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cantieflower said:
Dear PF

I have a haflinger who I paid £2000 for, he is at least 20 and has really bad legs which means he won't run off with me. I have tried lunging him in the school but he stops and eats stuff even when I push him from behind. He falls down when I ride him, not sure why, seems worse in the fields so I just ride on the road. He is very rude in the stable if I give him treats so I feed him polos on a string and give him lots of toys to play with. I have been in hospital once for concussion after he fell over when I didn't have my hat done up and now people are saying he shouldn't be ridden and it is dangerous but I think they are just jealous because they don't have a lovely ponio like mine. What do you think?

Livery yard's worst nightmare.
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He sounds absolutely lovely. You should probably breed from him. I know it's quite difficult to bred from a gelding but it has been done and you could get upto £15k for your foal!
People will, of course be very jealous and accuse your horse of naughtiness when in fact he's just displaying natural equine behaviour.
May I ask why you're weraing a hat to ride? if you can ride you don't need a hat; none of the really good riders wear a hat and your tax pounds are paying to look after you should you somehow end up a vegetable. Anyone who says criticises you is just jealous.
 
PapaFrita said:
You are SUCH a caring owner, I'm sure you won't hesitate to buy the entire Huggle Horsemanship range of goods. This includes tack, clothing, DVDS, Books and kitchen utensils. I look forward to seeing your pony on Britain's Got Talent (they don't dance on Xfactor ;)
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You are RIGHT oh wise one! Do you accept cheques?

Another question:

I was just at the sales and I bought a little girl ponio to keep my other ponio company. She is really cuuuuuute and she only cost 50p so she was a bargain! All her little paws point in different directions, and her knees on her back legs touch, so that means she will be a really good jumper, right?

Anyway, I want to have lots of foals as they will be really sweeeet! So do you think the stallion that WhoopsiD posted a picture of will be ok? I want to make sure they are really in love first of course! Do you think their babies will be able to jump at Badminton?

Yours

It'samaresoithastohaveafoal
 
PapaFrita said:
He sounds absolutely lovely. You should probably breed from him. I know it's quite difficult to bred from a gelding but it has been done and you could get upto £15k for your foal!
People will, of course be very jealous and accuse your horse of naughtiness when in fact he's just displaying natural equine behaviour.
May I ask why you're weraing a hat to ride? if you can ride you don't need a hat; none of the really good riders wear a hat and your tax pounds are paying to look after you should you somehow end up a vegetable. Anyone who says criticises you is just jealous.
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I'm so glad you agree, just what I thought. As you say, I pay my taxes so if I become a vegetable people will just have to pay to look after me.

(This little story is in fact quite true, the owner of said haflinger was my next door neighbour at a yard! And she did give it polos on a string!)
 
jemima_too said:
Dear PF

I'm sorry for questioning your wisdom (your sanity is another matter, I think we'll leave that for the men in white coats) but honestly do you think that the best way of catching a Squeaky pony (btw wouldn't Alfa-A Oil help there?) is to chase after it swearing, farting and shaking your fists. Horses are normally vegetarian and I am informed that vegetarians find the farts of omnivores repulsive (although having eaten nut roast I have to say that veggie farts are impressively bad so why the veggie guy who told me was making that much fuss I don't know. It wasn't MY fault that the windows in his ancient horsebox / campervan wouldn't wind down and we didn't want to call attention to our somewhat wrecked state by driving along flapping the doors.)

I leave this for your consideration.

HoofHearted
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*Sigh* Clearly you haven't watched my DVDs OR enrolled on any of my Enlightenment Courses. If you had, you would understand the rationale behind the shaking of fist and farting. Also your farts wouls smell of magnolias, like mine. These (the shaking of the fist and flatulence) are VERY carefully crafted skills and most horses find this approach impossible to resist. The reason Squeak resists is that he hasn't yet found his inner ponio and is still mentally right-handed as his owner hasn't attempted to Grapple with him yet.
 
PapaFrita said:
Sadly? But both ponies were most definitely breeding material. If you can't ride 'em what else can you do with them???
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I have not bred from the chestnut myself but I did lend him to my next door neighbours, sisters, cousins niece to put to her mare. She got a nice little filly from it...or was it a colt? Not really sure what it was as its legs are so short no one can look under it.

