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Dear Pappa Fritta,

Thank you so much for your prompt reply. You are so right, I am very new to dressage, so I have a lot to learn, but thankfully I have come across this forum which has *everything* I need to improve.

Gosh, I didn't know that about the colour. I have 5 horses, and they are ALL the wrong colour! Four are bays and one is chestnut. I bought them in Germany and clearly they took advantage of the fact that I am a foreigner. Without contacts, it's difficult to buy abroad. Do you think I have been conned????
Ah yes, there are lots of experts on the forum, many of whom give their opinions VERY freely and generously. None as wise as me, of course, but then they don't have years and years of Huggly Horsemanship under their belts, as I do or such an innate understanding of the horsey pysche... *gloat*
Now, back to your horses... you have indeed been conned. Just so you don't feel so bad about it, Laura in her youth also fell for that ploy and ended up with Alf *sigh* HOW much better would he be doing if he weren't quite so... orange???
You're in luck though. I will take all your incorrectly-coloured horses off your hands and swap you for THIS magnificent beast.

images


I'm sure you'll agree he's gorgeous. And I'm only doing this because you had the good sense at least to get German horses ;)
 
Dear Pf please can you help me-I bought a very nice horsey last year-the seller said it was a bit green but that was ok because I like that colour. Anyway he has started to plant-I did read a thread on horses planting which mentioned waggling the neck neck but my horsey seems too stiff-have I fed him the wrong food? I have tried miracle grow cos he was quite small but am wondering whether a good feed of potash would be better? What do you think? and would a banana stick be helpful? I did think of sheep as everyone says sheep are the way forward but he doesn't like them nibbling him.
Yours in anticipation
Alan Titchymarsh

PS Here is a pic of him-do you think he needs clipping?
PLanting.jpg

Dear PF, it's getting worse-he's now rooted to the spot! What can I do?

So sorry to hear of your problems. I think you might need to get your forage analysed. My horse,when green,would plant so because he is barefoot I had my forage analysed and found that his mineral levels were not right for a barefoot horse. The garden center did this for me and gave me some minerals to feed. Can't remember what it was called,but I think it was to up the glyphosate levels. Apparently this helps with the absorbtion of copper and mangoknees. Anyway,since feeding the glyphosate he has gone from green to brown! He is still,however a little stiff.
 
Dear PapaFrita,
I have a problem , I want to do dressage and seem to have bought a TB instead of a big warmblood I mean I went out for a black warm blood and came back with a grey TB can you help.
I also wondered if when you have your range of black tints and dyes selling well if you would consider marketing passport covers so,we could pretend we had any sort of fancy warmblood we liked.
I am looking forward to your advice
Goldenstar
 
dear papa frita
i am having a bit of a problem, my horse wont go faward when i am riding, i only have a pony standing martingale on his flash noseband, with a dutch gag on bottom whole and a pair of draw reins. i just don't understand why he has his chin touching his chest and wont move forward. i hate to use my legs too much so can you help me please. :confused:

thanks HMM

p.s. he is a 24hh irish draught.
 
Please help
I recently bought a 10yr old tb stallion for my 4 yr old to ride. It was unbroken, but I've been riding a year now so was more than experienced enough to break & school it the first day we got it. I'm 28 stone so just right for it. It wears a double bridle we made ourselves, with a gag & kimblewick as bits. My question is this- which bit should the draw reins go on? And should the too small martingale be on the flash or grackle? And when we ride, any tips for stopping the de-gogue, market harborough, & side reins getting tangled? Once I have these minor issues sorted, he'll be a fantastic first pony. Also, if he covers a mare while daughters at a pony club rally, who pays, the dc or the owner? Thankyou for your help, yours sincerely, Mrs four- king idiot
 
So sorry to hear of your problems. I think you might need to get your forage analysed. My horse,when green,would plant so because he is barefoot I had my forage analysed and found that his mineral levels were not right for a barefoot horse. The garden center did this for me and gave me some minerals to feed. Can't remember what it was called,but I think it was to up the glyphosate levels. Apparently this helps with the absorbtion of copper and mangoknees. Anyway,since feeding the glyphosate he has gone from green to brown! He is still,however a little stiff.

