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Dear PF
I don't know what to do. My horse won't turn right! I took her to a garage and had indicators fitted to her bridle so I can warn her I want to turn right but she just goes straight on. My YO says I need a bit and reins but horses didn't have these in the wild!

Sincerely haventaclue
 
Dear PF
I have an old mare who hasn't been ridden in 3 years, I want to take her hunting next week, do you think she'll be fit enough to go all day? I know she'll be fast enough as she runs really fast across the field when I bring her food

You could feed her some pro plus and an expression shot. But I know from personal experience if you get her drunk first then she will be able to go all day (make sure you top her up though)
 
Dee PF
My instructor says my horse and I have communication issues. So I bought her an iPhone an iPad and got her a Facebook but she never pokes me back or writes on my wall! I don't know what to do anymore :(
 
Dear PF
I have an old mare who hasn't been ridden in 3 years, I want to take her hunting next week, do you think she'll be fit enough to go all day? I know she'll be fast enough as she runs really fast across the field when I bring her food

Yes, no problem. She'll be fit from wandering around grazing and, of course, running up to you for food.
 
Dear PF
I don't know what to do. My horse won't turn right! I took her to a garage and had indicators fitted to her bridle so I can warn her I want to turn right but she just goes straight on. My YO says I need a bit and reins but horses didn't have these in the wild!

Sincerely haventaclue

I do hope you're not riding your horse! This is most unnatural. It's quite alright to put headcollars on them, wave ropes in their face, clunk them on the head with heavy clips and poke and prod them with banana sticks, but QUITE another to be getting on!!
I'm quite shocked. Need a lie down in a darkened room
 
I do hope you're not riding your horse! This is most unnatural. It's quite alright to put headcollars on them, wave ropes in their face, clunk them on the head with heavy clips and poke and prod them with banana sticks, but QUITE another to be getting on!!
I'm quite shocked. Need a lie down in a darkened room

I'm sorry :( but i saw it on TV and thought it would be ok? I do throw vegetables at her often though. Cabbages are my fav, they make her run really fast if i hit her in the head!
 
Apparently 'riding' is ok if you do it with no saddle or bridle... Well, that is what the lady on our yard says who has just bought a two year old cob. I have not seen her 'ride' it yet, although I am dearly looking forward to it, as are all the other liveries on the yard ;)
I think the cob is looking forward to being 'ridden' too, and judging by the height he can get his back legs up, I think he is really going to enjoy the experience.
 
Apparently 'riding' is ok if you do it with no saddle or bridle... Well, that is what the lady on our yard says who has just bought a two year old cob. I have not seen her 'ride' it yet, although I am dearly looking forward to it, as are all the other liveries on the yard ;)
I think the cob is looking forward to being 'ridden' too, and judging by the height he can get his back legs up, I think he is really going to enjoy the experience.

Two words. You Tube ;)
Don't forget your camera :D
 
I'm sorry :( but i saw it on TV and thought it would be ok? I do throw vegetables at her often though. Cabbages are my fav, they make her run really fast if i hit her in the head!
*Clutches head* She's not a blinking coconut shy!! Clunking on the head should only be done with a heavy clip attached to one of my patented whatchamacallit headcollars.
If you're going to watch something, then you should get my ENTIRE DVD collection, for a mere £140,500. See if that knocks (see what I did there? :p) some sense into you.
 
*Clutches head* She's not a blinking coconut shy!! Clunking on the head should only be done with a heavy clip attached to one of my patented whatchamacallit headcollars.
If you're going to watch something, then you should get my ENTIRE DVD collection, for a mere £140,500. See if that knocks (see what I did there? :p) some sense into you.

can i pay by installments of £0.000001 per year?
 
