stangs
Well-Known Member
What an abbreviation! In any other context, "[the] KKK is up to mischief" would be a horrific understatement.
Incoming CC!
- Thread starter Ratface
- Start date
FinnishLapphund
There's no cow on the ice
I'm wondering if it's possible these kids might believe that CC have been euthanised? From their view, they see their dad/stepdad being sad, and they're being told "We've found this lovely new home for CC with a lady, on a barge somewhere, where CC will be able to live happily ever after..."
It's like the classical parent not wanting their kids to know their dog/cat/other pet died, so tells them "We've found this lovely new home for Buddy with a nice gentleman out on the countryside, where he'll be able to run free, and live happily ever after..."
If the kids get to see some photos, they will see that CC is alive and well, and that Ratface + home really exists.
I hope people are just kidding about RF saying she have e.g. Covid-19, or ringworm, wouldn't that make it difficult for RF to visit her horse? And there's the risk someone sees her at the yard, tells Previous Owner, and she'll get a message saying "Oh how lovely that you're feeling so much better, can we visit tomorrow?"
I still think it seems better to just keep it vague, and simple. You two needs a few months to get used to each other, you don't want to risk CC escaping and falling into the water, and besides, as MiLeTa and maybe someone else pointed out, perhaps the barge isn't safe for kids due to the risk of them falling overboard. If the kids still wants to visit a few months or so from now, then you can pretend to develop something.
It's like the classical parent not wanting their kids to know their dog/cat/other pet died, so tells them "We've found this lovely new home for Buddy with a nice gentleman out on the countryside, where he'll be able to run free, and live happily ever after..."
If the kids get to see some photos, they will see that CC is alive and well, and that Ratface + home really exists.
I hope people are just kidding about RF saying she have e.g. Covid-19, or ringworm, wouldn't that make it difficult for RF to visit her horse? And there's the risk someone sees her at the yard, tells Previous Owner, and she'll get a message saying "Oh how lovely that you're feeling so much better, can we visit tomorrow?"
I still think it seems better to just keep it vague, and simple. You two needs a few months to get used to each other, you don't want to risk CC escaping and falling into the water, and besides, as MiLeTa and maybe someone else pointed out, perhaps the barge isn't safe for kids due to the risk of them falling overboard. If the kids still wants to visit a few months or so from now, then you can pretend to develop something.
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Ratface
Well-Known Member
Dear FinnishLapphund, thank you for your concern about CC and me.
I was a bit concerned myself yesterday evening: I was sitting reading in the saloon, radio on quietly, barge on the mud, when CC suddenly flew at me - teeth, claws, very overweight body - swearing and growling. I grabbed a cushion and put it between me and The Changeling and stayed very still. She marched round me uttering cat threats and curses - sat down and began washing her face and ears. I think The Shade of Kevin Kat had pulled her tail or something.
The Cushion and I returned to our places and peace was restored.
This morning I went to the galley to make a mug of tea and CC was all smarm and charm. We discussed the weather, plans for the day, (CC requested more yummy wet food, I requested less Murderous Cat behaviour) she smarmed 'n' charmed, watched whilst The Staff checked that she wasn't going to starve within the next hour, I returned to my bunk, she returned to her warm nest under the companion way.
And breathe.
I was a bit concerned myself yesterday evening: I was sitting reading in the saloon, radio on quietly, barge on the mud, when CC suddenly flew at me - teeth, claws, very overweight body - swearing and growling. I grabbed a cushion and put it between me and The Changeling and stayed very still. She marched round me uttering cat threats and curses - sat down and began washing her face and ears. I think The Shade of Kevin Kat had pulled her tail or something.
The Cushion and I returned to our places and peace was restored.
This morning I went to the galley to make a mug of tea and CC was all smarm and charm. We discussed the weather, plans for the day, (CC requested more yummy wet food, I requested less Murderous Cat behaviour) she smarmed 'n' charmed, watched whilst The Staff checked that she wasn't going to starve within the next hour, I returned to my bunk, she returned to her warm nest under the companion way.
And breathe.
FinnishLapphund
There's no cow on the ice
Aww she tried to murder you, what a lovely update to read already the first morning! So quick of her to want to show you who's the new top boss of the barge. 
And you're already discussing wet food portion sizes, sounds like the two of you are making great progress @Ratface .
Hope she's satisfied with only trying to murder you once, and it continues onwards and upwards from here.
And you're already discussing wet food portion sizes, sounds like the two of you are making great progress @Ratface . Hope she's satisfied with only trying to murder you once, and it continues onwards and upwards from here.
rabatsa
Confuddled
It sounds as if she is well out of her previous home. Do not let it intrude into her new life. Once she realises that your safe you will have a wonderful relationship together.