Good answer!! FTR, I told abitodd to say that ;)
 
Dear PapaFrita,
I have a problem , I want to do dressage and seem to have bought a TB instead of a big warmblood I mean I went out for a black warm blood and came back with a grey TB can you help.
I also wondered if when you have your range of black tints and dyes selling well if you would consider marketing passport covers so,we could pretend we had any sort of fancy warmblood we liked.
I am looking forward to your advice
Goldenstar

Oh dear. Once again the inexperienced are hoodwinked into buying unsuitable horses *sigh*
Well, first of all you will have to dye him black with one of my Triumph Tint range. THEN you will be able to register your horse with one of my Specialized Warmblood stud books, especially created for people who have horses that aren't technically warmbloods, or might be with a bit of imagination, but you can't be sure. Geldings are allowed as well. These include the NSWII (Not Sure What It Is) Stud Book, the LOMATAHF (Lots of Mane and Tail and Hairy Fetlocks) stud book as well as BOF (Ball of Fluff) stud book for the littler WB wannabees. Sorted :)
 
dear papa frita
i am having a bit of a problem, my horse wont go faward when i am riding, i only have a pony standing martingale on his flash noseband, with a dutch gag on bottom whole and a pair of draw reins. i just don't understand why he has his chin touching his chest and wont move forward. i hate to use my legs too much so can you help me please. :confused:

thanks HMM

p.s. he is a 24hh irish draught.

Well HMM, it seems obvious to me that your horse is not going forward because you are not wearing SPURS. Tut tut. Off you go and get some really big basstads so you can prod and poke your horse into action. Remember; GADGETS not TRAINING gets results!! Oh, and lots of Huggly Horsemanship!!
 
Help PF

I am new to horses so I went out and bought a TB who was supposed to be 12, I didn't have him vetted as the lady was soooo nice, he turned out to be 18 and a crib biter. I decided I didnt like the collar he had to wear so I sold him (dont worry the advert didn't mention any of his flaws).

As I am clearly now an experienced horse owner (on my second horse you know!) I bought a 2yo who was already broken and fit to go for 2 hour hacks, unfortunately now the horse has a bad back! I dont think it could be his saddle? it was from ebay and is very pretty, do you think he is just a sensitive sort? I think if I lunge him with side reins he should improve!

:)
 
Well HMM, it seems obvious to me that your horse is not going forward because you are not wearing SPURS. Tut tut. Off you go and get some really big basstads so you can prod and poke your horse into action. Remember; GADGETS not TRAINING gets results!! Oh, and lots of Huggly Horsemanship!!

oh course why didn't i think of that, it is so obvious i could ''''KICK MYSELF'''!!!!! :D;):D
 
Oh dear. Once again the inexperienced are hoodwinked into buying unsuitable horses *sigh*
Well, first of all you will have to dye him black with one of my Triumph Tint range. THEN you will be able to register your horse with one of my Specialized Warmblood stud books, especially created for people who have horses that aren't technically warmbloods, or might be with a bit of imagination, but you can't be sure. Geldings are allowed as well. These include the NSWII (Not Sure What It Is) Stud Book, the LOMATAHF (Lots of Mane and Tail and Hairy Fetlocks) stud book as well as BOF (Ball of Fluff) stud book for the littler WB wannabees. Sorted :)

Oh Thankyou I am so relieved that no problem is indeed to big for you to solve ,
Now I can get back to customising my dressage saddle with stick on crystals for my first outing . Should I do my boots as well or would that be OTT.
By the way how many bottles of triumph tint will I need for a a 16.3 and should I do my hair as well !is it de rigeur to match?
Must go as I have superglued my finger to the iPad
 
Please help
I recently bought a 10yr old tb stallion for my 4 yr old to ride. It was unbroken, but I've been riding a year now so was more than experienced enough to break & school it the first day we got it. I'm 28 stone so just right for it. It wears a double bridle we made ourselves, with a gag & kimblewick as bits. My question is this- which bit should the draw reins go on? And should the too small martingale be on the flash or grackle? And when we ride, any tips for stopping the de-gogue, market harborough, & side reins getting tangled? Once I have these minor issues sorted, he'll be a fantastic first pony. Also, if he covers a mare while daughters at a pony club rally, who pays, the dc or the owner? Thankyou for your help, yours sincerely, Mrs four- king idiot

