would you let a pregnant friend ride your horse?

I think the point being missed to a certain extent is that unborn babies are remarkably tough survive car crashes falls kicks and other violence perpetrated on the mother. Some simply are not meant to be and will go no matter how careful the mother is. So although there are some horses I wouldn't advise riding and for my own peace of mind I didn't ride. It is a matter of choice. The rub comes when the baby is lost shortly after riding because it was never meant to be in the first place and this is where the guilt and sorrow overrides common sense
 
If they were a competent rider and rode my horse on a regular basis then yes I would. I would make sure they fully appreciate the risks and go into it with their eyes open, but then it's up to them.
And I might be a horrible person but I wouldn't feel exactly guilty if they fell off my horse. I would be devastated if my friend were hurt, be it while riding my horse or somebody else's horse or in a car accident or falling over their dog at home etc, etc, but I wouldn't feel responsible, if you see what I mean. It might be MY horse, but it's THEIR informed decision to ride it. I wouldn't feel guilty if they slipped on the pebbles in MY yard or tripped over MY threshold either. That's life for you.
 
In the case of a novice rider, who has only ridden a handful of times, I would be sitting down and discussing with them and the father of the child the risks involved. My pony (who is very sensible) is the only one I let others ride anyway, and is very well behaved. If I only had a green cob or a horse they didn't get on with I would be very wary about letting them ride anyway, although would do if they weren't pregnant. I feel if its something you are not used to doing, it is too much stress on the body, you wouldn't after all take up running whilst pregnant.
We had a girl at work who rode up to quite late she then had a tumble when the horse tripped over, and they wouldn't let her ride after that. They were also careful about what ground work she did.
One of my friends had a difficult pregnancy, she turned her youngster away when she discovered she was pregnant, but continued to ride her older mare for a while. She had problems and stopped. As a friend, when she tried to hop on her horse for a saddle fitting late on in the pregnancy, she was overruled, on grounds that her husband wouldn't forgive any of us if she had an accident. I will say though that she also got the riot act read to her when she tried to climb under fencing, lug water containers or push a wheelbarrow, as we felt she shouldn't be doing so. Normally I wouldn't be so protective, but she didn't have an easy time.
 
As the sister of someone who has miscarried three times, and seen the utter devastation caused by each one, I would have to say no, just for my own peace of mind and a healthy dose of "Catholic" guilt. If someone wants to ride when pregnant I agree it is their choice but I wouldn't want any association with the risk. An unborn child is a life, it isn't like a broken bone that will eventually mend.
 
the different views are very interesting :) I don't think there is necessarily a right or wrong answer, I'd already made my decision(twice lol), was just interested to hear others thoughts. :)
 
I wouldn't. I wouldn't want blame apportioned to me or my girl if something went wrong. I think it's logical to say that it's the woman's choice and the woman who must deal with the consequences but does logic play a major part when someone miscarries? A friend of mine has miscarried five times and although she is logical and rational, she has stated that this happened because she did not take enough vitamin b, that she had half a glass of wine at a bbq, and went over some deep ruts in a tractor. I think this is unlikely but she needs something to be responsible. I wouldn't want my decision or my horse's behaviour to be on the receiving end of this, despite understanding it.

The glass of wine analogy doesn't really apply as the science suggests that alcohol has a cumulative effect in pregnancy, so one glass is unlikely to do any harm. One ride and one fall can absolutely do harm. I wouldn't give the wine either for the reasons given above 're responsibility, but I don't think the two are comparable.

Good thread!
 
No, I wouldn't.

I rode until I was 7 1/2 months pregancy. On my horse I'd had for 7 years. Someone offered for me to ride their horse and I said no.

I did have a miscarriage in my 1st pregnancy (at 6-7 weeks) and was so upset because I thought it had happened due to the fact I'd been riding. My dr told me that the chances were my baby was not viable. So I chose to ride in my 2nd pregancy as I've always ridden and obviously not taking it up during pregnancy.

I simply would not be happy for a pregnant woman to ride my horse, if something did happen & she fell off I would feel terrible. We don't know what sort of a rider this woman is but it sounds to me like she's a bit of a novice (helping out at the yard etc.) and therefore not a good enough rider.

If she had her own horse, then fair enough, it is her choice, just as it is for the OP's to say no.
 
Another way I would put it, is would those people who wouldn't allow a pregnant woman to ride, because they would feel guilty if anything happened to the unborn baby, feel guilty if that person were not pregnant, fell off, and died or got seriously hurt? My guess is you would. Therefore why not stop anyone riding your horse full stop? I'm guessing the answer that would come back is 'because it's their choice and their risk'.
 
