Old, nackered and past it riding club
- Thread starter eahotson
- Start date
littleshetland
Well-Known Member
A rosette just for managing to turn up....
Annagain
Well-Known Member
Stuff the rosettes, I'll take chocolate as a prize. None of these fancy expensive chocolates either, a big slab of Dairy Milk.
SEL
Well-Known Member
^^^ this!! When I was horse hunting I kept having to find something to covert cm into inches into hands. Then I'd check 3 times to make sure it really was 14.2 and I wasn't going to rock up to an 11h pony or a 17h giant.Plus 80cm sounds huge. I prefer old money.
tda
Well-Known Member
ycbm
Einstein would be proud of my Insanity...
vhf
Well-Known Member
I used to know a woman who was 5ft 12, hated saying she was 6ft! And I'll jump 3ft rather than 90cm any time...
vhf
Well-Known Member
This would totally get me back into competing, the thought of dealing with all that instead of simply hitting the painkillers and bath on return...
MereChristmas
riding reluctantly into the sunset
Rename and rewrite the dressage tests, please.
at X halt, salute without sliding off sideways ( remount if necessary )
proceed in ambling walk to C
ask judge if you should turn left or right
etc etc
Old, nackered and past it riding club Test A ( can be led )
enter at A ambling walkat X halt, salute without sliding off sideways ( remount if necessary )
proceed in ambling walk to C
ask judge if you should turn left or right
etc etc
ycbm
Einstein would be proud of my Insanity...
I know a showjumping trainer who always describes 3ft as 2ft 12 for nervous riders. It really does make a difference.
.
Red-1
I used to be decisive, now I'm not so sure...
I think it should start like that but then...
At A make a choice as to where to turn, then have 4 minutes to do whatever you and your horse would most enjoy. Points to be awarded for posh work, or for artistic merit, or for inventive ideas. Test finished when you salute the judge.
MereChristmas
riding reluctantly into the sunset
I remember an instructor who always raised poles when no one was looking and then denied altering anything.
She said if you believed it was the same you jumped it the same.
MereChristmas
riding reluctantly into the sunset
SilverLinings
Well-Known Member
And can we have adult gymkhana games?* We can all career about in chaos whilst pretending it's some kind of race, but with none of that nonsense the youngsters do like leaping on from the ground. As others have suggested the egg and spoon race could be replaced by a glass and [tipple of your choice] race, with the riders being required to drink the contents at the start and then race to the finish line with the empty glass for a refill? Maybe the winner can be the rider who hasn't fallen off in a fit of giggles, is still facing in the right direction, and is mounted on the horse they started the race on? The bending race can be won by the least bendy rider, and we could have a willing slave handing the flags politely to us in the flag race.
*I've just realised that for some reason adding 'adult' in front of gymkhana games makes it sound like I'm proposing something x-rated, which was NOT what I intended
*I've just realised that for some reason adding 'adult' in front of gymkhana games makes it sound like I'm proposing something x-rated, which was NOT what I intended
oldie48
Well-Known Member
Nope, 74 + 23 = 97 and neither horse nor rider is yet retired.
Cowpony
Well-Known Member
I was waiting to do a x-country competition once, knew the commentator well. I was a bit nervous and he kept talking about people jumping "the big log". Eventually I said "John, can you stop calling it the big log please? Can you call it " the small, not scary at all log" instead? "
Of course, he then started calling it "the enormous log"......
MereChristmas
riding reluctantly into the sunset
I was waiting to do a x-country competition once, knew the commentator well. I was a bit nervous and he kept talking about people jumping "the big log". Eventually I said "John, can you stop calling it the big log please? Can you call it " the small, not scary at all log" instead? "
Of course, he then started calling it "the enormous log"......
In order to jump the smallest height possible I entered a hunter trial HC on my young homebred pony. The class was 12 years and under.
The commentator said
Here is Meredith and XXXX. Wish her Happy Birthday as she is 12 tomorrow.
I think I was in my mid 40’s
Gloi
Too little time, too much to read.
The winner of the "best groan whilst dismounting" class will be awarded the Volterol Cup.
southerncomfort
Well-Known Member
Endurance rides will be a nice, relaxing hack with a stop off for a pub lunch half way.
Gloi
Too little time, too much to read.
To avoid cheating by acting, this class will not be announced and will be judged in secret when the riders are dismounting after the end of previous classes.
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teapot
Well-Known Member
Could have fillers depicting the eye test chart - extra bonus point/5 seconds off your time if you can read and call out each letter as you're approaching
MereChristmas
riding reluctantly into the sunset
I need extra large jump numbers please
I rarely take part in show jumping however one epic fail was a round of jumps numbered correctly.
I jumped
1..2..3..4..5..6..5..6..!
Tarragon
Well-Known Member
Yes please
Count me inFransurrey
Well-Known Member
This, but on space hoppers.And can we have adult gymkhana games?* We can all career about in chaos whilst pretending it's some kind of race, but with none of that nonsense the youngsters do like leaping on from the ground. As others have suggested the egg and spoon race could be replaced by a glass and [tipple of your choice] race, with the riders being required to drink the contents at the start and then race to the finish line with the empty glass for a refill? Maybe the winner can be the rider who hasn't fallen off in a fit of giggles, is still facing in the right direction, and is mounted on the horse they started the race on? The bending race can be won by the least bendy rider, and we could have a willing slave handing the flags politely to us in the flag race.
*I've just realised that for some reason adding 'adult' in front of gymkhana games makes it sound like I'm proposing something x-rated, which was NOT what I intended
Annagain
Well-Known Member
Have you tried a space hopper recently? They are:
a)exhausting; and
b)not incontinence friendly!
Cowpony
Well-Known Member
Had somebody at our place forget that there were 10 jumps instead of the usual 9. We all yelled to her, but by then she'd walked towards the gate and couldn't be bothered to go back and jump number 10......
Lucky Snowball
Well-Known Member
I once won a “geriatrics jumping” class where the restriction was “over 25” ! Think I was about 30. Years ago
Cowpony
Well-Known Member
I was stewarding at the weekend and some of the teenagers from the yard were hanging around the gate having a conversation about ages. They deemed somebody of 35 to be "really old"
ycbm
Einstein would be proud of my Insanity...
SilverLinings
Well-Known Member
There is no way in hell that I could a) get on to a space hopper or b) stay on a space hopper and make it hop; attempting this would require a winch and a team of medics to attempt, and still end in failure. I think I will stick to observing that race from the sidelines...