You should have reins on ALL the bits, or roundings. They'll do as well. I can see you're a very experienced rider and know a LOT about tack. As you're so experienced, you can probably start to add drawreins to the mix, so you can REALLY get a good head position.
If your stallion covers a mare, then the owner has to pay you for the covering, regardless of whether or not they wanted a foal or not. They should understand that stallions have NEEDS and if their mare is being a strumpet then they have to take responsibility, not you. He can't help himself, after all ;)
 
Thankyou papa frita! I am indeed highly experienced, I have bought all the gadgets possible & can usually tell one from the other. It just got a bit confusing with degogue on the kimblewick, side reins on the gag etc. Following your fantastic advice, I intend to put roundings between both bits, & thread everything on there. Glad someone at last recognizes that any horse can be suitable with enough gadgets! Yours gratefully, Mrs four-king idiot.
 
dear pappa frita
i have had reall problem on keeping weight on my other horse this winter, it is really upsetting, i feel like such a bad owner having him looking thin but i just can't get it on. i feed him on i standard bucket of weight gain mix 10 times a day and he has unlimited silege. i have had to stop working him and he is kept in a stable sized pen which is moved daily so he has grass but cannot move so as not to loose anymore weight!!!

please heeellllpppp before my horse starves to death

p.s. this is a pick of him coming out of winter

http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=ob...art=0&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:14,s:0&tx=75&ty=66
 
Help PF

I am new to horses so I went out and bought a TB who was supposed to be 12, I didn't have him vetted as the lady was soooo nice, he turned out to be 18 and a crib biter. I decided I didnt like the collar he had to wear so I sold him (dont worry the advert didn't mention any of his flaws).

As I am clearly now an experienced horse owner (on my second horse you know!) I bought a 2yo who was already broken and fit to go for 2 hour hacks, unfortunately now the horse has a bad back! I dont think it could be his saddle? it was from ebay and is very pretty, do you think he is just a sensitive sort? I think if I lunge him with side reins he should improve!

:)

Ah yes, sellers are just the loveliest people, aren't they? Strangely enough, their phones always cease to work once their horses have been sold... Odd *muses*
As for your new horse, he sounds delightful. As you probably know, it is a complete myth that a saddle should fit a horse. Any saddle can fit any horse, all you need is some more padding under it to make it comfortable. A thick bit of sponge should do the trick. Also, lots and lots of lunging in very small circles (side reins VERY important) will help toughen him up; babies are all a bit soft at first ;)
 
Dear PF my horse is a really odd shape, I can't find a saddle on eBay that looks right. Her rail is also furry to the bottom with a whisp like a lions rail bit at the bottom. Is my friends pony eating his tail. Or is my horse a cow?
 
Oh Thankyou I am so relieved that no problem is indeed to big for you to solve ,
Now I can get back to customising my dressage saddle with stick on crystals for my first outing . Should I do my boots as well or would that be OTT.
By the way how many bottles of triumph tint will I need for a a 16.3 and should I do my hair as well !is it de rigeur to match?
Must go as I have superglued my finger to the iPad

If your boots are not patent or metallic sheened, then yes, do add lots of crytals. The objective is to DAZZLE like a disco ball!!
It will take about 3 bottles of Triumph Tint for your horse (£120 per bottle at mates rates ;) ), but YOU should actually be blonde. This is the rule.
 
Thankyou papa frita! I am indeed highly experienced, I have bought all the gadgets possible & can usually tell one from the other. It just got a bit confusing with degogue on the kimblewick, side reins on the gag etc. Following your fantastic advice, I intend to put roundings between both bits, & thread everything on there. Glad someone at last recognizes that any horse can be suitable with enough gadgets! Yours gratefully, Mrs four-king idiot.

Glad to help. Don't forget to buy my DVDs ;)
 
dear pappa frita
i have had reall problem on keeping weight on my other horse this winter, it is really upsetting, i feel like such a bad owner having him looking thin but i just can't get it on. i feed him on i standard bucket of weight gain mix 10 times a day and he has unlimited silege. i have had to stop working him and he is kept in a stable sized pen which is moved daily so he has grass but cannot move so as not to loose anymore weight!!!

please heeellllpppp before my horse starves to death

p.s. this is a pick of him coming out of winter

http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=ob...art=0&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:14,s:0&tx=75&ty=66

Hmm, yes,I can see your problem; definitely not enough topline. I would start feeding flapjacks, as advised (much) earlier in the thread. Don't scrimp on the syrup and keep him as still as possible so he doesn't lose any more condition!!
 