Moomin1 said:
Another way I would put it, is would those people who wouldn't allow a pregnant woman to ride, because they would feel guilty if anything happened to the unborn baby, feel guilty if that person were not pregnant, fell off, and died or got seriously hurt? My guess is you would. Therefore why not stop anyone riding your horse full stop? I'm guessing the answer that would come back is 'because it's their choice and their risk'.
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Your pushing this really strongly. I personally am really picky about people riding my horse- my instructor of 4 years, and I've had him 8, has only at on him twice, so the answer is probably that, yes I would stop anyone else riding my horse.
If people aren't comfortable with a pregnant women riding their horse, that's their prerogative. If people are happy to allow others to ride their horse, that's also their prerogative.
Its more the moral aspect of it that most people are concerned with I feel. If someone fell off and someone died (either a child or the women) I'd feel horribly guilty whether it was my fault or not if it was my horse. There would be, for me at least a moral responsibility for those lives lost and I can't risk that- it would destroy me.
 
I rode up until the very end of my pregnancy, on my own horse. But no, I would't let a pregnant friend ride my horses. It is not that I think they shouldn't, but as many have said, I couldn't live knowing it was my horse they were on board if anything went wrong.

I would however pour her a small glass of wine.
 
DiNozzo said:
Your pushing this really strongly. I personally am really picky about people riding my horse- my instructor of 4 years, and I've had him 8, has only at on him twice, so the answer is probably that, yes I would stop anyone else riding my horse.
If people aren't comfortable with a pregnant women riding their horse, that's their prerogative. If people are happy to allow others to ride their horse, that's also their prerogative.
Its more the moral aspect of it that most people are concerned with I feel. If someone fell off and someone died (either a child or the women) I'd feel horribly guilty whether it was my fault or not if it was my horse. There would be, for me at least a moral responsibility for those lives lost and I can't risk that- it would destroy me.
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Oh don't get me wrong, I am super super careful who gets on my horse. Only one other person does, and that's my instructor who is extremely experienced and capable. I am just trying to grasp what concepts people have of the different scenarios, because for me, I don't see any difference in someone falling off resulting in a death whilst pregnant, or whilst not. They are both lives.
 
Moomin1 said:
Another way I would put it, is would those people who wouldn't allow a pregnant woman to ride, because they would feel guilty if anything happened to the unborn baby, feel guilty if that person were not pregnant, fell off, and died or got seriously hurt? My guess is you would. Therefore why not stop anyone riding your horse full stop? I'm guessing the answer that would come back is 'because it's their choice and their risk'.
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I suppose ultimately it comes down to whether you feel that the unborn baby is a person in its own right or only a part of the pregnant lady until it's born and viable. If the former, I guess you can't discuss the risks and rewards with the unborn child as you can with mum to be. Furthermore presumably mum to be wouldn't want to be on a lead rein, which most people would do to mitigate risk to a small child or other human who isn't capable of making a decision 're their safety.

I'm not commenting on my view on this as I do think it's very personal and anyway I haven't really given it the required level of thought; just my take on why allowing a pregnant lady to ride might be different than the scenario you outlined.
 
Moomin1 said:
Oh don't get me wrong, I am super super careful who gets on my horse. Only one other person does, and that's my instructor who is extremely experienced and capable. I am just trying to grasp what concepts people have of the different scenarios, because for me, I don't see any difference in someone falling off resulting in a death whilst pregnant, or whilst not. They are both lives.
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I agree with you in that the two aren't different. However it is more likely for a fall to kill an unborn baby than a reasonably competent adult. Like I said, I see it as a risk assessment. If the likelihood of death/serious injury is higher, then I would say no. No one other than me takes my horse XC for example. But if a fall for a pregnant woman has a higher risk of injury/death to the unborn child then yes I would see it as a higher risk and not allow the woman to ride my horse.

I have turned down letting a friend of mine ride my horse as she is epileptic. To me that is a huge risk factor (she does have regular seizures and has been found face down in a field). My auntie loves to ride, but has a bad back injury - I wouldn't let her on my horse either. My sister didn't get to ride him with a broken wrist. I wouldn't allow any novice on him.

It's not about the pregnancy and the emotional side for me, but the risk factors.
 
