lake. I can hear the bloody thing the entire way round even if I'm the other side; it's so vocal!!

Likewise where I hunted in Ireland, the huntsmasters daughter has one of the hounds as a pet that lives in the house.
 
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