It is perfectly obvious from your reply that you're not interested in the least in your horse's wellbeing. I have notified the RSPCA and they will be responding immediately. Therefore, you have 3 years to get your act together or ELSE!!

you tealeaf! :O :P should have known better :P

I think you are a troll PF, i mean, you have only posted over 24k times, and all include pictures of your horse (clearly stolen images from google images) is this what comes up when you google 'the donkey in shrek'?.... :P

Troll get back under your bridge, unless you have done the BHS goldgoldgold scheme and climbed mount everest you have no right to impart adivce onto hapless owners. :mad:

I get the feeling you are not taking our issues seriously. Hang your head in shame!
 
you tealeaf! :O :P should have known better :P

I think you are a troll PF, i mean, you have only posted over 24k times, and all include pictures of your horse (clearly stolen images from google images) is this what comes up when you google 'the donkey in shrek'?.... :P

Troll get back under your bridge, unless you have done the BHS goldgoldgold scheme and climbed mount everest you have no right to impart adivce onto hapless owners. :mad:

I get the feeling you are not taking our issues seriously. Hang your head in shame!

Ooops. Rumbled. I've actually been keeping a low profile; I do, in fact, own a PRE stallion trained to GP, who also SJs Grade A and Events to 4*. You probably saw me at WEG in all 3 disciplines. I'm just too modest to tell the truth...
 
Ooops. Rumbled. I've actually been keeping a low profile; I do, in fact, own a PRE stallion trained to GP, who also SJs Grade A and Events to 4*. You probably saw me at WEG in all 3 disciplines. I'm just too modest to tell the truth...

oh thats ok then, you probably saw me too...i was the one beating you in all three disciplines ;)
 
Ooops. Rumbled. I've actually been keeping a low profile; I do, in fact, own a PRE stallion trained to GP, who also SJs Grade A and Events to 4*. You probably saw me at WEG in all 3 disciplines. I'm just too modest to tell the truth...

Aha!!! Foiled PF - you do 'ride' after all! But... Do you wear a hat? I am guessing that, if you have GP level stallions you don't because it is a scientific fact that wearing a hat prevents you from doing proper dressage.
 
Aha!!! Foiled PF - you do 'ride' after all! But... Do you wear a hat? I am guessing that, if you have GP level stallions you don't because it is a scientific fact that wearing a hat prevents you from doing proper dressage.

its well known that if you are doing GP your horse doesnt prat around like normal horses so you dont need one
 
Dear PF,

I've got a one year old section a, that people say is really pretty, but that I am too heavy for? Is this the case, as I only weigh 17 stone? Sometimes, my pony rears so I can't be that heavy, and I've started to ride in draw reins, spurs and carry a lunge whip- ponio is going much better in his pelham, flash and martingale.
I'm practising really hard, riding at least twice a day, and as I've heard ponio can get fat, I only feed two slices of hay a week. I don't have a field as ponio gets dirty. As summer is around the corner, what classes should I enter? I've heard of something called 'mounted games?' would I be ok in that?
Thanks PF
 
Aha!!! Foiled PF - you do 'ride' after all! But... Do you wear a hat? I am guessing that, if you have GP level stallions you don't because it is a scientific fact that wearing a hat prevents you from doing proper dressage.

Well of course I'm allowed to ride because I'm a top class Huggly Horsemanship practitioner. For this same reason I am SO in tune with my horses that they wouldn't dream of doing anything that might cause me any injury of any sort, so of course I don't wear a hat. I'm so safe, in fact, that I wear a bikini and flipflops all year.
Also, I would like to state that my particular kind of dressage is so revolutionary and advanced, that there is hardly any point in me competing because most judges (except those who have embraced the Huggly System) just don't get it... I still like to get out there, of course, to inspire people
*gives off golden glow*
 
Dear PF,

I've got a one year old section a, that people say is really pretty, but that I am too heavy for? Is this the case, as I only weigh 17 stone? Sometimes, my pony rears so I can't be that heavy, and I've started to ride in draw reins, spurs and carry a lunge whip- ponio is going much better in his pelham, flash and martingale.
I'm practising really hard, riding at least twice a day, and as I've heard ponio can get fat, I only feed two slices of hay a week. I don't have a field as ponio gets dirty. As summer is around the corner, what classes should I enter? I've heard of something called 'mounted games?' would I be ok in that?
Thanks PF

Mounted games is really good, its great playing need for speed on the PS3 whilst riding your horse, but mario kart on the wii is really hard :/. you will have to practice lots
 
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