Boggle- USA bound!

Michen

Michen

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Hay steamer has been delivered and hoping for Bog to be released tomorrow! I was originally meant to be heading to another part of Mexico to see some friends after this dive trip until next Wednesday but have just got myself on a new flight for Friday. Too excited to kiss boggles nose šŸ„°šŸ„°šŸ„°šŸ„° Iā€™ve been lucky to be able to get on the bulk of this trip and I just want to be back with him asap now.
 
timbobs

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I havenā€™t commented on this thread but Iā€™ve been lurking (if that doesnā€™t sound too weird) and rooting for Boggle. Sorry to hear youā€™re not well but such exciting news that heā€™s hopefully going home soon!
 
Michen

Michen

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teapot said:
The size of those rays :eek:
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They are oceanic manta rays. Iā€™ve only ever dived with reef mantas in Komodo/Maldives and these are much bigger and even more friendly, they love the bubbles from the tanks!

Utterly amazing. If the shit ever really hits the fan I honestly think Iā€™d be happiest on a dive boat or doing something ocean related. Always feel most at home here!
 
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BallyJ

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Michen said:
They are oceanic manta rays. Iā€™ve only ever dived with reef mantas in Komodo/Maldives and these are much bigger and even more friendly, they love the bubbles from the tanks!

Utterly amazing. If the shit ever really hits the fan I honestly think Iā€™d be happiest on a dive boat or doing something ocean related. Always feel most at home here!
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They are huge!!!

I snorkelled with Reef Mantas in the Maldives and they were more than big enough! It amazes me how quickly they seem to disappear from view, such beautiful creatures.

Glad to hear Boggle is ready for home, he's not going to have a clue how many nose kisses are heading his way. xx
 
Michen

Michen

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Not coming home until Friday, they want to switch him to orals and monitor to make sure he tolerates ok. They re did the culture and it is actually growing something but they arenā€™t sure what yet tho they are suspecting some anerobic bacteria which isnā€™t good news for a long term prognosis but does make sense as to why he seems to have been up and down

Anyway, heā€™s still doing ok which is the main thing.
 
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misst

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Every step forward is a step away from where you were last week. One step at a time. So pleased you have your boy xx
 
Michen

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I have the weirdest most awful dark confession. There was a thought that crossed my mind a few times recently but before this even happened that maybe life would be easier if Boggle wasnā€™t here. And it happened again when I thought he was going to die. It was fleeting and I absolutely hate that I even thought it and I canā€™t even understand it.

The thought before it happened was because I spend so much time worrying about him, feeling bad because Iā€™ve taken him from his English life in a big grassy field. Always questioning if Iā€™m doing the right thing for him Etc etc. I started to think about what Iā€™d do with that extra 2,000 dollars a month if I didnā€™t have him.

Then when I thought I was going to lose him and was sort of in the depths of the panic and despair I distinctly remember thinking well Iā€™d have to go through this at some point so at least Iā€™m half way there now. And again, maybe life would be simpler.

How utterly screwed up is that. To even think such thoughts about something you adore. It feels like I bought this on myself and him.
 
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Hobo2

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Michen said:
I have the weirdest most awful dark confession. There was a thought that crossed my mind a few times recently but before this even happened that maybe life would be easier if Boggle wasnā€™t here. And it happened again when I thought he was going to die. It was fleeting and I absolutely hate that I even thought it and I canā€™t even understand it.

The thought before it happened was because I spend so much time worrying about him, feeling bad because Iā€™ve taken him from his English life in a big grassy field. Always questioning if Iā€™m doing the right thing for him Etc etc. I started to think about what Iā€™d do with that extra 2,000 dollars a month if I didnā€™t have him.

Then when I thought I was going to lose him and was sort of in the depths of the panic and despair I distinctly remember thinking well Iā€™d have to go through this at some point so at least Iā€™m half way there now. And again, maybe life would be simpler.

How utterly screwed up is that. To even think such thoughts about something you adore. It feels like I bought this on myself and him.
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Understandable not screwed up it is a coping mechanism just in case I am sure.
 
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Michen said:
I have the weirdest most awful dark confession. There was a thought that crossed my mind a few times recently but before this even happened that maybe life would be easier if Boggle wasnā€™t here. And it happened again when I thought he was going to die. It was fleeting and I absolutely hate that I even thought it and I canā€™t even understand it.

The thought before it happened was because I spend so much time worrying about him, feeling bad because Iā€™ve taken him from his English life in a big grassy field. Always questioning if Iā€™m doing the right thing for him Etc etc. I started to think about what Iā€™d do with that extra 2,000 dollars a month if I didnā€™t have him.

Then when I thought I was going to lose him and was sort of in the depths of the panic and despair I distinctly remember thinking well Iā€™d have to go through this at some point so at least Iā€™m half way there now. And again, maybe life would be simpler.

How utterly screwed up is that. To even think such thoughts about something you adore. It feels like I bought this on myself and him.
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I think most of us have, or will have, those thoughts at times. Mainly times when you're stressed out of your mind and haemorrhaging money without knowing if it'll even fix the problem.

You're not a bad person.

I hope that you get some solid news and a proper prognosis soon. Not knowing and imagining every scenario is exhausting.

Take care and wishing the best for Bog x
 
Kunoichi73

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Honestly Michen, there is nothing wrong with thoughts like that. It's totally understandable. Your brain is trying to cope with the situation and one of the ways it's doing that is to imagine that the stress and worry is not there anymore. It really doesn't reflect on how you feel about Boggle. It's just what I call the 'stupid thinky brain' trying to get away from the ongoing situation. You love Boggle and don't really wish he wasn't around. Certainly don't punish yourself for thoughts like those. It just leads to a deeper, darker hole to climb into.

We're all here routing for you and Boggle. Share anything like this with us and we'll help you through it.
 
Michen

Michen

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I thought this before it even happened though guys. Literally just on the way to the barn in the car as I was working through some barn related ā€œstuffā€ in my head.
 
FlyingCircus

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Michen said:
I thought this before it even happened though guys. Literally just on the way to the barn in the car as I was working through some barn related ā€œstuffā€ in my head.
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I've done this many times. They come with so much worry and upset.

Then my mare had colic, which I did decide to operate for.

I felt like I'd willed it to happen, and I still feel a little like that 18 months on.

Logically I know its not possible...but it sure feels like it could be when I'm feeling particularly down about my horse situation.

Hope everything looks brighter for you and Bog soon.

ETA: I do think its the brains way from trying to detach us from something that is causing so much anxiety - even if that's the everyday anxiety.
 
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Upthecreek

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CanteringCarrot said:
I've had these thoughts more times than I can count. Which is why I'm not entirely sure why I own a horse or keep up with this hobby!
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We do it because when itā€™s good it feels amazing! Having that partnership with an animal that could kick you into next week or buck you off if it wanted to is a wonderful feeling. Iā€™m not sure how weā€™ve come to the conclusion that it somehow makes the hard times worth going through, but it does!
 
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