SadKen said:
I suppose ultimately it comes down to whether you feel that the unborn baby is a person in its own right or only a part of the pregnant lady until it's born and viable. If the former, I guess you can't discuss the risks and rewards with the unborn child as you can with mum to be. Furthermore presumably mum to be wouldn't want to be on a lead rein, which most people would do to mitigate risk to a small child or other human who isn't capable of making a decision 're their safety.

I'm not commenting on my view on this as I do think it's very personal and anyway I haven't really given it the required level of thought; just my take on why allowing a pregnant lady to ride might be different than the scenario you outlined.
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Because the unborn child is the responsibility of the mother, who presumably (in most cases) would be a sane, responsible, balanced minded adult. It is down to them to make the choices with regard to their unborn child, with the father also.

Being 23 weeks pregnant myself, I am just saying that it really is not down to anybody but me and my OH to make any decisions with regard risk to our baby. My baby cannot make decisions for itself, therefore we make decisions for it. If my next door neighbour turned around and started trying to tell me what I can and can't do during pregnancy, he would get told where to go!

But as I say, every horse owner has the right to do as they wish with their horse. Therefore if they wish to tell someone they cannot ride their horse, then fine, the pregnant woman has to accept that. I personally think it's overstepping the mark myself. If my instructor (given that he is the only one who rides my horse, knows her, and what she is capable of, and is a competent rider) was female, and told me that they were pregnant but still wanted to continue to ride my horse, then I grant them with the respect, as a responsible adult, to make that choice themselves, given that they have already been riding my horse for a while and know her. Of course, if Joe Blogg's daughter from down the road, who had never sat on a horse, never met my horse, and was five months pregnant, wanted a ride...I would undoubtedly say no. But I would say no anyway, pregnant or not....
 
khalswitz said:
I agree with you in that the two aren't different. However it is more likely for a fall to kill an unborn baby than a reasonably competent adult. Like I said, I see it as a risk assessment. If the likelihood of death/serious injury is higher, then I would say no. No one other than me takes my horse XC for example. But if a fall for a pregnant woman has a higher risk of injury/death to the unborn child then yes I would see it as a higher risk and not allow the woman to ride my horse.

I have turned down letting a friend of mine ride my horse as she is epileptic. To me that is a huge risk factor (she does have regular seizures and has been found face down in a field). My auntie loves to ride, but has a bad back injury - I wouldn't let her on my horse either. My sister didn't get to ride him with a broken wrist. I wouldn't allow any novice on him.

It's not about the pregnancy and the emotional side for me, but the risk factors.
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I do see your point, and don't entirely disagree with much of it. However, where do we draw the line? Do we stop pregnant women coming into our houses and going up the stairs, incase they slip on their way back down the stairs? It's just as likely, if not more likely, to happen than falling of a horse....
 
Llanali said:
I rode up until the very end of my pregnancy, on my own horse. But no, I would't let a pregnant friend ride my horses. It is not that I think they shouldn't, but as many have said, I couldn't live knowing it was my horse they were on board if anything went wrong.

I would however pour her a small glass of wine.
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C'mon, not wine, has to be bubbly, has to be. If you're not special and deserving when pregnant, when are you?'

Actually remembered I rode my friends advanced eventer when I was 20 + weeks pregnant, on a hack having never ridden him before, lol, we never even questioned it. She has just had a baby and rode til she was 39 weeks so although he's talented he's pretty straight.

I also skied when 8 weeks pregnant, and wake surfed when 27 weeks pregnant, but I felt great the whole way, barely noticed I was pregnant really.
 
Moomin1 said:
I do see your point, and don't entirely disagree with much of it. However, where do we draw the line? Do we stop pregnant women coming into our houses and going up the stairs, incase they slip on their way back down the stairs? It's just as likely, if not more likely, to happen than falling of a horse....
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My horse has thrown me off far more times than I've fallen down the stairs... so personally Ms Pregnant would not be getting on my horse. If I had a very safe horse that was bombproof to hack etc, and a safer bet than climbing the stairs, I might be more open to letting Ms Pregnant ride him. As I've never owned something I trusted enough (I seem to like the sharp ones), I don't know what I would decide to do with a reasonably safe horse, but I can imagine I may think differently.

Regarding letting Ms Pregnant into my house and climbing the stairs, I have a bungalow ;) However considering the point, I think I'd consider it as a liability perspective. Legally, I am responsible for my horse, and for third party damage he causes. If he throws her, I might not be financially culpable but I am certainly involved. However, so long as my stairs are well maintained, and kept clear, it isn't my responsibility if Ms Pregnant trips and falls down them (assuming of course I don't push her, or she doesn't trip over my cat).