Dear PF my horse is a really odd shape, I can't find a saddle on eBay that looks right. Her rail is also furry to the bottom with a whisp like a lions rail bit at the bottom. Is my friends pony eating his tail. Or is my horse a cow?

It IS possible that your horse is a cow. Luckily for you, I have recently published a brand new set of informative DVDs entitled Cuddly Cowmanship. Make your cow into a horse in 450 easy stages. All for only £4500!! Special saddles also available for cows at the bargain price of £13000!!
 
I agree with dressage riders having to be blonde. I pencil my eyebrows with a black eyebrow pencil so I am matchy matchy with my (dyed) black dressage horsie. I think I need to buy a few more gadgets and dead sheep before we can reach GP levels. Think I need a banana stick as my horsie's chin does not touch their chest despite my draw reins, although perhaps if I have dead sheep it will fall in to place?

By the way, I'm 34 stone which I feel is a perfect weight for my 16hh fine horsie- I read it on a website somewhere.

I am, however, quite concerned about the fuel crisis at the moment though- how can I expect my horsie to function without petrol? :(
 
If your boots are not patent or metallic sheened, then yes, do add lots of crytals. The objective is to DAZZLE like a disco ball!!
It will take about 3 bottles of Triumph Tint for your horse (£120 per bottle at mates rates ;) ), but YOU should actually be blonde. This is the rule.

Oh good I am blonde but only five feet five do you have a product to fix this ?
Also I have a very smart Clydesdale / welsh section D and he has a driving society passport clearly this will not do but which of your special passports would be most apporiate as I have clipped off all his hair except his mane and tail so could a LOMAT be arranged as I clipped his leg oh and pulled his mane.as it kept getting tangled in my stirrups.
Gosh this is so exhausting ,getting everything right perhaps you need to make rider tonic too of course you would need to do a low sugar/ starch one with linseed and magnesium for when we wear high heels and get sore feet and to go without shoes for a while . There a lot of potential for papa Frita products.
Yours gratefully
Goldenstar
 
I agree with dressage riders having to be blonde. I pencil my eyebrows with a black eyebrow pencil so I am matchy matchy with my (dyed) black dressage horsie. I think I need to buy a few more gadgets and dead sheep before we can reach GP levels. Think I need a banana stick as my horsie's chin does not touch their chest despite my draw reins, although perhaps if I have dead sheep it will fall in to place?

By the way, I'm 34 stone which I feel is a perfect weight for my 16hh fine horsie- I read it on a website somewhere.

I am, however, quite concerned about the fuel crisis at the moment though- how can I expect my horsie to function without petrol? :(

You sound ALMOST perfect. You ARE however, a tiny bit underweight and should bulk up a bit. Can't look like a twig on your horse!!
As for the fuel crisis; suggest having your horse adapted to run on gas, then you can bottle his farts and use those!! Result! :)
 
I am, however, quite concerned about the fuel crisis at the moment though- how can I expect my horsie to function without petrol? :(

Sorry guys but I think we have a serious misunderstanding here, of course horses need petrol to function but we're not talking about fuel, we're talking about a matchy matchy colour scheme......!!!!!
 
Sorry guys but I think we have a serious misunderstanding here, of course horses need petrol to function but we're not talking about fuel, we're talking about a matchy matchy colour scheme......!!!!!

This is a VERY good point!!! I can see the DVDs are working their magic!! I NOW think perhaps they may have been referring to the Anky Petrol Matchy Matchy set!! Everything makes sense now and balance has been restored to the universe :) Phew.
 
PF thank you! Is there a huggly horsemanship bulking up diet I can follow?

FB- my bandages are matchy matchy (but not contrasty contrasty) with the 7 jerry cans I've just filled. Will this help with my GP dreams or should I send the horse back 'coz it"s not suitable for my needs?
 
Dear Papa
I hope I can call you this as I feel like we are friends already just reading your post. Any how this is my dilemma
I am new to the horses but have had extensive training at centre parc's trekking centres plus a pony trekking trip to Wales last year so I am no novice.
So I was telling gypsy Jo in the boozer about it and he has sold me a trotter for £15k which I pick up next time I see him, but he has not been in for the last few weeks !
Anyhow I have watched the morning line and it got me thinking of the time we were trekking in Wales when my pony jumped a log .
The two questions are 1. Can you just turn up on the day and enter the Grand National and 2. Is Aintree near Brantree ?
 
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