ElleSkywalkingintheair
As excited as Kitty about to be a bridesmaid
Ahhh, so glad she feels settled enough to let out her natural cat murderous rage 
You will soon be the very best of master and servant 
You will soon be the very best of master and servant Crazy_cat_lady
Well-Known Member
Don't you live on a barge or have I made that up?
If so - way too small for children to be accommodated, plus all that water - wouldn't want any accidents would we now!
If so - way too small for children to be accommodated, plus all that water - wouldn't want any accidents would we now!
Red-1
I used to be decisive, now I'm not so sure...
"Oh no, I'm sorry, I don't do children!"
Ratface
Well-Known Member
I've had PO (previous owner) on the phone, crying.
Wishes he hadn't let CC go, children (5&7) insisting that they come and see her "this weekend".
I said that CC had settled in quite well, found a comfortable supervisory position at the top of the central companion way, was being sociable and chatty, eating well, peeing and pooing and all, so far, was well.
I suggested that it would be better to let CC settle in before any of the family visited. He hiccupped and snuffled and said he missed her sooo much.
I reassured him that she was doing really well, that he'd done the right thing and she was gradually exploring her new territory.
I'm tempted to block him, but I suppose that would be really unkind. I also do not want (allegedly) riotous children rampaging round the small interior spaces in the barge.
He's starting a new job next week. I hope that he's going to be taken up by that.
Wishes he hadn't let CC go, children (5&7) insisting that they come and see her "this weekend".
I said that CC had settled in quite well, found a comfortable supervisory position at the top of the central companion way, was being sociable and chatty, eating well, peeing and pooing and all, so far, was well.
I suggested that it would be better to let CC settle in before any of the family visited. He hiccupped and snuffled and said he missed her sooo much.
I reassured him that she was doing really well, that he'd done the right thing and she was gradually exploring her new territory.
I'm tempted to block him, but I suppose that would be really unkind. I also do not want (allegedly) riotous children rampaging round the small interior spaces in the barge.
He's starting a new job next week. I hope that he's going to be taken up by that.
Clodagh
Well-Known Member
How very difficult for you. CC sounds to have landed on her paws. I hope he cools off soon. If he moves on and stops reminding the children that would help, I’m sure.
Ratface
Well-Known Member
We can but hope.
Rumtytum
Have Marmite, will travel
Seems as if you have not only gained a cat which needed a home but a ton of emotional baggage from its ex-owners. I sound really hard but hope very much they soon get bored, move on to their next trauma and leave you and CC in peace.
FinnishLapphund
There's no cow on the ice
I'm so happy to hear that CC seems to have already settled in so well, and quickly together with you, and I hope the situation with her human "luggage" soon settles down.
Kunoichi73
Beware... My Plants...
Great to hear that CC is settling in so far. Not so great to hear about needy PO!
Could you set sail on the barge and leave no forwarding address? I jest of course (well mostly)!
Could you set sail on the barge and leave no forwarding address? I jest of course (well mostly)!
Red-1
I used to be decisive, now I'm not so sure...
It sounds like a firm 'No' will be required, for all your sakes.
I would not engage on the phone. It seems not to be helping anyone.
Ratface
Well-Known Member
CC is taking orders from the late King Kevin Kat.
Eats at pace, empties wet and dry food and then demands "Mooore! NOOOW!!"
I've ignored her demands, given her another cuddle, groomed her with the pin rake - still moulting ++ - and retreated to my bunk.
Muffled yowling. Levitate out of bunk. No sign of cat. Much scrambling from behind recessed small fridge. Enter cat, draped in cobwebs. Remove cobwebs. Set cat on the floor. Cat immediately wishes to go into hanging locker, where wet and dry clothes live. Cat Slave opens hanging locker door. Cat jumps up on my head-high pile of folded dry coats/jackets/sailing smocks. They fall on her head. Cat disappears under them. Silence. I return to bunk with tea. An hour later, up to look for whereabouts of silent cat. Silent cat has yanked her food dish into the heap of clothes on the floor, eaten her food, and is neatly curled up on the clothes, with a proprietary paw on the edge of the dish. A feline trip-wire.
Return to bunk, defeated.
Eats at pace, empties wet and dry food and then demands "Mooore! NOOOW!!"
I've ignored her demands, given her another cuddle, groomed her with the pin rake - still moulting ++ - and retreated to my bunk.
Muffled yowling. Levitate out of bunk. No sign of cat. Much scrambling from behind recessed small fridge. Enter cat, draped in cobwebs. Remove cobwebs. Set cat on the floor. Cat immediately wishes to go into hanging locker, where wet and dry clothes live. Cat Slave opens hanging locker door. Cat jumps up on my head-high pile of folded dry coats/jackets/sailing smocks. They fall on her head. Cat disappears under them. Silence. I return to bunk with tea. An hour later, up to look for whereabouts of silent cat. Silent cat has yanked her food dish into the heap of clothes on the floor, eaten her food, and is neatly curled up on the clothes, with a proprietary paw on the edge of the dish. A feline trip-wire.