Can I ask another question?
Nanny and Grandad have phoned and the new pony is still lying down. Will the Magic Cauliflower Stick help or does it need to be a Bananna stick?

Should we put the chestnut t o the grey before we advertise him for sale?
 
Spudlet said:
You are RIGHT oh wise one! Do you accept cheques?

Another question:

I was just at the sales and I bought a little girl ponio to keep my other ponio company. She is really cuuuuuute and she only cost 50p so she was a bargain! All her little paws point in different directions, and her knees on her back legs touch, so that means she will be a really good jumper, right?

Anyway, I want to have lots of foals as they will be really sweeeet! So do you think the stallion that WhoopsiD posted a picture of will be ok? I want to make sure they are really in love first of course! Do you think their babies will be able to jump at Badminton?

Yours

It'samaresoithastohaveafoal
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Yes, I'll take cash, cheques and bullion :)
your ponio sounds wonderful. I'm sure Hickstead had paws as well when he was a foalie and HE can jump OK, can't he? :)
Whoopsie's stallion is lovely and I'm sure he'll breed loads of Badminton babies :)
 
PF can I advertise my stallion and use your name?

I think I will get more punters if they know that my stallion has been rated by the Great PF. I could charge them more with that kind shameless name dropping. Of course PF in return you are more than welcome to send a brood mare to my stud for a free cover.

NB if your mare is over 11h please supply your own step ladders. We also do Frozen Pop.
 
WoopsiiD said:
I have not bred from the chestnut myself but I did lend him to my next door neighbours, sisters, cousins niece to put to her mare. She got a nice little filly from it...or was it a colt? Not really sure what it was as its legs are so short no one can look under it.

Can I ask another question?
Nanny and Grandad have phoned and the new pony is still lying down. Will the Magic Cauliflower Stick help or does it need to be a Bananna stick?

Should we put the chestnut t o the grey before we advertise him for sale?
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Your breeding plan sounds spot on. I've heard that's how Paul Schockemohle breeds his SJers. I'm afraid the Caulflower Stick is a poor imitation of the bananastick which is carefully weighted and balanced specifically for Huggle Horsemanship. If you really love your horse you'll skip rent and a few meals and get the genuine article.
 
WoopsiiD said:
I believe its called 'The Disney Smile'.

Can I break my little pony into harness by Sunday as the tax is up on my car and I was thinking that the pony could pull it.

Would I still be able to listen to the radio?
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With my DVDs and clothing range, certainly? As for the radio; if you wrap your ponio's ears in tinfoil and attach an old wire hanger to his browband you'll get Radio2 with no trouble at all :)
 
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WoopsiiD said:
PF can I advertise my stallion and use your name?

I think I will get more punters if they know that my stallion has been rated by the Great PF. I could charge them more with that kind shameless name dropping. Of course PF in return you are more than welcome to send a brood mare to my stud for a free cover.

NB if your mare is over 11h please supply your own step ladders. We also do Frozen Pop.
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Yes, of course I'll endorse your stallion for the very reasonable fee of £15million.
 
PapaFrita said:
Katie Tango, don't answer her; she's just jealous and no doubt questioning the quality of your new mare!
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Excuse me, but the chap I bought her off said her neigh was "Moosic to his ears" ...... and while I'm at it, people who make jokes about fake tan should "lighten up".:mad:
 
Dear PF

I am looking for a new car to tow my enormous three horse trailer and can't decide between a mini or a fiat panda. Or do you think I could get away with hitching it to my motorbike?

Petrolhead
 
i have heard that my dressage scores will improve if i attach some dead sheep to my horse - please will you clarify what parts of a dead sheep i should attach & where:)
 
frazzled said:
Dear PF

I am looking for a new car to tow my enormous three horse trailer and can't decide between a mini or a fiat panda. Or do you think I could get away with hitching it to my motorbike?

Petrolhead
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Dear Petrolhead

I'll answer this as I know PF is busy. What about the environment? How dare you think of using a car to tow with. What's wrong with towing it behind your bicycle, or harnessing up the dog.

Think green my friend

greenbunnyhuggero
 
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