Being clinical about it I know but I think that's the only fair way to be.
 
khalswitz said:
My horse has thrown me off far more times than I've fallen down the stairs... so personally Ms Pregnant would not be getting on my horse. If I had a very safe horse that was bombproof to hack etc, and a safer bet than climbing the stairs, I might be more open to letting Ms Pregnant ride him. As I've never owned something I trusted enough (I seem to like the sharp ones), I don't know what I would decide to do with a reasonably safe horse, but I can imagine I may think differently.

Regarding letting Ms Pregnant into my house and climbing the stairs, I have a bungalow ;) However considering the point, I think I'd consider it as a liability perspective. Legally, I am responsible for my horse, and for third party damage he causes. If he throws her, I might not be financially culpable but I am certainly involved. However, so long as my stairs are well maintained, and kept clear, it isn't my responsibility if Ms Pregnant trips and falls down them (assuming of course I don't push her, or she doesn't trip over my cat).

Being clinical about it I know but I think that's the only fair way to be.
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I suppose then that brings me back to my point earlier - that many people are afraid to get sued. Which I completely understand if someone said they would refuse to allow me to ride because of that reason.
 
Ibblebibble said:
thank you for your replies so far, my initial thoughts were it was her choice, but after 2 days of thinking it over i changed my mind! there is no way i want to be responsible for someone elses unborn child, I would not be able to live with myself if she fell and had a miscarriage so have decided it's a no go.
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I haven't had a chance to read the whole thread, but this is it for me. It's not just falling either. A pregnant lady got knocked over at my old livery yard last summer and although she and baby were fine...it was just one of those thing, spooked horse, swung around, lady on floor (it was her sisters pony) and they were all absolutely petrified.

I don't think it's worth the risk in any way, shape or form. Good decision as I can only imagine how mortified you would be if something went wrong. You're too damn nice to let harm come to anyone chick xx
 
Tiddlypom said:
So it's ok to stop someone from riding your horse because you are worried that you might be sued, but not because you feel some responsiblity for the foetus?

That's sad :(.
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I'm not sure that's what people are saying in entirety. I am saying that from a pregnant woman's point of view, I would completely understand if someone was worried I would sue if I fell off their horse. Because sadly that is the world we live in nowadays.

I wouldn't feel any responsibility for anybody else's foetus. Maybe I am harsh, but if the mother and father are of sound mind, and adult, then that foetus is their responsibility.
 
Moomin1 said:
Oh don't get me wrong, I am super super careful who gets on my horse. Only one other person does, and that's my instructor who is extremely experienced and capable. I am just trying to grasp what concepts people have of the different scenarios, because for me, I don't see any difference in someone falling off resulting in a death whilst pregnant, or whilst not. They are both lives.
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But one of them includes the life of a child who has no choice in the matter- and that is what makes the difference.
 
Moomin1 said:
I suppose then that brings me back to my point earlier - that many people are afraid to get sued. Which I completely understand if someone said they would refuse to allow me to ride because of that reason.
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All emotions aside I think this is the most important reason. And you are more likely to have a fall result in a pregnant woman losing a child than a non-pregnant competent adult being seriously injured, so risk of being sued is higher.
 
Broke_But_Happy said:
ETA: with regards to pregnant women making their own decisions, "baby brain" is, IMO, very real and therefore a woman who is pregnant may not make the same decisions that she would if she were not pregnant. Just a thought.
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Absolute codswallop.
If that were true, there'd be an awful lot of women in responsible jobs having to stay at home until their brain was capable of making decisions again.

Have babies become more delicate in recent times ? They're tough as old boots, designed to survive when women are faced with extreme circumstances.



I view an unborn child as a person in its own right from conception, but I do not view pregnant women as stupid, any more than the general population. And why is drinking wine in moderation a problem ? Has commonsense left the building ?
 
Moomin1 said:
It's not your choice either. It's the choice of the parents.
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I don't disagree, and I certainly agree with khalswitz's point above about the likelihood of being sued.

Playing devil's advocate though, although parents are responsible, there are laws etc to stop them having total free rein. I'm thinking of theme parks not letting pregnant women ride rollercoasters. Are the theme parks denying the pregnant woman the means to take risks on the basis of avoiding responsibility? If so does it really matter whether your concern 're responsibility is moral or legal, given that it's two sides of the same coin? I'm going to say that it doesn't matter; if you don't want to be implicated, you don't, and the reason doesn't matter.
 
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