Return to bunk, defeated.
splashgirl45
Lurcher lover
RF, You really need to write a book about your feline friends
Ratface
Well-Known Member
Splashgirl45. How kind. I've written loads of published stuff over the years. I was an advertising copywriter, industrial journalist, and, in my previous professional roles, (Local Authorities Children and Families Child Protection Social Worker) I wrote reams of Court Reports, Adoption Panel Reports, file reports of home visits/prison visits/foster care visits.
I've sat with previous service users who wanted access to the Local Authority files which I had contributed to, and explained why I had written what I did. Fortunately, I always supported my opinion with observed facts, and specifically stated what those facts were.
The first thing that I wrote for anyone outside the extended family was when I was at primary school. I wrote the true story of trying to persuade my pony to go past the local "Haunted Cottage" - a dilapidated place where a young maid servant had (allegedly) been murdered by the master of the house, because she was going to reveal his paternity of the child she was carrying.
I love writing. It's like painting pictures with words.
Ratface
Well-Known Member
CC has adopted Owner's Rights! I've just come back from the village and the library with a goodly haul of "who dunnits?", to find CC in the bunk. Kevin has been whispering in her ears as to how to train The Slave to work around ones' every need.
Firstly, flumf down slightly to the left-hand side, curl up and cling on with all claws. Become a dead weight. If Slave tries to get in around you, hang on for dear life, narrow ones' eyes to murderous suits and open ones' mouth in a silent, menacing snarl. It worked.
Fat Cat is now fast asleep next to me on the saloon settle.
Cats, as always, rule.
Firstly, flumf down slightly to the left-hand side, curl up and cling on with all claws. Become a dead weight. If Slave tries to get in around you, hang on for dear life, narrow ones' eyes to murderous suits and open ones' mouth in a silent, menacing snarl. It worked.
Fat Cat is now fast asleep next to me on the saloon settle.
Cats, as always, rule.
Ratface
Well-Known Member
I wish my phone wouldn't decide that it knows better than me. It keeps changing my fonts and my words.
Back to the instructions book.
Back to the instructions book.
nagblagger
Well-Known Member
I think are well suited. Kevin Kat did send the right one to you.
Fjord
Well-Known Member
Sounds like CC is perfectly settled!
FinnishLapphund
There's no cow on the ice
Oh my, you can certainly paint picture with words! 
Sorry to hear that you're phone is acting up.
Sorry to hear that you're phone is acting up.
Ratface
Well-Known Member
Phone has listened to you, Oh Mighty Technical Wizards/Wizardesses! Typeface and font size restored.
Many thanks.
Many thanks.
Errin Paddywack
Well-Known Member
I would love to read this story, bet I am not the only one on here either.
Rumtytum
Have Marmite, will travel
Agree with Errin, I too would love to read the story. Do you still have it, or could you rewrite please? Not asking much am I?
Ratface
Well-Known Member
I'd have to draft it out again. I'll see.
Ratface
Well-Known Member
It's 70 years since I wrote it!
nagblagger
Well-Known Member
I want to read anything you've written, i can imagine it will be so entertaining and articulate, so please keep me in the lop when you find it.
Ratface
Well-Known Member
CC has adopted Squatter's Rights near anywhere that I sit. She has commandeered the top of the dog cage, which is upholstered with dog blankets, held down by old Arabian Horse magazines and a cashmere throw.
From this vantage point, she can survey the whole of the barge interior, the rolling river, the sky, the movements on the pontoon and, in the distance, the far bank and its' public pathway.
She keeps up a continual gossipy commentary: "Cor, Missus - look at the state of that! I've seen better legs on a ham shank!" "Ooh - that's the third bloke he's brought down here this week. Says they're his brothers. Hmm. I wasn't born yesterday . . . " 'Cause, I'm not one to gossip, but did you SEE the length of her skirt - if I'd looked, I'd have been able to see her undies. These young things. No shame." All said with plump paws hoicking up her ample bosoms.
She's hilarious. She'll fixate on the Duke and Duchess of Sussex next, mark my words!
From this vantage point, she can survey the whole of the barge interior, the rolling river, the sky, the movements on the pontoon and, in the distance, the far bank and its' public pathway.
She keeps up a continual gossipy commentary: "Cor, Missus - look at the state of that! I've seen better legs on a ham shank!" "Ooh - that's the third bloke he's brought down here this week. Says they're his brothers. Hmm. I wasn't born yesterday . . . " 'Cause, I'm not one to gossip, but did you SEE the length of her skirt - if I'd looked, I'd have been able to see her undies. These young things. No shame." All said with plump paws hoicking up her ample bosoms.
She's hilarious. She'll fixate on the Duke and Duchess of Sussex next, mark my words!